


The Fall of an Angel

by eJ121



Series: Demons [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Aborted Undertale Genocide Run, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Baddest badster to ever badster, Canon-Typical Violence, Chara is agender, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Frisk is Agender, Gaster is definitely a Badster here., Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mild Smut, Mood Whiplash, Multi, My First AO3 Post, My First Undertale Fanfic, My First Work in This Fandom, Not much fluff though, Not that he deserves any praise for that..., Philosophical reference, Player as Antagonist, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, References to Undertale Genocide Route, Soft Chara, Suicidal Thoughts, The Prophecy (Undertale), What did you expect anyways?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-11 08:32:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 51
Words: 127,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7884157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eJ121/pseuds/eJ121
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>Genocide – Killing people. It isn’t exactly something a kid picks up easy. But it’s not exactly like anybody is born evil, either.<br/>So how does one become a demon? And if they were given a chance to redeem themselves for once, what would happen if they took it?</p>
  <p>- - -<br/>The fallen human has been through hell and back. Forced to murder the ones they loved by a mysterious outsider, forced to keep going despite the dust on their hands and the pain in their chest.<br/>When they wake up on a bed of golden flowers, formerly known as their grave, and the third one has left them, seemingly for good.<br/>What will they do?</p>
  <p>- - -<br/>Within the void, a plot to destroy the multiverse is coming to fruition. Only one timeline stands between it and success.<br/>With monsters mysteriously disappearing left and right, and enemies both old and new crawling out of the woodwork. Is this world truly kill or be killed, or can hope be found in the most unlikely of places?</p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	1. Foreword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, just before you get into reading this, I have one thing to say.
> 
> If you are reading this using the **Firefox** or **Opera** , please use **Internet Explorer** , **Microsoft Edge** , or **Google Chrome** instead. This is because the work uses a work skin, and **Firefox** and **Opera** hide many of the fonts that the skin uses, such as wingdings.
> 
> If you dislike the styling, you can always click "Hide Creator's Style" at the top of the page, but please bear in mind that the styling on this work is purely there to improve the reader experience.
> 
> Thank you.

Foreword

 

 

It is explicitly stated in the bible that fallen angels cannot be redeemed for their sins.

\---

This is argued to be due to the nature of their sin; an irrevocable sin made of free will, a complete rejection of God’s reign.

**_“There is no repentance for angels after their fall, just as there is no repentance for men after death.”_ **

\---

This is a subject that is barely touched upon in the bible.

Why?

That’s a question for another time, another place, another day…

\---

But when a fallen angel tries to repent and become a better person altogether…

\---

Should they be able to receive forgiveness for their sins?

Or should they remain fallen permanently?

 

 

 


	2. Prologue: A bad dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello there and welcome to my first AO3 post.  
> I really sincerely hope you enjoy it.
> 
> But before you begin reading:  
> Undertale is an amazing game. Seriously, if you haven't already, I recommend you [get it here](http://undertale.com/).

Prologue: Nightmares

Prologue: A bad dream

As the last remnants of the flower turned to dust, departing in the wind, the whole world began to fade to black. This was a world in which only nothing could exist, and Chara was definitely somebody who fitted that description.

This was a quest that had begun out of fear, fear that nobody would love them; nobody would accept them, not after what they had done, how they were responsible for all that pain…

The human child before them hadn’t really stood much of a chance at resisting control, and, given that the flower had recognized them from the start, everyone else would have caught on eventually.

There wasn’t much enjoyment to find from tarnishing what was a perfectly good world. Ruining the beauty by turning everything to dust, but it wouldn’t be too bad, would it?

It was now that they noticed the human child facing them, and just beyond them was a third party, previously invisible, but now drawn into reality. This was the one who wanted to kill everything with some kind of crude, unfaltering desire, the one who had pushed on in this dire mission even when the puppet and the puppeteer’s resolve had faltered.

Chara half-smiled, keeping their hands concealed behind their back, they manoeuvred into view of the third party, putting on the strangest voice they could think of, they spoke.

**“Greetings, I am Chara, the demon that comes when you call its name.”**

The third party seemed confused, anxious, scared even. Which was good, for that would keep them from seeing the truth about the lost soul who was staring them down.

What could possibly drive someone to do that? Why didn’t they just want to turn back, and what pot of gold could the third party have expected to find at the end?

All Chara knew was that this third party had made their presence increasingly and worryingly obvious during this run, forcing both of them to go through with actions they detested, and pulling the trigger for them without hesitation when neither of the other two were willing.

This third party was troublesome; a threat that needed to be removed.

**“…HP, DEF, ATK, GOLD, EXP, LV, that feeling, that’s me.”**

Chara thought for a moment, sure, they were a feeling, but they weren’t the pleasure that had resonated from the red soul all three of them controlled. No, they were the regret and the remorse. The other human child was the fear.

**“Let us erase this pointless world, and move on to the next.”**

A world in which all life had been obliterated was most certainly pointless, Chara decided. And it would most certainly be their job to erase the evidence and take all the blame. That had always been their role in life; scapegoat: first for humans, then for monsters, and now for the player who still believed this was just some kind of game.

Chara took a step forward when the player selected to not erase. They ran their hand down the side of their neck, noticing when it came back covered in sweat. They sighed in frustration, what right did the player, the third party, whatever they were to be called, have to decide the fate of the world?

They’d done a darn good job at it so far – killed everyone, turned the human child into a murderer… People like them didn’t deserve to be given a choice in the matter. If somebody had just given them no good options, then… then maybe – then maybe Asriel wouldn’t have had to die two times over…

Sure, Asriel had been a flower, he wanted to be entertained, he had made mistakes, but he was a good person at heart, he definitely didn’t deserve to die.

Feeling their grip tighten around the weapon in their hand, a knife that was now blunt from killing, Chara smiled a little. One last time, just one last time and then it would all be ok.

**“I think you misunderstood…”**

They raised the blade slowly, carefully so as not to give away what they were doing to the prying eyes of the third party. If they did that, the third party would try to stop them, and if they succeeded… That was why it was important they were confused. It brought Chara precious seconds.

**“Since when were you the one in control?”**

The blade cut sharply down, destroying the third party’s view of the world, trapping them outside in the perpetual darkness.

Once they were certain the third party was gone, Chara turned to face the human child, Frisk as they were called, something Chara didn’t want to say until the third party was gone, because they didn’t know how much of their thoughts the third party could see.

Chara sat down, glancing up close at the flowers. The flowers were really the one thing that had kept them going through all these endless timelines.

_“Flowers never failed to mesmerize me. They have beauty and succinct colour, but some, such as roses, can also have power and threat.”_

Frisk took a seat beside them, letting out a succinct nod.

_“I’ve been doing this for so long, stuck in a nightmare from which I can’t escape… So many of those ‘players’ are the true monsters of this world… I wouldn’t have ever put that kind of cruelty above humanity though…”_

Chara sighed, finding that their hands were clasping ever tighter around the earth beneath them, _“I wish I wasn’t part of that species, you know?”_  They found the last words closer to their heart than expected, _“I wish I wasn’t human.”_

Frisk placed a comforting hand on Chara’s shoulders and they felt a comforting voice in their head.

“Don’t worry. It’s just a bad dream, and now, it’s time to wake up.”


	3. Chapter 1: Shaky Start

Part 1: After the storm

Chapter 1:Shaky Start

The light, that was the first thing that woke them, the gentle, not-too-strong, but not soft enough to be missed, ray of sunlight that illuminated the left side of their face. Chara’s eyes flipped open slowly, groggily. This wake-up call was even worse than the one they got when Frisk landed on their grave, and that was saying something!

Chara smiled a little. This is why they had self-elected to be the narrator, that way they could make Frisk’s journey to the capital, in their own words, _“A gazillion times more fun.”_

They still held the belief in their heart, even though Frisk claimed to prefer pretty much every other character over them, that they were the best character in the story. Hey, they were better than Jerry, right?

Rising into a sitting position, they tried to recall how on Earth they got here, looking to their left for Frisk, who should be in their normal position – fat butt right on top of the burial site. _“Well, at least they didn’t fart...”_ Chara dropped a note-to-self to never, ever let Frisk fart while they were here.

But something wasn’t right, Frisk… They… They weren’t even there.

Chara noticed only now, a feeling they hadn’t felt since, well, since they’d been around to smell the flowers. Only now did they notice the wetness of the dew as it soaked into their underwear.

Leaping to their feet with a start, Chara hastily wiped down what was now soaking wet with a frustrated grimace. This was one of the reasons they hated having a body. Physical touch was often an annoying hindrance. But it probably would have its upsides in time.

It was then that the realisation hit them. Somehow they knew that Frisk wasn’t coming, and they had taken Frisk’s place. Holding back on the sudden urge to curse – they were eleven, for a start, and now they had a body, somebody might actually _hear_ them – Chara massaged their temples, letting out an earthy bellow of a sigh. This was stupid! Where the hell was Frisk?

“Don’t worry. You’ll do great.”

Chara felt every syllable coming from somewhere, somehow inside them, but it wasn’t their voice, it was… Frisks voice.

Chara inhaled breath, they were going to need it. **“Why the heck did you give me your body Frisk? What do you want me to do with this anyway?”** They yelled, keeping the volume down in case a certain flower heard them.

“The player. They can’t control you, and… we’re similar enough to pass for each other, sorta. This way everyone gets a happy ending, and there’s no danger of a reset.”

Chara shook their head and stared into the ground, _“Let’s face the facts Frisk, I just can’t get a happy ending, some people don’t… don’t deserve one.”_

“As I said, you’ll do great, I know you will!”

Chara sighed, _“But what about you?”_ they asked, their face contorted, not with anger, but with solemn guilt. Frisk deserved a happy ending, they didn’t.

“I’ll be fine… I think, anyway.”

That was the attitude Chara had when they first woke up as a ghost, when they thought it would be cool being intangible, nobody noticing you, not being able to even tell your parents how you were doing… But they decided it was probably for the best that Frisk didn’t know that, _“Fine, but something will go wrong, and when it does, I’m going back to old habits, ok?”_ They informed Frisk.

They didn’t want to kill anyone, but they knew, somehow, that not everybody would be willing to forgive them. Especially a certain skeleton with a blue coat and a cool, flashing eye…

Chara sighed, it seemed that Frisk had finally decided to shut up for once. Taking a step forward, invading the next room like it was some kind of strategic move to step through a door. They weren’t used to walking around much anymore, so their walk took time and a hell of a lot of effort. More than they would usually expend. Wow, this body gig was getting better and better by the second.

Just as they thought the cost was clear, a familiar voice rang out.

“Howdy, I’m Flowey, Flowey the flower… Heh, you look like you’ve seen me before… Why’d ya make me introduce myself again huh?”

Chara smiled a little. It was good to see that everyone was ok, including their best friend. Probably best to leave that reveal to the end though, as he needed to absorb everyones souls in a flailing attempt to be evil to break the barrier anyway.

 **“Besides,”** Chara thought, **“Who would want a friend like me, after how many people I’ve hurt, after what I’ve done…”** Their uncompromising façade fell for a moment as they remembered the last timeline, how they’d literally ground him to dust… How they’d- they’d killed their best friend in cold blood, when all he wanted was to make… to make them happy.

The Flower seemed to be too busy pretending to be nice to notice that they were burrowing deeper and deeper into troubled memories of killing them. In fact, they didn’t even notice when he summoned up his ‘friendliness pellets’ to give them some of his LOVE…

There was a sudden pain that ripped through Chara’s chest. They let out a gasp as the pellets tore through their soul. They fell to their knees as it slowly began to crack… No. They wouldn’t let that happen. How would that help anyone?

The soul stopped falling apart as Flowey’s face transitioned to what was no more than a poor imitation of Chara’s old creepy face. They curled up into a ball as a fresh ring of pellets surrounded them.

“Wow, you really hate yourself, don’tcha? Just one hit and almost…”

“You know, there’s something my friend told me a while back, and I stick by it.”

**_“IN THIS WORLD, IT’S KILL OR BE KILLED.”_ **

**_“DIE.”_ **

Chara struggled to hold back the tears, the anger, and the pain. They, they were the one who had turned their best friend into this, this monster.

The flower laughed again and again, uncompromising as his pellets closed in. Chara let out a reluctant sob, resigned that now, they would die for sure. They deserved it anyway, so it would all be fine. That would be the happy ending…

The flower looked somewhat dignified, but also a little conflicted that the human he was attacking seemed resigned to their death. He stopped for a moment. It’d probably be no fun killing them if they already wanted to live.

_“Do you want to be killed? Is that why you just stood there and let me hit you over and over, when you’ve already met me, when you already knew…”_

Chara held back the tears that were aching just behind their eyes. That flower had literally no idea…

The flower seemed to decide that it didn’t really matter how fun it was, so long as they got the EXP they came for. As the pellets both suddenly and quickly converged on the soul, Chara closed their eyes. At least they knew they’d be helping a friend, in a distant, odd way.

Just as the pellets made contact, there was a flash of light from the side of the room, a fireball, thrown in at speed that sent Asri- no, Flowey, flying off to some other far corner of the underground where he could make somebody else’s life absolute hell.

Chara opened their eyes slowly, carefully. They had probably been a huge disappointment to Frisk. But at least they had accomplished something, whatever that _something_ may have been.

It was to their surprise that they found their adoptive ex-mother looking at them in a gentle, caring manner. In honesty, it was hard to see Toriel in any way other than caring; when it came to children, _‘caring’_ was the only setting she had. But it didn’t help, seeing someone care for you, knowing that you killed them mercilessly…

Toriel’s face fell as she saw the child before her. They reminded her of her second child, Chara, both in fashion sense, but also in body language – closed-off, regretful, and self-loathing. Toriel looked away for a moment, sighing sadly. She wasn’t sure she could cope with yet another memory, another echo of the child she’d loved and lost.

“It is alright my child; the miserable creature that was tormenting you is gone now. Everything is going to be fine.”

Chara sighed sadly, that sentence would only be true if they themselves were gone, because, try as he might, Asriel would never be able to scare them. But that was something they’d probably be better off not revealing to the motherly goat, that she had just thrown fire in the face of her not-quite-dead son.

“You are the first human to fall down here in a long time.”

Chara couldn’t help but smile. If only Toriel knew about the resets. There had been roughly five humans who had fell down here in the past month. Ironically, until now, they had all been the same human.

Then Chara went back to the usual self-loathing. They were responsible for this loving mother who had done nothing wrong losing not one, but two children in one day. It was horrible, knowing how much pain they had caused her, and that soon they were going to end up causing her more pain.

Not to mention the look Toriel had given them, reminders of your long-dead children weren’t exactly the nicest thing, especially when you’d put every ounce of care you had into raising them, only to see them both die within an hour of each other…

Chara sighed sadly. They had caused so much pain. How had they even lived with themselves during the first reset, the second, and the third? And worse, Toriel would find out about it too, that they hadn’t even felt the knots in their chest, the water behind their eyes. Who they were, what they had done-

“Come my child; allow me to guide you through the catacombs.”

Toriel set off without really waiting or checking to see if Chara followed. Chara did, but it hurt, part of them wanted to just stay in the room and wait for Flowey to come back and kill them for the EXP. But part of them wanted to follow Toriel, a feeble hope that they could somehow make amends for killing their own mother.

After a few moments of inner turmoil, self-loathing, and internal screaming, they made the decision to follow Toriel into the ruins.

The place, now that they couldn’t hover around or go through walls, and weren’t being dragged along at a faster-than comfortable speed either, was huge.

Stone pillars towered upwards, connecting neatly into the ceiling with decorated tops that seemed to splay out like a dress. The two-way staircase, grand as ever, towered up on either side of the staircase, connecting in a balcony that lead neatly into a narrow, slit-like door.

There was foliage on either side of the door, in a way which made it look decorated, rather than aged, and trees grew, looming over the staircase in an ominous manner. The area between the stairs was covered in deep crinkly leaves, the kind which Chara and Asriel had once played in. The kind they had once enjoyed the gentle sun under. Azzy was the one who had been plant-obsessed, just like his father. He knew every kind of flower, and loved to play in the crinkling leaves.

There was something about the way the ruins hung overhead that made the memory more sorrowful, deeply coveted with regret. A regret which also had a glimmer of hope, hope that maybe Chara might be able to secure a permanent happy ending. Maybe, against all odds, they could finally do some good.

The shadow of the ruins as they loomed above, and the memory of how everything had come to be this way, it filled Chara with _DETERMINATION_.


	4. Chapter 2: Motherly love.

Chapter 2: Motherly love.

The first puzzle of the ruins was really little more than a wordy inscription and a few switches. Chara had always thought it was quite cute that monsters used puzzles to defend their home. They could have used traps, or even an army consisting of more than five people, but no, instead they used puzzles, riddles, and, as a certain skeleton would add, they also used japes.

If you ever doubted the kind nature of monsters, this would be the biggest and most obvious example of it.

Chara had waited patiently for Toriel to finish her short lecture on puzzles being a “ _fusion between diversions and door keys_ ”. This was a description that could be defined as the “Idiots guide to puzzles”, and, given that Chara had heard it enough times to bore you to death, they instead decided to direct their mind’s energy to stopping the torrent of memories that were rushing through their head and causing their insides to burn like a wildfire.

It was actually quite ironic that there were puzzles, especially given that making the wrong choice on this puzzle didn’t actually do anything. It was almost as if it was intended to show any human how a puzzle works on the off chance that they didn’t have a functioning brain.

Chara decided to follow her ex-mum into the next room, where several switches were arranged in another not-actual-puzzle. The correct switches were not only lead up to with a path, but also recently labelled in yellow by Toriel. Did Toriel think humans were stupid, or was this… was this how Chara had left her? Was this how, how Toriel had reacted to losing both her children… By becoming a recluse who is overprotective of kids?

The water that ran past was similar to the water found in waterfall, how it glowed bright blue, it brought back memories… of Undyne, and how the hero had fought to live in order to save the world, how the hero had failed…

Chara sighed; they should probably cross that bridge when they come to it. Their own cringe-worthy humour didn’t even make them feel better, something that was hardly a surprise, but made them wonder if perhaps they should ask Toriel to tell them a joke. Her diary was full of them after all…

Toriel, as if having some kind of motherly sense as to how Chara was feeling, held back a smile, then spoke.

“My child, please listen to this joke I’ve found.”

Chara was already waiting for something funny, and this was something that Toriel soon caught on to. Toriel forgot the joke she was trying to tell under pressure, and decided, rather than to admit that, which would just make the poor thing feel even worse, she would come up with one on the spot.

“Why did the robber solve the puzzle?”

Toriel thought for a moment, trying to think of a suitable punchline, noticing the child was ever-impatient for a response.

“Because he was looking for some lever-age”

Chara smiled a little, Toriel was laughing at her own joke too loud to miss the lack of enthusiasm behind the laugh in response. This was why Sans was the comedian, not Toriel. Instead of laughing, Chara slowly began to sob. They had stolen Frisk, all monsters best friend, hadn’t they? They had taken away the happy ending, and they had… they had killed everyone else. They were a robber, a thief, a fraud.

As Toriel noticed that her child was holding back the waterworks, she moved over to comfort the tortured soul, who almost seemed to reject her, to push her away in a manner which reminded her so much of the child she once had that it made her herself want to cry. But, if she cried, what kind of example would that be setting to the child?

“Now, now, it is okay to cry, my child, it is okay to cry.”

Toriel spoke carefully to the poor thing, putting on the best motherly tone she could. She was doing her best, but it wasn’t ever going to be perfect.

Chara shook slowly, feeling the tears come on in a storm-like fashion as they recalled everyone they had hurt in the last timeline. The tears were both of regret, remorse, but also of relief, that finally, somebody would let them release it all, without being prejudiced, without looking at them differently afterwards, and that it wasn’t permanent, that they still had their mum, even… even after what they did last time around.

There was something melancholic about the ruins, their purplish-pink colours with barely any detail on the surfaces. They weren’t beautiful or dramatic, just melancholic and forgotten. It was something that made Chara wonder if, in a way, the ruins were really like them in the end, not attractive or interesting, just deeply sad.

When Toriel was confident that they could leave the child without them bursting into a fit of tears, she left for the next room without a word. This was something Chara was grateful for, as it gave them a moment to think, to stop before they dropped back into another memory, to prevent the uncontrollable flood of sadness and anger and pain from overwhelming them.

The next room housed a full lecture on how the combat system worked. A lecture Toriel should probably have tweaked to include the words ACT and MERCY, but she probably couldn’t think of a sensible way to weave them in, and didn’t want to intimidate humans with a complicated battle system with tons of rules and regulations.

Talking to a dummy was about as worthwhile as can be expected. Chara couldn’t think of what to say. It was hard deciding what to say when you couldn’t even tell the darn thing your name without somebody who really, really shouldn’t know it overhearing you. They sighed, _“Hello, how are you on this fine day?”_ they asked in an over-exaggerated voice that was clearly fake, then turned around and waited for Toriel to react.

Toriel faltered for a moment, that voice was so much like the child they had once had, Chara, who, on a bad day, would often pretend to be fine in a way that was so transparent, it was obvious. Clearly, this child wasn’t Chara. Chara died and was buried under the flowers, but they were definitely similar in personality. They’d probably just had a similar life before they fell down.

“Well done my child, now please follow me into the next room.”

Toriel moved through the door with a reasonable pace, waiting on the other side for Chara to catch up. Chara remembered Frisks first run, where they’d been so scared they didn’t know what to say, so just kept sparing it in hope that something would come to them. It was really quite hilarious, when in the end, the dummy just left, and the expression on Toriel’s face, priceless!

The puzzle in the next room had spikes everywhere. This was the one room that, understandably, Toriel literally never let a child walk alone through. Impalement was a real threat here; if Chara hadn’t been there near the end of the pacifist run, Frisk would have definitely stepped on all the spikes and been killed!

Of course, that didn’t mean that Chara would ever appreciate the unnecessary hand-holding. They could walk it by now – they’d been through here a good few times and knew it by heart. But it felt good to feel the hand of the person who was once their mother, in theirs. It made them hold on a little tighter, knowing how close they were to losing it all again.

Toriel turned, clearly noticing the tighter grip.

 “My child, is everything okay?”

Toriel’s voice was as sweet and motherly as ever, a voice that made that wall of regret and hurtful feelings just explode back into Chara’s face and hit them with the force of a thousand punches to the stomach. They held their breath to force the lump out of their throat and the quiver out of their voice, then sighed, _“I- I’m uh, I’m fine.”_

Toriel receded into deep thought, so the child was also a bad liar too? They really were very like Chara. It was almost a thought that worried her. Had her child been here for hundreds of years, calling out for her, asking for help, had she been unable to see it, unable to heed their calls? Had she not been their mother in that time of need?

Toriel released their hand, and, without the mind to come up with a better excuse, said the first thing that came into her head.

“Puzzles seem a little too dangerous for now.”

They both knew it was obviously just a quickly thought up excuse to explain the unnecessary hand-holding, but something which, to an extent, considering the lousy placement and choice of puzzle, was most-certainly true.

The final challenge was definitely the most difficult; walking to the end of a long room, without guidance, but also without any obstacles to impede progress, definitely a challenge worthy of a mighty warrior. It was almost as if monsters wanted their kingdom to be invaded. Seriously, there wasn’t a puzzle or other monster in sight. Did monsters think humans were braindead or something?

Walking this long room, Chara couldn’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu. It was familiar, just like the climb up Mt Ebott. Just like the countless attempts to get up when they had landed. The many failed attempts to clamber to their feet, the many failed attempts to get Asriel to kill. The many failed attempts to live up to the name of ‘the future of humans and monsters, the many failed attempts to be a good person.

In short, Chara was generally no more than a failure, they tried things over and over; they never succeeded. Maybe that’s why they allowed the genocide run to happen, maybe they actually wanted it; maybe some part of them, deep down, actually didn’t care about anybody, and just, just wanted everyone dead.

Were they a demon? Was the definition they gave to the player actually accurate? After what they had done, how many people they hurt, people close to them, people who, in another life, were their friends, their family. They weren’t actually sure.

The walk was just long enough to make them wonder, wonder if perhaps they should be where Sans wanted to send them, perhaps they should be burning in hell. They had, after all, hurt their parents, their family, who had loved them, indefinitely. They had, after all, killed everybody without compromise or a sign of turning back. They had, after all, killed papyrus when his brother was watching and the player wasn’t.

One thing that was certain was that when they got to Snowdin, they’d have a heck of a lot of explaining to do, and that was something that shook them, scared them. It made them worry. The same exact worry that had _really_ made them kill Papyrus.

That, if they didn’t, after what they’d done, who would accept them? Did they even deserve acceptance after killing so many people?

Chara sighed sadly, walking without much adjustment or consideration; they were suddenly interrupted by Toriel.

“Do not worry, my child, I did not leave you, I was merely behind this pillar the whole time.”

Toriel slowly began to notice something was bothering the child before her, and whatever it was, they were aching to tell someone who would understand their pain.

“Whatever it is, my child. Please, tell me what it is that is bothering you.”

Chara struggled to keep the pain cooped up inside. They had hurt everyone. They shouldn’t even be here. This should be Frisk right now, not them. They caught their breath, stopping the train of thought before it could lead them into more tears, _“Do you think I’m a good person?”_ They asked, their expression was serious, sincere even, in a manner that said ‘I hurt you and everyone else real bad, and I need to know, do you forgive me for it.’

Toriel didn’t know what they had done, or why they may have done it, but she sighed, taking a deep breath. This was something that reminded her very much of Chara indeed. Chara had always asked serious questions like that. Asgore was always too busy in his garden to find time to answer, so Chara would ask Toriel to answer. It meant that mother and daughter had grown very, very close indeed.

“My child, bad people don’t ask that question, because bad people don’t feel remorse.”

Chara felt a combination of regret and relief in their chest, something that made the pain worse, but they took an edgy step forward, hugging their ex-mother with a heavy-handed grasp, resting their head into her shoulder.

Toriel bent down, gently resting against the child, who was definitely making a point to hide their identity from her, and yet she already had a reasonable idea as to who it was. It was incredible, how she hadn’t recognized her own adopted child, how, after all these years of thinking she had left New Home for her child, she now saw that she was little better than Asgore when it came to cherishing their memory.

Toriel let out a deep breath. Chara would tell them the truth when they were ready to, but for now, it would be best if she let them decide on their own. She held back the pain, forced herself to say goodbye, even for half an hour, it hurt.

She wanted to catch up, to know what her child had been doing, how they had survived, how they had come back to her. But it would be best for both of them if she let Chara decide these things on her own.

Chara had always been a little over-secretive, closed off. Chara wouldn’t want to be mothered, and this was what Toriel used to decide what to do next. The best way would be to give them a phone. They only one they had was Chara’s old phone, a brick they’d brought with them from the surface, that had been reverse-engineered and used to make copies that could be used by monsters.

“My child, I am afraid I have some business I must attend to.”

Chara looked down at the ground, avoiding eye contact with their mother, trying desperately to hide the tears in the corners of their eyes from her. To keep the pain in their chest and to force back the knot that had formed in their throat.

Toriel sighed sadly, it was always hard for her to say goodbye to children, even temporarily. The longing look in their eyes before she left always made her feel sorry.

“I have an idea. I will give you a **CELL PHONE.** ”

As Toriel passed them the brick, that was _obviously_ their old phone, in a manner that said ‘I know’ in a really quiet voice, Chara held back the urge to call out. The phone was their mother’s way of saying ‘this should be your own choice, but if you need help deciding, just call.’

Chara stayed still for a good minute, fighting back the tears and the pain in their chest until they were confident they could move without creating a small puddle beneath them or a trail of salty drips behind them.

Chara passed through the door, seeing the familiar place, with the monster candy to their left, the cute Froggit watching them with intense curiosity, and the path that curved sharply left, cutting between the leaves around it. Chara sighed sadly; passing the monster, knowing that they couldn’t talk to it just yet; they reached the other side and felt the leaves crunch and crinkle gently underfoot.

For Chara, the idea that perhaps, maybe someone might forgive them, that they might be salvageable in the end, and the familiar sound of the leaves as they retreated underfoot, despite their sadness, despite their pain, it made them feel _so_ much better… And, it filled them with _DETERMINATION_.


	5. Chapter 3: Old habits die hard...

Chapter 3: Old habits die hard...

Froggits had always been adorable monsters. They didn’t actually have a language, and were closer related to frogs than you’d imagine, but it was fun to roleplay a formal-speaking frog that had knowledge it could not have possibly obtained normally. Since there was no such language as ‘Frog’ Chara would often use a Froggit to project onto, to check on the part of their psyche that couldn’t really be found consciously.

The first Froggit probably said something along the lines of ‘good day’ to Chara, but they knew that would mean nothing to Frisk, or to the Player, so they would normally give it some much more useful dialogue, and try not give themselves away on that by being pushy about their motive, to get them to save all monsters.

It was better to imagine those monsters as near-omniscient, rather than like animals, it made it harder, harder to hurt them, harder to kill them if you thought about it that way, and it was much, much better if you didn’t.

So why did Chara do it the last timeline? Why had Chara killed all these monsters if they, if they were like that? Was it because they, deep down, actually wanted everything dead?

Just as Chara was about to drag themselves back to the pits of hell where they belonged, another Froggit hopped up close, it had this inquisitive look on its face and a longing in its eyes, as if, somehow, it knew of the pain they were going through.

Unable to resist the charms of a cute-but-smart-and-knowledgeable frog, Chara reached out, petting it gently. They carefully sidestepped around the playful embrace of the frog’s jumpy bullet pattern, for, as much as it was a gesture of kindness, if it hit their soul, it might hurt them. That’s how having friends normally effected Chara, in the long term. It just made you hurt inside, knowing that you would disappoint them, or they would move on, knowing that it would come to an end, it… it just hurt.

The Froggit looked up to them with this gentle compassion in its eyes. It didn’t want to fight anymore – it just wanted to be friends. It just wanted some lowercase love in its life. Life was difficult for a Froggit, they didn’t speak like other monsters, and their parents had long since left by the time they hatched.

Chara sighed sadly, throwing it a weak _“thank you”_ before stopping the fight and leaving the Froggit to find its own answers to the questions of life and become its own person without their interference. That way, maybe it might eventually become a _Final Froggit_.

Chara smiled a little, more likely, they just didn’t want to get hurt if, and when, they had to say goodbye later on. They had always been a bit of a coward when it came to making friends. Asriel was their friend because he’d approached them and practically forced them to become his friend. He’d been the best of people back then, and they’d corrupted him, turned him into whatever the heck that flower was. If that wasn’t proof that they shouldn’t have friends, Chara didn’t know what was.

Chara decided to forego the monster candy, after all, they had survived sans last time around; they probably wouldn’t need it, and if they actually took some, they’d feel like the scum of the Earth.

The monster candy tub was intended for all monsters to take a piece. It was meant as an act of charity to all monsters. They had actually put it there when they were new to the royal family at the time when a famine was sweeping the ruins. It also solved to help strengthen trust, meaning that anyone who doubted their intentions could be temporarily silenced.

Still, it was meant for monsters, not humans, and if they did actually take some, they imagined they’d have a constant reminder of the person they were back then stuck in their pocket; a reminder that they really, really could do without.

The next room, with a line of broken floor tiles across the centre, was another puzzle that could only really stump those who were brain-dead and didn’t know how staircases worked. Chara imagined it might have been useful in slowing down invaders at one time, but it wasn’t exactly worthy of the name ‘puzzle’.

Just as they were about to leave the room, as they gave it a quick backwards glance to make sure they couldn’t understand the broken mind of the person who designed it, they were interrupted and ended up looking into the eyes of a terrified Whimsum.

Chara LOVED Whimsums. They literally burst into tears at the sound of a pin drop, and they would run away if you tried to console them too. A small portion of their race was actually fearless though, and became Whimsalots – foes that were much, much more formidable.

Chara decided to toy with it a little though, and on cue, went straight into their famed creepy face…

Of course the Whimsum showed affection and thought they looked attractive. Why had they expected anything different? Yes, this was the face they wore to dates and social gatherings, was it not?

Almost laughing at the somewhat unexpected outcome to their decision, they narrowly avoided the circle that they could have sworn was smaller than usual and got smaller over time, then allowed it to leave, somewhat embarrassed that a small flying monster found their creepiest face attractive.

They decided that this would be one story they would not be telling anyone, not even their literal soul-mate, Frisk. It was literally the most hilarious thing that had happened to them since they’d died, but they did want to maintain their pride, so it was probably for the best that this incident remained a secret.

The room with the single rock and the pressure pad almost seemed to think that humans didn’t know a switch when they saw one, and went by without incident, leaving Chara with substantial time to think. Toriel hadn’t called, probably because she either knew Chara’s preference, or didn’t wish to intrude. Toriel was giving Chara space to make decisions, letting them do it on their own, but it was starting to bug Chara that there had been literally no contact from the motherly figure.

Chara took out the phone and decided that it would be best if they called themselves. They wanted to at least talk to somebody on their way through.

The phone buzzed rather violently in their hand. Like many old phones, its vibrate function literally meant ‘small earthquake’ not ‘pleasant, slightly numbing massage’, and it shook Chara out of their thoughts in an instant.

“My child, is everything alright?”

Toriel’s voice somehow sounded even more caring than usual, with a hint of fear buried behind each word. The thought that somebody cared for them both comforted Chara, and made them feel anxious, anxious that if they did the wrong thing, then they’d get hurt, then they’d lose that person.

Chara sighed sadly, _“Everything’s fine… But, if you’re planning on surprising me, just, don’t.”_ They decided to ward off any unexpected surprises. If there was one thing they did not want, it was an unwelcome memory of the last time from the smell of a pie. They did not want to have to come to terms with the fact that they had done that to their own mother. They couldn’t, if they did, they’d break, they were certain of it.

“I did not intend to surprise you, but, now that you’ve suggested it… what a brilliant idea! You like Cinnamon, right?”

Toriel’s voice was laced with excitement. It made Chara want to throw up. But that wouldn’t exactly be good manners in the middle of a phone conversation. Chara sighed, _“No, it isn’t.”_ They lied, hoping that they could force Toriel to make a pie solely with Butterscotch instead.

But that, of course, was futile, as Toriel didn’t even wait for an answer, as she already knew the Child’s preference, and the response they’d just given sounded more hollow than an empty box.

“I knew it! See you soon, my child.”

Before Chara could yell down the phone to warn her Mother to stop, Toriel hung up the phone.

Chara sat down on the rock, ignoring the fact that the point of it was digging into their tailbone, and let out an exasperated sigh. They twitched as tears emerged from them without remorse.

Why? Why had they killed everybody last time around? How could they live with it, knowing what they did?

A projectile hit Chara straight through the heart, damaging their soul in a way that they barely noticed, given that they were in agony from the memories of their own actions already.

The sound of rushing water from one of the catacombs as the anger directed inwards overwhelmed them. They lashed out with intense hatred, their weapon slamming into the Froggit that stood before them. The Froggit quivered as their HP dropped down, staying just a sliver above 0.

Chara trembled as they recalled every time they had done that all at once. Everybody they had killed, every single hit they had landed… How they had killed Papyrus, even when he believed in them, and Toriel when she just wanted to protect them. How many people had they killed that way? It made them feel sick inside.

The Froggit sent weak attacks at Chara, unable to aim properly for the nature of its injuries. They still hit, even when they missed. Chara just couldn’t live with what they had done. It was a fact. Every time they did something, or didn’t do something, someone got hurt. They always hurt people, they always caused more pain. It was like some kind of freakish curse, and it made them just want to die.

The Froggit just looked at them in that cold, unknowing manner, waiting for Chara to do something. It made them hate themselves, the person they had become in that last timeline, it was unbearable. They yelled out, desperation in their eyes. **“Go away! I- I’ll only cause you pain!”**

The Froggit didn’t understand, it couldn’t, but it seemed to be threatened by Chara’s screaming. It still wouldn’t leave. It was as if it was waiting for them to calm down. But just seeing the Froggit and their reflection in its weak eyes, it made them hate the person they were, it made them ache inside, and it made them want to just kill it so the pain would go away. It made them want to do that so badly…

Chara made the familiar move. The move they had made countless times in the last timeline, the move that had been used to kill so many monsters, to cover the lands with dust from their remains.

They raised the stick, looking into the Froggits eyes, seeing it as it stood there, fearful, yet uncompromising in resolve, staring back with a burning hope that the weapon wouldn’t come down, that this wouldn’t be the wrong choice. That was the same look that had been in the eyes of all the monsters last time.

Chara just wanted the pain to go away. They wanted it to stop so, so badly. There was so much hurt, they had ruined everything for all of the monsters. They shouldn’t even be here… They should be burning in hell, where they belong.

Everything faded to black as they swung the stick as hard as they could. They took all the rage that had built up inside, all the anger that they had aimed inwards, and released it. Their eyes flashed with uncontrollable hatred, immediately followed by regret, deep regret.

The stick slammed against the hard ground inches to the left of the terrified Froggit. The Froggit swallowed with an audible gulp as Chara regained control, getting their breathing to slow down, allowing the relief to just about worm its way in, past the self-loathing and the regret.

They took the stick back and sat down next to the Froggit, curling up into a ball and letting the pain that was clawing at the walls they had built tear them down in an instant. Chara shuddered as the first tears reluctantly spilled out of their eyes, dropping to the floor in front of them.

Next to them, there was a sudden flash of light. Froggit turned towards them, a sense of gratefulness in its eyes as the green projectile shot straight into their soul.

Chara didn’t know precisely how, but the green bullet made them feel a little better, and though they still felt the pain in their chest, the regret for almost killing such an innocent creature, they also felt love, of the lowercase kind. Something they hadn’t really felt since… since they’d been alive.

Chara gave the frog monster a disproportionate hug, apologizing in a much more sincere way than normal for hurting it. They even considered giving it a kiss on the cheek in hopes it might turn into Asriel, but then decided that that would be going too far; after all, it was a Froggit, not a frog. And besides, did they really want to see their best friend yet given how they had handled the idea of a familiar smell?

Chara sighed, walking more paths that felt eerily familiar, still feeling the phantom dust under their fingernails, seeing invisible 9999999s reflected in the eyes of the monsters they met, feeling a certain sense of déjà vu about it all.

They laid tired eyes on the hole with the mouse that sat opposite the table and sighed sadly. The mouse, as usual, was too terrified to get the cheese, and it had been there for so long it had stuck to the table.

It seemed that old habits would die hard as they felt that familiar feeling of being filled with _DETERMINATON_.


	6. Chapter 4: Giving up the ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The depressed ghost is just a _little_ riled up this time around.
> 
> To make it even more interesting, why not listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFM5CJeOkY8) rather _dapper_ piece by [GlitchxCity](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-lmdv0OTb4uQQSzwbzhLsg)
> 
> Thank you for reading this far. I love writing fics, but I love hearing your responses even more ;)

Chapter 4: Giving up the ghost

The sight of the Napstablook was really more than Chara could bear. Napstablook wasn’t exactly cheery, and Chara suspected that if they had to go through his fight, they’d find themselves crying too.

After the close call with the Froggit, they didn’t exactly want to risk throwing their emotions into turmoil again, in case they did something they might regret… Decided, lifting a foot, they tried to creep around the sleeping ghost.

They stood on a twig, and quite literally internally screamed as it snapped with a brittle crack, waking the sad ghost in an instant.

Napstablook froze, looking Chara in the eyes. He moved back a little when he saw what they’d been trying to do, something unsettling about his presence.

“I remember you....”

Sheer dread ran down Chara’s spine as, for the first time, since the last timeline, they felt their sins crawling down their back. Napstablook had avoided them last timeline, it was as if… as if he’d known they were coming, and what they would do… if he got in their way…

Napstablook’s face twisted into a deep frown as he moved in closer, inspecting them, double checking to figure out where he knew them from.

“You’re that kid, the one who had their tendrils in the murderer............ heheh............”

Chara couldn’t even bear to answer him. They just looked down at the ground and hoped that maybe he would move on, that maybe he would skip questioning and just… just let them pass…

“I’m told I’ve got no sense of humour........But it’s real funny....... I didn’t know a ghost could enjoy making others....... dead. Until I saw you.....”

Chara sighed sadly. Napstablook had seen them in the ruins in the last timeline. In the ruins, they… They hadn’t exactly been in their right mind… They’d been so angry, so confused. They’d… they’d just killed everything…

They’d had plenty of opportunity to be good, but they’d wanted power, they’d wanted to kill something to make up for the failure on the surface, to get rid of the anger that wasn’t really their own.

Chara felt the cold on their face as their surroundings descended to black. They felt the chill running down their spine as the ghost smiled. Napstablook smiled! Normally that level of confidence, from him, would be pleasing, but…

“For what you did to my cousin last time round, I’m going to stop you, right here and right now.”

Chara sidestepped carefully as the usual tear attack rained gently down. That was just as expected, which was odd, given Napstablook had made it sound like he was going to try hard, hadn’t he?

Just as Chara was about to relax, the tears that had passed them stopped falling and they let out a yelp of pain as the acidic sadness ripped through them, knocking them forwards, forcing them straight into the path of the next.

Napstablook took them off guard with his rotating tears that would turn around on their way past, before sending a blast of pure saddened energy that blindsided Chara before they could even catch their breath.

“It saddens me one of us could be so........ Inconsiderate...”

Chara thought back to how they had killed literally everything, how they’d been surprised the first time nobody came, how they’d wanted another to kill, another to make them stronger. That was probably how the third party got so much control over it all, because they had been a stupid idiot! Chara shuddered, “ _Please, listen to me, I’m sorry, ok? I… I don’t know what came over me._ ”

Napstablook sighed sadly, a look of disappointment in his eyes as they started to water again.

“Yeah, right, as if I’d ever believe a word you say.......”

Chara wondered if they should just take the hit. Let their soul shatter into a million pieces. It’d probably serve them right for doing what they’d done, for killing who they killed.

Nobody would miss them. They’d proved that the hundreds of times they’d called out for help _but nobody came_.

The tears flew in from either side, cutting across in time to the music, something that, under any other circumstances, might have even been entertaining, but now was just painful.

Chara had learned to dodge with precision and speed the last time around, but even still, they couldn’t dodge, not if they were unsure whether dodging would be fair, or even right. Instead they felt the sadness as each one ripped through their chest, smashing into their soul. They felt the deep regret rising through them. They’d hurt so many people. They were the reason it was all messed up. They… They didn’t even deserve a second chance.

When the tears stopped and Chara had a little time to breathe, they sighed sadly, “ _I’m so sorry! I… I hurt you so much, didn’t I?_ ” Chara asked extending a hand as if to offer an apology, as if to hope that somehow they could worm their way out…

“Ghosts don’t have hands, sorry.”

Chara was almost thrown off their feet as the tears rammed into them. Their soul looked like it was about to give up. They were resigned to their death, but, something about it didn’t feel right… There was some part of them, somewhere deep inside that told them to _accept_ the punishment, to just give up and let him get what he really deserved.

But, some other part… it was something they didn’t even think they had, but it spoke so clearly, so suddenly, and it immediately became clear. No. They could make this right. They _had_ _to_ make this right.

Chara leapt left, right, dodging with a sense of purpose, a newfound confidence, stability. They felt the pain in their chest as their soul threatened to break apart, the sweat running down their brow; that made their clothes cling to them like wet swimwear. But still, they knew they had to push on, to fix their mistakes.

The tears exuded a deep sadness that made Chara really want to cry, but they knew that they should do that later, after they’ve figured out how to fix things here.

“What I really don’t get is why. Why did you do that? What did you even want?!”

Chara wiped the tears off their face, flinging their body out of the way of an explosion of sadness, forcing their way through the tiny gaps and desperately trying to block out the part that kept saying ‘but he’s right, you’re just a killer, a psychopath, a real _monster_.’

When the tears finally came to an end, Chara struggled, ignoring the fact that their eyes were running profusely, _“I- I know I did terrible things, but would your brother look at you- look at you the same way if- if he knew you killed someone?”_

“So are you saying he won’t like me for it? I don’t have any friends anyway! And you don’t even know him! You didn’t even join his fan club!”

Chara exhaled sadly, closing their fists to block out the pain, to block out the fear, and to block out the memories. To block out the image of Asgore, the look of absolute shock in his eyes as he’d slowly turned to dust in front of them, as he confronted the terrifying realisation that his own long lost child had just landed the killing blow.

Another tear slammed into them while they were still seeing the people they’d hurt, knocking them onto one knee. They only had the smallest sliver of hope, of self-belief left. But they were determined to make it right, to make amends for their terrible mistakes.

Chara desperately, shakily rose to their feet, falling back down, almost onto their stomach, seeing a final tear shoot past over their head. _Close call_ they thought, silently thanking their weak legs. They lunged forward with as much strength as they had, but barely moved an inch. It was as if their legs were jelly! Tears cut through the air behind them again as they dragged their injured form into the last corner, the tears closing in, slowly but surely.

They looked Napstablook in the eyes, pure desperation as one final blast of magic energy shot out, as the tears blocked them in tighter than ever.

Chara curled up into a ball and closed their eyes as the magic closed in around them. This was what they deserved for what they’d done. For killing their own parents, for ignoring every opportunity that was given to them, and for not even abiding by their own morals; this was their fault, how they, how Asriel had ended up, it was _all_ their fault, and for that, they deserved to die anyway.

Chara shuddered as tears rolled from their eyes. They looked Napstablook in the face, their lower lip quivering, “ _Do it, but please, make it quick._ ” They told him, regret seeping through every syllable as their tears dripped to the floor, as they curled up in absolute self-loathing.

There was a sudden feeling of absolute guilt that overwhelmed their chest as the magic rushed in to the point where they could literally feel it vibrating on their face.

“I...... I can’t kill them. They....... They regret it, a-and they didn’t even _try_ to hurt me and.........and...............and...............................................”

Chara raised their head, wiping their face clean, feeling the tears that ran down it, the flow hadn’t even been stemmed. But they spoke anyway, “ _I know how much he means to you. It’s…_ ” Chara sighed, picturing Asriel in their head. What had they even done to him anyway? They had hurt him, and then he had conspired with… someone… to hurt everyone else… Chara looked down at the floor, “ _It’s like that with the people we love._ ”

“I’m sorry......... I.... Just made this really awkward, didn’t I?”

Chara couldn’t help but smile a little, “ _No, no! Blooky, you- you didn’t make this awkward at all, so, please, just wait, please, let me apologize…_ ” They clambered to their feet, despite the pain, biting their tongue to hold in the sound of a wince.

The ghost froze, letting out a sob, but making sure to keep it directed away from the human. He waited.

A gentle expression took Chara’s face by storm, and they let their breathing slow, let the flow of tears stem, “I know I hurt you, I hurt everyone.” They spoke with a quiver underneath their voice, behind each letter, even in the moments where they said nothing, “And… I know it’s inexcusable, what I’ve done…”

Another image of Asriel flashed before them, this time from before, his face when he’d walked in on their ‘plan’, their ‘plan’ to **escape this pointless world, and move on to the next**.

Chara fell to their knees, their legs unable to hold them up any longer. “I didn’t want this, this second chance, but someone, a better person than me, they gave it to me. I’ve been given this opportunity, and-and I just- I just want to make it right.” They shivered, “I just want it to go back to how it was before I came here, when they were all happy.”

“I..... I think I get it............ You know, when I’m sad........ I lie down on the ground........ It makes me feel a little better..................”

That painful image of Asriel, as he’d… as he’d took their hand and told them that he didn’t like that plan anymore, that he- that he wouldn’t doubt them though; that they’d do it, that they just needed _six_.

They remained silent, too busy holding back the tears, the pain that was tearing them apart from the inside out to even reply. The memory of how they’d, how they’d ruined everything with a stupid, stupid plan, a plan to free everyone, that had… That had only really locked the door tighter.

The sad ghost was already gone by the time Chara looked up again. They curled into a ball, their tears overwhelming every single sense they had as the memory overwhelmed them, the memory of how they’d somehow thought that they, two kids, one of whom couldn’t even hurt a fly, would actually stand a chance against humans. How had it even been considered a possibility?

Maybe Flowey was right. Maybe they were _an idiot_. Would it really be a surprise if they were? They’d gotten their best friend killed, destroyed every single ounce of hope the underground had, and then ruined everything by killing everyone, crushing everyone’s hopes, everyone’s dreams in an instant. This was all their fault and… and they couldn’t even do anything about it!

Chara lay down on the ground not to feel better, but to make sure they recognized the worthless trash they actually were. Frisk had given them this opportunity, this reset to make things right, and they’d almost screwed it up twice now. What next? Would they kill their own adoptive mother?

_Oh, wait, they’d already done that!_

Chara had this hysterical laugh. It was the sort you’d hear if someone was in absolute and complete despair. The kind usually adopted by divorced parents.

It was something they’d probably picked up from Toriel, or maybe it was the other way round, but… they just hated it. They hated it so much! It made them look as if they were laughing, as if they found it all funny, when they’d just done something that made them hurt, ache even.

It was another one of the many things that they really, really hated about themselves. Not only did everything they touch wilt and die in their hands – case and point, but when they did do something absolutely awful, it looked like they enjoyed it, like they found it funny. It… It was so… It was so horrible, knowing that if you ruined everything, the first thing you’d do would be laugh about it, then you’d regret that and slowly, gradually start to go from laughing to cry-laughing, and then finally to just crying.

Chara climbed to their feet, their face wet from tears as they dragged their worthless soul through the rest of the ruins. They didn’t encounter a single monster as they went, just solved the puzzles. It was as if the underground had gone silent.

They began to wonder if they’d killed everyone again and just imagined being a good person. It’d sound about right, for them at least, anyway. After all, that was who they were, the demon that comes when you called their name.

Just as they were about to consider breaking the stick in two and driving it into their chest, Napstablook returned.

“I........uh, I decided to make it up to you by getting everyone out of your way.......... Figured you didn’t want bad memories..............”

Chara smiled a little, giving him the closest they could find in their weak body and tortured soul as a hug, “Thanks Blooky. I promise I won’t hurt your cousin.” They told him, resting their head on the air where his shoulder should have been.

Napstablook smiled a little, he’d been intending to show this off for a while now, and he supposed now was as good a time as ever… He aimed his tears at a spot just above his head, gradually creating a jazzy hat that sat neatly just above his eyes.

“I call it Dapper Blook.... Is it good?”

Chara smiled a weak, but definite and true-to-the-letter smile, “No…” They let the word sink in the air for a moment, giving it just enough time for Napstablook to start to feel bad, “It’s amazing!” They exclaimed, glee in their eyes. For the first time since, well, Since Asriel, someone had done something that had cheered them up, that had made them happy.

“Heheh........ I usually come to the ruins because there’s nobody around, you know? But today, I guess I met someone, and they were nice to me too! So uh, thanks for that, I guess?”

Chara let out a flattered giggle, “Thanks Blooky, but we both know you’re the nicer one here.” They reminded him, watching a ghostly blush spread across his face, seeing him go a shade of white even paler than his usual tone.

Chara smiled in a sincere way, extending a hand in a gesture of trust, “I’ll see you again, right?” They waited for a moment, and when they didn’t get an answer, sighed sadly, “I mean, it would seem all you had to do to make friends was try to kill me and almost succeed, huh?” They joked with an informal grin.

“Yeah, uh....... Sorry about that........ I really didn’t mean to hurt you, I just thought you’d, you know........ Hurt him again..... I’ll get out of your way now, ok?”

Just as the ghost was about to vanish for good, Chara let out a shaky breath, recalling how they’d struck Mettaton down with a single blow, wondering if he remembered that like his cousin did, “Oh, and Blooky, can you uh, tell your cousin I’m sorry?”

But the ghost was already long gone.

Chara pushed back the pain their emotions radiated, slowly walking, carefully into the area with the tree. The sound of the birds singing, the gentle touch of the breeze on their face, the sight of such a cute house in the middle of the ruins, all of it reminded them of the person they really were, the fact they couldn’t hide, no matter how hard they tried. Something that wouldn’t change no matter how many monsters they spared.

They were Chara Dreemurr, the human child who had caused the underground to lose not one monarch-to-be, but two, and this was their punishment.

But knowing what they had to do, it filled them with _DETERMINATION_.


	7. Intermission 1: Distance doesn't matter

Intermission 1: Distance doesn't matter

“really kiddo, you’re gonna use that one again? i mean, isn’t it gettin’ a lil bit tired by now?”

Asriel looked Sans in the eye and sighed sadly,  “Yeah, you’re right, but I suppose I don’t have another way of ending things…”

“i know the feeling kid, i really do… i’ve seen things reset enough times to run out of good material, happens to us all sometimes.”

Asriel shook his head, “It’s not exactly easy thinking of good material when you don’t have your best friend there to help, to laugh with you, to enjoy the story…”

“wow kid, that’s uh, pretty sad… i know the feeling of losing family. i’ve watched pap die enough times to know it.”

Asriel let out an exasperated sigh,  “I feel so alone. Without them, it’s like my life is just empty, without their gentle ‘I’ll hurt you if you get any closer’ smile, without their tsundere approach to friendship, without their… the self-pity in everything they say.” He laughed a little, a defeated, pained laugh, “It’s funny, really, how someone who is so distant, so pained, can leave you so empty when they’re gone.”

Sans remained silent this time, just throwing a nod of agreement before he slinked off out of the room, clearly he didn’t want to disturb Asriel, so he just sorta, quietly left before anything could happen.

This was what Asriel was talking about. When Chara was in a room, they would try to push everyone else out, so they could tear themselves apart in silence, in private, so they could call themselves a demon without anyone else having to watch. Asriel would never let that happen, though he respected that they were distant, and wanted personal space, he could not watch his best friend destroy themselves with regret for the smallest of errors.

Chara had always been distant, distant because they just didn’t feel like they fitted in. They always thought they were some kind of demon or something. They just didn’t think they deserved anything, no matter what happened, not back then, and probably not even before then.

Asriel couldn’t help but imagine Chara running away from a home with the most loving, caring family the world had ever seen because they didn’t think they deserved it. If there was ever a problem with Chara, it was usually that.

Since the barrier had broken, things had been… shaky, to be quite honest. Alphys had come clean about some secret experiments she’d been doing. But, after what had happened, who could blame her?

Asgore had disbanded the royal guard – they weren’t needed anymore, after all. Though there were rumours that Toriel and Asgore might be getting back together again, Asriel couldn’t exactly confirm anything yet.

As for why Asriel was living with Toriel right now. It was only temporary. Everyone knew he would soon turn back into a flower, and that he only had a short amount of time with them, so they tried to spend it as best they possibly could.

Asriel sighed sadly, propping himself up on one elbow, “Chara, if you’re there, if you’re listening to me, I really miss you, you know?” He asked.

He felt a coolness on his cheek, a comforting, gentle rub that ran down the side of his face, he felt the piercing eyes of the longing stare that was most likely coming from somewhere in front of him, and he sighed again, “We- we all do, you know.”

Now the coolness moved to his shoulder, and the mattress just to his left depressed to an almost unnoticeable extent in a way that was barely visible, but he knew it was them. They were telling him to do exactly what he’d always told them to. _If you feel anxious, or scared, or angry, or sad, or afraid, sit down, take three deep breaths, one, two, three, and then you’ll be able to decide what you want to do about it._

Asriel smiled, breathing in and out, deeply, three times, then he sighed, “I’ve been thinking, about what you did, you know.” There was the feeling of a back pressed invisibly and gently against his, he let his chest rise and fall in perfect unison with its before continuing, “You really were a hero, in the end, even if you don’t think you were… None of us would be here without you, you know?”

The back pressed to his started to shudder, curling over and shuddering; he knew that movement all too well. He turned round, “No, Chara! Don’t cry, okay? You did good, you… you did the right thing, and it… it couldn’t have gone any better. It’s… It’s not perfect, but it’s permanent, and we’re all doing our best. I don’t think I’d change it, for anything else.”

The shuddering stopped, which was a good sign, and the gentle touch moved in a playful fashion to Asriel’s ears. He laughed a little, _“Stop that, would you?”_ then some more, _“You- he-heh-ah-aha-ha that- that tickles!”_ He yelled, rolling over, legs wind-milling in the air uncontrollably.

When he eventually got back to a sitting position, the touch had moved to his chest. Because it was heavier than expected, he knew immediately what it was doing. It was looking for comfort, looking for its best friend.

Asriel sighed sadly, wishing he could lean against it and they could both be together again. It was probably horribly lonely in the void, watching your friends go about their day-to-day lives without the opportunity to contribute or even say hi, without them knowing you were even there…

There was a gentle sequence of breaths against his chest, barely noticeable, and accompanied by no sound, but with how well he knew them, he didn’t even need any evidence to know exactly what they were saying.

Asriel smiled gently, closing his eyes and propping himself up against the wall behind him, he didn’t care that they were effectively worlds apart; he didn’t care because for their friendship, distance just simply did not matter. He smiled a little as he spoke, “I love you too, Chara, I love you too.”


	8. Chapter 5: Welcome home

Chapter 5: Welcome home

Smelling the pie as they walked through the door, Chara struggled to block out the recollections of the last time, how they’d struggled when the third party had first took control and dragged them down that hallway, how they had begged it to show mercy, or perhaps turn back, but all to no avail.

The door behind them let in a gust of cold air, betraying their presence to Toriel, who was sat by the fire, reading a book. Clearly, she hadn’t changed a bit since… well, since back then… You’d barely even know 100 years had passed.

“My child, are you alright?”

Toriel leapt to her feet, placing the book to one side in a way which allowed Chara to see the title _(“100 snail facts you never knew”_ ) and let out a snorty but relieved laugh.

“You’re hurt, my child. Tell me who did this so I can have a few stern words with them.”

Chara’s face twisted into a slight smile. This was just how they remembered Toriel – overprotective, perhaps a little too loving for her own good, and quite possibly obsessed with snails. They sighed, “ _It’s fine. I hurt them a while back and they..._ ” Chara remembered how Napstablook had looked at them like they were the devil on earth, with some kind of deep anger in his eyes at what they’d done to his cousin last time around. They couldn’t say they blamed him for it, so they just let out a defeated sigh, “ _they got me back real good, it’s fine._ ”

Toriel understood, even though she definitely objected to the idea that her child refused to name who had injured them this badly, she understood that sometimes people may do bad things for good reasons, so if her child agreed with their assailants motives, they would be very unlikely to give her a name.

That was another one of the many things about this child that reminded her of Chara; Chara would always believe, for some unjustified reason, that they deserved to be hurt, that they deserved to be injured, and often due to the smallest mistakes, such as baking a pie and mistaking ‘cups of butter’ for ‘buttercups’. It seemed to have something to do with their old human family.

If there was a monster that was capable of providing a better hug than Toriel, Chara had never met them. Toriel’s hugs were like little packages of understanding and motherly guidance interweaved with the perfect amount of love. Not to mention how soft and warm Toriel’s fur was against their skin. It made them actually miss the past for a moment, before they remembered why they weren’t still in it.

When Chara released her and just looked down at the floor in absolute shame, Toriel took her child’s hand and guided them past the staircase. Toriel had prepared for their child’s arrival in full, baking a pie, getting the room, which was in a shambles after the last human to stay there, and when they’d left, Toriel hadn’t wanted to go in there, not again… Not after having her heart crushed in by eight different kids over 100 years, with barely enough time to recover…

“I’m afraid it’s not much, but I hope you like it.”

A gentle smile spread across Chara’s face when they saw the room on the other side of the door. It was just close enough to how they remembered it to feel… familiar, but different to the point where it felt like something new… It was just far enough from what it was before to not bring back any more memories of the last timeline, or the time before.

That was when both of them finally noticed the smell of the pie, how it had gone from sweet, newly cooked to a burnt toast kind of smell. Chara sighed sadly as Toriel rushed off to catch it before it burned entirely, heading into the room.

There was a small bed tucked neatly into the corner in front of the door, and though it probably would have looked better hidden out of the way around the corner, Chara liked it in this way that wasn’t perfect, but wasn’t the same as how it was when they used to live here.

The toys that sat on the dresser and in the box next to it, along with the wardrobe, were a reminder that this room was once their own. The picture on the cabinet was whited out but they still knew, from good memory, and regret, what it would have been of; the family they had ruined, the hope they had purged. It was their fault things were like this.

Chara clambered onto the bed in the way that they always used to, lying face down under the covers to hide the tears that ran uncontrollably from their eyes and the spasm of uncontrolled emotion that ran along their limbs. This was their fault. They were the reason it was all like this. They were the one who had stolen every last ounce of hope from the underground, in one day. They were the one who had caused their parents to separate and trapped their brother in a soulless flower, confined him to that torture when really, it should be them who is tortured so.

Closing their eyes, sliding their face away from the cold, wet spot on the mattress to place it into the dark confines of the pillow, feeling the anguish in their chest, Chara wished upon themselves what no child should ever wish for. Torture, death, they didn’t care which so long as they got what they deserved. They had had this, all this; a loving family, a future, and they’d… they’d ruined it all in an effort to get back at the humans who had made their early life hell.

It was humanity that had made them like this… this demon. It was humanity that should burn, and it was humanity who had wronged them now not once, not twice, but three times, by forcing them to watch as it took control slaughtered every single person they cared about.

They knew in their heart that the third party was, and had been a human all along. That cold dark pain that came whenever the third party took control, the pain in their chest when they tried to resist, those were feelings only a human could rile up inside them. Only a human could have done that.

The last time round, it was here that they had started to lose control. Maybe they never even had any, maybe the only reason they had been able to feel in control early on was because they had done what the third party intended them to do anyway. But once they got here. The third party wouldn’t even allow them to sleep, it wouldn’t allow them to eat, it wouldn’t even allow Toriel to talk about the snails.

It was as if… as if somehow it knew exactly what it was doing, as if it had done this before already. That was what terrified Chara, the fact that, at any moment a presence could just grab hold of them, at any moment it could walk them out of the door and make them go through that hell all over again. There was nothing they could even do to stop it, and knowing that, it hurt, real bad.

Chara fell into, what was, by all accounts a troubled sleep. In reality, they barely even managed to sleep at all, because all they could see was Asgore’s face, their father’s expression of sheer and utter horror as he realised that it was them, his own child, who had been killing everyone he loved, everyone he cared about.

They had gained control in that final moment, but they knew the control would not last long, that in an instant, the third one would come back, and they’d have to watch Asgore, Asriel. They’d have to watch them die thinking they didn’t even care, thinking that they were… that heartless, horrible person. Maybe they were a horrible person, but they chose to end it quickly, on their own terms. It still wasn’t quick enough though, as both Asgore and Flowey had their own way of making it hurt like there was no tomorrow as they drove the blade again and again as quickly as they could, aching, begging for the pain to stop, for it all to end…

Chara felt the comforting feeling of their mother’s soft fur rubbing against their chest, their neck. She could see from the state of the pillow, of the mattress, that they had been crying, and comforted them with this gentle, warm, caring rub, the kind that you give to someone who has done good things.

Placing their hand to their mother’s chest, in warning, Chara shuddered; their crying became a torrent and their face contorted as the sadness of a hundred years exploded uncontrollably out. They didn’t deserve this kindness. They’d hurt everyone, they’d hurt their mother, and yet their mother only comforted them, loved them, baked them pie.

She- She would never understand how much pain they were in, how much hurt they were in because of what they had seen, what they had done. They had hurt their mother, their father, their brother, everyone in so many different ways and it made them want to just die, to kill someone, maybe even themselves – just to end it, to let it finally be over!

They didn’t even deserve a second chance. They shouldn’t have come back; it should be Frisk here, not them, not the demon that comes when people call its name. They…

They should be _burning in hell_.

When Toriel finally left, Chara placed their hand to their chest, where the locked they once wore with pride, with memory, should have been. They shuddered, remembering how Asriel had begged them not to kill him, but they’d just done it anyway, without remorse, without even an element of hesitation as they’d driven blow after blow into him until nothing. Literally nothing was left.

Chara felt the sheet get slightly more wet as their eye sockets let forth yet another torrent. “ _I- I’m sorry._ ” They tried to say, feeling those words Asriel told them as he handed them the locket, ringing in their head all over again. ‘Best friends _forever_.’ Was what that locket read.

Some best friend they were – killing everyone, hurting you, killing you without even a trace of hesitation or humility. Ha! They were really were the greatest friend, weren’t they? Chara thought, clutching the sheet with a grip that turned to iron as the pain roared through every single vein and muscle, as they watched Asriel’s face slowly turn from accomplishment to fear, as they saw themselves hit him again and again, not even letting him beg, not letting him whimper, not even… not even letting him make sound. Until there was nothing left but dust.

 _Story of my life – everything I touch… it all just turns to dust._ Chara thought, shuddering in deep sorrow as every single monster they had killed flashed before their eyes, each one turning to dust, all 110 of them turning to fragments of dust – ashes, each and every one with an expression of shock, fear, horror, surprise. It didn’t matter what happened, Chara was the one who had made them like that. Chara was the one who had ruined it… Chara was the one who had turned it all to dust.

Blooky, he should have killed them when he had the chance… They’d… They’d only end up hurting him in the long run; they’d only end up causing everyone more pain, more hurt. They’d only ruin everything, because that was all Chara was capable of. It was all they had ever done, ruin everything they were given… a good home, a caring family, a future, friends, a second chance, a third? They’d ruin it all. That was all they would ever do, and it was all their fault that things were already so… messed up…

It was all their fault.

Chara opened their eyes much later, taking the pie not because they wanted it, but because they were going to give it back. They didn’t… They didn’t deserve it, so they shouldn’t have it, right?

Chara returned the pie to the kitchen, resisting the urge to take the chocolate bar that they’d seen in the fridge last time around.

Chara was a comfort eater. Whenever they… couldn’t cope… they’d try to stem the flow of tears and pain with chocolate. It had been the only way they did cope for as long as they did, for the year they were down here, being cared for, looked after, despite all the pain they caused, despite how they almost got their adoptive father killed, like the _monster_ they really were.

Looking across the room, they made eye contact with Toriel, peacefully reading the book about snails again. Chara sighed sadly and looked away. That was how they wanted Toriel to remain; peaceful… happy…

But they knew that she wouldn’t stay that way if they stayed. Chara… they just knew in their heart that they’d only bring their mother pain. So they decided to leave, as much as it pained them, without saying goodbye.

They walked down the stairs into the basement, taking one last, longing look at this makeshift home in the ruins. How they’d miss it so, so much… They… They didn’t want to let go, but they knew, deep down, that they would have to, so they did.

Chara’s legs felt heavy, like lead, as they heaved their way down the gloomy, silent corridor. They didn’t want to go, but they knew it, they knew they’d have to.

Their feet met the purple stone at the bottom of the steps with a faint ‘puh’. They walked forward still, knowing that, as hard as it may be, they would have to go. It didn’t feel right, not saying goodbye, but it was the best way… It meant that their mother wouldn’t have to find out about the terrible, unspeakable things that they had done.

There was the sound of footsteps behind them, and Chara tried to quicken their pace, but only succeeded in freezing on the spot.

A white furred hand clasped their shoulder with a gentle, motherly embrace.

“Chara, I know it’s you – how you looked at the chocolate, the way you speak, the way you act, that you returned the pie told me that... Did you really want to leave without even saying goodbye?”

There was a heavy-hearted frailness, a fragile hope in Toriel’s voice as she waited for a response, a response that Chara could not seem to find in their throat, no matter how hard they tried. It hurt so much, knowing that their mother now knew, knowing that in order to leave, they would have to hurt her, but if they didn’t, they would… they would hurt everyone else, including Asriel.

“This tunnel, it connects to the rest of the underground, and I was planning to destroy it.”

Chara breathed in, breathed out, their breath staggered, their eyes feeling like dams that would give way any second. They took another step forward.

“Chara, I... I can’t lose you again. If you go, they’ll kill you, they won’t care who you are, so please, just stay here for now. I know it’s not perfect, but we can make it better, I know we can...”

Fighting against every single urge that their moral compass was giving them to turn back, pushing through the pain and the urge to stop, Chara forced their legs to move, forced themselves to walk forward, forced their legs to take another step.

“Chara, my child, this... this is your last warning, so please head upstairs and be good... please...”

Chara wiped the tears that were flooding down off their face. This time, they were not being dragged, but were making this decision themselves. They had to leave; to make things right with Papyrus, with Sans, with Alphys and Undyne, with Dad, and… with Asriel, they had to.

They reached the door, gazing up at the family crest that had once inspired them, the myth of the angel that would descend and free them all.

As their mother brushed aside her own emotional attachment, fire brimming in her hands, as the wind rushed by through the door that would soon be closed forever, Chara sighed sadly, wiping away the tears.

The world around them faded to black, the familiar sinking feeling of guilt as they looked at the opponent stood before them.

That feeling, whenever a number increases, that deep regret, that sickness, that painful emotion, that feeling, that was what they were, and what they always would be. But now, they could fix this, and the notion, the pure at heart intention of making things better for the first time in their life.

It filled them with _DETERMINATION_.


	9. Chapter 6: Heartache.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter you've all been waiting for...  
> What? You didn't want to have your heart ripped to shreds as Toriel does battle with her adopted child?  
> ...Oh...
> 
> Well, you can always improve it with [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4hO7tNQOpQ) amazing piece of music by [nyxtheshield](https://www.youtube.com/user/felipe95951)

Chapter 6: Heartache.

Stick in their hand, Chara stood opposite their adoptive mother, holding back the tears. Their heart ached like there was no tomorrow and they felt that sinking feeling of dread as the flames in their adoptive mother’s hands flashed brighter.

“My child, if you wish to run away, I would understand.”

Chara tossed the stick aside, extending their left leg back, lowering their body towards the ground, braced for whatever would come their way. It was time to fight for a better future; time to make things right, and this was the first step.

Toriel sighed, looking away, averting her eyes. She closed them for longer than expected in an effort to block out the tears, a failed effort. She couldn’t let her child leave, not again. She gave an uncompromising, but saddened look as she shot forward a burst of high energy flames. If they wouldn’t stay, she’d have to stop them from leaving.

Leaping aside, Chara felt the fire as it flew past, watched as it bounced off the floor, bouncing back around, forcing them to leap aside, gritting their teeth as another flame blindsided them on their way. The flames around them flickered for a moment, but then thoroughly reignited, flying at Chara with as much energy as ever.

Chara looked into her mother’s eyes, seeing the pain, the loss, they felt the burning pain as it ripped through their chest, their heart aching as they realised in full that their mother was right, that she knew best for them… wanted, needed them to stay, that they should stay, and that it was rude to try to avoid saying goodbye.

Toriel’s resolve remained uncompromised as she put one foot in front of the other, holding back the tears and firing another blast of fire at Chara, knowing that she had to stop them leaving, knowing that she just… she just couldn’t lose them, not again.

Chara, briefly distracted by that look in her mother’s eyes, felt heat and saw a flame heading their way. They reached behind them and to the left, finding the stick by touch.

Using the stick against the ground to gain some extra height and clear the blast of fire that shot up at them, Chara was glad it was a thick stick that wouldn’t yield, or break. They landed, catching their breath as a glint of sadness showed itself in their mother’s eyes.

A ring of fire closed in around them with a single gap, forcing Chara to dash at speed through it in order to escape. Flames kept going, much to Chara’s surprise. They dove for the opening as it flew past them, ignoring the pain of a hard landing against the stone floor, pulling themselves to their feet as another blast of flame hit them, charging through the gap again as the fire closed in all around them.

Chara felt another flame singe their back, and let out a surprised gasp, losing their balance and falling to their knees as one last fireball flew inches above their head.

Climbing shakily to their feet again, Chara turned to face their mother, “Mum, please! Just let me go.” They sighed, looking down at the ground, “I… I have to go, I have to make things right.” They told her with a weak voice.

“You need to fight back... Fight back or run away!”

Flames chased Chara’s feet as they leapt up into the air to avoid another blast. They ducked down as a huge fireball flew over them, diving aside as the blast flung dust up between them and their mother. They propped themselves up on the stick, gasping for air, “I can’t, not after… not after last time…”They replied.

“Chara, if you do not _learn_ to fight back, they... ASGORE... will kill you.”

Toriel’s face looked a mixture of fatigue, sadness, and frustration as she threw yet another fireball, forcing Chara to dive out of the way only to, yet again, rise back up. This time though, they were not fast enough to avoid the fireball that hit them square in the chest.

Chara was flung off their feet, and had to leap forwards to escape the fire as it closed in. Their soul felt weak, vibrating gently, but weakly against their chest.

Toriel extended her arm again, averting her eyes. She couldn’t watch this, no… but… what if this killed her child? How could she look at herself in a mirror if that happened? It wouldn’t. Toriel fired off the next fireball.

Using the stick to hang from a crack in the ceiling, Chara held their legs up, feeling a torrent of flame as it rushed under them, feeling the stick slowly start to give way, their tired, fatigued arms threatening to give as they tightened their grip and pushed it in harder. If they fell into that, they were done for, and if one thing was certain, it was if they died here, Toriel; their mum; she would never forgive herself for what she’d done.

The stick gave way just as the final flame died out underneath them. Chara propped themselves up against it and caught their breath, “Dad- Dad wouldn’t do that and you know it!” They looked into their mother’s eyes, “Do you trust me, do you trust me to survive out there, on my own?”

Toriel averted her gaze, flinching away from the question. Was she doing this for them, or out of a selfish desire to keep them here? No… This wasn’t out of selfish desire. This was true to _every_ intent and purpose; if Chara left, they’d… they’d die, even if they didn’t think they would…

Another blast of fire hit Chara, knocking them onto their face. As they tried to pull themselves to their feet, they remembered the last time they’d been like this, how Sans had stood over them, his smile slightly wider than usual, and then spoke, **“get dunked on, you dirty brother killer”** He’d said. Chara smiled a little, “ _Well, you got what you wanted; I got what I deserved for killing him…_ ” They told him.

Just as they were about to give up and let the last flame finish them off, they remembered one detail that had stuck out, something he’d actually said the first time they met him.

*         *         *

It was a beautiful day as the sun shone in through the stained glass windows, the sound of the birds outside was enough to make Chara wish they could just go out there, but the third one, they wouldn’t let them. They were going to kill Asgore and Asriel. And Chara – they’d just be strung along for the ride…

They were about to give up hope entirely when Sans appeared before them. They knew it was Sans because of the body shape, and because literally everybody else was dead. He spoke slowly, with this deep, pained hatred in his voice, hatred that made Chara want to curl over into a ball out of regret. It made them wish that he would kill them.

“i’ve got a question for ya. do you think even the worst person can change if they just try?”

Chara saw Papyrus as he stood before them, telling him that he knew they could do better, that he promised they could, even if they didn’t think so. They watched again as his head turned slowly, gradually, to dust. They didn’t… no, they couldn’t answer.

“i’ve got a better question… **_do you wanna have a bad time?_** ”

Sans’ eyes blacked out as he said the last part, his voice went lower than should have normally been possible, and he spoke much, much slower than usual. It sent a chill up Chara’s spine, and it made them uncomfortable staying still, so, even though he was clearly telling them not to, they took a step forward.

“sorry old lady, this is why i don’t keep promises.”

Just a moment later, Chara’s wish came true with a barrage of bones and blasters. Something for which, even though it hurt, terribly so, they secretly thanked him for.

*         *         *

Just as Toriel was about to charge up another fireball, Chara returned to the present. “Wait!” They yelled, causing their mother to faulter and the flames to flicker for a moment. That ‘old lady’, something deep down in their heart told them it was their Mother. Who feared for them, and wanted them to be safe.

Chara climbed to their feet, ignoring the pain from their battered soul. It literally _only_ had 1 HP, but they knew they could do this, “ _Mum, I- I know you really, really don’t want to lose another child. It’s happened to you before, and I imagine it really hurts. I’m sorry if it does, that’d be my fault._ ” They told her.

As the flames completely vanished from their mother’s hands, Chara held themselves above the ground using every ounce of strength they had, “ _I know you asked someone from the other side of that door to protect me._ ” They smiled gently, “ _I get the feeling the guy is a really, really strong monster, and he’ll protect me, no matter how much it takes._ ” Chara looked at the ground and let out a defeated sigh, “ _So please, don’t make me leave you like this, don’t make me have to leave knowing you’re sad, and worried about me, because, with a guy like him, I’ll… I’ll be just fine._ ”

Chara sighed, with Sans taking care of him, they would be just fine, but they had a sinking feeling that his ‘take care of’ meant something different to what Toriel had in mind…

Toriel froze, realising how selfish and irresponsible they had been to their child, wondering how they knew of the person she had asked to protect them, when she hadn’t even mentioned it to them… or had she? Her memory wasn’t exactly perfect after 100 years and nine children who had come and gone like the rain.

“My child, I... I’m so sorry.”

Chara smiled a little, stepping forward and taking Toriel into their best attempt at a hug. They were weak, but the embrace somehow made them feel stronger, “ _I- it’s fine, we all have to move on eventually, and… besides, I’ll… I’ll make sure to call you from time to time, ok mum?_ ”

Toriel embraced Chara as hard as she could, her eyes dripping gently down onto her long-lost child’s shoulder. Chara and Asriel had been inseparable, back before. Chara was always the fragile one, and small things would make them cry. It was important that they had someone with them, and that they knew that it wasn’t their fault…

“Chara, I know you think you’re responsible for so, so many things, but listen to me when I tell you that you are not a bad person, you’re... If you were, why would Asriel have liked you so much? So promise me that you won’t think that of yourself, promise me.”

Chara couldn’t help smile, their mum couldn’t draw an accurate verdict – she didn’t even know what they’d _actually_ done, but it helped, knowing that there was somebody in the world who thought they were a decent person, even if they were wrong. They lightened their touch in the embrace, “ _I promise._ ”

Toriel released their child, as much as it hurt her to let go, she had to – it was unhealthy for her to hold that grief in her heart after all these years anyway. Though, as she was leaving, she turned around to steel one last mournful glance at her child while they stood there, breathing slowly, with this gentle, subtle nature as they waited for her to leave.

Once Toriel was gone, Chara felt their stomach tie up into that knot they’d been desperately trying to suppress. They sat down, placing their back to the wall and their head between their knees as the first tears finally forced their way through the barricade and started to roll down their face.

The pain that roared through them was agonizing, knowing that, if their mother had known what they’d _actually_ done, she would have probably blasted them with fire on the spot and that would have been that, a fitting end, really, killed by their own loving, adoptive mother...

When they eventually willed themselves to their feet, they walked along the narrow corridor as it approached the light of the rest of the underground. They felt a sense of sadness, one far less than the agonizing, gut wrenching pain they’d felt as they’d been dragged down this hallway by their feet the last time around.

Just before they could exit the ruins, finally get out to the rest of the underground, Flowey emerged before them, and his face was one with a twisted smile.

“Clever, Very clever...”

Chara turned to face the Flower, giving him a look that seemed to cause him to move just an inch back. He was still Asriel, clearly, but he just didn’t know it or feel like it. Which made them miss him even more, because he was in there, they just had to find a way to get him out.

“You haven’t killed anyone... **_yet._** ”

The flower seemed to hesitate as it noticed the longing manner in which Chara was looking at it. But it carried on soon after, deciding that the feeling of longing that made it wish to stare back was just a coincidence, or not a feeling at all.

“But what will you do if you meet a relentless killer?”

Asriel’s face morphed into one that seemed to mimic Sans cold expression, causing Chara to have to fight to hold in their fear, to hold back their worry that Sans’ memory of the timeline before might just throw a huge spanner in the works, that he probably would kill them over and over and over, and the worst part, that if he did, he’d be justified, and correct.

**_“YOU’LL DIE AND YOU’LL DIE UNTIL YOU CAN’T TAKE IT, THEN, WILL YOU KILL OUT OF FRUSTRATION, OR WILL YOU GIVE UP ON THIS WORLD AND LET ME INHERIT THE POWER TO CONTROL IT?”_ **

Chara smiled slightly, a half-smile. They wouldn’t be giving Asriel, Flowey, whatever he wanted to be called, any power over the world, not ever. Not given what he’d do, not given that it would stop them from making things right… And as for dying, they’d already done it enough times to know it wasn’t really all that bad, you just felt all the pain inside you suddenly stop, and then soon after, you were back where you started. It wasn’t really a problem.

“ _I am the prince of this world’s future, but don’t worry my little monarch, my plan isn’t regicide. This is so much more interesting._ ”

Flowey spoke to them in a way that felt affectionate, as if some part of him, somehow knew it was them, but if he did, he didn’t seem to want to say it. Chara could have sworn that Asriel was trying to mimic how they had been back then, how, when they really tried, they could have made a really cool villain.

Chara’s best friend, imprisoned in a flower, then laughed at them in a way that, as far as they could say, almost seemed to rival their old creepy face. It made them smile a little; he was trying to impress them or something, wasn’t he? He was trying so hard it almost made it cute, knowing that he was still an adorable goat monster that wouldn’t hurt a fly inside.

Once they were certain the flower was gone, Chara stepped out through the door before them into the cold night-time atmosphere of snowdin. They smiled a gentle, sweet smile as the cold air rushed against their face.

They had made it way, way further than they’d even expected to; they’d managed to spare Toriel, Napstablook, and the various other creatures of the ruins, and, though there’d been a few close calls, they were actually starting to feel better about themselves. The mere idea that they were a good person, it filled them with _DETERMINATION_.


	10. Intermission 2: Determined Failures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well done if you read this far. You have successfully read part 1 out of 5.  
> (Don't worry, the plot will start to exist soon. Part 1 is mostly just introducing the main character.)

Intermission 2: Determined Failures

Toriel was in the kitchen with yet another pie that would have to go, at least partially, to waste. As usual, she’d forgotten that she had two mouths to feed – her son, and herself. Was it really surprising that a pie large enough for four at least went uneaten?

That was one of the best things about Asgore. If there was food, he’d eat it right up in some ginormous portion. Chara, on the other hand, was the opposite. They barely even touched the pies Toriel made; it had something to do with butterscotch pie being ‘disgusting’ something that could not be true. If you put two of the sweetest flavours nature had to offer into a baked pie, the result must surely be better than snail pie. Toriel suspected it was one of their more transparent attempts to give themselves the worst food possible because they didn’t feel they deserved to be treated, ever.

Just as Toriel was putting the last of the pie into the bin, she felt a cold touch, her child’s hand, against her shoulder. It was a comforting touch, one that made her wish to turn round to hug the child, but there was no child there to hug. Toriel knew what that meant. She moved herself over to the armchair just in time to keep herself from crying.

Toriel sighed, “I’m a failure not once, but twice.” she remarked sadly, something to which the hand responded by moving to her front and running gently, calmly down her cheek, as if it was trying to console her.

Toriel looked at the floor as the fur around her eyes started to become wet, “I not only failed to save you, but I also failed to be there in your time of need... I- I shouldn’t have let you leave.” She yelled, struggling to keep her breathing in check as she recalled perfectly how Chara had made sure to call her at every save point. The first call had been from just outside the door, the next was only a couple of minutes later, and then the one after that was at Snowdin Town.

Toriel was this child’s mother. She should have been there to protect them from harm, but she wasn’t there in their time of need. It was her fault that they were dead; she could have kept them here, she could have forced them to go back! If – if only she’d just been more careful. Then maybe Chara would still be alive.

Toriel closed her eyes, the chair felt comfortable, and her legs seemed to feel heavier than usual, she found herself drifting off to sleep, and as much as she hated to admit it, the cold touch that was rubbing gently against her chest didn’t exactly help her stay awake either.

When Toriel’s eyes opened in the dream, she was in a huge field with golden flowers; the flowers were just like those from Asgore’s garden, golden with five to six petals, and swung about in the wind. Above them, the sun shone in its noon-day position, and only a few cotton candy clouds were scattered across the sky.

Behind her, a familiar voice spoke, “ _You like what I’ve done with the place?_ ” It said that matter-of-factually, as if it was less a question so much as a statement of truth.

Toriel turned and froze; it was like she was looking at a mirage – her long lost child, stood before her, waiting with a gentle smile that was so genuine and so real, for a response. But all Toriel could do was smile and say, “You always did like those flowers…”

Chara took a step forward, wrapping their arms gently around their mother. “ _It_ _turns out this place adapts to the desires of the person who lives in it. Gaster was obsessed with darkness, so it only yielded darkness for him. I love the golden flowers and the landscape of the surface, so it filled with those things._ ”

Toriel froze for a moment, “It’s certainly good to hear you are okay, but how am I hearing that you are okay? Am I... dead?” She asked, honest fear in her eyes as she said the last word, fear that she might never get to see her son again.

A gentle laugh was the response, “ _No, mum, you’re just asleep. I guess I can bring people’s dreams here when I’m around and they’re asleep, huh?_ ” Chara sighed sadly, “ _I know you think you’re responsible, for so, so many things, but listen to me when I tell you that you are not. It’s not your fault I’m… like this, it’s mine, so promise me you won’t think it is, promise me.”_ Chara told her, mimicking the promise Toriel had made them make upon leaving the ruins in a way that was both to remind her how they got here, and to comfort her too.

Toriel managed a weak smile, “I promise.” She responded, feeling the pain and the regret in the back of their voice, but pushing it aside.

Chara smiled a smile that was literally warm, then exhaled slowly, carefully, “ _You know, you have died once, but someone I knew brought you back, and they really deserve credit for that, but I can’t give it to them._ ” Chara looked away, hiding the tears in their eyes, but their voice as they continued gave away how they were feeling in an instant, “ _I was the one who killed you, killed everyone, they brought it all back. I had one objective, to get a happy ending for you guys, to make things right, and I couldn’t even do that!_ ”

Toriel gave their child a gentle, soft hug. She didn’t precisely know what their child was talking about, but she could tell that they were struggling with it and needed help from a motherly figure to offer stability and support. “Chara, it doesn’t matter whether you failed, succeeded, or somewhere in between, because you tried your best, and that is what matters.”

Chara smiled a little, but then their face fell again, “ _I know, that’s what I want to think, but I- I killed you, I killed every single person; Papyrus, Undyne, Mettaton, Asgore, Asriel…_ ” They sighed sadly, “ _I’m not really all too sure if my sacrifice really makes up for that, for what I did…_ ”

Toriel understood now. Their child was suffering from guilt because of something they did, that was somehow undone, but they still carried the burden of memories from it. Toriel knew that kind of regret, but hadn’t realised how much of it Chara must have been carrying around, how much must have weighed them down, and yet they had still kept on going.

Toriel sighed, “My child, you have been carrying this burden from the start, have you not?” She already knew the answer, so decided, rather than to wait, to press on, “That means it has been weighing you down for a very long time, and yet you still pushed through it – you have shown immense strength of will, and of character, so do not beat yourself up over it now you have succeeded.” She told them, knowing that they probably would, but it was best they knew her opinion.

Chara sighed sadly, leaning against their mother, letting out a deep breath, “ _So you don’t have a problem with me killing literally everyone you care about?_ ” They asked, confused.

Toriel laughed a gentle laugh, “No, my child; not only because you went back to make things right, but also because you clearly still regret it, even after you have.” She let the poor thing lean on her a bit, “If you were a bad person, then you wouldn’t have done either of those things, and you made a promise not to think that of yourself anyway.”

Chara didn’t say anything else. They just leaned against their mother and listened to the gentle rustle of the flowers in the breeze. This, approval from their mother, even when she knew what had happened, was what they needed, probably deserved, and were grateful for; this was what kept them in here rather than trying to escape through any means necessary.

Looking at the flowers as they rustled before them, Chara smiled a gentle, fulfilled smiled, letting the pain that had been in their heart from the start release just a tiny bit.

This; the _DETERMINATION_ of their family and friends to push through all their problems, to honour this child’s dying wish, was what had made it all worth the effort.


	11. Chapter 7: Not even punny.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woot! You made it to part 2!  
> (Can you guess from the name what part 2 is going to be about? I can!)

Part 2: Skeleton Key

Chapter 7: Not even punny.

The cold air in Snowdin Forest was somewhat refreshing. Only somewhat, knowing that the last time you were here you literally killed every other living thing you came across, but it was still enough to distract Chara from what would otherwise have been a torrent of inwards directed frustration, anger and self-loathing, which was probably a good thing, given that they didn’t exactly want to break their promise within two minutes and three hundred meters of making it.

As Chara was walking, they could have sworn they heard a snap over their own crunching in the snow. They turned around, but there was nothing there. After a few moments they decided it was just their imagination, and began to wonder how much else of this run could have been ‘just their imagination’, if perhaps they hadn’t actually spared anyone at all…

No, they wouldn’t let themselves go over that precipice, not in a hundred million years, because, if they did, there wouldn’t exactly be any coming back from the wall of grief, depression, and madness that would hit them in the time from then onwards.

There was a second set of footsteps as they passed between two trees. They caught sight of a hooded figure out of the corner of their eye, and their heart raced just a little bit faster, because that could only mean one thing, and… if he didn’t trust them… Well, he could screw this all up really, really easily.

When they got to the bridge gate, the sound of the footsteps grew loud enough to cause them to stop in their tracks. Waiting anxiously as the footsteps grew closer, rose in volume, and then stopped altogether.

“ **DON’T YOU KNOW HOW TO GREET A NEW PAL?** ”

Chara couldn’t help but smile a little. Sans had gotten even better at making his voice scary and not-very-kid-friendly-at-all, apparently. At least, it appeared that way. They were considering turning around early just to throw him off, but decided against it, because that would probably be quite rude of them.

“ **TURN AROUND AND SHAKE MY HAND.** ”

Taking his hand, Chara held back a laugh as the whoopee-cushion quite literally exploded into the air around them.

They had known it was going to happen, but anyone who is close to Toriel Dreemurr develops a liking for comedy, pranks, and all manner of bad jokes really, really quickly.

There was a moment of silence, before the figure, now illuminated in the half-light to in fact be the smiling skeleton Sans, spoke.

“heh, the whoopee cushion in the hand trick, works every time.”

Chara looked away to hide the fact that they were smiling. They really, really didn’t want him to see that, because then he’d be doing better when it came to comedy. They turned back to face him, “ _Lemme guess, you’re now gonna tell me to walk through this gate-thingy and stand somewhere comedic while you and somebody else tell a whole **ton** of slapstick jokes, a **skele-ton** of them._ ”

Sans smiled broadened just a little and he gave Chara an apologetic shrug that quite literally said “maybe” in every sense of the word. Clearly he was using the time to come up with a punchline he could use to mitigate theirs, after all, if there was one thing Sans did care about, it was comedy, and no matter what happened, he was NOT going to be out-punned by a kid, let alone a murderer.

“as **knife** as that sounds, i’m a- **blade** not, i’m gonna force you to stand somewhere comedic while i talk to my bro ‘bout how i’ve totally been workin myself, down to the **bone**.”

Chara sighed sadly, “ _So you remember?_ ” They asked, and then sighed, tone now serious, “ _I’ll do as you ask this time around. Maybe that way nobody’ll get hurt._ ”

Sans’ smile fell a little shorter than usual as he forced them through the gate and watched as, obediently, which was as much a surprise as a problem, they moved straight behind the _conveniently-shaped-lamp_ that totally hadn’t been set up in anticipation for such an event.

Just as he was considering approaching the human and warning them about the many, many ways that he’d hurt them if they so much as laid a finger on his brother, the battle-bodied fiend himself showed right up. If this kid thought they could simply just walk right up and make friends as if the last run hadn’t happened, he would prove them wrong in so, so many ways.

“BROTHER, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?”

Sans smiled, leaning back into a much more relaxed posture, watching a figurative kettle boil inside both the brain of his brother, and the human who he had positioned behind the lamp.

“sup bro.”

The long fuse in Papyrus’s head literally blew right out. Papyrus was a royal guard; he needed a long fuse in order to maintain a calm and helpful guise under any situation, but Sans always seemed to know exactly what buttons to press to make it explode.

“SANS, SHOULDN’T YOU BE ON PATROL RIGHT NOW?”

Sans looked at his brother, who was barely concealing his irritation, in a way that could be defined as ‘ _not exactly thoroughly understanding where you’re going here_ ’.

“i am on patrol.”

Now Papyrus practically exploded. Was Sans serious? This was not ‘on patrol’ in any shape or form, all he was doing was sitting around, like that precocious mutt!

“BUT WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES?! YOU’RE USELESS SANS! ALL YOU EVER DO IS SIT AROUND AN BOONDOGGLE!”

Sans decided not to acknowledge the unintentional pun relating to the dog that Papyrus had been harassed by over the past few weeks. He caught sight of the human, who seemed to be planning to do something, but it worried him, what were they going to do?

“bro, i got a skele- **ton** of work done today; i’m workin real hard patrolin this spot right here, in fact, you could say i’m workin myself **_down to the bone_**.”

There was a literal explosion from Papyrus, who looked like he was going to rush over and choke his brother right then and there, but somehow seemed to be able to just about hold his patience.

“SANS!!!!!!! I DETEST YOUR PUNS AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU HAVEN’T EVEN RECALIBRATED YOUR PUZZLES!”

Sans just remained silent, putting on that face of ‘ _looking off into the distance without really too much of a care_ in the world’ as his brother started to monologue about the usual stuff, the dream he had about how if he caught a human, he’d finally be able to join the royal guard.

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS SHALL BATHE IN A SHOWER OF KISSES EVERY MORNING. I’LL MEET THOSE WHO WANT TO BE MY ‘FRIEND’. I’LL BE POPULAR! POPULAR!!! POPULAR!!!!!”

Sans resisted the urge to make some kind of slapstick pun as his brother went on and on, already far, far self-absorbed in his monologue about fame and fortune, how he was ‘ _destined for greatness_ ’. Sans sighed, wasn’t his brother so cool? He waited, resisting the urge to nod off, when the human leapt out in front of him.

Chara smiled, facing Papyrus and taking a step forward, arms wide, “ _I see how much you want to capture a human, so how about I **throw** **you a** **bone**._ ” They threw Sans a playful wink in a way that really made him anxious. This kind of wink wouldn’t normally worry him, except it was coming from the person who had literally killed every single person he cared about last time around. “ _I’m human; your brother caught me while he was **spine** around here…_ ” They noticed the anxiety on Sans face, so kept going, “ _So let’s do the things you were going to do… maybe you’ll think of a **femur** , or…_” A smile spread across their face as what was left of Papyrus resolve literally cracked away in an instant, “ _Maybe we’ll even be friends… then you won’t be so **bonely**._ ” They added, making sure to watch the show as Papyrus.exe stopped working from the sheer overload of terrible skeleton jokes.

Papyrus took a good minute to regain his composure. Not only was this human into awful skeleton puns, but something about their puns even seemed to unsettle Sans, which was something Papyrus had literally never seen before.

“WELL SANS, THAT SOLVES SOME THINGS, BUT AS FOR YOUR PATROL… PUT A LITTLE MORE ‘ **BACKBONE** ’ INTO IT!”

Chara watched as the skeleton laughed hysterically at such a volume that he seemed to fail to spot the tumbleweed that blew by; rule number one of comedy, don’t laugh at your own jokes. They sighed sadly, Papyrus was really quite cute, when it came down to it…

Once the future royal guardsman had left, Sans turned to face Chara, whose smile now slowly shrank until it was no longer there. They laughed a little, “ _I guess I couldn’t resist myself… I always was a fan of puns._ ”

There was one thing Sans couldn’t figure out, and it troubled him. This kid seemed nice enough, they had a sense of humour, in fact, he’d even say they were **humerus** but, if they were, then why did they do what they did last time? If they were a reasonable human being, then **_why’d they kill his brother_**?

He sighed, they’d keep an eye-socket on this kid, because they surely must be intending to torture him in some unexpected, painful way. Then, just as they were about to leave, he stopped them.

“ok, kid, i’m gonna cut ya some slack here and give ya a chance rather than just killing you on the spot for the last time around, but if you so much as gain an EXP or lay a finger on my bro, then i’ll make sure to pay it all back in the worst and most painful way i can.”

There was a moment of silence. Chara gave him a nod of agreement, there was an apologetic look in their eyes; it almost made him think they regretted it…

“see ya up ahead kid.”

Sans walked off to the left, taking one of his crazy, nonsensical ‘shortcuts’ to get to the room before them.

That was yet another thing Chara was grateful for as they sat down on the bare snow and held their head in their hands. It had gone better than expected, but they just wished, wished that they could have done that the last time around.

They wished that they could have seen it, but by then, they were too busy dealing with their own problems to even notice. After all, the third party had just forced them to kill their own mother, despite their begging. They were too busy crying as they were dragged along behind to laugh at his jokes, or even notice when Sans told them to go and hide. They… they really wished they had been able to, but they couldn’t find the energy, the will to respond.

When they finally climbed to their feet, the snow didn’t melt immediately, but instead stuck to their behind, causing it to not only get wet as it slowly turned to water, but also to get really, really cold.

They decided that perhaps they could replace warmth with food, so inspected the inside of Sans ‘sentry station’, what was, now that they looked at it, nothing more than a glorified hot dog stand. They sighed, taking a hot dog and dropping it into one of the buns, putting a thin veil of ketchup on it. Then they focused.

When they were with the Dreemurrs, they’d learned how to use fire magic for cooking, only a few lessons on the subject from Toriel, who seemed to hope that perhaps Chara might become the only other member of the family who could actually cook something edible… _Well,_ _they proved her wrong on that one, didn’t they_ , they reminded themselves, feeling that wall they’d put together with the comedy crumble and crack, then shatter into a thousand pieces as the tears ran down their face.

Every single thing they did, it always went wrong in some way, shape or form. They’d tried to break the barrier, by far their most spectacular of failures, not only killing two royal children in one day, but also splitting the royal couple and draining the underground of every ounce of hope it had, not to mention how Asriel had been trapped in a flower, and they’d been tethered to a human while a third party forced them to kill every single monster in the underground as a consequence.

Chara mumbled a curse under their breath as the ‘hot dog’ only got colder in the freezing air. At this rate, the only thing they’d be cooking would be every single ounce of hope they had, which they were really **burning through** at a rate well above what they could have hoped for.

The pun didn’t even help either, it just made them feel helpless, weak. They were going to break that promise, weren’t they? After all, it was them who had destroyed everyone’s hopes, and them who had then walked through here and killed everyone. Maybe Sans was right, maybe they were a murderer. One thing was certain in their mind, they didn’t deserve the second chance he was giving them.

Chara pressed their head against their palms and their palms against the stand, not even noticing Sans when he returned. They trembled with anxious tears as the image of Papyrus, so naïve, thinking that the killer was offering him a hug of acceptance, as he just stood there, their hand as it had lifted the knife up, no matter how hard they tried to pull it back, and slammed down with a force great enough to kill him instantly.

Sans placed a bony hand against their shoulder, a gentle touch that, despite his efforts, only seemed to make their crying worse, and soon he realised why.

The image just kept on playing, over and over again and it wouldn’t stop. They couldn’t stop that movie projector in their head as it played out that pain over and over, causing their heart to ache in their chest and their eyes to leak tears uncontrollably. They acknowledged Sans to their left and spoke with staggered breathing and a voice that was broken, as well as silenced, by a lump in the back of their throat “ _I- I killed him, I… I can’t believe I hurt him when he was… when he thought I- He was so defenceless, so naïve, he asked if I was… offering a hug…_ ”

Chara felt an ache in their chest as they said the last words, an ache that turned into full blown pain as they continued, “ _He- He didn’t even run away when I approached, he didn’t even…_ **_He didn’t flinch when they took control again and cut him down._** ”

Sans looked at the station, the partially made hot dog, and the wet patch on the kids rear end. He came up with two narratives – either the kid had sat down on the snow, gotten cold and tried to make something to warm themselves up, only to fail and start to question how many other times in their life they’d been a failure, or the kid had been making a hot dog and peed themselves. He had to admit, the latter was a much more amusing idea; that the demon-child had a loose bladder, just it cracked him up.

Chara sighed, both shivering and shuddering as tears forced their way out their eyes, they slowed their breathing and cleared their mind, they used the anger they had towards the third party, for tricking them into getting close enough to kill papyrus, as an anchor, feeling the warmth in their hands as the magic began to form. They imagined using it to hurt the third one, repay them every single ounce of pain they’d caused… Then, they released, letting themselves gasp as the pain of all that anger as it turned on them, as it reminded them that it was all their fault for all that pain in the first place, as it repeated back to them that THEY had enjoyed it once they got to waterfall, and that they should stop pretending it wasn’t in their nature.

Sans was almost taken aback, seeing the child use magic – a human using magic. There was only one human child who had ever been in the presence of monsters long enough to have learnt magic. If it was them, it’d sure explain a lot of things, including why they seemed so torn up…

They extended a hand to the now edible hot dog, biting into it as hard as they could and trying to imagine the taste of chocolate, instead of water sausage, in a desperate effort to shut up those voices, the ones that kept telling them how much of a screw up they were. How they, deep down, were a demon, no matter how hard they tried to deny it. After what they had done, to their family, to their friends, to people they didn’t even know; harmless people like Papyrus. It was the only real conclusion.

A voice rang out from behind them, a familiar voice, and knowing that he had seen all that, it made them want to cry even more.

“so uh, kid, i’m afraid you’re gonna have to pay for that... i mean, i ain’t givin this stuff away for free y’know.”

Chara sighed sadly, holding out some GOLD, quite probably more than it cost, but they didn’t care. After what they’d done to his brother, it wasn’t exactly like they deserved better. When he didn’t even take it, they took on an earthly tone, one that was more in frustration at their own actions than him, but the vented anger rose to the surface anyway. **_“Take it.”_**

Sans looked at the pile of GOLD in their hand, the kid was generous. That was about twenty five pieces, when the cost of a _Hot Dog (?)_ was ten at most… It was at that moment that Sans began to realise that they were frustrated at themselves, and also bargaining in an attempt to pay him enough money to make up for what they’d done.

“ok. but uh, just so you understand, my bro’s priceless to me, so don’t think this makes everything alright.”

Chara sighed sadly, “ _I didn’t think it would, but it’s the most I could do…_ ” They sat down beside him, trying to hold back the tears and the frustration, attempting, desperately to block out the voices and stop the images with the plant-in-a-bun. They looked at the floor when none of the above was affected and exhaled a melancholic, staggered breath, “ _When… if I get to your station waterfall, can we go to Grillbys or something._ ” They looked the keeper of the final corridor in the eyes, hoping that he’d at least reply.

There was no response, so Chara climbed to their feet, realising that in such a short time, they’d already finished the hot dog. It worried them just a little.

Sans watched as they headed off towards where Papyrus was heading and furrowed his brow in thought. Was the kid telling the truth or manipulating him? If they were who he thought they were, then they had always been good at acting, so it was hard to tell what was real or play-pretend. And besides, could he bare to sit next to the person who killed his brother, and somehow pretend that nothing had even happened?

No, he couldn’t do that. He wouldn’t be eating out with them at any point.

As Chara began to feel the cold, empty air as it invaded their body once more, they watched Papyrus die one last time. They _had to_ make things right, no matter how hard it was. But doing it would definitely require _DETERMINATION_.


	12. Chapter 8: Hate to love, love to hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yup, this part's mostly going to focus on a certain smiling skeleton!  
> (He's probably feeling **_bone-tired_** right about now, but I need to update this chapter, so... sorry Sans!)

Chapter 8: Hate to love, love to hate

The crunch of the fresh snow was a familiar feeling of both love and hatred. Love for the fun that snow brings with the holiday season; the snowball fights, the disruption to everything that was orderly and organised, but hatred for the cold that made them feel little more than numb inside as it grasped tightly around their heart and refused to let go.

There were other things to be loved and hated at the same time, such as the fishing rod that had been set out as a literal pickup line in a flailing attempt to find a mate… Something that Chara honestly let out a pitiful laugh at – it was cute how little this monster understood the concept of dating, but it also made them hate themselves; they had just laughed at a monster who was doing better dealing with the challenges of life than they were. And was it not they, who was out here, freezing cold? Was it not they who had not only let the third party gain control, but started to enjoy the show as it went on? Was it not they who had manipulated their brother into getting them both killed?

Chara sighed, letting that inwards-directed frustration – that self-loathing, letting it tear them apart on the inside. It was what they deserved, after all. And still, it was them who could do the most damage.

That was how they had always been with things like that, with burdens… They had always had insecurities and frustrations, and it was part of their nature, it always had been, to spend every moment silently suffering as they let self-loathing and inwards-directed hatred tear them apart.

Maybe that was why they’d let the third party in, because they were angry at themselves and had to release it somehow, before it hurt too much to bear… Why they’d started to enjoy hurting everyone, because, if only just for a moment, it made the pain go away…

Every time, it got slightly easier, slightly less relieving, and it made them have to kill more and more often in order to keep their own inner demons locked up inside.

For a moment, Chara considered attaching the line to part of them, perhaps their clothes or their ankle, and dropping themselves into the ice cold water, letting it remove every last bit of life from their body. Nobody would ever have to know about it, and besides, the world would be better off without them.

They sighed sadly, putting one of their problems on the end of the line, they threw it out. That problem, that pain could now perhaps be inherited by somebody else, somebody who might better understand it, who might be able to live with it, definitely far, far better than Chara.

They hoped that somebody would pull up that line and maybe understand a little better the pain that was literally tearing them apart from the inside right now.

Just as they were turning to go, they caught sight of a young monster, a Drake with patterning that made them look like a snowflake. Chara vaguely remembered the last time, when they’d laughed at him, heckled him a couple of times, and then the third one had got bored and lashed out, killing him in an instant.

The monster smiled a little, “I’m fighting you in **‘cold’** blood.” He joked, laughing at his own bad joke in a way that made what could have just barely raised a laugh or two, into a literal disaster. The monster, which Chara soon decided to refer to as _Snowdrake_ didn’t seem very confident at all, it was like it had stage fright.

Chara could empathise with that; every single thing they’d said when they were alive had been a performance; and it had been scary, at first, but then it got easier each time you did it. Chara couldn’t block out the retort of ‘ _like another thing you did last time around_ ’ before it hit them and started a long line of internal screaming that only seemed to say ‘ _what have I done?_ ’ over and over again.

Chara laughed a little, self-piteous laugh. One which the comedian seemed to take as enjoyment of his _awful_ puns, so he spat out another,  “Macaroni and **‘freeze’** ”

Chara couldn’t help but laugh with uncontrolled despair at the absolute failure of the monster’s pun – if it could even be called that without a context. They had heckled him last time and for the first time, something they’d done during that ‘run’ might have been correct. It hurt, but it was actually quite funny.

“See... **Laughs**! **Dad** was **wrong**!” Snowdrake remarked – his hopes were up; it was as if he thought he was going to be some big-shot, world famous comedian one day. Something that sadly, didn’t seem to be the case…

Chara caught their breath, finally stopping the torrent of anguished laughter. They soon figured out who the teenage comedian was. He was just like his father had been when they were alive. Chara sighed sadly, “ _It was **ice** to meet you ‘n all, but it’s **snow** joke when I tell you your **cold** man was just like you when he was a kid. He’s a fool to tell you otherwise._ ”

Snowdrake let out a really faint laugh. It wasn’t that he found the puns cool. It was that, well… “You don’t look 100 years old.” He remarked, giving them a confused look.

Chara just barely smiled a fake smile, hiding behind it the anguish they carried over from every single thing they’d done wrong. Yet another thing to hate, “ _Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving._ ” They turned and left, hiding the pain on their face as the comedian was left there, literally frozen to the spot in surprise. He probably didn’t move for another half hour, given that they didn’t see him again whatsoever.

Sans and Papyrus were in the next room. Papyrus seemed to be caught completely off guard by their arrival. He and Sans were the middle of talking about Undyne. She was the hero of the underground, so it wouldn’t exactly surprise Chara if he had a one-way crush on her. Most monsters probably did…

“HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL NOT LET YOU PASS THIS AREA!”

Papyrus seemed to be a little more driven than usual, it was worrying, given his usual drive was already too much. It made Chara wonder if he knew about what they had done last time around… If he did, then they weren’t sure if they could live with themselves, being hated by someone so good and pure…

“I WILL STOP YOU! I WILL CAPTURE YOU!”

Papyrus seemed to be making a political statement rather than a plan, it was like he didn’t even doubt that he would be able to capture them whatsoever. As if he knew he could, and would.

“YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL, THEN… THEN!!!”

Chara sighed sadly as they watched his face fall, his dream starting to break into little tiny pieces, like so many others had on the day when they and Asriel had crossed the barrier. He really hadn’t thought this one through had he?

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT COMES NEXT.”

Though Papyrus face fell for a moment, he soon picked himself back up, something that Chara wished they had a whole load more of – optimism. If they had any, then nobody would be in this stupid mess in the first place, and the royal family would still be together.

“PROCEED ONLY IF YOU DARE. NYEH HEH HEH!!!”

Of course the skeleton ran off without even considering that Chara could have walked through the trees or taken another route to Snowdin, such as following the river, if they truly wanted to.

Once Sans was certain his brother was gone, his eye sockets blacked out entirely. He spoke in a threatening, serious tone to Chara. They had known this was coming, and fought against the urge to apologise, to cry, or to beg forgiveness. Sans wanted them to hurt in every way possible. That much was obvious. And one thing they could see; was that he was going to tell his brother, he was going to tell many people, in an effort to turn them against Chara, to make it so that every moment of being alive hurt the same way it had for him the last time around.

“my bro thinks you’re a good person. i haven’t told him the truth yet, but when i do... it’ll break his poor heart.”

Sans walked away, vanishing into another one of his absurd _shortcuts_ , leaving Chara to decide how to respond. After what they’d done the last time round, they couldn’t say they blamed him, even if he might have been taking things a little bit too far… They had killed every single thing he loved, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise how much he hated them.

Chara decided to spare Papyrus’ cardboard box of a sentry station from any further scrutiny when a voice from somewhere behind them yelled out. “Isn’t my hat beautiful?”

Chara felt a familiar cold feeling inside as their soul exited into the winter air. They tore their eyes away from the horrific, ugly Mohican of ice that sat on the head of the teen before them. Chara instead looked at the cardboard box sentry station, which, though in the opposite direction, was a much better sight than that awful hat.

The teen, enraged by the obvious and blatant attempt to look away, yelled out with much frustration, “Hello, my hat is over here NUMBSKULL!”

The teen then rammed the hat in the direction of Chara’s soul, something they narrowly avoided by leaning back in one of the gaps. As the hat was then carefully readjusted in a left-right fashion, Chara dropped down and carefully navigated through the maze of spines and spindles. They felt a slight aching numbness as their soul grazed against the sides, but it made no difference.

Chara looked away, this time directing their attention to the space where Sans had been. His footprints just seemed to stop after a short while. It was surprising really. They couldn’t help but imagine the fuse inside the narcissistic teen’s head as it got closer and closer to blowing.

Thrusting the hat into the light to make sure it was visible, Ice Cap seemed to falter, soon recovering their composure to speak again, “Do you need a CLOSER LOOK?”

Chara leapt aside as a carefully constructed magical version of the awful hat was shot at them from a distance. The magical hat was soon pulled back again by an unknown force, causing Chara to leap aside, narrowly slipping past another deadly piece of headgear, falling out the way of another as they lost traction on the slippery floor beneath them, and scrambling back up to their feet in time to sidestep the rest of the predictable pattern with little difficulty whatsoever.

They gave the place where Sans seemed to have just… vanished, another glance as the disgruntled teen moved in front of them again, giving them a frustrated glare before finally checking to see what could possibly be more interesting than their lovely hat.

Smiling, Chara made a grab for it, successfully removing it from the teen’s head; they watched the abominable headgear as it melted in their hands.

The teen, now utterly defeated, melted down into a block of ice. Chara complimented them on their, admittedly, much-improved appearance, and then left them to pick up the pieces of their hat. But then, they stopped.

This was the same teen they’d attacked again and again the last time around, the same teen that had started to melt, clutching onto its hat like it was the only thing it had left to hold onto as they attacked it over and over. That memory made their heart ache to the point where they turned back for a moment, stopping to ask Ice’s name, to apologize for destroying a fashion item that it had clearly held very, very dearly indeed.

The next room had Doggo, who had approached them tentatively and with fear the last time around, who had whimpered as they had hurt him, but moved right out with little hesitation this time when he saw them move on past.

Chara petted him over and over in an effort to make up for it, but they knew at heart that all they were doing was hiding the evidence and erasing the pain. All they were doing was pretending that they hadn’t gone through here and killed everything, pretending that Sans shouldn’t have his brother, and everyone else make their life hell. Pretending that it wasn’t all their fault.

In the room with the large ice patch, there was oddly, no sign of Sans. Something which made their skin crawl, and yet their breathing slow down, they knew that, if he was there, they would have gone back into that whole self-loathing crevasse, the one where they kept on seeing Papyrus’s death over and over. It was probably for the best that he wasn’t here, that he didn’t see them like… like this.

Chara took a seat in the corner of the room and felt the patch of bare exposed skin where the locket had once been. Another thing that was their fault… Another thing they were solely responsible for. Another thing that they’d do anything, anything to reset, but they couldn’t. What they had done to Asriel was permanent. They only had control over the time from when Frisk fell into the underground, and it really, really hurt, knowing that there was no way for them to get back their best friend, and no way for them to get a happy ending.

Some people, people like them, didn’t _deserve_ happy endings.

Chara sighed, they just wanted Sans to just come, show up, strike them down, but he didn’t. The place remained as silent, as empty as ever. He knew about their ability to reset. He knew that killing them would do absolutely nothing, so he was going to make their living existence hell, by making every other person that they would, could, or might care about, hate them as much as he did.

Pushing against the ground, ignoring the pain of the cold snow against what had been warm hands, Chara walked past the ice into the room to the north, where the snowman waited.

Chara sighed sadly, looking at the snowman who had begged them to stop taking pieces of him with them as he shrank into a useless puddle of snow. The wind flew by between them as the snowman stood there, silently judging Chara for their actions. Chara knew the feeling of judgement well enough to be tempted to ram their face against the nearest tree. At least that way the snowman would get what he deserved – revenge.

The snowman seemed to sense Chara’s disdain, and spoke up, “I am a Snowman. I want to see the world, but I cannot move.” The snowman seemed to look them up and down, even though his head didn’t move an inch. “If you would be so kind to take a piece of me to the ends of the earth…”

There was a moment of silence, it was as if it was waiting for a reply to continue, “I imagine you believe you are incapable of such a task, but I can assure you that you are a good enough person to take a piece of me.”

Chara sighed sadly, “ _If you knew what I’d done, you’d change your mind on the subject._ ” Then continued looking at the ground and hoping that the snowman might finally look away.

“We snowmen see into the soul, we recognise all that a being has and will do. From what I have seen in your soul, I can inform you that you are indeed worthy of a piece of me, and that such an item will prove vital on your quest.”

Chara thought for a moment, monster’s bodies were made of pure magic, but all monsters could at least move. They could not imagine the origin of the snowman, but whatever it would be, it was clear it wanted them to take a piece of it. So, reluctantly, they extended a hand and removed a piece of snow. Once they had, they turned, head hung low, and left.

As Chara entered the next room, they heard the end of a conversation.

“YOU’RE SO LAZY SANS!!! YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT!”

Was Papyrus only now noticing that his brother was a Lazy slob? Had it really took all of that time for him to see the truth that was before his eyes? _But napping all night; wasn’t that…_

“i think that’s called... sleeping.”

 _Precisely!_ Chara couldn’t help but let out a chuckle, did Papyrus not know what sleeping was? How could he not? Surely he must do it himself. Chara had a creeping suspicion this had been set up by Sans, who would have seen them coming long before Papyrus did, to change the topic after talking about something less preferable, such as how they had killed him the last time round.

Papyrus continued by explaining fully that he had made a bunch of puzzles, because that’s totally what you do when you’re going to capture someone, you make a bunch of fun puzzles for them to solve, right?

The first one, an electricity maze, might have required Chara to make use of their magic, had papyrus not been so stupid as to zap himself, then reveal the path by walking on what had, before then, been fresh snow.

Once Papyrus left, there was a moment of silence, where sans just, sorta stood there. He didn’t say anything, but seemed to be deep in thought about something. Moments later, he turned and left in the wrong direction, though he was almost certain to show up ahead due to one of his ‘ _shortcuts_ ’.

The nice cream guy looked completely bewildered that his frozen treats weren’t actually selling. Chara had a feeling they wouldn’t be very useful. They only _really_ worked on people who were nice, after all, and if there was one certainty, it was that Chara was not, in any way, shape, or form, a nice person. So they decided to pass on the offer.

Sans was not in his normal spot with the fried snow, and the path to the right, Chara already knew was a dead end. They pushed the snowball down to the hole and weren’t even rewarded any G when a black flag rose up.

Chara took a seat opposite the flag and sighed sadly. They’d never seen that flag before, but it didn’t take too much to guess that it meant that they were the _real_ monster, the one who had killed everything. They deserved it too. It was, after all, them who had struck down Papyrus, them who had killed everything in the ruins, them who had killed their own father and brother without any real hesitation. Everyone who had died had died to their hand, and it was a fact that was very, very hard to make peace with.

As Chara thought things couldn’t get any worse, they walked into the area where there would normally be a word search or something of a similar calibre lying on the ground. Instead, there was just Papyrus, stood there in a way that made him look like he was deep in thought, and no sign of Sans at all. They took a step forward, their legs weighing them down as if they were made of lead, such was the anxiety.

Papyrus seemed to sense that they were there, and he let out a long, exasperated sigh.

“HUMAN.”

Chara took another step forward, if it could even be called a step, they barely moved an inch as they felt the pain in their chest, as they watched the last time he had greeted them with that look, how he was asking if they were offering him a hug. How they had tried to get him out of the way, but the blizzard made it impossible for him to see the pain in their eyes as the third party had took control.

“I DON’T KNOW WHY, BUT MY BROTHER, HE TELLS ME HE THINKS YOU ARE A BAD PERSON.”

Chara sighed sadly, Sans was right about them too. They were a bad person. It was their hand that had come down on Papyrus, sure the third party was in control, but some part of them, some part of them must have really hated him to do that much damage; there wasn’t any other alternative suggestion…

“HUMAN, CAN YOU TELL ME THAT HE IS NOT CORRECT?”

Chara looked down at the ground, feeling tears well up behind their eyes. Monsters were affected by ones intent to hurt them, to cause them pain. If there was no intention to inflict a wound, then a wound would not be inflicted. If there was no intention to kill, then the monster may well walk away unscathed.

So, for them to kill Papyrus, Sans, members of their family, in one hit… That must have meant that, deep down, some part of them, some horrid part of them must have wanted those people, people who _loved_ them, to die. Because of that, they deserved every single ounce of hatred Sans could throw their way. Because of that, they didn’t even deserve to be here…

“HUMAN?”

Legs going from hard and heavy like lead to weak and unstable like jelly in an instant, Chara willed themselves on, forced themselves to stay stood up as their body shook, as the tears forced their way through their eyes. Their hand clasped around the stick.

If- If they were such a bad person, it was no use pretending to be good and kind. It was useless acting like the last run had never happened, and it was no use sparing the monsters that stood before them, Then…

Chara clasped the stick in the familiar way, watching Papyrus’ expression as he defensively lifted his hands, as he stepped back, fear emerging from every pore in his body. This was exactly how he had been the last time, but even then, he had offered mercy and acceptance, even then he had extended his arms to give them a hug… even then…

“HUMAN, A-ARE YOU OFFERING A HUG OF ACCEPTANCE?”

They felt their sins crawling on their back. They felt Sans as he reminded them how they were guaranteed to break his brother’s heart. Chara sighed sadly, taking in a deep breath and preparing for the onslaught that would be sent their way by the voices within. They swung the stick.

*          *          *

Chara walked into the area where the spaghetti was. It was frozen cold and stuck to the table. They walked straight past it, propping their back up wall at the back of the room, they held their head in their hands and shuddered, every single tear escaping their eyes with understandable reluctance. The tears might as well have been acid. The lump in their throat felt like it was the size of a golf ball, and their muscles felt weak, in pain.

Chara closed their eyes and tried to block out the image of how Papyrus had died, telling him how he believed in them, that, they could do better, no matter what, even if they didn’t think so… He promised them they could. It flashed in front of their eyes, over and over again.

 _Determination_.


	13. Intermission 3: Promise me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Papyrus!!! *cries*
> 
> (Please don't kill me faithful readers, he was just way too happy for the dark tone of the story)
> 
> Anyway, while reading this chapter, I have a suggestion that you listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vg96Q32rVw) amazing remix of Bonetrousle by [ChrystalChameleon](https://www.youtube.com/user/ChrystalChameleon)

Intermission 3: Promise me.

Pressing his back to the door, the door through which the demon that had made his life a living hell last time, that had killed his brother and then waited until the last corridor to finally let him die, would emerge.

He sighed sadly, cracking one last joke through the door in a desperate effort to cheer himself up. An effort that he soon found had failed. He felt the cold wind on his ribs, the snow against his tailbone and his femurs. He knew what was coming next.

The voice on the other side of the door sighed sadly with a shaky breath, with a fear in its voice like no other he’d ever heard, not even the many hundreds of timelines before. It spoke.

“Please, Sans, If a human... If a human ever comes here, promise me you’ll look after them, protect them... keep them safe...”

Sans sighed sadly. This was one promise he knew he’d have to break. One promise he knew he just… couldn’t keep. Not after what they’d done last time. He couldn’t care for someone if that happened. He’d always told his brother that the time when he stopped caring would be the time that everything would fall apart. He smiled a little sad, tragic smile. Well, he couldn’t afford to care about them anymore, not after what they had done when he did.

Sans exhaled a deep breath, hoping to the heavens above that this lovely lady never found out, would never know that he was going to have to break the promise she wanted him to make.

“Promise me Sans.”

Sans took a deep breath in. How many promises had that… hellspawn broken in their time? Surely they must have broken so, so many promises by killing absolutely everyone. Surely someone like them couldn’t keep a promise whatsoever; surely someone who killed everyone without a hesitation, without a remorse; couldn’t keep their word.

“whatever ya say lady. y’know i don’t like promises though.”

Sans let out a deep, saddened sigh, he felt a deep pain in her chest. The child on the other side of the door, the woman must really, really care about ‘em…

He couldn’t afford to let them go though; he couldn’t afford to let them past… He couldn’t afford to let his brother die again. So he knew that he was going to break this promise. The moment they were alone, no matter what they’d done, no matter how kind they’d been, he would break that promise. He would go back on his hollow words.

“but i’ll keep one, just for you.”

The voice on the other side of the door laughed a relieved, gentle, motherly laugh as Sans slumped just a little closer to the ground, closer to the material that he felt like for breaking a promise before he’d even made it.

*          *          *

Chara sighed sadly, dropping the stick to the ground with a clatter as Papyrus stood there, he was still smiling as he slowly melted away, slowly turned to dust before their eyes. As it took his legs first, Papyrus gave them a kindred smile.

“I BELIEVE IN YOU HUMAN.”

There was a silence as the wind swept the air between them, moving away just a little more of the dust, taking it away.

“I KNOW YOU CAN DO BETTER… EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO…”

Chara felt the pain, the numbness in their chest all over again as Papyrus body vanished altogether and his head dropped to the ground, rolling slowly, gently down the incline to stop at their foot.

“I… I PROMISE.”

Chara averted their eyes as his scarf flapped there in the wind. Feeling the aching in their chest as they felt the pain of every single person they had killed last time round running through them. They fell to their knees next to the pile of dust, picking the stick back up from where it lay next to them, they held it in front of them as a familiar shadow with a flashing blue eye stood behind them.

The eye flashed as two blasters moved across in front of them, but then there was a brief silence.

“heya kid. i see you’ve been busy trying to befriend my bro. now i get it, you think you did that. nah, you just did a measly one damage. but kid, after what you did last time, he might as well be dead, if ya know what i mean.”

The blasters refused to go off as Chara saw the bone in the ground where Papyrus had been and felt a deep anguish roaring through their chest, a pain like no other they’d ever felt before now. A pain that made them want to rip their heart out of their chest. They gasped for air. **“You… you did this to your own brother, just to make me hurt?”**

A cage of bones popped up, trapping them in as the skeleton moved around in front of them. He smiled a hurtful smile.

“hurts, doesn’t it? seeing someone you care about die, replaying the moment over and over, knowing that if you just... if you just did it all little differently, maybe they’d still be with you now.”

Sans spread his arms wide as the blasters hovered round into the open. He moved in just a little closer, watching the demon who had tortured him as they knelt, tears running down their face, helpless.

“now i made a promise a while back to protect you, to make sure you made it outta here okay.”

Chara tried to use the stick on Sans, only for him to dodge out of the way, as usual. They felt their heart pounding in their chest, they felt hollow inside as he looked at them again.

“i tried hurtin ya. it didn’t work out, and pap, he was gonna tell everyone you were a good person. so now i’m gonna make you pay.”

A deep pain ran through Chara’s chest as Sans moved right up to the bones, his eye burning as bright as ever, his blasters focused on all sides, but none of them willing to fire.

“i’m gonna make you pay for every last thing you’ve done. and i’m gonna start by taking away your happy ending, and make you hurt inside until there’s literally nothing left. i’m gonna take away everyone you love just like you did to me, until there’s nothing left inside but pain and anger.”

The smile on Sans’ face grew wider as he watched their face boil up in anger, as he watched the frustration and anguish as it grew in their eyes. As he watched the fruits of his labour.

“sound familiar? t’s what ya did to me. so you understand, when there’s pain roaring through you, regret in every muscle you have. when you just want to go back… remember what you did to me last time round. Remember that this is **all your fault.** ”

As the blasters receeded, shortly followed by the bones, Chara watched, helpless, unable to move for the pain that ripped through their body, as Sans vanished into the fog.

They lay down against cold snow, pressing their face against the cape, letting it absorb their tears as they gasped for breath. Chara felt the pain as it roared through them, as the only thing they could say, they said.

“ _Papyrus, I… I’m so sorry._ ”

They lay there, shuddering in the cold for a good five minutes, feeling the anguish as it ripped through their heart, feeling the earth-shattering sadness as they felt the sensation of his warm smile. You wouldn’t think a smile could have a feeling attached, but for Papyrus, it somehow did. And now it was gone.

When Chara pulled themselves to their feet, every last piece of Papyrus had blown away, every single thing they knew him by was gone. They tossed the stick aside, taking the cape and tying it in a knot around their neck, feeling a familiar pain in their chest as they headed on.

They knew that their heart couldn’t take it. That, if they read the note attached to the spaghetti, they’d… They’d be unable to stop the pain, unable to feel anything positive ever again. So they headed right past it.

As they remembered those last words, as the last promise Papyrus made to them echoed in their head, they curled up into a ball, sliding down the wall as the tears tore through their eyes and ran down their cheeks.

They felt the deep anger that ran through every vein in their body as they saw that sadistic smile Sans had worn flashing before their eyes. They felt the pain that ran through them as they took the stick in their hand. Chara felt the rage as they snapped it in two and tossed both of the pieces into the bushes, the pain as they remembered how Papyrus had approached them, told them that he believed in them.

Chara let out a defeated sigh, their breath staggered, weak, as they curled up into a ball and closed their eyes to hold back the tears.


	14. Chapter 9: I Promise.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now to get back to the present where we left off.  
> (What? Did you not notice that the last chapter took place just before the ending of the one before it?)
> 
> Confusing, right? ;)

Chapter 9: I Promise.

Shivering, braced against the cold as they curled themselves up into a pained ball, Chara watched the dancing lights above them, lights which resembled something they had heard about on the surface; the aurora. Apparently it was beautiful and pretty. Something that Chara might have agreed with, in another life, before all this…

The underground was really a beautiful place, but it was painful, how tarnished it was by humanity. By the humans above, by the humans who occasionally fell below, by them. So much of the monsters pain, it belonged to Chara. They were the reason that monsters had been trapped down here, without hope, for so long. They were the reason that everyone had died the last time around…

Chara held their chin between their hands, desperately trying to use the lights above them to keep them awake; desperately trying to fight off the sleep that would eventually come.

That was how Chara solved problems, by fighting. That was why Sans had done what he’d done, because they… they had corrupted him. They had hurt him so badly that he had been driven into madness. That he thought that nothing would matter because it was all going to be reset anyway.

That was the hurtful part. It was never going to be reset, never again. Frisk had made sure of that. For some stupid, nonsensical reason, Frisk had swapped places with them. Why did Frisk do that? Why did Frisk give Chara, of all people, a second chance? Did Frisk not know how rotten to the core they were? Had Frisk not seen first-hand what Chara could do, had done?

Chara held their head in their hands, shuddering in pain as they saw that horrible image, as they watched Papyrus slowly turn to dust. No matter what the timeline, it was always their fault. It was always because of them that he died. And now, he’d never live again.

Chara felt the tears that had crawled painfully from their eyes and ran gently down their hands. They felt the aching pain of their broken soul, of the part of them that had died with Papyrus, and been resurrected, only to be murdered again. They felt the helplessness as those voices inside their head just laughed at them, calling them weak for being unable to stop it.

At some point, despite the cold, the pain, and their battle to stay awake, Chara fell into a pained sleep.

*          *          *

The darkness was the first thing you noticed in this strange, empty environment. The silence was the second. This was the void, where Chara had been the last time round, and, though they didn’t want to, they recognized it immediately. You don’t exactly forget a dark, cold, painful place in which you’ve been trapped for one hundred years.

There was the feeling of a warm hand on their shoulder. Something they definitely hadn’t felt before, in any timeline, ever. After all, nobody ever even thought to save them. They didn’t deserve saving anyway. You don’t save _the demon who comes when you call their name_.

Chara turned their head, knowing even before they did who that hand belonged to. The knowledge of who owned the hand, it hurt them even more, made them hurt even more than they already did.

The hand belonged to Frisk, the human they’d forced to comply, who they, alongside the third party, had used as a pawn, had forced to kill every single monster, until the underground went empty. Chara felt a feeling in their heart, a strong feeling that Frisk should not be showing them kindness right now, but should be hurting them, like Sans had.

Frisk let out a saddened sigh, moving a little closer to Chara, kneeling beside them, a small tear in the corner of their eye, but somehow held back. Frisk could hold back the pain better than Chara could. It was a fact that made those voices insult them for being a crybaby, ironically, something that made them hurt even more.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Chara felt a deep pain inside them and lashed out, **“Take your stupid mercy! I don’t deserve any of it!”** They yelled, partially at Frisk, but mostly at themselves. If they’d just been quicker, if they’d not spent five minutes curled up in a ball, if they’d not spent all that time being a selfish jerk, acting as if they were the only one in pain, then Papyrus wouldn’t have… wouldn’t have…

Frisk seemed to sense that so, so much of the anger was directed inwards, and moved back over, this time sitting opposite Chara and pressing their head against theirs. Even though Chara was technically the older of the two, it was Frisk who had the maturity. It was Frisk who was the ‘ _big sibling_ ’.

Chara felt a lump in the back of their throat, a pain that tore through their entire body, a pain that, unlike some of the pain they’d had to deal with, they couldn’t laugh off. They struggled, **“I… I don’t understand. I did everything right, I spared everyone and – and...”** Their voice trailed off, leaving them feeling frail and weak.

“I didn’t know Sans would do that.”

A self-piteous laugh escaped from the demon and they turned away in a desperate and failed attempt to hide their despair. **“I… I knew he HATED me. I knew he’d do something to hurt me and… and I should have been ready.”** They admitted, their hands falling down to their sides, defeated, their body falling forward into their adoptive siblings arms.

“Chara, it’s not your fault.”

Chara struggled, feeling the warm touch around them, the consoling, gentle rub on their back as the tears spilled uncontrollably from their eyes and just wouldn’t stop. As the pain tore through them again and again, as they felt the feeling of their soul shattering into a million pieces a million times over all at once.

“It’s not your fault he died. You didn’t kill him, Sans did.”

How much Chara wished that was true… They might as well have. They hit him with the stick. They had no intent, no will to harm, but it might as well have done him in. They might as well have pulled the trigger, after all, they didn’t know if he’d survive it or not. A small part of them, a part of them that they absolutely _hated_ had told them to do it, just to see what happened.

“You need to stay determined.”

Chara felt another level of pain tear through them, the waterworks only intensifying as they recalled how many other people they had hurt. How it wasn’t just Papyrus they had killed, but Asriel too.

Chara felt like their soul was going through a blender. They were _responsible_ for the death of their best friend. They were the one who had convinced him to take their soul. They were the one who had crossed the barrier; who hadn’t even checked to see if he was ready. They were the one who had then lost control, lost the will, the hope they needed to get him home. They were the one, who on so many levels, were responsible.

Frisk held them gently until the last tear escaped their eye, until the final droplet fell painfully down to the floor below them. Then Frisk finally spoke.

“You may have lost Papyrus, but if you give up now, you’ll lose everyone.”

Chara tried to steel their gaze, but it soon became abundantly clear that Frisk was wrong. They couldn’t do it. Not now, not without Papyrus. Papyrus _was_ everyone.

“Promise me you’ll Stay Determined, ok?”

Looking down at the floor, knowing that whatever they said now would be a painful, lie or truth, yes or no, Chara sighed sadly. “ _I… I’ll try._ ” A warm, gentle smile crossed Frisk’s face as they gave their sibling a final embrace. A last hug before…

*          *          *

The feeling of cold was the first thing that told Chara they were awake. That was shortly followed by the fact that nothing had changed at all. The lights were still there, and the snow that was falling to the ground hadn’t even covered up the footprints yet.

They felt a painful guilt within their soul as they reached into their pocket and took out the cell phone. They just need to… they just needed to hear their mother’s voice. They just needed to know that she was ok. They needed at least one small fraction of hope to hold onto.

They dialled the number with hand that shook from grief, internal pain, and cold that was both literal and figurative at once, and fingers that had literally no sensation. Pressing the buttons, they finally felt the phone vibrate in their hand, ringing once, twice… Each time, Chara’s hope that Toriel would pick up dwindled a little more, got closer and closer to being crushed…

Finally, on the last ringtone, there was an answer from Toriel, and answer that made Chara feel just a little bit warmer, a little bit less empty on the inside. A little bit more like a human, knowing that they had at least one person they could rely on in this cruel world…

“Hello, my child? Are you alright?”

Chara fought back the tears as they held the phone shakily to the side of their ear. They desperately tried to force the pain out of their voice as they spoke. “ _Hi mum, I… I just needed to hear your voice, to know you were ok…_ ”

“How are you out there? Nobody has hurt you have they?”

A deep pain rushed through every single muscle in Chara’s body. If they weren’t hurting, then they didn’t know what the word meant… But they decided not to tell Toriel that. It’d be cruel of them to crush their mother’s hopes, to hurt her like that again, so they took in a deep breath, mustering up the will to lie to her. “ _It’s good out here. It’s a little cold, but… I think I’ll manage, you know. The person you told to look after me, he’s been taking **real** **good care** **of me.** If you ever meet him again, remember to thank him for that._ ”

Toriel knew when her child was lying to her, as implied by the long, pained pause from the other side of the phone. Something bad had happened, and she knew. But she had faith that Chara would tell her about it when they were ready to, and that pressing them on the matter would not help them, but hurt them.

“So, have you made friends with any good people out there?”

Chara felt a blow to their chest, a feeling that made them want to throw up, as they recalled Papyrus, how they had been so close to making Friends with him, when… when he had been killed by his own brother… It. It hurt them so badly, but they couldn’t bring themselves to tell Toriel. That pain, they should and could handle it themselves. Nobody else in the world deserved that pain. And they wouldn’t wish it upon anyone else either, so they sighed sadly, “ _Well, there’s this really cool guy called Papyrus._ ” Their breathing shook, but recovered, “ _He’s so fun! He loves puzzles, just like you do, and he has a passion for cooking too, but he could probably learn a lot from you._ ”

Toriel laughed a little. This skeleton sounded like a real good guy. It sounded like their child was having a really good time out there with him. Maybe they were just upset because of one of those burdens they carried, that they always seemed to believe was something they, and they alone, had to cope with.

“I hope to meet him one day. He sounds like a good person.”

Chara curled over, letting out an anguished sob as they watched that image over and over of Papyrus, using his last words to remind him that they believed in them, that they could do better, even… Even if they didn’t think so… The tears just wouldn’t stop coming as Chara felt the same anguish over and over again, replaying that moment in their head, how if… if they’d just talked to him instead of faltering and-

“My child, are you alright?”

Chara took a while to recover, their mother’s question only made them hurt more. If Toriel knew everything they had done, it… it would break her heart in so, so many different ways. So they lied in an obvious manner, desperately trying to stop her from asking about it, so they could grieve in private, “ _Yeah, I’m fine._ ” They retorted in a manner that was much more sarcastic and frustrated sounding than they had hoped for.

Toriel sighed sadly. There were two kinds of pain that Chara often went through, and neither of them was particularly justified. The first was where they had actually done something wrong, but blew it up so out of proportion that a small mistake, like dropping a dish or putting the wrong ingredient into a pie, made them hurt inside, made them ache.

The second was where they had seen wrong done or been there when something bad happened, and they kept replaying the situation in their mind, telling themselves that if they had done this or that or something else, then it would all be fine. That kind tore them to pieces.

The other problem was that Chara had this desire to suffer alone, in pain, in silence. It was as if they thought that telling someone else would then make that someone look at them differently.

This was something that made being Chara’s mother a constant battle of trying to keep them happy and console them when anything, even something tiny, went wrong.

“Chara, I know you feel like you have made a mistake, but you need to remember, we all make mistakes from time to time.”

Chara sighed sadly, looking into the snow at their feet, which was finally beginning to cover up the footprints. If that was the case, if everyone made mistakes, then everyone must make them every second of every day, because Chara always made mistakes. Chara, simply put, _was_ a mistake, at least, that’s what their parents had told them when they’d taken them for a picnic on the mountain, and never come back.

Chara shuddered, the tears that were in their eyes were finally coming to a stop, but not from lack of internal anguish, so much as from lack of water to make tears with. They sighed sadly, “ _Please, instead, can you tell me something good about how you’re doing. I… I think that will make me feel a bit better._ ”

Toriel hesitated. It wasn’t at all good, knowing that their child was hurting, in pain, and very probably alone right now. It didn’t feel good, telling them all the good things about how their day was going. It felt almost like a mockery. But Chara was not like most children; Toriel knew from years of experience that the best way to console them, if all other attempts failed, was to tell them that everyone else was alright.

“Well, my child, my time since you left has been rather pleasant... Lonely, I’ll admit, without you here, but pleasant nevertheless. It hurts me knowing that your time has not been as good as it should have been, but, I have faith that you will do better with time... That you will overcome the obstacles that have been thrust your way.”

Chara sighed sadly. It felt rather unlikely that that would ever happen, but, knowing that their mother was doing fine, knowing that there was something that hadn’t been taken from them in that instant. It made them feel better.

Chara held the phone a little calmer than before, placing it under their mouth, they sighed, “ _I’ll call you when I’m feeling better, ok mum?_ ” They asked, waiting for one last answer as they climbed shakily to their feet, brushing the snow off their legs.

Chara let the warm, gentle fibres of Papyrus’ cape as they rubbed against their neck and chest; they took a deep breath, slowly exhaling as they felt his voice willing them on one last time.

“I hope to hear from you soon.”

Chara hung up the phone after a second or two, stuffing it back into their pocket, they felt the air on their face as it mimicked them, mimicked their personality, what they really were inside – cold. Nothing in this world could change that.

 _But_ , Chara decided, feeling the warm embrace of the confident skeleton who could have been their friend, _one thing they were not, was heartless. And one thing they would make sure to do was be the best person they possibly could from here on out. They would not kill, because Papyrus would not want them to._

Chara smiled a little as they stepped out into the cold breeze, feeling the snow as it brushed against their cheeks. They stood up, feeling stronger than they had in a long time. They would not kill or hurt anyone. Instead, they would strive to prove Sans wrong, to prove to Sans that they were not a demon or a killer, that they were a good person when they wanted to be.

Chara felt the warm nuzzle of the scarf against the side of their face, and couldn’t help but feel a little better. They wouldn’t hurt anyone, not ever again.

Chara held the one memory of their _newest and_ _greatest_ friend against their head. They smiled a little. “ _I’ll do better… I won’t let anyone get hurt, not from now on._ ” They sighed sadly, feeling the anguish in their chest as they saw that image one last time, but only now letting it in so it could make them stronger.

**I PROMISE.**


	15. Chapter 10: The first one hurts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh Yes!
> 
> My best Mettaton impersonations aside, the story is finally back on the move again, and trust me, things are going to (slowly) start to build up from here on out.
> 
> Thank you for reading this far by the way!  
> (I hope I didn't scare anyone off with Papyrus' death either)

Chapter 10: The first one hurts.

The first time somebody dies because of you, it hurts really, really bad. But, as you go on, with each LV, it’s supposed to get easier; it is _supposed_ to hurt less. But Chara had found from experience and a whole load of pain, that as you went on, it only got harder. You only questioned _why_ – why were you killing? What was the point? Until you just couldn’t do it anymore. Until you could no longer bear the pain; until the person you saw when you looked in the mirror was no longer you…

The light that shone down was somewhat gentle against their face. The snow had stopped and they were feeling a little warmer now. At least that meant things weren’t all bad…

Lesser dog provided some rather fun pet-related antics. The dog may have been a little angry that Chara was wearing Papyrus’ cape at first, but a few good pets left it helpless as its neck extended up out of sight. The point at which Chara finally decided to show it some mercy and let it leave before anything weird happened.

The hidden switch puzzle would have been much more entertaining if it didn’t remind them so strongly of Papyrus, how he loved puzzles so, so deeply, how he admired anyone who could solve them.

Knowing how he had tried to make them entertainment using such a medium, and first time, they had just trudged through it as if it hadn’t even been there, then the second time, they had watched him die before he could finish.

It made Chara feel a deep-rooted nausea inside. They felt sick at the person they were, how they had just ignored his efforts, how they had broken his heart long before Sans had finished the job. It made them feel like maybe they belonged here. They were the _real_ monster. Asgore, Flowey, Sans, at least they were good people, had strong motives, when they killed, they killed for a good reason. And if not, it was because Chara was the one who had made them that way. At least they didn’t just walk through their home and kill every single person who lived there… At least they didn’t do that…

Dogamy and Dogaressa were oddly absent when Chara passed into the area where they had been intercepted last time. It was a troubling thought, and only made them feel more alone than they already were.

The room with the puzzle where you pressed all the Xs was next. Chara couldn’t help but cry, knowing that Papyrus had set these puzzles up, that he had put them together intending to ask about the pasta he had made, intending to make friends, and now, he was dead, and wasn’t ever going to come back.

This was all their fault! If they had just been a good person last time around, if they had just worked harder to convince Sans they wouldn’t hurt anyone, Papyrus would still be here, asking about the flavour of his spaghetti, if they had enjoyed it.

The air was cold against their face as their eyes settled upon the puzzle that, last time, had been arranged to resemble Papyrus’s face, now just a few lines of snow. They sprinted forwards, attempting to force the piles into the shape they remembered from the last time, but none of the piles would move. It was like the universe was laughing at them, mocking them for being so weak.

After all, that’s what they were – weak. They couldn’t even save one person. It should have been Frisk here, not them. Frisk should be the one who is doing this, not them. It shouldn’t be them, with the constant feeling of the dust that isn’t under their fingernails and the knife that isn’t in their hand.

Chara couldn’t bear to proceed any further. They felt the heaviness in their heart as the clouds came overhead, threatening rain, but never actually letting loose. It was as if the heavens were holding back, as if some great power suspected that if it rained, Chara would literally break inside.

Letting out a deep, saddened sigh, Chara sat down on the snow. They needed to catch their breath. To… to think. They… They couldn’t go on… Not like this, not after… not after that.

Chara fell forwards into a defeated position, shuddering as they felt the invisible hands of the people they’d hurt and the people they’d lost, trying to comfort them, trying to console them. But, they, they were beyond retribution, beyond consolation. That was the consequence of what they had done, of the terrible things they’d done to the people they’d known.

The cold air that blew against their face as they felt the memories, they watched Papyrus, offering them a hug, promising them acceptance.

They felt the pain tear through them as the glove lifted into view, as the hand that wasn’t quite their own flew forwards. They hadn’t been able to stop his death then, and they hadn’t been able to stop it now. That was one of the facts about them that they had learned to live with. They were a failure. No matter what they tried, it went wrong and someone _always_ got hurt.

The looming shadow of the clouds as they felt the rain on their face, they were now back in Waterfall, swinging the glove into the terrified face of the kid. He… He was just a kid, but they lashed out at him with enough force to fell an adult. This was why Chara hated themselves so, so much. They were responsible for so, so much pain. They had taken so, so many people’s hope away, hurt so many. It… They could only fight off the pain by yelling at themselves, by telling themselves that they were not a good person, that they were a monster.

That was why they had killed so many last time, because if they stopped, then all those people they’d hurt, all those people they’d killed, would be something they’d done consciously, of their own accord. They’d tried to pretend that the third one had forced them to do it for so long, so long that it almost felt true, but now they knew that it was really them all along.

They felt the spears that tore through them again and again, the punishment they deserved for the terrible things they’d done. They felt the rage that tore through them all over again, the rage that had made them attack. They swung down at the ground before them, slamming a fist into the snow-covered tundra, desperately trying to erase the guilt, to erase the pain, but to no avail.

They watched as Undyne slowly, painfully melted, overwhelmed by her own _DETERMINATION_ , her own will to live as she smiled, hope filling up every single corner of her eyes, a longing, desperate hope that someone, anyone would strike them down in the future, that, with the power of the six souls, they would be defeated.

There was a cold feeling in Chara’s chest. They felt the snow against them, like dust from the last time around, stuck in every crevice, every single pore clogged up with a cold, dead substance. They felt tears in their eyes as they lashed out at Mettaton, killing him in an instant. The killing shouldn’t have hurt by then, but as you kill, if you keep asking yourself why, you’re doing it, it only ever hurts more.

The final corridor was the real turning point – Sans and Chara, the duelling pair of the final corridor. The last hope of all monsters against what must, must have been a demon. What could not be anything more than that; there was no way that Chara was human, not after what they’d done.

If either of them surpassed the other, it would end in misery, in pain. If Sans surpassed Chara, he’d be left with the painful reality that his brother, and everyone else he cared about was gone, forever, and there was nothing he could do about it.

If Chara surpassed Sans, they’d go on to do the only thing that was left, destroy the world. They’d kill everyone, everyone’s hopes, everyone’s dreams, vanquished in an instant, but all the pain, it would finally end.

This was what it came down to – two lost, pained souls, duelling forever in the final corridor; one intent on saving the world, the other on destroying it and moving on to the next. It didn’t matter what happened, neither would ever win. They’d always be duelling forever, because there were infinite versions of this world, all of which would play out in the same manner.

It was a dark, painful existence, but it was one that Chara had long since become resigned to. They had sat through this many thousands of times over. Each time it hurt just the same. Each time they felt the same amount of gruelling pain inside. Each time, Sans always hurt them physically, and the killing hurt them emotionally.

This was the punishment for what they’d done. They were stuck in an endless cycle of killers, an endless cycle of watching their loved ones die. But, this time around, they’d stopped the cycle. They’d finally broken out of this painful repeat, they’d finally escaped their cohorts.

But the world seemed intent on driving them back to their roots, taking everything from them until they lost all feeling and all they were was a great emptiness. If they didn’t want to be a demon, the world would force them to. It was apparent that something in this reality would never allow Chara to get themselves a ‘happy ending’. But Chara was fine with that. It had always been their destiny to hurt, to be hurt, and to fail. They didn’t care that reality had stacked everything against them, because they would try their absolute best.

If they couldn’t break out of these bonds, if they couldn’t free themselves from this endless cycle, then, next time, they would break the cycle altogether. They would kill everyone one last time, but this time, they wouldn’t move on, they wouldn’t pass to another world. They would just perish in the darkness, in the void that was left behind. They would finally end the suffering, end the pain.

The first kill always hurts the most. That’s what they tell you, but in reality, every single time hurts just as much, and with each kill, you lose a little bit of yourself until you look into the mirror and don’t recognise the husk staring back.

When that happens, you know deep down in your heart, that you have reached the point of no turning back. Where, no matter what you do, there will always be another Sans, another person who is unwilling to forgive; another one that will silence a Papyrus – a person who believes in you until the end – just to keep reality on its straight-railed track.

That was the reality of where Chara was, who they had become, what killing had done to them. It had made it so that there was not a person to find inside anymore, only a tattered, pained, lost soul that knew deep down that nothing they could do could change the reality that they were a cold-blooded killer. Nothing they could do would make anything better. That’s not who they were.

They were _Chara_ , _the demon that comes when you call their name_. They would never make things better, they would never help anyone. They could never do any good in this world. It was not part of their destiny. They would always be a murderer. They would always be the one responsible for the pain of others. They would always take those burdens onto their chest, because that was who they were.

In the family of goat monsters, they fitted right in. They were both a monster, and a scapegoat. So they would always take the sins of the third one, they would always erase all the pain that had been caused. They would always erase all the hurt, all the hatred, all the evidence. They would erase the mess that, in the long term, they had caused. It was all their fault. All their fault that the third one had considered killing. All their fault that Asriel had been a flower and willed them on. All of it, it was all their fault. Chara knew this, this was why they did what they did, because there was nothing else they knew how to do.

Chara sighed sadly, adopting a defeated position as they let out a cold, shaking breath. It was ironic, really, that the tormentor was just as trapped as the tormented. And that, no matter what they did, it was never, ever going to change.

Feeling the cold air rush past them as the scarf rubbed gently against them, Chara shuddered, the tears forcing their way out through their eyes, running quickly down their face, embarrassed to remain in the light as they made a break for the floor below.

This was all because of Chara. Papyrus was dead because of them. It was their fault Sans had hurt his own brother. It was their fault Papyrus was dead. They had driven Sans over the edge. After hundreds of timelines, Sans couldn’t let them have a happy ending, not after what had happened…

Chara sighed sadly, pulling themselves to their feet, brushing off the snow and walking past the memory of Papyrus’s smiling face, they walked over the silent, eerie, vacant, abandoned coloured tiles puzzle, feeling the pain in their chest as they recalled how every time they got to see it, it always gave a straight line of pink. How much they wished they could just go back and let Papyrus explain this puzzle with a smile on his face and glee in his eyes, but they couldn’t. Now they would never hear that explanation again.

Even if they killed everyone, they couldn’t destroy this world. Sans had finally beaten them. He would kill them, and if they killed him, they’d be forced to live with the blood of both brothers, and everyone else, permanently. This was something they couldn’t erase, not this time.

Chara ran a hand across their face as they slid over the ice puzzle, making sure not to fall, not to have to see the ice sculptures of Sans and Papyrus below. They recalled the look on Sans face, a look of sadism, of pure hatred, a look intended to make them hurt deep inside. They had been _so stupid_ , to think that they could do it, that they could get a happy ending. Of course Sans would defeat them. This was truly _why_ they killed, to stop something like this happening without them being able to go back and stop it.

They walked past the snow poffs, ignoring the Greater Dog that emerged from the last one as they stepped out onto the vacant, empty bridge.

Chara felt the wind running through their hair as they remembered once again, how Papyrus and Sans always waited at the other end of the bridge, how Papyrus had a ‘gauntlet of deadly terror’ prepared, but never used it, always holding back out of fear that he’d hurt them.

They saw before them, his adoring smile and fell to their knees in anguish, the bridge rocking as the Greater dog knelt beside them, looking at them with cute puppy dog eyes as Chara held the scarf in their hands, crying, shuddering into the red fabric, which, even then, failed to catch all their tears.

As if understanding, the dog emerged from its armour altogether, licking them gently and curling up in their lap patiently. Chara gasped for air as the tears seeped from their eyes, as the pain ran through every single faucet of their body.

The dog seemed resigned that they wouldn’t play with it, so it just hugged tighter against them, resting its head in their lap. It sat there quietly as Chara watched Papyrus turn to dust, watched his head roll along the bridge, stopping in front of them, as he promised that they could do a little better, even if they didn’t think so.

Chara felt a deep pain tearing through their chest, an anguish that bent them over with a force strong enough to rock the bridge. They watched the snow begin to fall from the sky above them, fluttering down on either side into the valley below.

They felt the cold wind as it ran gently past their face, the gentle movement as Greater dog, slowly, understandingly, climbed back into its armour and passed them. They felt the pain as they felt the footsteps passing them, as they felt the fragile hope they held in their chest as it slowly began to fade away.

After all that had happened, they couldn’t call themselves a demon because, at heart, they were not a demon. They were a child, a lost soul with an extensive amount of pain, moreso than any child of their age should ever have to deal with.

Chara climbed to their feet, walking along the silent, empty bridge as the snow fell down on either side, beautiful in every respect. They felt the wind brush the snowflakes across their cheek, caressing them, wiping the tears away.

Chara smiled a little as they looked up at the sky, as the slowly, gently falling flakes of white drifted down towards them, as the silent bridge was made infinitely more beautiful with a silent trickle of snow.

They felt the cold recognition in their heart as the forces of nature willed them on, as the forces of nature attempted to console their grief, as the forces of nature gave them another reason to live, another thing to press on, if only just to see one last time in the future.

That was what hurt the most, the reality that nature was always giving them something to live for, that even they were looked after by the only mother they had left.

They looked up at the sky, feeling the warm light that was emitted from the shop in front of them, feeling the gentle breeze on their cheek. Chara smiled, if only a little.

This gentle breeze, the idea that Mother Nature had care; even for someone as evil, as cruel, as they were.

It filled them with _DETERMINATION_.


	16. Chapter 11: Everything Stays.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for alcohol in this chapter.  
> (Applies to Chara, and after what they just went through, who can blame them?)

Chapter 11: Everything Stays.

The room had a cold, but gentle feeling to it, just like most things in Snowdin. The bedside table retreated into the wall like it was terrified of prying eyes. The table next to the bed was wide and long, but there was nothing to sit down on, so it was almost as if it was there for the scenery. Yet another part of Snowdin that felt both empty and useless without a friend.

As charming as the rug in front of the door was, it was almost too resigned to the décor of the rest of the room, adopting a gentle dark red that just blended into the cream floors and wooden brown walls far, far too well.

Chara felt like they were sleep walking. They hoped they were, when they moved out from the bed, using the bedside table as a makeshift stool to sit in front of the long dressing table. The lamp that was hiding in the corner let out little more than a dull glow, highlighting half of their face with a gentle, sweet caress as they took out the spider cider.

The jug smelt strong as they put it down in front of them. They took out a photo of them all on the surface, how they had been at the end of that blissful first timeline, when everything had gone right, before the third one had come. Placing it in front of them, Chara managed a weak smile as they took the jug in their hands and let the sour liquid course down their throat, burning their insides as it went.

The world seemed to shake a little, to wobble back and forward slightly, but even then, they still couldn’t _erase_ the memories of Papyrus, of Sans, of Toriel, Alphys, and Undyne. They couldn’t forget how they had struck their adoptive brother again and again with that knife the last time round, uncontrollable rage in their eyes.

Chara clasped both hands around the jug, tilting back as they hoped that perhaps they could finally forget how they’d got here, how much pain they had gone through.

They felt the pain, the anger, the frustration that roared through their veins, the deep sorrow all over again as they watched the only one who hadn’t been scared of them, their one true friend, turn to dust in an instant. Evaporate before their eyes, they’d never see him again.

It didn’t take too long at all for them to fully empty the jug, such was their internal anguish. They picked up the pieces of a life they’d once had, a life they’d never have again, feeling the pain as the shards cut their hands, driving one through the glass cover on the photo, they pressed it against the table and etched out over their first friend from their quest. He was gone. It was time to accept that.

No! No! He… He couldn’t be gone. He… He couldn’t be gone. They weren’t sure how they’d cope, without his optimism, without his personality, what they’d give for a bowl of his God-Awful pasta…

But it was done. The Great Papyrus was gone, and he wasn’t coming back. It was too late for sorrow, too late for mourning, too late for pain. Chara lifted the hatch on the window, holding their old friend’s scarf out into the wind, feeling it swish about in their hands, requesting eagerly to be let free.

Chara ran a hand over the tears that ran down their face, tried desperately to control the painful knot that tore through their insides and made them want to throw up. They sighed sadly, it was time to let go.

Papyrus flew out of their hands with grace and elegance, taking off as he flew through the window, cutting up into the sky, piercing the clouds. It started to snow more heavily outside as Chara heaved their gaze upwards into the sky above, watching their best friend as he faded into the embrace of thousands upon thousands in a flurry kindred white.

It was heart breaking, gut wrenching, but this was what they had become. This was who they were. They were supposed to be the bad guy, the one who hurt everyone else, because if they didn’t, then somebody would get hurt, and it’d tear them apart inside. Flowey, their long-lost brother, he was right about that.

They… They just wanted him back after all these years, but they couldn’t get him back. It was like the universe didn’t want him to be with them. It was like all the laws of reality had conspired against them.

Chara watched with misty eyes as the snow finally slowed down, coming to a stop outside, revealing that Papyrus was now gone. They felt their heart turn in their chest and fought the urge to cough up their guts as they watched all the pain all over again. Nothing they did could ever _erase_ what they’d done.

There was a deep internal pain as the revelation, that they’d gotten everyone they cared about killed began to spin in their head. They held their face into the sheets, shuddering as the pain roared through their head, as the tears forced their ways out into the sheets, as they watched every memory of Papyrus, his goofy smile, his inedible spaghetti, his naïve understanding of dating, of life altogether.

Chara couldn’t even laugh this off. It pulled them in tighter and closer with every breath. They felt the blood trickling down their hands, onto their face, all over again. They didn’t care, because that was what they’d done to themselves. They deserved this.

There was a gentle whistle, an attempt to console them from the wind outside, causing them to yell out in angered grief, slamming the window behind them. They recalled the pleased expression on Sans’s face the first time around as it flashed before them all over again. How he stood there in the half light of the final corridor, confident that they’d do the right thing.

They remembered the fear in his eyes as they’d told him that they were going out for some fresh air, and he’d next seen them in Snowdin three days earlier, with dust covering their every aspect, with a toy knife in their hand and an expressionless face.

They watched the anger in his eyes all over again when he’d stood before them in that same corridor, obstructing their way, with his blasters, his flashing eye. A fight some part of him somehow knew he’d lose. They watched the sadness and the resignation as he dragged himself off, trying to make it so that they, the good kid he remembered, didn’t have to watch him turn slowly to dust.

They remembered the deep and vile hatred in his eyes, the anger in his face as he’d locked them behind the bones and forced them to watch their friend die. How he’d killed his brother, but because he knew it would hurt them, had barely even felt a thing.

Chara held themselves into a tight ball. They were the one who had done this to him. They were the one who had turned a friend into an enemy, a saint into a sinner. It was their fault he’d done that. It was their fault he’d killed his own brother just to get back at them. It was their fault Papyrus was dead, forever.

There was a moment when Chara might have thought Sans was going to be their friend, but that idea, it had died with him last time. Papyrus had proven that. Chara let out a sad, resigned sigh as they cried into their pillow, “ _Papyrus… I’m sorry, I really am._ ” They sobbed as they watched it all over again. It was like the movie that never ended, constantly playing to them, over and over, never stopping or letting them go.

Chara wished with everything they had that they could have stopped themselves from going back here, that they could have just stayed on the surface, but the opportunity had passed, and this was the person they had become. They had hurt so many people so much. They didn’t deserve friends, all they deserved was all they had, pain and emptiness deep inside.

Slowly, they fell into a deep, pained, sorrowful sleep, forcing the pain gradually out of their mind as they fall into troubled dreams, slowly allowing the memories to dull until they finally are no longer at the forefront.

The sleep is troubled, but better than the last one, or the one before that. It’s probably down to the cider. At least, that’s what Chara decides to imagine, because there is no way that they could have contained the pain themselves, right?

*          *          *

The pain that tears through their heart the next day, the spinning in their chest, the glare of weak light that cuts through the window like a razor blade, it jolts Chara awake. Almost falling into the bedside table with a startled yelp and a crash, they pull themselves to their feet, then, once they’ve regained their balance, they head downstairs, keeping their head down into the ground as they slip past out of the front door.

They had decided to stay at Snowed Inn because they had been moving for what felt like hours, and were now tired, not to mention, with the pain in their chest, they couldn’t bring themselves to go on any longer. At least, not until they recovered, which they still hadn’t, but at least they felt a little better, like their insides weren’t going to break apart at any second.

There was a quiet nature to the town, as if somehow, everyone else knew of what had happened to Papyrus. As if, somehow, everyone else was also mourning the loss. But Chara knew that wasn’t the case. They silently handed the shopkeeper some GOLD, enough to buy a bisicle and a cinnamon bunny. They walked out into the cold, heading onwards with their journey. It was time to go.

The gentle yet cold wind rubbed sympathetically against their face as they forced their way through the cold air. It felt like treacle as they moved through it, something in their heart longing for them to just stay here, in Snowdin. To just stay there and watch the townsfolk, the lovely weather, the memories of Papyrus, but they knew, deep down, that they couldn’t, that if they didn’t, everything would go wrong.

The snow crunched underfoot as they walked soundlessly passed the Library, scoffing for one last time at the misspelt sign that somehow still hadn’t been corrected after all this time. They looked up the narrow pathway to where the Riverperson would stop to take them quickly, impromptu, back to Hotland after seeing Papyrus. They felt a twinge as they snapped one of their heart strings at the thought.

The next crunch saw them passing by the Christmas Tree. One of the creatures there, a bear, was laughing a little as he spoke to one of the other villages, “It’s strange, there was a present here for Papyrus… Now it’s gone. Did someone steal it?” he asked as he put another present under the tree, something to which Chara felt a painful feeling emanating in their chest.

Grillbys was almost silent. When Chara went in, they found everyone there. They were all wondering where Sans and Papyrus were. Even Grillby was nervous. Apparently Sans was a regular.

One of the monsters in the corner, a weird monster with ginormous teeth remarked that this was around the time that Sans would come in, shortly followed by his brother Papyrus, a strange fellow who would normally order a glass of milk.

Chara felt a deep pain in their chest as they stepped back out, walking past Sans and Papyrus house, they looked at Papyrus mailbox, which, for the first time in forever, was empty. It was unreasonably cold and the town just felt empty. They watched the river that flew past the town, sitting down next to the empty house.

Holding the pain in, they took out the cinnamon bunny and began to eat it. They didn’t need to, but it was one of the nicer delicacies of the underground, and the only way that they could deal with this was to comfort-eat, to make themselves feel better about what had happened, perhaps the feeling from the food would eclipse what they had done. They doubted it.

There was a moment of silence as a warm feeling crept up on Chara from behind. It took them off guard to find Grillby there behind them, a concerned look in his eyes. They felt the fire monster’s voice, commanding, imperative.

“Please, wait.”

Chara felt a chill run up their spine, which was odd, given that the creature that was behind them was made entirely of nothing but fire.

Grillby seemed to give them a sincere look as he took a seat next to them, melting the snow as he touched it, resulting in a few small clouds of steam, something that Chara actually found quite amusing.

“I know what you did to them. To Papyrus and Sans…”

Chara fought back the tears, trying to shove him away, only to recoil their hand due to the heat. They nursed their wound in frustration, “ _Get away from me, or you’ll get hurt too!_ ” they yelled at him, trying desperately to not sound broken and afraid (exactly how they did sound).

“I do not imagine you would be capable of such a thing.”

There was a brief silence, it was almost as if even nature was holding its breath in apprehension for Chara’s answer, which was no answer. They sighed sadly, holding out their arm in a gesture for him to leave them alone.

The fog clouded in on either sides of the walkway, the sound of the river running alongside it the only sense that was not overwhelmed.

For a moment, Chara began to imagine that they might make it through to waterfall without incident. But then, breaking the equilibrium, there was a brilliant flash of light and a flaming figure stood before them, the past insecurities gone, the frail bartender had completely vanished, and in its place was a tall, overpowering fire monster.

“I have had many foul customers in my day, but none have come and left so quickly as you did, especially not without a tear in their eyes.”

There was a moment of silence as the fog began to clear, Grillby’s flame turning a heated semi-transparent blue with frustration as he held out a burning hand. His frail, suited exterior shedding off like a second skin to reveal a calm, collected fighter underneath.

“There were some monsters Undyne could not let into the royal guard because they were simply too powerful. I was not one of them, but my father, he was.”

Chara held a hand over their eyes to shield them from the ever brighter, growing flames. The wind finally blew past, removing the fog altogether to reveal the bartender standing there, legs spread out in a combat-ready stance, flame burning full blast.

“He trained me to fight. He taught me to stand my ground. So, after what you did to my most loyal customers. It’s time you learned that lesson.”

There was a sinking feeling that Chara knew very, very well. It seemed that they weren’t going to get out of here quite as fast, or quite as easily as they had planned. A half smile crossed their face. Maybe that was a good thing.


	17. Intermission 4: Beautiful Day Outside.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's some major action coming up, but before that, why don't we take a short break? ;)

Intermission 4: Beautiful Day Outside.

Letting out a heaving sigh as his legs went numb for the third time in five minutes, Sans propped himself up behind a pillar in the golden scene of the corridor. He liked it behind this pillar. It was quiet, safe. It was where he went to think when things got tough. And by ‘think’, what he really meant was cry his eye sockets out.

The birds outside were singing a gentle, cheery tune, and the sun was shining in through the windows. One might argue it was a beautiful day outside, and that Sans shouldn’t be cooped up behind a pillar, if they did, it’d only hurt him.

The last time around had been literal torture to him. The human had killed everyone he cared about – literally every single person. Papyrus, being the kind, good-natured person he was, hadn’t even dared to put up a fight. Undyne was the only one, other than him, who had even stood a chance against the human anyway, but it was more painful knowing that his brother had believed in the human, even after the blow had landed.

Sans sighed sadly. He was refusing to call them by their name. Someone like them didn’t deserve a name. Or friends, for that matter, a point he hoped that he’d gotten across. But, if they were who he thought, then he’d been playing with fire from the start.

It wouldn’t surprise him that royalty, or really, ex-royalty, didn’t give flying pasta about what he had to say to them. It wouldn’t surprise him that ex-royalty believed they were above the consequences of their actions. What would surprise him is if the ex-royalty felt remorse for what they had done. They couldn’t feel remorse. They had shown him that so, so clearly when they’d killed Papyrus, then just kept killing without a hitch in their step.

But then again, was it possible they were being threatened or controlled? Because, after all, they had seemed pretty torn up about what they had done… No. They couldn’t care. It was impossible for them, because if they did… Then he’d have killed Papyrus, the light of his world, for absolutely nothing, and that was not something he was willing to even consider, not even for a moment.

Most likely they were whatever was left of Prince Chara Dreemurr, the adopted member of the royal family. That’s why he was here, by the palace, to ask Asgore what they were like, however indiscreetly he needed to…

Sans entered the royal gardens once his legs had stopped aching. He really had been working himself. He’d normally say something like ‘down to the bone’ or ‘tibia honest’, but he wasn’t in the mood for puns. The king was a really nice guy. King Fluffybuns, as he was known, was recognized for three things, being adorable and kind, allowing anyone to come by his home at any time, and being really, really bad at naming stuff.

When Sans entered into the garden, the king looked up, a troubled expression on his face. When he saw Sans, it was like his face fell and took his entire mammoth body down with it, but then he brightened up again, as usual. It didn’t take a lot of searching to find that a guy who wrote “It’s a beautiful day outside” in his diary every day was taking optimism to a new level, so it must have taken something really big to knock the smile off his face. But it was back, and he spoke in his usual booming voice.

“Sorry, for a moment I thought you may have been somebody else.”

Sans threw a smile that said ‘I’m fine with that’ in the laziest sense of the words possible, then sighed sadly, his hands drooping as he just about managed to hold his grin as a mask.

“sorry, i uh, came to ask about your child, Chara. i was wondering if you could, uh, tell me about them.”

Asgore hardly seemed surprised that Sans didn’t address him formally whatsoever, or that he was so direct and to the point. Neither, interestingly, did he seem surprised about whom Sans was inquiring, but Sans decided he’d chase that question up last.

After a moment of silence in which the king seemed conflicted, as if struggling to decide whether to tell Sans anything or not. He probably was struggling to make that decision. Something Sans could empathise with. He’d practically raised Papyrus, so if someone came knocking on his door asking about him, he wouldn’t be too eager to say anything.

“Shall we talk about this over some tea? It might take some time...”

Sans smiled a little; the tea would be free, and even though he liked the taste of ketchup more, he’d lived with tea as his drink for the early mornings before.

Taking a seat as the furry cushion on the other side of the table removed the top from the steaming teapot and poured them both a cup, Sans eyed the king, watching his movements, testing for any sense of anxiety or disturbance. There was none.

“Chara was a good kid, you probably don’t think so, given what they’ve done ‘recently’, but they really do have a gentle and kindred heart, one I saw in them on many an occasion, much as they tried to hide it.”

Anyone else would have been angered, even frustrated that the point they were trying to subtly approach had been shot out of the sky a mile off by the king, but Sans really didn’t have it in him to get angry at what was practically a talking marshmallow. He smiled a little, maybe that was another poor excuse for laziness. The hell if he knew.

The king seemed to know something about the child, the ex-prince, Sans didn’t. What did he know that Sans didn’t. He’d spent even less time with them than Sans had! He decided to speak.

“whaddya mean ‘gentle’? i don’t think it suits them.”

Asgore let out a laugh that was so throaty, it practically exploded from him, Sans was certain it was almost loud enough to shatter the glass on the other side of the room (given a suitable pitch change, of course).

“You wouldn’t be alone. It seems Undyne also has some degree of memory of it. But if you hurt them, remember that it is you, not them, who has crossed the line first, Sans.”

Sans smile almost faded in an instant as he watched his brother fading into dust all over again; he definitely had crossed that line, but he wasn’t sure why, or how. He’d just felt this cold, familiar voice in his head that had told him to attack, and then he had done just that.

Asgore let out a slow, understanding sigh, his chest puffing up to over three times its normal size. For a moment, Sans was worried the king was going to break his own chair, but then, much to his relief, it receded slowly, back down to the original shape.

“Chara always blamed themselves for everyone’s mistakes. They seemed to think that they were somehow meant to take the burden of everyone else. It meant that, if anything bad happened and they were involved, they were usually pretty torn up about it.”

A confused, surprised expression crossed Sans’ face, something that the king seemed to notice, but let pass by as he continued in his speech.

“If they’ve done anything wrong, I know for a fact that they’ll be torn up about it not long afterwards. I called your brother a few hours back to ask if they were alright, but, there was no answer. I was about to ask you, but then you came here.”

Sans felt a chill run down his spine as he had to watch that moment of Papyrus turning to dust a third time over in the last five minutes. He let out a pained gasp, then breathed out slowly, “yeah, about that, they sorta uh, killed him.” He chose to lie; something that was technically treason, but then so was abandoning your post for a couple of hundred ‘industry-regulated breaks’.

Asgore’s face curled up into an awful frown of absolute agony, and who could blame him. Without saying a word, he apologized, perhaps too much, and excused himself, leaving Sans to finish the last of his cold cup, letting it pour out over the ground beneath him. There was something odd about that moment. It was as if even nature was worried, as all the birds stopped singing.

Sans knew he was lying, but it wasn’t all a lie, it was just a truth about the last run around… Besides, he wasn’t going to admit he killed his brother for nothing. They would have killed Papyrus anyways, given time, right?

Sans rose to his feet and left to return to his usual place behind the pillar; God, wouldn’t it be great, no, excellent if, just for once, he could believe one of his own lies?

As Sans passed by Asgore’s room, he smelt fresh ink on the page of a new entry; he entered quickly and quietly, then he read.

“It’s a beautiful day outside.”

Sans’ smile spread ever so slightly, that line was so, so true…


	18. Chapter 12: Right where he left it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. The chapter titles right here are a reference to the Steven Universe song: 'everything stays'
> 
> However, that's _definitely_ not the theme for this chapter. In fact, the theme for this chapter is [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1_g4F0kFU0) rather hot-headed theme, originally located here, but extended by [Xenomorphic Tendencies](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQD-HclNkZ5Tds6HtNR01Gw).
> 
> I hope you enjoy the _third_ piece of action in this story.

Chapter 12: Right where he left it.

The flames were the first thing Chara noticed. Grillby was definitely riled up, stood there in his suit. He looked like he was about to serve up a cocktail of destruction (and fire), but they decided not to dwell on that idea for too long. More important was getting him to understand that they’d done nothing to Sans.

There was a quiet resignation to the bartender’s voice as he spoke.

“I’ll serve you all the pain you’ve caused until there’s nothing left, then I’ll start over.”

There was a sudden darkness, Chara sighed sadly as they were filled with _DETERMINATION_. This was it, time to see how much they were willing to put behind their goal.

The flaming attacks swept in from the side, forcing Chara to leap as high as they could. Another set came in from the opposite direction, some of the flames orange, some pure white. Chara had to time movements in order to avoid getting burnt. Something that was likely just down to Grillby’s style.

Once the flames had passed, Chara relatively unscathed, mostly down to look, the burning man seemed to smile a little, his flame turning an even brighter shade as he straightened his gaze.

“So, you can dodge... No, you’ve just been practicing.”

Chara leapt to their feet, flinging themselves forward as the burning flames came in from all sides, forcing them to dive diagonally at times to avoid being hit.

A cocktail of blue flame came around from behind them, sending a shiver through them as it passed just underneath them as they fell. They landed, sprinting forwards with a conviction like no other, leaping past the plethora of drinks that ranged from soda to vodka martinis to spider cider and even a splash of beer.

Some drinks, such as the taller soda cans, were better swerved around, while others, such as the shorter jugs of cider or beer, could be jumped over.

When they nailed the landing off of three sets of varying drink, landing onto an extended forearm that took much of their weight, Chara smiled a tired smile. They had to give it to Grillby, they hadn’t expected it to be this tough.

Grillby seemed to smile back, as if he was reminding them that he’d offer them a glass of pure, raw compassion, but he doesn’t touch the stuff.

“You killed Papyrus, Sans, you’ll probably kill everyone, if you haven’t already…”

The bartender had clearly been listening to Sans’ paranoid rants for far, far too much time. Not that he could be blamed, Sans was his best customer, and bartenders did have a habit of picking up conversations; all the more reason to maintain a good mask if you ever went out to dinner somewhere. Chara sighed sadly, recalling that, despite that, he was definitely right. They had done that. It was their fault Papyrus was dead now, wasn’t it?

The bartender took them off guard with a quickly summoned barrage of flames and heat. His fire spread very rapidly indeed as they dodged aside, tiring themselves out. The explosion from one of the larger ones caught them across the chest, a glancing blow that flung them onto their face.

Chara sprinted forwards impulsively, diving past another flaming ball of death, probably the previous one’s cousin or something. They leapt off the ground with force they didn’t even know they themselves had, landing promptly on the other side of a wall of fire, they rinsed and repeated.

As they ran, Grillby didn’t seem to get any closer. It was like he was warping the properties of space, a fact that made them wonder how much else this bartender knew of and wasn’t telling them.

The narrow gap between two fireballs was tight enough to force them to curl up, neatly somersaulting down into a crouch before diving over one on the other side. Chara had fought Sans enough times to have at least a decent control of their bodily function, but even still, this was challenging, and it was inevitable that as they were emerging from that, a fireball came in from behind, knocking them forwards into another and another until they felt a roaring pain in their lungs and chest.

As Chara pulled themselves up from the ground, throwing themselves over yet another fireball, rolling out the way of a group that came in from opposite sides, they turned to face Grillby an spoke with gasping breath, “ _I get it, you think I killed Papyrus, but I promise you, I didn’t._ ”

“Don’t lie to me. I saw the look in your eyes.”

Grillby, of course, was right, but Chara wouldn’t give him that, ever. It was something they’d carried from the last few runs, that, no matter how bad it got, they’d never admit that an opponent was correct.

Flames tore through the ground, forcing them to leap around them. The pattern rotated as it approached inwards, approaching faster and more frequently until Chara was gasping for breath just avoiding it, and just as it reached full speed, they felt a feeling of gravity, and, pulled down, they were forced to leap through more flames as another wall of fire slowly closed in behind them.

They sprinted, leaping through the first gap, flailing, feeling a burning heat on their left arm as they dropped out into the empty space. They glanced over their shoulder as they dropped down under another barrage. The fire behind them was gaining on them, and fast.

Chara leapt up, swinging arms onto a board a few meters away and dragging themselves over the lip, they clambered to their feet, feeling the fatigue, as if their soul would give any moment.

Chara strode forward with immense power and speed, leaping with everything they had at the last possible second. Flames above and behind licked at their feet as they fell down on the other side, dropping to the floor below as the flames behind them dissipated, dissolved into the air, leaving a warm feeling against their back and yet somehow, a chill running up their spine. _That was too close for comfort._

Taking a bite into the only remaining item of food they had, the biscicle, Chara felt their energy replenishing, then, holding themselves up a little straighter, they gestured with a full hand, “ _I can take this all day._ ” They bragged, successfully masking the exhaustion in their voice.

The bartender seemed riled up by this, something that was probably a success.

“No, you can’t, but if you prove me wrong, I still won’t let you go.”

Chara let out a faint, vaguely disappointed smile, prepared for another attack. “ _Well, it was worth a shot, right?_ ” They fell into a familiar posture, as if getting ready for Sans all over again.

Grillby fell down towards them.

“Time to get up close and personal with you.”

There was a blast of flames that forced Chara to duck back. They let out a gentle, approving smile, “ _This. This is more like it._ ” They joked, diving aside as a cocktail spun through their position.

Grillby restricted their movement with a pair of firewalls that closed in tighter and tighter, then shot blast after blast of fire, forcing Chara to leap back, twisting awkwardly aside as a fireball shot off into the aether behind them, ducking down under another jet as they saw it in the corner of their eye, watching, surprized as it whipped past over their head.

There was another blast of fire from Grillby, causing more fire to cut across the ground, lighting it up like a literal Christmas tree. Something to which Chara responded in the only way they knew, dodging rapidly in random directions as the flaming monster before them fired blast after blast of energy, cutting them off strategically as the flames closed in, tighter and tighter in pattern.

They leapt up and over a flaming drink heading their way, sliding under a fireball as the flames exploded backwards in an attempt to stop them, pushing off the ground into a sprint as the fire closed in closer and closer, they ducked down, crouching into a ball before  pushing off.

The flames passed just underneath their eyes, allowing them a brief moment of breathing room before they landed back down and lunged forwards.

A few fireballs were blasted at the floor all around them, forcing Chara to dive as fast as they could. The flames caught at their heels and they were certain their legs were burnt, but they leapt forwards, swinging playfully at Grillby.

Grillby tried to dodge out of the way, but he had been certain he could have subdued them, so was overwhelmed, unable to stop them as the line of flames swung back around at full speed. He closed his eyes. Papyrus, Sans… He’d failed them.

Landing the hit, Chara was flung off their feet immediately by a line of flaming magic. They landed, one HP left, as the flames closed in all around them, closer, closer, more and more hesitant.

Grillby opened his eyes again, glancing up above him, he found, much to his surprise, that they hadn’t even harmed him, so much as given him a playful fake hit that had caused his glasses to be lopsided on his face. The flames died down as an expression of sheer, pure confusion spread across his façade.

“But… I don’t understand. You had me right where you wanted me, in the crosshairs of an attack, but you… you didn’t even… Why didn’t you?”

Chara sighed, weakened, gasping for breath, “ _Because I couldn’t hurt you, any of you, because I don’t want to._ ” They smiled a little, “ _I assume you’ve read about how a monster’s defence is weakened by intent to hurt them._ ” They reminded him, receiving an intrigued nod in response, “ _Well, I have literally almost no intent to hurt anyone, never mind kill._ ”

They remembered the last time round, how they had killed so many. How, since then, every single part of their mind had been dismissing the voices, even though they could be heard. Every single part had been reminding them of what happened if you let anger get the better of you. That was why they couldn’t kill, because they knew what it looked like if you did. It tore you up inside with guilt.

There was a momentary silence as the flaming man before them died down, as his flames turned from white to blue to yellow until they were barely large enough to produce embers. He shuddered, had he really hurt an innocent child like that?

“I’m sorry….. Did- Did I hurt you?”

Chara let a calm, gentle, understanding smile spread across their face. “ _No._ ” They sighed sadly, “ _My pain’s mostly internal, after everything I’ve seen, everything I’ve done…_ ” They told him, feeling the aching in their chest, the emptiness beginning to return again.

As the darkness subsided, there was a saddened sigh from Grillby, whose flames was now barely a flicker above nonexistence. He was conflicted, no surprise there. But there was a will, a commitment to him that couldn’t quite be defined. He just radiated inner strength and strong will to keep going.

“I apologize most sincerely. If you ever come to Grillby’s again, the next meal I give you, and any friends you have, will be free, I promise.”

A sigh from Chara as they stepped forward, giving the warm monster a gentle, understanding hug. They let some of his physical warmth transfer to their soul as emotional warmth, then smiled a little, “ _It was nice to meet you Grillby._ ” They sighed, Sans’ final words from the last corridor, the ones about going to Grillby’s, flashed before their eyes. “ _Sans really likes your place, huh?_ ” They threw him a playful wink, “ _I_ _hope your most loyal customer comes back soon, huh, or maybe he won’t hold that title anymore…_ ” they joked, a joke to which neither of them laughed, out of some kind of strange mutual understanding, as if both of them appreciated that, in reality, it was not very funny at all.

As Grillby went back to his job at his bar, which was eerily quiet without the skeletal brothers in town, Chara let out a deflated sigh and began to walk out of the cold, wintery Snowdin town, and into the wet but beautiful area of Waterfall. Just as they were leaving though, they felt a lazy vibration, an effortless ringing in their pocket. Chara picked up, confused as to who could possibly be calling their number. It wasn’t Toriel, so who on Earth could it be?

They furrowed their brow as they spoke into the receiver, covering the microphone to block out the symphony of splashes from the river behind them. “ _Hello?_ ” They asked.

“Uh, h-hi?” The voice asked, a tone of fear, nervousness echoing in its voice as it spoke even the first word. It was as if it had already decided against calling.

There was a brief silence, and then Chara had a moment of realisation as to who was calling; the only person in this timeline, in this world, who was ever that timid or frightened, who could possibly find their number. “ _Alphys, is that you?_ ” They asked, interest peaking in their voice.

There was a silence.

“y-yes. i, er, i’m, um… wait, how did you know my name?”

Chara let a smile come across their face as they felt the familiar tone, as they practically saw the sweat coming down the side of Alphys’ brow, the confusion in the royal scientists’ eyes. It was really quite hilarious to imagine it. The smile retreated to encompass half their face, but in a much larger grin, “ _Lucky guess, I suppose._ ” They lied.

“i suppose it was…”

With that, as suddenly as the call had come, the call went, leaving Chara to hear the echoes of the stream as they finally entered the cavern before them. This was waterfall, probably the most beautiful part of the underground, in Chara’s opinion. But, they knew one fact, which was that Undyne, after what had happened to Papyrus, was pretty much guaranteed to give them a bad time.

That was when a single voice rang out behind them, just before they could enter the door. It was a familiar voice too, belonging to someone, but they couldn’t figure out who, or what it was saying. They only heard it in one of the echo flowers as they walked past, and it only said one thing, but what it said, sent a chill up their spine.

**THE FIRST TEST HAS BEEN PASSED? THIS’LL BE INTERESTING, WON’T IT CHARA?**

It was as if everything in the surroundings went silent. The same voice ringing in Chara’s ears over and over and over. It wouldn’t even stop! It was so annoying, because they knew exactly whose voice it was, but… but… The third one could not be in this reality. The third one was… trapped out because of what they’d done, because of how they’d attacked… They, they couldn’t be back! It was impossible.

Chara stepped forward into the next room in a much more sombre mood. Sans’ “sentry station” was abandoned, and the room was almost silent as they walked up to it.

The idea that the third party was still here, it worried them deeply, but knowing that they were halfway there already, and might be able to make it to the end first, filled them with _DETERMINATION_.


	19. Chapter 13: One step forward.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (WOA! yOU MAED IT FRO PAR 2! TEM IS PROUDS!)
> 
> Yeah. My ~~best~~ worst Temmie impersonation aside, I congratulate you on reaching the third part of this long, long story. Though, do be warned that the next two parts are the longest of the story...
> 
> And also, part 3 is the bit where the plot really begins to develop.
> 
> Have fun! ;)

Part 3: Past, present and correct

Chapter 13: One step forward.

The quiet ambience of waterfall was terrifying. Yet another echo of Sans and Papyrus haunted the corner of the room, retreating back into the wall, another abandoned sentry station. The room felt quiet, empty, almost. The only person there was Monster Kid.

How much Chara wished that Monster Kid would just leave them alone. They weren’t his friend! They’d… They’d nearly killed him last time around for a measly 2 EXP. It was another one of the many things that made them wish that they had just died for good with Asriel.

One thing that they could agree with the kid on was that Undyne was amazing, and deserved to be recognized for her heroism. No KIDding, she’d made them reset about ten times just to get past, but, maybe that was a good thing, given what they would have done if she wasn’t there.

The waterfall with the constant, steady supply of rocks, was easy enough to cross. Chara made sure to enter the obvious hidden room behind it to get some dry clothing to put on, after all, if they stayed in wet clothes, they’d probably get pneumonia or something. A fact they’d learned the hard way when they and Asriel were still alive.

Ok, maybe they wouldn’t get _pneumonia_. But it had sure felt like it at the time.

As they stepped onto the opposite bank, they carefully moved the reeds in front of them to one side, parting them and slipping through without too much noise. If they’d learned anything, it was that almost everyone seemed to remember what they’d done last time, so alerting Undyne of their presence probably wasn’t a good idea.

The sound of water dripping down from the roof far above them echoed through the air as they watched the silhouette of the hero as she stood there, anxiety exploding from every single pore in her body.

The thoughts were almost audible. “Where is Papyrus? He said he’d meet me here.” And “I hope nothing has happened to him, because if it has…” were running rampant through Undyne’s head, were drawing worry lines on her forehead.

Without thinking, and against better judgement, Chara stepped forward, out of the reeds and into the half-light.

Undyne almost immediately drew a spear as Chara dropped to their knees, looking down at the ground as the spear rose up, Chara sighed, they deserved this.

 **“Human, where is Papyrus? I told him to capture you!”** Undyne boomed, the spear inching closer, causing Chara to well up. They were going to have to throw themselves into it, weren’t they? **"Did you... Hurt him?"**

Chara froze. It was their fault that Papyrus was gone, regardless of whether they’d actually killed him or not, it _was_ their fault. But… This was what Sans would have wanted. He wanted them to give up hope, and, if Waterfall gave them one thing, it was hope.

Chara gave a headlong, saddened glance at the crystals in the cavern ceiling, a near-perfect imitation of Stars, the holder of all monsters hopes and dreams. This was what they lived for, and what they were part of when they first died, before they were dragged back into life by the eighth fallen human’s arrival.

This…

This was who they wanted to be. A bearer of hope, a granter of wishes… This was why they’d tried that _stupid_ plan. Why they’d decided to break the barrier. They’d wanted to… They’d just wanted everyone to be happy, but they didn’t know how. How to make the wishes come true…

Agony, like an unstoppable force of nature, tore through them as they recalled in full detail the foul taste of the mustard yellow flowers, as they felt the insatiable glee of being part of their best friend, watching his brilliant memories, his happy life… The life they wished they could have…

Then they felt the pain of the spears tearing through their chest, both past and present intertwining as they watched their best friend die, begging him, pleading him to fight back so… so that they’d make it back home in one piece.

_“Asriel, please, I… You need to fight them. They don’t care about your MERCY. They’ll… They’ll kill you, because when it comes to humans, it’s kill or be killed.”_

They felt that unfathomable pain as they spoke the last words again, remembering how their chest felt like it was ready to burst. How they knew, deep down, why they’d lost control.

They lost control because they couldn’t bring themselves to force their best friend to do that. They couldn’t force him to kill, and they couldn’t bear the thought of hurting someone using his body.

_“Asriel, I… I don’t like this plan anymore either, so please, just FIGHT back so you can get away, so we can return back home… Please…”_

Then, how they’d stumbled back, how they’d helped him, both taking turns with controlling their damaged body, how they’d entered that garden with the golden flowers and fell to their knees.

_“Mom, Dad, anybody, please help us!”_

_But nobody came._

That’s why they’d done what they’d done, why they’d started killing first time around, because they needed to be stronger, they _had_ to be stronger. They’d got their best friend killed because they were weak in the moment when he needed them most.

The first few hurt, but by the time they got to waterfall, it was starting to work. They were no longer weak. It now barely hurt to kill any of the normal monsters, and the images of Asriel were no longer seared into their mind each time.

Chara felt a numb feeling in their limbs, a deep, inner cold. Why did Papyrus hurt so much? Was it because they were still weak? It was, wasn’t it? A weak smile spread across their face as another spear shot through them and they tumbled back into the weeds.

They wouldn’t EVER be weak again, but neither would they kill. That’d put everything they’d gone through to waste, and prove Sans right.

No.

They’d be strong. They wouldn’t give in this time. They had to hold on.

They had to stay _DETERMINED_ … _They had to_.

A spear shot through them yet again, and everything went to black.

*          *          *

Undyne’s pacing was probably the loudest thing Chara had ever heard. Hell, it was probably loud enough to start an avalanche.

After firing an internal curse for using the word 'hell' within, what, Five seconds of waking up? Chara listened in for a moment.

“They… They’re gonna be alright, right?” Undyne’s voice sounded unusually panicked, hoarse, even. Unsurprising, really, after all, a human had just stepped out in front of her, teared up, and not even dodged her attacks whatsoever! Who wouldn’t be a little _shell shocked_ by that?

“They’ll be fine.” If that was who they thought it was, Chara was probably going to fire another internal curse for an unintentional pun. “The kid’s been through a lot worse in their time. Wah ha ha.”

Oh no. It actually was him. He was still shuffling around at the grand old age of about one hundred and sixty something, and still with that god-awful nails-on-a-chalkboard laugh.

Seriously, Gerson, the hammer of justice, was known for that laugh. They called it the _nails_ to his hammer. And, let’s just be honest, it was more than a little too _nails_ -al for their liking.

Oh hell no. It was far too early to be making puns like that!

The internal yelling must have been loud, because Gerson seemed to notice it. “See? The kid’s tough – nothing to worry about.” He consoled the fish monster, who seemed to retreat into the corner, most definitely NOT embarrassed that her fear had been so obvious – Why hadn’t anyone told her about it? – She left through the door a little too hastily, and then she was gone.

“You may as well open your eyes Chara, wah ha ha.” He continued, resulting in an impromptu groan.

Chara held a palm to their head, nursing their temple, which felt like it had gone through a tumble drier, a tornado, and then a hurricane, only to be set back down to no movement in an instant. _“How did I even get here?”_ They asked, their voice a little more slurred than they had expected it to be.

Gerson let out another prickly laugh, then moved over an spoke in his usual, slow voice. “Why didn’t you defend yourself? I thought I trained you to dodge attacks.” He asked, followed by a noise that felt like it was deliberately comparative to a knife through the skull. Definitely not dodging the question he knew Chara knew the answer to.

Chara propped themselves up on one arm, _“I… I guess I wasn’t paying attention.”_ They let out a pained laugh, _“I can’t dodge my memories, or my mistakes.”_ They added, a nausea rising in their chest.

Another laugh from the tortoise monster, but this time, it actually sounded somewhat genuine, “It really is you, isn’t it?” He asked, moving in in a way that was too kind, too gentle to be something, anything Chara deserved. Brushing their hair aside to reveal a forehead marked with deep, pained worry lines and a pair of eyes that contained enough water to make a thunderstorm look like a sunny day. Chara always had carried the weight of the world on their shoulders.

 _“I- I don’t deserve to be healed like that! I hurt everyone so badly… I got Asriel killed; dad’s now killing humans, and-”_ Chara’s lip quivered as the pain in their chest rose up through their body like a wildfire, _“I got them all killed. Everything I touch turns to dust, so stay away from me!”_

Gerson resisted a laugh. The royal family’s second child always had this disproportionate belief that anything and everything that went wrong was their fault. When he’d asked why, the best he’d ever got was that it had something to do with their family before they fell. Gerson often wondered what kind of terrible creature would make their own child feel like the scum of the Earth, like a demon who may only come when you call their name.

But he already had an answer to his own question. A human did that, and _only_ a human.

He was too old for this, too old to do this dance again, of reminding them of every good thing they’d done in their life, but he did have one way he could show them that they were wrong.

He helped the weak human to their feet and walked through the pouring rain to the statue that they’d built with the royal scientist back in the day. He put an umbrella over the statue’s head and the sweet, kind tune began to play.

The child before him moved over, despite the pain of their wounds, and placed a hand against the stone, feeling the gentle sound of the tune echoing outwards, the cold patting of the rain against their hands, they leaned forwards, placing their head to the statue, and began to shudder with tears, with pain.

The only words Gerson could make out from their pained blubbering, was, _“Asriel, I’m sorry.”_

Gerson turned away, taking one last look at the poor thing. This was something he couldn’t bear to watch, and something that he shouldn’t watch. If there was one thing Chara deserved right now, it was privacy.

Instead, Gerson decided he might as well tell ol’ Fluffybuns that his child was alive. If only he had the number… His memory wasn’t quite what it used to be these days, but in a while, he was certain he’d remember it.

He just hoped that Chara wouldn’t get killed before then, through self-inflicted damage, or another monster’s stupidity…

Gerson let out a pained sigh, followed by a weak, but still auditory-grimace inspiring laugh, then took the child in his arms and placed them back where they had been, back next to the reeds where Undyne had found them. He hoped that this time, they’d be alright.

Chara sensed that he was going to leave, and gave him a sad look with big eyes that looked like they were holding back wave after wave of tears. _“Gerson I…”_ They let out a heaving breath, accepting one last hug from the tortoise monster, remembering how he’d been after they’d gone, how he’d struggled with the sadness of the unexpected loss, hung up his hammer and left the royal guard. They gripped him tighter as every other muscle in their body went limp. _“I’m so sorry.”_

A scaled hand brushed their arms aside, and then spoke, “I’ll see you again soon, Chara, Wah ha ha!” And then he was gone, no doubt back to his shop.

Chara pulled themselves to their feet after a good few minutes of pain in their gut and uncontrollable tears on their face. They sighed.

Utter sadness hung over them. They’d hurt so many people, they’d caused so much pain. But they had to keep going, even if it felt like for one step forward they went two steps back. They had to keep going to do something good, for Asriel.

The sound of the water dripping down from the top of the cavern helped them to calm their emotions and their nerves.

Sure, a feeling of dread, of sadness, of pain, hung over them.

But they were filled with _DETERMINATION_.


	20. Chapter 14: Better off without me.

Chapter 14: Better off without me.

The bridge seed puzzles had never really challenged Chara. They had always been good at solving puzzles anyway, so when they first arrived in the underground, they… just sorta fit right in.

Maybe that was one of the reasons that Asriel had become such good friends with them, because they both loved puzzles. It couldn’t be anything about their personality… Nobody would like their personality. They… Chara felt weak for a moment and desperately tried to push the images from their mind. They had proved that last time, hadn’t they? Nobody would be friends with a murderer. Nobody would be friends with a _demon._

Sans was right, of course, on who, or what they were. They didn’t deserve friends. They were the real monster.

Chara sighed. They still felt the tune from the music box ringing between their ears and fell to their knees. They shouldn’t have asked him to help. They shouldn’t have even stayed…

_“They’d be better off without me.”_

Chara cried, the sound entering the bulb of the nearest echo flower and being projected about the cavern for a couple of agonising minutes before fading into the distance. They… They were always such a crybaby, weren’t they? They just… Wanted everyone to be happy, but that couldn’t happen with them in the world. It hadn’t happened on the surface, and it wouldn’t happen underground, and the worst part? They weren’t even the worst one.

Chara curled up and sighed, letting the thought trail off. The nearest Woshuas attempts to ‘wosh’ their soul were so, so far in vain that after a few minutes of desperate failures, the  cleanliness-obsessed monster gave up and left to find a candidate who wasn’t permanently tainted.

Chara let out a sound that was somewhere in the region of a sigh, a sob, a cry, and a whimper, but none of the above noises, in fact, they let out several of these abominable death wails before their chest finally stopped aching from the immense pain.

That was the worst part of the last time around, they didn’t really know whether they or the third was in control, and most of the time, it was mutual.

But, the third one never let them sit down and cry half their face off, never let them recover from the pain. It was like it was some kind of game to them and they didn’t see how much hurt they were causing. On that run, each time, Chara tried to scare their enemies away before the third one could do anything. The creepy face, the red eyes, the charge… But everyone just stood there. Only Alphys was smart enough to actually get out of the way of them. Why did everyone seem to think they could win?

Chara sighed as they stepped into the clearing, remembering Undyne from earlier. When they’d killed her, they’d at least hoped the monsters would stop getting in their way. That at least the monsters would all vanish and let them walk to the core uninterrupted, but for some reason, every hundred or so steps, a monster seemed to show up out of nowhere. It was agonising, and by the end, Chara had given up trying to reset. It was Sans, how he had died due to his laziness, how he had given up too… That was what made them intervene.

Chara sighed sadly as they crossed a second bridge seed flotilla. It was hard to tell sometimes if they were good or evil. So many people, Sans, Undyne, Alphys, probably even their own adoptive father, would have gone ahead and proclaimed them to be evil, but if they were, why hadn’t they killed anyone yet? Why… Why were they being so nice? Why hadn’t the evil, murderous nature they knew they had taken over yet? Why hadn’t they killed someone?

They walked on, passing into the wishing room with little difficulty. Chara knelt before the crystals on the cave ceiling, looking up at the small stones that glinted in the light. They had come here with Asriel so, so often when they were alive. Under the wishing stones, it was one of the only places Chara felt they could be safe.

They hung their head in defeated shame. _“I wish I had never been born.”_ They whispered, an acidic burning in the back of their throat as the wishing rocks listened without a response. The caverns were eerily silent, the echo flowers only carrying a small conversation between two siblings.

The older one, a tall kid with a sad nature, listened to the smaller, more energetic of the two. The smaller took a deep breath, a quaking voice, and spoke out, asking their sibling a simple question.

“What’s your wish?”

The sibling glanced up at the ceiling above them, finding again the small, abandoned pinprick of light, full of love, full of hope, a little like them, they decided, they smiled a little. _“You tell me yours, and I’ll tell you mine.”_

Chara felt a pained dribble running down the side of their cheek. The echo flowers of the underground never lost any sound, or so someone had told them long ago, it just took about a decade for the sound to loop back round again.

The younger one seemed suspicious, thoughtful even, at that. They gave their sibling a suspicious, side-eying glance, then, thinking they knew what would happen if they spoke, frowned.

“You aren’t going to laugh at me if I tell you, right?”

The older of the two looked forlorn, hurt, almost, by that question, so the younger one extended his hand, offering support, asking to console them. However, before he could, they sighed and made eye contact. Their eyes looked watery, as if asking silently, _‘how could my own brother think that of me’_ , but they nodded, _“I promise I won’t.”_

A small, adorable smile spread over the younger sibling’s face. The sort of smile that made the older one wish to hug him even more than usual, but they decided to refrain from ruining the moment. He really was the best thing that had ever happened to them, in honesty.

“I just…”

He faltered, scanning his sibling for any signs of laughter, but there were none, only a deep sadness that he couldn’t quite understand. So he sighed and looked ahead. He didn’t want to remember the look in their eyes.

“I just want everyone to go free.”

The older sibling let out a roar of laughter, uncontrollable, in context. Something that made Chara feel like their soul was being ripped out from their chest, but they fought against the pain as hard as they could, and eventually it stopped.

The younger one, he looked absolutely dejected. As if his hopes and dreams had just been ground to dust in front of his very eyes. He always had taken offense far, far too easily, but that was one of the things that made him a great person.

“But you promised you wouldn’t laugh. You promised!”

The older sibling let out a deep sigh and stared down at the floor, unwilling to lie to his face. _“It’s funny, but that was my wish too, you know?”_ They spouted as Chara felt a cold pain run up through their chest, like a fist tightening around their lungs. They’d spent that last day lying to him about how they wanted the barrier to fall, they’d ran with it when he found them with the flowers.

What was their wish?

That was when the echo flower gave Chara one last present; a parting gift; the exact words they’d wished, the single thing they’d asked for just before it all went wrong. Just one pained heartless wish; one emotionless sorrow; one small sentence with the power to bring the killer to their knees.

_“I wish I wasn’t human.”_

Oh how they wanted to take that one back. How they wished they could turn back the clock and stop themselves from doing this, stop before making the plan that would screw it all up.

*          *          *

The room with the ancient writings was painful. This was why they’d made that wish. The humans they’d grown up with were… Less than desirable, and then the writings, about how the war with monsters had started, how the humans had attacked with almost no reasoning, just out of fear of something that, from how kind monsters were, would likely never happen anyway.

That was how humans were. They attacked, they destroyed things. It was in their nature. Monsters would never understand that, because they were all too kind to understand that. Monster souls were made of hope, love, and compassion. Flowey had absorbed varying numbers of human souls and felt none any time.

That was the problem, Chara decided. They were destined to lose, they weren’t a good enough person to actually succeed at this; to save all monsters and fix their mistake; it was little more than a pipe dream. That was a sad truth that could have been told in a thousand different ways to give the exact same effect – utter devastation.

The dark caverns of waterfall had always made Chara feel a little better, knowing that, even, after what they had done, they were still a part of something this beautiful, but since they’d died, Waterfall only made the pain worse. They didn’t belong in this system. They were the one who had ruined it.

Entering the long wooden boardwalk, Chara took slow steps accompanied with deep breaths. The water beneath lapped lazily against the wooden posts that stuck through the water, a reflection of brilliant blue cast in the light from the other side of the cavern, and a reflection of vile, demonic hatred in the centre. Chara knew which one they were routing for.

Undyne did something she wouldn’t normally do. She spoke, a quick check. **“You aren’t going to run into my spears again, are you?”** She waited for a response, but received only a whimper of inwards-directed sorrow. Uncontrollably, she felt her brow furrow. Why did this kid hate themselves so much? Why did they seem to want to die? Not even the kind one had just ran right up and let her skewer them… Not even the bookworm or the brave one had done that.

Chara sighed sadly, taking a step forward, then spoke. _“I’m sorry Papyrus is gone… I’m sorry I couldn’t save him.”_ They shook a little, but forced it off and continued their advance, _“But I can’t keep running from my sins. Throw that spear into me and take the soul. Use it to free them all.”_

Undyne froze up. Was this a joke? It must be. Using her friends name like that, acting like it wasn’t exclusively _THEIR FAULT_ he was dead. But then how did this kid know about the barrier? They couldn’t have been here before. It was one of Gerson’s old jokes, wasn’t it? The old man always did have a sense of humour.

Undyne flung the spear, and the kid didn’t even move to the side. It tore right through them like they were made of sandpaper.

The kid clambered to their feet as the spear faded away, shaking, bleeding, they spoke again, not even sounding an ounce less convicted in tone. _“Do it again. Please… This world, it’d be better off if I was dead.”_ They returned.

Undyne threw spears at every inch of the bridge. **“You’re supposed to dodge them!”** She yelled, knowing deep down, full and well, that the kid would not move.

One of the spears hit them in the left leg, and they fell into a crouch on one knee. _“Please just kill me. I got both of our best friends killed.”_ They continued, determined to die as they clambered back up and walked ever closer, a deep pain eating away at them behind their eyes.

The fish monster found herself dehydrated, throwing another spear, but this time deliberately trying to miss. Of course, it didn’t. The child just stepped right into its path. Why wouldn’t they fight back? They were just like Asgore in that respect. They refused to fight.

Undyne cursed under her breath, summoning one last spear. **“I’m not throwing any more until you start running!”** She yelled, keeping her breathing as steady as she could. Did this kid have a death wish? They kept walking up to their enemies and asking to die.

The kid opposite her knelt, the pain from their wounds clearly overwhelming them. _“Isn’t it pathetic? How I get two of my friends killed, and how I know for a fact that you’ll kill me at some point. You will when you find out what happened to him… How he died.”_

Chara felt the pain well up in their gut and then spoke. _“I’m… I’m sorry, that didn’t exactly help, did it?”_ They looked at the floor, finding the smallest speck of dirt to focus on. That was what they deserved to be. _“I always did have a habit of ruining things.”_

Undyne took a deep, laboured breath. Why was she feeling sorry for a human? Weren’t they the ones who deserved to be run through with spears for sealing all the monsters underground? Weren’t they the enemy of everyone’s hopes and dreams? “Don’t give up on yourself, kid. You do that, you’ve wasted everyone’s time, understand?” She told them, then decided to leave.

 _“Wait!”_ The pained voice rang out from behind her, forcing her to stop and turn around. _“I might as well tell you my name…”_

There was a silence, then the human spoke again. _“I’m…”_ Their tone lead off, and they took a deep breath, _“My name’s Chara.”_ They seemed to almost smile, as if some great weight had been lifted from their shoulders. _“I’m the enemy of all your hopes and dreams.”_

But by the time they finished, Undyne had left, content that it would be best not to spill her heart out over a human of all things, instead deciding to do it to an echo flower instead. The worst part, was that she knew who she was about to kill, and that put her up against herself. Put the part of her that wanted to kill one more human to get the seventh and last soul against the part of her that knew if Asgore knew whose soul it was, he’d never forgive himself.

Undyne sighed. Why did the world always seem to give her the craziest, most difficult choices?

*          *          *

The room after the crystal had the usual grey door that lead to the mysterious man who disappeared by the time you got to him. As usual, but Chara felt something inside. They couldn’t resist it, it felt familiar. They _had_ to open that door.

Why did they have to open the door? What logical reason made them wish to open a door? Wasn’t it a waste of time?

>YOU WANT TO OPEN THE DOOR.

Chara felt a feeling of absolute dismay as their hand turned around the handle. The third one wanted them to do this? That meant things were going to go very badly indeed…

>YOU TAKE THREE STEPS INSIDE.

Chara looked ahead of them, their legs moving without their permission, without even letting them stop it. The grey room was empty, and the mystery man was gone already…

>YOU WAIT FOR FURTHER COMMAND.

Chara took a deep breath as they felt their body stiffen, as they felt the familiar dark, shadowed presence behind them, as they felt it move slowly across them; as they felt it smiling at them in a demonic red.

>YOU TAKE THE KNIFE FROM MY HAND AND DRIVE IT INTO YOUR CHEST.

The demon extended a dark hand, in which was a knife. A familiar, dusty knife, coated in dust from every single person they’d killed the last time around. Chara felt their hand taking the handle, even though every single brain cell in their head was telling them to let go, every single part of them was screaming to drive it into the demon’s chest. They were just as powerless as they always were and always had been.

Their hand shook, tears streaming down their face as the glinting edge moved closer and closer in, as they pulled back with every bit of force they had, only for it to keep going at the same torturously slow speed, without even a change in pace.

As the blade began to pierce their skin, Chara screamed out instinctively, _“Why? Why are you doing this to me?”_ They asked, a deep pain ricocheting through them as the blade cut through a nerve, a pain that caused them to nearly pass out from exertion trying to hold back the sickening yelp or the tortured howl.

>YOU STOP.

Chara felt the blade, just sitting there, watched as the red began to trickle out and crawl down their shirt, began to pool out of the wound. They felt their legs beginning to weaken underneath them, their body breaking as the demon only smiled further, only cackled with glee as it observed the fear in their eyes.

>YOU TWIST THE KNIFE.

The blade began to turn, causing the uncontrollable screaming to finally burst forward. Causing Chara to fall to their hands and knees, to beg as their left hand continued to wrench the wound deeper no matter how hard they tried to make it stop.

The demon walked a little closer, kneeling down before them, pushing it in a little deeper to make the pain even greater.

>YOU SLOWLY REMOVE THE KNIFE, CUTTING DOWNWARDS TO TAKE IT OUT.

Chara gasped as the knife moved down their stomach causing the acidic pain as it sliced through the nerves, sliced past their ribs, cut up the blood vessels. Their hand came back red as it touched their chest, and their eyes blew up with rage; something that caused the demon before them to laugh uncontrollably.

>YOU DON’T TRY TO LEAVE THE ROOM. YOU BLEED OUT HERE.

The demon gave them a matter-o-factual whistle, slipping out the metal door into the wider world, leaving Chara choking, gasping for breath in this cold, dark grey place, a place where nobody would ever find them, where nobody would help them or heal them…

The door slowly began to close, cutting off the last ounces of hope as they desperately tried to pull themselves along the floor, as they put hope upon hope into the desperate plan, praying that they’d be able to move their limbs even an inch, but failed time and time again.

The grey floor was already coated in blood and the world felt as if it was fading into darkness. Chara felt tears stream down their cheeks. This was their fate. This was what it had all been for. To die here in a dark grey room with nobody to save them.

They took one last, deep, staggered breath, gasping for air through damaged lungs. _“I… I’m sorry Frisk… I’m sorry I-”_

**_“F A I L E D   Y O U.”_ **

The world faded to black for good as the demons laugh was heard beyond, merged with the sound of dust as it flew by the doorway and the metallic clang as they were cut off for good.

The demon made a big red smile. This was who they were, after all. They were _DETERMINATION._


	21. Intermission 5: Tortured Souls.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, well the tags do say "Player as Antagonist", don't they?  
> What did you expect? Them to be benevolent?
> 
> But yeah, it's kinda terrifying that they can just say something and Chara ends up doing it, no matter how hard they try not to.
> 
> This is true to form.  
> The Player is the Antagonist of Undertale, after all...  
> They simply don't realize it until they're done playing the game...

Intermission 5: Tortured Souls.

It was the cold, incorporeal hands, not dark, vile tendrils of hate, but cold hands missing a body, that Chara noticed first. In fact, these hands were so darn cold that they snapped them awake.

“Chara? Oh God, Chara! Are you alright?”

Chara felt the pain that ran down their chest. They weren’t a crybaby. They couldn’t be… Big kids don’t cry, do they? But the aching was too much to bear, and they folded into a pathetic, sobbing ball within barely a second of seeing it again.

“Chara! You’re hurt, aren’t you? I don’t know how to help you…”

Chara shook their head, sadly, slowly. _“I should have known they’d still be around.”_ They held out a hand, letting out a pained grimace as it moved a muscle in their chest, gesturing for Frisk to refrain from trying to help them. _“I should have known that just because I got a body, the demon that came with me wouldn’t have vanished.”_

“How are you even still alive?”

Chara’s mouth twisted into a weak smile as they took their focus to anything, everything else but the wound and tried to let their healing magic do their work for them, _“You do know how much I miss you Frisk, right?”_ They confirmed.

Frisk had been the light of their world, even when Chara couldn’t move a muscle of their own accord. When the second run had come around, the two of them, through a sort of mutual understanding, had taken control of their vessel at a whim. Both were powerless to the demon, but it helped maintain sanity, knowing that you didn’t have to kill your family or your closest friends.

Chara sighed sadly when they were greeted with an answer of complete silence. _“It’s funny. You did this so the player couldn’t control me, and then they made me do this to myself, picked me up like I was some kind of ragdoll and used me again.”_ They looked down at the ground. _“It’s useless. We’ll always have to follow orders, won’t we?”_

There was a moment of silence, then, just as Chara was about to worry if Frisk had left them, Frisk spoke.

“If we’re under its control, why didn’t it keep you? Why’d it try to make you kill yourself?”

Chara sighed sadly. It had been a mutual agreement last time around to refer to the demon by nothing more than ‘it’ or ‘the third one’ or ‘the demon’, never to use the name it had given them. _“I don’t know. I think it wants to torture me… It’s playing some kind of sick game.”_

Even at the start, it had been that way… It would have been easier for the demon to just kill them both and then end the world using the corpse, but it was like the demon wanted to torture them for something. It let them make friends with everyone, only to take it all away. Maybe it didn’t want to be lonely, or maybe it wanted a scapegoat upon whom to pin its deadly actions.

Whatever the reasoning, it stubbornly refused to put them out of their misery, forcing them to march through hot, cold, and swampland, killing everything on the way.

It wasn’t like that the first time, almost as if it was content to stand by and see how the story would go without it, but the second, and every time after that… It seemed to only have one desire, and that desire was to make the underground go empty, permanently...

“Chara. I don’t think that’s working…”

Chara looked down at their bleeding wound and felt sick for doing so. They sighed, moving their hand away, leaving red marks as they punched in the number, they muttered to themselves in quick succession. “Please pick up-Please pick up-Please pick up.”

There were two rings, and then the other side replied to their plea.

“My child, are you alright? It’s two in the morning, should you not be asleep?”

Chara let out a raspy cough, _“Not really. I… I can’t remember how to use healing magic.”_ They sighed, _“If I can, I can’t focus enough… I guess maybe I hoped that your voice might help me?”_ They justified, stumbling over each syllable with difficulty and laboured breath.

Toriel frowned. She wished that her child didn’t feel the need to justify themselves to her. But it was better that they felt that they could ask for help, than that they did not. Toriel sighed, she knew her child could summon healing magic, but from what she was hearing, they were in too much pain to focus. They would need an anchor, and had chosen her voice, so she played along.

“So, how have you been since you last called.”

Chara smiled a weak smile, letting out an uncontrollable cough, they took a deep breath in and a deep breath out, _“It’s been tough. I have to live with what I’ve done, but I’ve made a few friends, a few enemies too, but-”_ A splutter, _“I think maybe I can make it, with friends like them.”_ Chara didn’t have the heart to tell Toriel what Sans had done, or how close to death they were. It’d break her heart all over again if they did. It’d cause her unnecessary pain.

“Who are these friends you speak of? Can you tell me anything about them?”

Chara breathed in, feeling their breath a little less difficult, _“There’s this guy called Sans. He tells amazing jokes. We… Got off on the wrong foot, but I think it’ll turn out ok.”_ Exhale, gently now, don’t want to break the wound open. _“His brother, Papyrus is a really cool guy. Makes spaghetti, but could do with a few cooking lessons.”_ They stopped themselves, their breath shaky, _“And as for Grillby, he’s just a good old stand-up guy. Knows how to make a good cocktail too…”_

“So, where are you now, my child?”

Chara sighed, the magic was working, but the pain was still there, worse, somehow. _“Not much to say about it really, it’s just dull grey, no distractions, nothing for me to lose concentration on. Maybe except the pain itself.”_ They sighed, _“I really can’t wait to see you again. How long do you think you’ll take?”_

Toriel froze, looking at the bags before her, not packed, deliberately. She might wish to go, but she couldn’t. She wouldn’t let herself see Asgore, and what he had become. Because, if he had become a killer, was she a killer too by definition? She was, after all, his other half.

“I’m afraid I may not be coming to see you, but we will see.”

Chara gasped, looking down into the grey of the floor as the pain tore through them again. They’d let their guard down because of that. They couldn’t quite get it back up again. The idea that they might not see their mother again before they died… It hurt terribly. They needed something less painful. Maybe more general, like the conversation they’d had the first time they’d used healing magic. They took a breath in, _“What did you like most about me, and about the others that fell down after?”_

Toriel smiled a gentle smile, there were so many things. Chara had this lovely, caring demeanour. The humans that fell after them all had a different thing about them.

The first had _so_ much patience. She’d taken two hours to get the pie ready, and they’d just stood there the entire time, in contrast, the second was incredibly brave. They wouldn’t even touch the items they were given at all.

The third was a persistent bookworm, definitely the kind of student Toriel would have wished for, and the fourth was an amazing cook, making meals for all the monsters they ran into, (and themselves, of course).

The fifth was a dancer who could pull off amazing twirling movements, and the sixth a kid obsessed with the concept of justice. The kind of people who were completely unlike Toriel in every way, but she loved them for who they were, not who she wanted them to be.

But, after everything that happened. It had become awfully apparent that, no matter what, she could never replace one person. She could never replace Chara. No matter what, her second child would always hold a place in her heart.

*          *          *

Chara clambered shakily to their feet. Their shirt was stained, but their chest was no longer bleeding out. They reached over, opening the door and stepping out into waterfalls catacombs.

The place felt eerily silent yet again as they walked, slowly, carefully on.

Then they realized why. They felt something under their foot, and looked down to find a small, nearly insignificant, but so, so important pile of dust.

There was a small, terrified onion monster to their right. He spoke carefully with a trembling voice.

“They told me to remind you of your place in this world… But I don’t know what that means.”

Chara felt a few solemn tears welling up behind their eyes, but fought them down as they forced themselves to keep walking on.

They had one objective now. One simple goal; to kill the monster they had created; to end the demon’s life once and for all.

**_Determination._ **


	22. Chapter 15: Old regrets, new outcomes...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And back to normal. (Sorta)  
> (Well, as normal as things can get when you've been dead for 100 years and then been brought back to life, that is)
> 
> Anyway, now that that depressing intermission is out of the way, the story should start to go somewhere (maybe).

Chapter 15: Old regrets, new outcomes...

The walk through the lower section of waterfall was absent, though somewhat bearable due to the beautiful reflection in the somewhat florescent water below. Chara had always liked this place, how absent it was, how it made them feel. It had beauty, but the knowledge beneath it, the _‘lore’_ , made it deadly inside. It was a little bit like them.

Chara took a seat on the edge of the dark plateau. Looking out into the glowing blue water; they held out their arm, letting the hypnotising glow envelop it, cover up the faint crimson hue of human flesh.

They’d seen worlds die many, many times. Worlds of care; Papyrus meant the world to Sans. Sans could take anything with him, but without him Sans would break apart inside. Worlds of civilisations; humans and monsters, their collective world was torn apart by war, and later destroyed by a demon. Worlds of belief; such as Chara’s old belief that, if they died and a human fell down here, maybe the only person besides Asriel who they’d opened up to; a young skeleton with sadness in his eyes, would protect the monsters.

But, seeing a new world created, or a place of true beauty, or the birth of a star; no matter how many times, it still made them feel astonishment, feel distant, objective admiration. They couldn’t afford to be attached, no. Because they’d have to destroy it all at some point down the line. But they could let themselves have a distant feeling, an impersonal pleasure, knowing the brilliance of what they had been allowed to observe before them.

Chara let out a defeated sigh. They didn’t deserve kindness or sympathy. They ruined everything they touched, didn’t they? They’d gotten their brother killed and created a demon trying to save him. They’d destroyed so, so many worlds that they couldn’t be redeemed – that would be impossible. No. They weren’t doing this to redeem themselves, to make themselves feel better. The purpose of this was for everyone else; to get them all a permanent ending, an ending with no more resets.

Some people would never be able to get a _happy ending_ , not after what they’d done. But Frisk. Frisk deserved to have a permanent ending with their friends, without them to mess it up all over again. Frisk didn’t deserve to have to go through hell over and over. No. That was Chara’s penance. Frisk should be on the surface right now, but, as usual, Chara had messed that up too.

Chara ran a hand through the water, moving away the dark plant life on the surface, bringing their reflection to the forefront, looking down at the broken, tortured soul, the pained figure above them. They quivered.

Chara had always wondered if, after what they’d done, when they looked in the mirror, they’d still recognise the person looking back at them, and, if they did, if they’d be able to hold their head high.

They blinked twice, forcing the darkness out of their eyes, letting the black tears of empty pain, the tears that crawled with deep hatred, with darkness that nobody other than them would ever be able to bear, run down their face. When they _really_ cried, this was what came out. In the rare moments they did, black hatred was all that had ever escaped them. The hatred, not directed at anyone other than themselves. They shouldn’t cry, not after what they had done. No. They should be a soulless monster who felt nothing at all.

Watching the bird that stood over on the other side, watching it stand there, twitching, Chara sighed sadly. It was just like them. Conflicted, determined to do what it could. But it wasn’t strong enough. It wasn’t good enough to do it. It never seemed to be quite sure if it could lift them. It just seemed to think that hopefully it could.

Following the path around, Chara passed the echo flowers that rang of more passing conversations; that continued to speak regardless. They heard an odd voice emerge from one.

It has been a long time since I saw you around, Chara.

A smile crept across Chara’s face. They knew that voice perfectly well, but it sounded more kindred than normal, and that raised a small relief in their chest. _“Gaster? Is that… Is that you?”_ But then the relief festered into a deep, strong hatred. He had hurt them, they shouldn’t expect that he had changed.

There was the feeling of a hand pressed gently against their shoulder. It made them want to yell out in frustration, because it made them feel guilty for disliking him, but they couldn’t. Perhaps he really had broken them. He evidently hadn’t failed in his ideals, anyway.

I see you still dislike me. Well, I can’t blame you, after what I did.

Chara sighed, _“Sorry about that… I just… I guess I felt… betrayed… That you failed me… But… I guess I’m the one who betrayed you?”_ They hung their head low. _“You’ve a better excuse than what I have for what I’ve done, anyway.”_

The promise had been another failure. When they made it, even though they were on their deathbed, they knew in their heart what was going to happen. Either, the barrier was going to break, or they would die. If they did, they needed a contingency plan.

Agreed, though I could sympathise if I tried…

Chara sighed sadly. _“Really? I made a demon that nearly destroyed the world and killed everyone in it. I got my brother killed, reignited an interspecies war, and now I’m too deep in self-pity to even be worth anyone’s trouble, and you tell me I’m not scum of the earth?”_ They nearly yelled, but then, realising their outburst, curled up, hugging themselves into a tight, enclosed ball. _“I’m… I’m sorry G. I guess I just…”_ They trailed off, feeling tears building up again. They couldn’t even explain why they apologised to him, but it felt right…

The skeletal hand on their shoulder ran gently down alongside them, passing over the smooth contours of their form, comforting them, rubbing gently along their back in a deep embrace.

I am the one who hurt you Chara. Do not hate yourself for my failures...

A gentle, loving smile spread across Chara’s face. _“But I should have been stronger. I should have stopped them.”_ Tears ran down their face, dark globules that dropped into the waters below, staining them a deep black. _“I was so weak and pathetic. I still… I still am.”_

The skeleton let out a sigh, moving gently, running an invisible hand through Chara’s hair, running a non-existent finger down their neck. His words felt false, but maybe that was just Chara’s pity. They hated themselves, after all.

We will meet again Chara. Stay determined.

Chara laughed a gentle but pained laugh, then sighed. They’d try, but his words didn’t exactly comfort them. After what he’d done, they didn’t know if they had it in their heart to forgive him, but they’d at least try. They smiled, _“I will. But can we talk face to face next time I see you?”_

There was no answer, but they hadn’t expected one anyway. Eventually, Chara managed to find the ability to move on, to expel the pain from their legs, to get themselves to move again.

*          *          *

Walking along the dark, straight, silent walkway, Chara felt the touch of what could only be described as a tentacle. They turned to see the squeaking… thing… that could only be described as Onionsan. The long path lead past him, they must have zoned out, because he yelled to get their attention.

“Hi… I’m Onionsan, y’hear?”

A kindred smile spread across Chara’s face, and they sat down next to the water, letting their feet hang against the surface. They spoke, _“Wow. I didn’t think you’d still be here…”_ They sighed sadly, _“Not after all this time.”_

Onionsan seemed to freeze up, retracting a little, but then recovering composure, regaining that crazy, always over-exaggerated, true, honest to God smile.

 “Do- Do I know you? I thought you were just visiting Waterfall…”

A pained chuckle; how could anything be so optimistic like that? How could anything be so happy? How? How could anything have a smile like that in a world like this one?

Chara let themselves relax their tensed muscles. Just because the world was like this, didn’t mean that optimism had died out. Even after what they did. Not everyone was sad, or hurt, or in pain. It was a relief, somehow. So they took it. _“I was…”_ They looked the giant onion in the eye, _“It’s nice here, isn’t it?”_

“You like it here, huh? It’s my big favourite.”

A smile spread across Chara’s face and they let out a laugh that contained centuries of care and decades of pain. _“It’s mine too.”_ They agreed, something that made their heart ache inside their chest, a feeling they wished would stay, wouldn’t ebb or numb… It was a feeling that told them for sure that they still had one. Even after what had happened last time around…

“The water’s shallow here, I have to sit down all the time, but it beats living in a crowded aquarium.”

A kindred nod of agreement; crowds had always made Chara feel pained, feel awful. If the crowds knew who they really were on the inside… If they didn’t like what they saw, then what would happen? So they’d had to act, had to pretend. Where the lies stopped and the truth began was blurred, impossible to detect anymore, mostly because the lie had become the reality, and the good inside them had faded away.

“A-And the aquarium’s full anyway, so I can’t move to the city... Like all my friends did.”

They sighed sadly, they felt so alone, so afraid. It was so dark, so lonely. Were they even doing the right thing? Should they just have let someone kill them and free everyone? Wouldn’t that have been better for everyone? If they’d just let someone kill them, then all monsters would be free. What were they even doing this for anymore? It wasn’t for their friends, was it? No. It was for themselves, because they were selfish, and they wanted to feel better. Because… _because_ …

“U-Undyne’s gonna fix everything, y’hear?”

Chara struggled, almost falling to their knees. This was what had been said of them all that time ago, when they were still in the royal family. This was how people had talked about them. As if they were some kind of saviour or some sort of _angel_. They sighed sadly. They were no angel. They were the exact opposite; they were the demon that comes when you call their name.

Their voice trembled as they continued, **_“Yeah. Undyne’s gonna save you all.”_** They agreed, forcing themselves into the next room, forcing the bile down into the back of their throat, forcing the tears back into their eyes, helping the pain dissolve away.

As they knelt, they sang, a tune thought up in the spur of the moment. A weak, flailing attempt to fix the damage that had already been done. An attempt that was no doubt doomed to failure. They had never imagined themselves as the kind of person to sing, but what had just happened left it as their only comfort.

*          *          *

Sans, surprisingly, had found that he couldn’t sleep; not with that painful image, the vision of Papyrus dying to the same thing over and over and over again, the white bone that shot up through the ground. What had he been thinking? Why had he let himself be talked into doing that?

Chara took a breath in, and began to sing.

**_I don’t know if I can go on,_ **  
**_As if I’m not in the wrong,_ **  
**_Or say that my good will’s gone._ **  
**_Now I’ve been gone so long._ **

The feeling of sins crawling down your back, it’s unmistakable. You can’t take it for anything else. You know exactly what it is. But, no matter how hard you try, you can’t run from yourself.

Sans felt himself quiver, feeling the same anger he’d felt before. His brother had died for the timeline, to make that demon hurt, so they didn’t ever think they were above the consequences of what they had done.

Chara felt a distant resonance in their soul, a familiarity, an understanding. They knew who they were. Pouring this emotion, this pain out, it helped them to cope with the burning inside.

**_I don’t know how you hold on,_ **  
**_With all the things that go wrong,_ **  
**_I thought it was determination_ **  
**_But now I know I’m wrong._ **

Chara reached the second verse when they realised their lines were being accompanied, Shyren, a quiet monster with a passion for music, seemed to have been allured out from the corner by the song.

Sans felt himself drawn out, something about that voice, it was familiar, but he couldn’t figure out whose voice it was. He followed it down the caverns. He daren’t take a shortcut, because he might go past it. It could be in any of the rooms. So he’d have to search each and every one until he found it.

It was like the voice was somehow a kindred spirit, somehow seemed to understand what he was going through, what he was feeling.

**_I’m not sure how I can keep going on without you here._ **  
**_I can’t tell if you’re even somewhere near._ **  
**_So I must stand here in the cold, all alone again._ **  
**_As if it’s something new for me to feel my heart break and then,_ **

Sans moved in slowly, feeling phantom dust under his feet, all sound had vanished, as if the underground had gone empty once again.

**_It’s time for me to fight back,_ **  
**_To stand firmly as I should,_ **  
**_I must hold on, but alas,_ **  
**_Hate myself I would._ **

Shyren seemed somewhat warmed by the passionate performance. Waterfall was always empty.

They sighed, they wanted to give up so badly, but if they did, what would happen? The demon they’d housed wouldn’t give up. So they couldn’t either, could they?

**_I know I don’t have much time but_ **  
**_It’s time,_ **  
**_For me to see what simply put_ **  
**_Deserves to die_ **

Why was Sans feeling like this? Why was he feeling sadness watching that demon die again and again in his mind’s eye? They had killed Papyrus, they had killed everyone? Why was he feeling guilty about what he did to them?

**_I cannot let myself fall again,_ **  
**_Like I did oh way back when,_ **  
**_So it’s time for me to let go of my fear._ **  
**_And be set free by your spear._ **

A cold demeanour ran through Chara’s veins as the darkness seemed to return, as they fell into a tightly concealed crouch, as close to the ground as possible.

They felt their soul shatter again and again as the smiling skeleton gave them exactly what they deserved, punished them for killing his brother, for killing everyone. He shouldn’t regret it. It was what they had deserved.

**_I don’t know if I can go on,_ **  
**_As if I’m not in the wrong,_ **  
**_Or say that my good will’s gone._ **  
**_Now I’ve been gone for so long._ **

Sans felt the sound closer than ever. It was coming from where Shyren usually practiced, but it couldn’t be Shyren. There were two voices singing, not one. And, it was the accompaniment that he recognised as belonging to the singing monster.

**_I don’t know if I can go on,_ **  
**_When I know I’m proven_ **

The movement behind him was sudden and quick; it felt like a pair of hands shoving him forwards, not even letting him stop them or try to take a step back. That was the demons voice, wasn’t it? They were being a siren, weren’t they? But the hands behind him wouldn’t let him turn back. They shoved him into the room.

**_Wrong._ **

Letting the cold embrace of the surrounding area envelop them as Shyren gave a last configuration of notes. Chara sighed sadly, shaking with intense pain hidden behind a mask that was fast crumbling.

The music-loving monster before them hovered over, placing a head on their shoulders, but seeming to understand that Chara wanted peace and quiet.

There was a silence, then, when the singer finally left, Chara spoke up. _“S-Sans?”_ They asked, moving slowly, not out of caution or fear. No. They were beyond fearing death. After all, they deserved to die, in fact, they should be dead right now.

Instead, they moved slowly out of care and understanding, a movement akin to the owner of a terrified pet moving slowly to coax it out of its hiding, or the zookeeper moving slowly about a lion, knowing what it could do, but knowing that if it did that, neither of them would enjoy it.

Sans felt that cold feeling again; why was he feeling his sins, why was he feeling that when around this _demon_? He should not be feeling regrets. He was perfectly justified in hurting them, wasn’t he?

 _“If you want to kill me, you can Sans. I won’t fight it.”_ They took a step forward, tentative, recognising that at any moment, bones could tear up through them, but willing themselves on, forcing their legs to move even if every instinct in their body screamed ‘NO’ as loud as it possibly could. _“After all, I probably deserve it.”_

Sans watched each movement, wanting so badly to crush them between a thousand bones, but feeling something he couldn’t quite describe, a kind of resonance that just wouldn’t let him do it, that held his hand back and kept his eye from flaring up properly. It was like he couldn’t will himself to do what he should have done in a millisecond.

The _demon_ , or was it the _kid_ , took another step forward, this time there was more excitement behind it, they moved faster with each step, and with each step Sans wanted to turn and run away, but something deep inside him wouldn’t let him do it. Something deep inside him was holding him firmly in place, a part of him that he didn’t even know existed, but wanted to crush.

But before he could, a pair of hands gentler and more subtly understanding than any he’d felt before ran across his back, wrapping gentlexperience. _“I’m sorry for all of it, for everything. I really am.”_

y around his body like silk thread as the owner’s voice rang out, trembling with regrets, with sadness, with a deep sorrow no kid their age should ever

Sans felt this aching pain as it ran through him, as it hurt him down to the core. Had he… Had he really killed his brother for nothing? He couldn’t have killed Papyrus for nothing. No. He must be being manipulated. That would be the only explanation for this.

But the harder he looked. The less he found. And in the end, all he had left were their eyes, teary with sadness, with emotional baggage, with regrets that only the two of them could ever understand fully. And before he knew, he found himself sucked into the embrace, pulled into the joint expression of regret, the realisation of understanding and silent agreement.

Sans finally spoke, with a voice that betrayed every single thing he was feeling in just six words. That literally tore the mask of his smile to pieces in an instant.

“Do you...” He trailed off, unable to make his vocal chords work for a moment, then caught himself and continued, “Wanna go to Grillbys?”

A weak smile trailing relief, expressing understanding and now recognising that all the way to the core they were both opposite and the same at the same time, replied. _“Sure.”_ Then smiled, _“I think it’ll do us both some good.”_

With negotiations over, they took each other’s hands, and Sans lead his newfound friend to Grillbys through the use of one of his well-known shortcuts. It was probably about time for them to get to know each other a little better.


	23. Chapter 16: Broken Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And with that, Chara and Sans are _frenemies_ rather than arch-enemies (it's complicated, okay?)
> 
> As for Gaster... We'll find out more about him soon... (Smiles deviously)
> 
> Also, that Alcohol content warning may just apply again this chapter.

Chapter 16: Broken Promises

Grillbys almost felt empty. The usual gangs of dogs and monsters seemed absent. It didn’t take long to see that they were all busy at work. Only the odd unemployed monster hung out, clinging to the corner of the room and shrinking back into the shadows as they entered.

There was a long silence as Sans took a seat. Chara was busily checking sure that Grillby wasn’t threatened by the idea of them being here. It was hard to tell, but he seemed fine.

They took a seat and the loudest fart sound exploded outwards from underneath them. Chara couldn’t help but let out a laugh, accompanied by a suspicious sideways glance in Sans’ direction. They didn’t speak to him yet though, instead, just deciding to let the last resounding echoes of the sound ebb away. He seemed to catch on pretty quickly.

“careful kid. sometimes weirdos put whoopee cushions on the seats.”

Chara stifled a laugh, apparently not well enough, as Sans turned to face them, not the empty-eyed look they had been expecting though, instead a bemused look with the pupils in the centre of his sockets.

“i didn’t have ya pegged as the kind to enjoy comedy.”

Chara gave him an appreciative glance, coupled with a smooth grin. _“I **char-a** bout that sort of thing, if you know what I mean.” _They sighed sadly, looking down into the floor, _“Especially when it’s from a **Sans** ation like you…”_

Sans seemed to sense the tone in their voice, the inwards-directed hatred that lingered behind each and every syllable; the way they sharpened their vowels like a dagger and drove each one into their own vocal chords. It was nothing new to him. He’d seen a fair share of self-piteous kids in the past, but there was something about the one sitting opposite him that was different.

Perhaps it was the fact that they had killed his brother without hesitation, no, they had killed everyone without hesitation the last time around, but when they saw Papyrus die, the anger, the hatred, the pain in their eyes. How could this kid have done that last time if the pain of a single monster made them tear up? It wasn’t possible, was it?

A cold silence of pained understanding hung over the two of them, everything else fading into non-existent background noise as Chara looked Sans in the eye and spoke, a quiver in their voice.

 _“You hate me, don’t you?”_ They asked, then sighed sadly, _“I…”_ They trailed off, looking him in the eye. Their pupils looked wet, tear-stained, quivering, they weren’t lying about what they were saying, that was certain. _“I can’t say I blame you, after what I did. I hate myself for it.”_

Sans usually knew when to be **humerus** , and when to be serious about things, but right now, he couldn’t actually tell. He didn’t know how to help, how best to stop them from tearing their entire being apart right in front of him, so he held their head tightly between skeletal fingers, tilting back so that they couldn’t miss the honesty in his eyes when he spoke.

“kid, i can’t tell ya how to feel, but even i’m startin’ to see you ain’t as bad as ya think, if ya know what i mean.”

There was a quiver, a shudder, and then, definitively tearing up to the fullest extent Sans had seen any kid do so, ever, they locked their arms around him, it was like they were hugging an old friend. They pressed a head against the blade of his shoulder and ran a hand gently, defeated, down his cheek. They spoke into the side of his coat, muffled, _“I’m so sorry Sans. I- I hurt you, I hurt you so much didn’t I?”_

There was a pause, he nodded _once_ to Grillby, a signal that they were going to need some fries, and probably also the strongest drinks on the house. The fire barman seemed a little worried, wasn’t this kid a little young to be drinking? But seeing them, how hurt they looked inside, he decided to take liberties.

There was a short pause, then Chara continued, _“So many people care about you, care about Papyrus. I… I hurt them all.”_ They exhaled slowly, sadness, guilt in their chest. _“It’s like it always has been. Everyone I touch turns to dust.”_

Grillby returned, laying down the fries and the drinks, then retreating back into the back of his bar. He had no other customers, and he probably should have just offered the kid a glass of water… But he doesn’t touch the stuff, does he?

Sans picked up the fries, taking a couple, holding the pack firmly between his fingers. He always liked the food at Grillbys because of how much grease there was. It helped him, knowing that everything he ate would taste like that. It was the sort of food you should only really eat on a night out, but after so many resets, it was the only kind of food he was still capable of eating. He gave it a moment, then tilted the packet.

Chara took one of the fries, _only_ one, and moved in a little closer, eating it in a quick succession of bites, and making sure to swallow before they continued. They may be a demon, but they’d be damned if they ignored their etiquette. Ok, maybe not damned – that they were already – more like, _more damned_. It still wasn’t the best food they’d ever tasted, but it was good enough for them.

Looking Sans in the eye, they spoke, _“How… How do you keep yourself going, knowing that everything’s just going to end; all going to fall apart; knowing it’ll all turn to dust?”_ There was a faint sense of reminiscence behind their voice, a little bit of admiration too, but mostly, it was still much the same; pain, pain, and more pain.

There was silence between them, they both tucked into a few of the fries, took the odd sip of their drinks, then something unexpected happened.

 _“S- Sans, there’s this place I like in waterfall, just next to where I was. Can… Can we go there?”_ They asked, their voice sounding like it was about to crack into an explosion of tears.

“sure kid.” He gave Grillby a quick nod to say ‘put this on my tab’ and then, making sure to bring the food with them, which wasn’t quite finished yet, took a shortcut to get them there.

Chara looked Sans in the eye and let a faint smile cross their face. _“Please, just… wait here.”_ They asked before walking out of view, leaving Sans to stand there and look across at the crumbling ruin.

He didn’t know what it did. Only that it had been there ever since he was a kid himself. He’d always thought it was a bit sad, seeing a monument broken like that, but with the king so busy hunting humans to satisfy his grief, the truth was, he probably didn’t have time to maintain it.

Chara sighed, holding an umbrella in one hand as they returned. It would be great, really great if they could just believe their lies for once, if, for just a moment, they’d stop seeing a flaming blue eye, or bones rushing out of nowhere from behind them.

They reached the statue, carefully, as if the statue could turn to dust if they did it wrong, putting the umbrella over it, sheltering it from the downpour above.

The music, a sweet tune, played across the cavern, and Chara fell to their knees. The memories were flooding back, an overwhelming torrent of regret that knocked them clean off their feet and sent them tumbling head over heels in anguish.

*          *          *

“Howdy! You’ve fallen down, haven’t you? My name’s Asriel, what’s yours?”

Chara felt their eyes flicker, drifting open and shut like the lens of a broken camera. Their head was ringing, their chest twisting in and out, left and right. They felt like they were going to throw up. But weren’t they supposed to be dead? Was this heaven? It didn’t look, or feel like heaven, so it must be hell.

They shivered, letting out a pained groan, _“It… Doesn’t matter”_ They managed, their limbs giving way underneath them, landing them flat on their face in an explosion of pain that rocketed through every part of their body.

They were able to catch a glimpse of the owner of the voice, a small goat monster who smiled back at them with more love than they’d ever seen from every single person on the surface. _“Am I… Am I dead?”_ They asked, shakily.

A sweet laugh, the sweetest laugh they’d ever heard, one that made them want to hug the thing standing over them, but recognise that they couldn’t due to their injuries.

“Mum, Dad! Over here! I’ve found a human, I think they’re hurt!”

Chara practically begged him to stop, if they weren’t in agony, they would have screamed out how terrible a person they were, that they should just be killed, not healed; that they didn’t deserve to live. But instead, they were picked up by a pair of ginormous soft hands.

By the end of the week, they were the newest member of the undergrounds’ royal family, an act of kindness that they hadn’t ever expected to receive. It made them feel that perhaps they could learn how to love, how to care. That maybe these naïve creatures could teach them how to feel compassion again.

*          *          *

“you really are _them_ , aren’t you?” Sans asked them, voice piquing with intrigue, interest, and an element of surprise.

Chara sighed sadly, _“How long have you known for?”_ they asked, taking another handful of fries in a flailing effort to comfort eat.

“i suspected it since the lady behind the door made me promise to keep you safe.”

Chara laughed a little, a weak, hurting laugh. _“You really do have a habit of breaking your promises, don’t you?”_ They smiled playfully, taking some more fries, then grasping the neck of their drink in their hand and tilting the head back, letting it slip down their throat, cooling it a little, making it a little less difficult to talk. Then they sighed sadly, _“Not like I’m any better though…”_

“who’s promise ‘you break?”

 _“I don’t think I can keep my promise to your brother, Sans… If… If I tell you, you’ll look at me differently, you’ll… you’ll hate me, everyone will, won’t they?”_ They quivered, shook with pain as tears escaped from their eyes and bled down their cheeks.

Sans barely kept his smile up. He was the one who had killed Papyrus. He now deserved to burn in hell as much as they did, and that was a very, very painful realisation indeed.

Chara turned down, facing towards the ground as the sound echoed out from the statue. _“I might as well say why I’m here, and how we really died…?”_  They breathed out, slowly, then moved back, pressing their back to the wall and slipping down to sit next to him. The music had stopped. _“Just… promise me you won’t tell anyone about this, ok?”_

“you know i’m gonna break that too, right?”

Chara smiled a little, taking another sip and washing it down with a handful of fries. _“Yeah, but it’s worth a shot, right?”_ They reminded him, a pain in the back of their throat; they felt like they were being strung from the gallows, digging their own grave. And then, they sighed sadly, it was time to tell him the truth.

*          *          *

_When I arrived in the underground, I was welcomed with open arms. Within a week, I was adopted into the royal family. I guess they didn’t know I didn’t fall._

_Life on the surface, it wasn’t exactly good. Humans really aren’t good people, when push comes to shove, and the ones I was living with, they were really cruel. So I left to a place where I knew they’d never follow, I found a deep hole, and then I decided to leave that pointless world and move on to the next._

_I should have died. A kid like me, they deserved someone better, someone like Frisk. I shouldn’t have been here, here in what can only be described as heaven. No, a kid like me should be burning in hell, even now, for their sins._

_While I was there, I was told, again and again about the barrier, how a human absorbing the soul of a boss monster could pass through the barrier. I promised my brother, Asriel, that we’d see the surface one day. I promised him that we all would make it up there._

_We passed through the barrier; we only had to get **six**. But, I was too weak. I wasn’t strong enough to make him. I wasn’t strong enough to kill the **six** I had to, to get the souls we needed, to do what mattered the most… I was… I was so weak. And- and he died because of my mistake. He died because I couldn’t keep my promise, because I couldn’t find the will to kill them._

*          *          *

Chara felt a skeletal arm wrapping around them, it was about as gentle as the sharp corner of a wooden table. They held firm, trying to reject it, but they couldn’t, somehow they knew that if Sans was willing to give it to them, they _must_ deserve it, and as for the arm, it was the thought that counted, right?

They sighed sadly. _“When I woke up, I was confused. I thought I still needed power, so I killed and killed as much as I could, I increased my LV, like Flowey told me to, so I’d become stronger. But…”_ They took the drink in their hand and brought it to their lips for the third time in three minutes, _“It only made me feel weaker.”_

Sans froze. That sounded about right. Only a killer knew what LV felt like, so they were definitely that, but he couldn’t quite understand how they had brought themselves, if they were who they claimed to be, to kill their parents and their adoptive family.

“don’t mean to be pushy here kid, but how’d you go from slaughtering random monsters to killin’ your family?”

Chara’s smile was unexpectedly understanding, not cold or violent or cruel, but empathetic, regretful, underlined by a thick layer of remorse. _“I guess I must have woken something up, I don’t know if it was a part of me all along, or if it had been created by my death, but something, an inner demon. It took control.”_ They watched their hands and legs move without their command, their body breathing in and out, not theirs anymore, climbing steps with legs that did not warrant them even an inch of control as they rose up.

They looked away. _“At first it was simple suggestions, like ‘You want to become stronger, maybe killing them will help you’.”_ They sighed sadly, falling right into Sans’ arms, _“But by the time we reached Toriel, we couldn’t resist what it said. It told us to walk forward, and no matter how much we pulled back, our legs moved forward.”_

“we?” Sans asked, arching his brow in a suspicious manner, giving them a sidelong glance, as if he had found some kind of flaw in their story, as if to say ‘ **nice try kid, but I know you’re lyin** ’. He remembered how that voice had reminded him so carefully of how the kid had hurt Papyrus last time around, how they should kill him before the kid gets a chance. Was that the same voice? Were they both victims of the same villainous disease?

No. That was his error. He shouldn’t have even considered his brother a pawn for a second, but he had, and now he’d never get him back. It was fair penance though, so he was willing to let it slide… After all, he’d been through worse.

Chara shuddered, _“Frisk and I. We were both prisoners, forced to act out the demon’s will, and the worst part, in order to kill, one of us had to do it.”_ A sob escaped them and they curled up into Sans arms, _“I wanted to do it all myself, to save them from pain they didn’t deserve, but Frisk wouldn’t let me. They took my family for me, Toriel, Asgore, Asriel. But I took the people they couldn’t; Papyrus, Undyne… You…”_

They quivered in his arms, _“I shouldn’t have come back, if… If I was ever your friend, I wouldn’t have come back, not then, and definitely not now!”_ They shook with a deep pain that felt like their soul splitting a hundred times over, _“I’m so sorry Sans, I caused you so, so much pain, I hurt you so badly!”_

Sans let them sink their head into his chest, into his lap, and rested his gently against their shoulder. Nobody should have to watch their body walk through a world, killing everyone they care about, without the ability to fight back or confront it, without the ability to so-much-as resist it or choose for themselves.

He leaned in. “no- **body** should ever go through that, I tell ya. be **corpse** of how much it’d hurt.” He joked, something that only raised a pained guttural laugh and a hand that gently ran down the side of his skull, caressing his cheek.

 _“I’ve… I’ve been trapped in this nightmare for so long, stuck in an endless loop from which I cannot escape. Getting to the surface, it barely appeals anymore, knowing I’ll just wind up back here, probably with no memory of it.”_ A solitary tear ran down their cheek, crossing onto Sans skull and dripping off onto the ground, _“I gave up trying to go back a long, long time ago, but… I guess maybe good food, laughs, and great friends, is finally helping me move on?”_

Sans leaned against them, and both let the tears run down each other’s eyes to the opposing cheeks, let arms interlock with torsos, legs fall to either side as they both leaned down, pressing cheeks against the cold, soft ground.

Chara looked up at the crystals in the ceiling, feeling the locket around their neck all over again, feeling the release of the pain each time the skeleton staring them in the face had killed them. They sighed, turning a head towards a small, long-forgotten rock to which they had pledged allegiance a long time ago.

As the music box began to play again, filling the background with the theme that he had loved so much back then, they felt his hand on their shoulder, his warm voice.

*          *          *

“Chara, you said the stones are similar to stars, but, what do stars look like?” His delicate white fur, the colour of pure, innocent snow, almost radiated warmth into the dark air around him. His soft paws with the cute pattern on the front as they clasped his hand, not wanting to lose him, not ever.

His beautiful fluffy ears gave out white purity underneath the faint light above him. He was so beautiful, so innocent… It was a great injustice that such a lovely, innocent creature could be trapped down here underground, while humans ruled over the surface with cruelty and indifference.

Chara couldn’t help but laugh a gentle, loving laugh. _“The stars are beautiful, innocent, and pure ‘Ree, just like you.”_ They gave his fur a quick rustle and went back to brooding for a moment, then turned to face him. _“Asriel, do… do you hate humans?”_

Asriel seemed to freeze. If they were using his full name, then they were serious about this, something that made him freeze up with worry. They were his best friend, a human, nonetheless, and they thought he hated humans? “No, Chara, I don’t hate you at all…”

Chara sighed, even after what humans had done, he still would love them? This was what they meant. He deserved to be on the surface, not the humans. It was a curse to be one of those vile creatures.

Chara leaned into his waiting arms, accepting an offer for a hug as the music played one last time, then there was silence, and they released him, speaking with strength behind every word. They were _DETERMINED_ to make this happen for him, no matter what it cost. They smiled a little and picked a random rock, small, almost forgotten, on the ceiling above.

_“Asriel. I promise I’ll get us to the surface.”_

**_“I promise.”_ **


	24. Chapter 17: My Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love the idea of Chara and Sans sitting down and talking things out, and these two enemies suddenly realizing that, really, they're not all that different in circumstance, that, in truth, they've both suffered through a ridiculous amount of pain, and are just taking out all their inner conflict on the people around them.
> 
> Anyway, that conversation is coming to a close as we approach the midpoint of the book.

Chapter 17: My Destiny

Chara’s head pressed up against his lap, their eyes closed, Sans shuddered. The kid had fallen asleep in his arms, like they felt, even after what they had both done, that they belonged there. He couldn’t blame them for being tired though. After Papyrus, he hadn’t gotten any sleep either. That was why he’d drifted off so easily last time.

Their chest was rising slowly up and down, not laboured or frantic, just peaceful, relaxed breathing; the air they exhaled tickling his ribs as it slipped through. It was surprising, how peaceful they were after what they’d done already, and after what he’d done to them…

They’d both made horrendous mistakes. Sans couldn’t hide that fact. He was embroiled in some pretty nasty experiments, and they’d killed a whole load of people… But, seeing how they couldn’t even muster up the will to kill anything, he was beginning to wonder if it was really them.

 _“Sans?”_ A weak voice asked, a voice it took Sans about ten seconds to figure out was coming from their mouth, and a voice that was definitely not the same one as last time around.

“yeah, kid?” He replied, indicating that he was listening and trying incredibly hard to hide the fact that he’d failed to recognise it was their voice speaking to him.

 _“Do- Do you think I’m a demon?”_ They asked, not opening their eyes. Their breathing faltered a little, but they soon returned to as relaxed a state as before.

“nah.” He felt a hand interlocking with his, a touch filled with concern. He froze for a moment. How, even for a second, could he have believed a kid like this deserved to burn in hell? Was he blinded by rage at the death of his own brother? Was that not the same rage that probably drove them? He laughed gutturally, “maybe a bit of a brat… but not a demon.”

Chara laughed, a gentle, kindred laugh, but then they started to snivel as the memories of what they had done came flooding back. _“I hurt you, it was… it was unforgivable. Why? Why are you forgiving me for it?”_ They asked, sounding like they were on the verge of tears.

Sans couldn’t agree more. They _had_ definitely hurt him, and it was definitely unforgivable, but what he’d done to them was just as terrible. He didn’t agree with what they’d done, but he had a feeling they didn’t either, and the same was true for what he’d done. It was almost funny, that the killer and the person who tried to stop them were just as bad as each other in the end. As for their voice, it wasn’t anything like the one that had thought him; there was no anger, no frustration at all. He sighed, “we both know it wasn’t you.”

Their breath slowed and their eyes opened, looking at him, pupils dancing back and forth in a manner as erratic as his dodging, tears lurking just behind the lids. _“Do you… Do you really think that?”_ Their tone was so full of hope, so kind, so understanding. It hurt him to just hear them ask that.

“if it was, you woulda done it again by now.”

Chara exhaled a long, slow, shaky breath. _“I… I wish I could have got to know you better.”_ Then they sighed sadly, _“You’re a much better person than you give yourself credit for, Sans.”_

Sans looked them in the eyes, seeing the pain. How many lives had this kid lived? How many times had they gone through hell now? And if so, how much emotional baggage were they carrying on their shoulders? “i woulda said the same about you kiddo.”

Chara brushed up against him tighter, resting their head on his shoulder, letting the tears escape, trickled out in a merciless torrent. _“I’m not meant to cry…”_ They laughed a laugh laiden with hysteria, with tragedy, with pain, _“My name, it means ‘joy’.”_ They sighed sadly as he took their head in his arms, _“I picked it because I thought I’d be happy down here.”_

Sans let out a long, deep exhale, so he wasn’t the only parentless fool who’d had to come up with a name. He and Paps had named themselves after the fonts they spoke in, but naming yourself after an emotion, that was probably much more _emotional_ , “i know the feeling kid.” He mused.

There was a moment of silence, followed by another. It was not awkward silence, or pained silence, just a seemingly mutual agreement that no words were required to improve the situation.

And before they knew it, they both found themselves; in each other’s arms, the sweet sound of the music box in the background behind them; drifting off into a mutually sorrowful sleep.

Both suffered from nightmares normally. Sans’ nightmares consisting of his brother turning to dust in front of his eyes, only the cape left behind, or the judgement hall, where he had to fight for days and days on end without reprieve, while Charas had them watching Asriel, watching Toriel, Asgore, Papyrus, seeing them turn to dust over and over and over. It was _all their fault._

But, lying there in each other’s arms, neither was woken by a fever dream or a terrible nightmare, neither jolted upright, screaming, nor cried even a single tear in sleep.

They lay there peacefully in each other’s arms, the killer and the judge, for the first time since the start, feeling like they had found somewhere where they belonged, and someone who truly understood them.

*          *          *

Sans had eventually let them move on with their journey, it had been a rather delicate parting of ways, with less a goodbye, more a hopeful ‘see you soon’ at the end.

As Chara walked through the over-long, rain-covered hallways, Monster Kid gleefully splashed his way through the puddles beside them. It felt just like it did the last time around, only, perhaps even a little worse, knowing that they were responsible for whatever happened to this kid next.

What if they weren’t strong enough? What if they gave in and the third regained control over them? Then everyone would die, and it’d… It’d all be their fault. No. They… They couldn’t give up hope, if not for themselves, it would be for everyone else.

_“Man, Undyne’s sooooooo cool! She beats up bad guys and NEVER loses. If I was a human, I’d wet the bed every night…”_

Chara let out a weak smile, they themselves had an idol… or… they _had_ had one. But then, after their death, the idol, he’d been corrupted, burdened. He’d killed.

They still thought he was amazing, but they’d idolised him because of how pure he was, how he wouldn’t hurt anyone. It hurt, deep down, to imagine that what they’d done could have possibly ended with their idol a broken mess… to an extent, even more than they were…

Chara sighed, they had to stop his mindless droning about Undyne. They couldn’t let it continue, knowing what they’d done last time around… They needed something new. They spoke, _“Hey kid, do you know my name?”_

Monster kid didn’t even notice, now he was fantasising about how if Undyne came to his school she would beat up all the teachers… Or not, after all, what wrongs could a teacher have ever done? Surely they were innocent, and… Surely Undyne would _never_ hurt the innocent.

**_“Kid, do you know my name?!”_ **

Monster kid seemed to stutter, finally noticing that he was being asked a question, he froze up and replied with the only thing he could think of in two seconds. “Uh… No?”

Chara laughed a little, a gentle laugh that caused the armless biped to blush a little, _“Do you want to know my name?”_ They asked, glad that he’d finally stopped talking about Undyne for just. One. Second.

And then they emerged into the clearing, with the view of the monster capital, _New Home_. The castle, the home in which they’d lived with their family before they’d made the mistake of trying to die. Chara’s heart sank in their chest and they fell to their knees.

“Yo, are you… alright?”

The kid’s voice was quivering with fear, just like it had been the last time around. Of course, this was absolutely the perfect moment to see him standing in their way, the hands that were not quite their own raising the knife and bringing it down as hard as physically possible. So Chara suddenly started to shudder with tears.

“Wh-Why are you crying?”

Kid moved in as if to kneel down beside them.

Chara pushed him away in absolute frustration. He shouldn’t get any closer. He just shouldn’t! They’d hurt him if he did, wouldn’t they? Like they had done to everyone else last time and this time… Papyrus was dead, Toriel was probably heartbroken, and Sans was even more depressed than usual.

“O-Ok… But my parents used to tell me that if someone is sad I should try to comfort them, so…”

What a monster-like thing to say. Chara mused, holding their head in their hands in a failing attempt to hide the pain on their face. Their parents had told them that if they cried they were weak, so they mustn’t cry _or else_. Only a monster’s parents would be fine with them crying or being sad. A human’s parents would yell at them and tell them to go to hell.

They were in hell now, weren’t they? A part of them would have hoped their parents would be happy at this… development, but this part was long gone.

Chara spoke, _“Do you remember me at all?”_ Then they sighed. Everyone else remembered, so if this kid didn’t, that’d be a welcome first.

“Wait… Are you the kid from my dream? N-no… but they were wearing a blue and purple shirt, you can’t be them.”

Chara looked him in the face, and he must have seen the crimson eyes shining back. Whenever Chara was sad, their eyes quite literally flashed red. When they were angry, their eyes were only dark and empty. Chara turned away, hiding their face behind their arm, _“I’m such a horrible person, aren’t I?”_

“B-But, how… It was… a dream, right?”

The hope in his voice; it made Chara feel like their soul was shattering a couple of hundred times over in rapid-fire succession. Their breathing staggered a little as they shuddered, suffering in silence; preferring that to letting anyone know of their pain. When it passed, they spoke again, quieter this time, _“No, it wasn’t a dream, it was a memory, and I killed you.”_

Monster Kid’s brow furrowed in confusion, why did they seem so… shaken up about what they’d done, evil people weren’t meant to feel regret like that, were they? And, why had they told him? They could have just let him go on without knowing.

Wait… if it was a memory, and he didn’t remember it, did that mean that he had been stuck in a time loop of doing the same thing over and over? Was that why they’d started crying? Because he had been saying the same thing he’d said last time, and they couldn’t stop seeing his death?

“Well… I know evil people don’t regret things, so…?”

Chara’s eyes flashed an empty black before going back to their normal hue. _“But I killed you!”_ Their breath caught in their throat like sandpaper, leaving it dry and itchy, _“You should be angry about that!”_

There was a silence, almost some kind of mutual agreement, then, Chara sighed sadly, looking down at their feet, which were curled up into a tight ball in front of them. They wanted so badly to tear their legs off, then at least they’d have the same situation the poor monster before them had, but they lacked the physical strength, so instead settled for driving their nails into the skin as hard as they could and slowly dragging them down.

 _“Do you know why I did that creepy face?”_ They asked. Their voice was now hoarse, pained. They noted the kid waiting, and then they sighed, _“I did it because I wanted you to run away, before I ended up hurting you.”_ Their face contorted in rage, but not directed at him, directed at themselves. The nails dug deeper again, drawing a little blood. _“Before you ended up like everyone else.”_

The kid shuddered, “But I wouldn’t run away… I wanted to be like Undyne so badly and… and…” Their eyes met, a sudden understanding running between them, understanding that the kid had never stood a chance, and that by refusing to run, by following his idol so blindly, he’d signed his own death warrant. “You shouldn’t blame yourself for me getting in your way.”

The nails were now red at the ends with fresh blood. _“But if I’d just been stronger, just been a better person… You would have lived.”_ Then Chara sighed, looking down at the ground. The last sentence was barely a mutter, but could still be heard. _“You’d all be free…”_

“Yo, don’t hate yourself for that, ok? The world must have given you a second chance for a reason, right?”

Chara sighed sadly. The kid was right, of course, but why would _they_ have been given a second chance? Why not Frisk? After all, they deserved it more, didn’t they? What were they meant to do with it?

Maybe this was why the third one controlled them so easily, because ever since they died, they hadn’t been capable of making their own decisions out of a deep rooted fear that they’d mess something up. The third one had offered a calm voice in their panic, and they’d been willing to follow that voice to the ends of the earth, after all, the voice would make a decision better than any they could have made. That was evident, given what their last decision had done to their brother.

*          *          *

The kid didn’t have arms, but if he did, he would have certainly offered Chara a hand up onto the ledge. Instead, he offered them his shoulders. Chara knew how delicate monsters were, so refused the offer, instead, grasping at the top of the outcrop and painfully dragging their stomach over the lip, feeling it cut into their chest. They _deserved_ that.

Once the kid had left, Chara let their feet dangle over the ledge for a short while, leaning back to look up at the not-stars that hung serenely above them. They’d promised to show Asriel the _real_ stars, but, because of what they did, he’d never see them again.

What was the purpose of their reincarnation anyway? The last time, when the third one had brought them back, they’d foolishly believed it was _power_. But now, they were still here, and they weren’t chasing power anymore. So, really, why had they been brought back? What was their purpose?

Chara hated making decisions. After Asriel, they’d vowed to never make a plan again. But, they were wondering now if that was what they’d need to do. There was nobody controlling them or telling them what to do. Did that mean they could now make their own destiny? Could their story write itself?

As they climbed to their feet, they began to move through the next room. Humans were evil. Humans had started a war, without warning, with no good cause, slaughtered thousands of the lovely, kindred monsters without a single casualty.

Chara looked at the blood on their hands, the marks on their legs. _They were human._ But they had always wished they were anything but.

They followed the silent, empty boardwalk, feeling the echos from last time as to how the spears had shot up underneath them, wishing that one would shoot up, impale them, then maybe there’d be one less human in the world. They reached a dead end. Armoured footsteps approached behind them. Undyne held out a spear before them, rose it up.

The bridge was sliced into two, and they plummeted down into the darkness below, but as they watched the roof above them swinging over their eyes, as they followed the crystals, drew out make-shift constellations, found the star Asriel had declared in their name, they couldn’t help but smile.

They landed and everything went black. But none of it mattered.

_“It’s time to decide my fate.”_


	25. Intermission 6: Darker.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promised you'd find out a bit more about a certain royal scientist.
> 
> Unlike characters in this book, I don't break my promises.
> 
> Oh, and if you're looking for something to listen to here, then you could always listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I237ZiR5myA).

Intermission 6: Darker.

Chara appeared to be unconscious for now. _Perfect._ Gaster let a small smile cross his face as he moved in. They were fast asleep, which gave him time enough to decide.

Without Papyrus, Undyne and Alphys could not be befriended, so a pacifist ending was out of the question for Chara. _They wouldn’t be able to stop him now that the pieces were falling into place anyway._

Their new friendship with Sans was both troubling and unexpected, but it didn’t matter, because Sans had proven to be controllable with just the right amount of gentle persuasion, and soon, he could be used to put the last piece into place.

But for now, it was important that nobody believed he was a threat. Then he could bring himself back into reality and end the suffering, the resets forever.

Sans had proven to be a mere pawn in this game, and soon, so too would everyone, Chara, Frisk, even the third one they called the player, it was all playing into his hands. Soon enough, he would be able to destroy the humans grip on this world altogether, and when that was done, he’d be able to get what he wanted, what he’d wanted all those years ago; to break the barrier and destroy humanity.

He’d learned from his mistake last time. He wouldn’t let Chara do anything to stop him this time. The child was weak. Feeling sorry for themself, apologizing for what they’d done, how they’d been the one to push him into the abyss. It was amusing, how pitiful humanity was. It made Gaster want to wretch.

Gaster smiled, summoning a viewpoint into another area of the void. Watching again as his enemy’s adoptive parents cried, wept even over the death of both their children in one day. How they’d fought, how they’d split. The underground was divided now, and if your enemies rips themselves to pieces, that is defeat in its utmost form.

Watching Sans as they killed Papyrus, how Chara wept from behind the wall of bones. He let out a laugh that was most certainly his own. He wanted them to suffer for what he’d done, and it didn’t matter who was hurt by it, it’d all be reset anyway, wouldn’t it.

But for now, he had to keep them going, he had to get them to the end, where they could tear open the world and let him return to it. So he could finally finish what he’d started all those years ago.

He bent down, running a hand through their hair, feeling the empty line where their locket would have been. It felt satisfying, being so close to finally getting revenge, but it was so far away.

Gaster smiled, walking away as they began to wake, passing through the next segment of the void, watching the visions of the future, how they would fight the third one, and how they would win, but tear open the world in the process of killing one who was not a part of it. How he would be able to return and destroy everything, everyone they had fought for. This would be his **_final experiment._**

There was a brief silence as he passed through into the nonexistence in which he had sown the seeds for this. He had let the player into this world for this sole purpose, to show the monsters how evil humanity could be. To kill them over and over until they all had no choice but to take action.

He laughed again, watching their pain as Sans fought them in the final corridor. He had given Sans help with that, given him his blasters, his techniques, his weapons, to hurt them as much as he could, they hadn’t quite broke, but the frail, damaged branch was much easier to snap than the strong, fresh one, so it would only be a matter of time.

It was perfect too, as the player had taken the name of his failed experiment, created a file in their name. He hadn’t known it’d chain them to them, but it was a serendipitous gain. It meant that they were now even more damaged than he could have ever hoped. It wouldn’t take much at all to push them over the edge, to break them… to make them kill him again. And once dust was on their hands, their ‘happy ending’ would be gone forever.

But one thing he was soon going to change… It was time to stop using the kids to do his work for him, and start using someone more… reliable.

He moved through the void, appearing next to a woman, a vendor with eight eyes and a smile that rivalled his own.

He placed a hand on the spider girl’s shoulder, letting out a deep breath, “Hello again Muffet. I need you to do something for me.”

Muffet seemed content, taking a sip of some purple tea that was laced with the juice of spiders, she laughed a laugh that was familiar, she was after all, a distant relative of his, and one of many vendors he used to watch the underground.

“Ahuhuhuhu~ Of course dear, what is it?”

Gaster let a smooth, sharp smile spread across his face, reaching a hand into her chest, gripping her soul tightly to make sure she understood that he was serious, “You will not lift a finger if a human comes through here. If you see a human, no matter how much they detest spiders, you will not touch them.” He relinquished his grip for only a moment, then looked the spider woman in the eyes. Doubt. He needed to crush that seed before it grew. “If you do, I will kill every single spider in the underground in front of you, do you understand?”

The woman let out a quick nod, fear in her eyes.

“O-Of course dearie. I’ll do whatever you want.”

Gaster smiled, “Good.” He helped himself to some of the merchandise, refusing to pay even a penny to the cause; spiders leaving the ruins? What a stupid idea! On the way out, he made sure to grind one of them to dust for good measure, and then he was gone.

Now he just had to pull back his forces and let them think they were safe. Granted, a single attack would prove useful here, but then… he could sit to one side. He’d learned through many timelines not to attack directly, or he’d be defeated. After all, _good things come to those who wait._

He had thought killing Papyrus in front of them would destroy their resolve, but it seemed to have only strengthened it, so he would crush every ounce they had until they were nothing but empty inside, by offering them a happy ending, a second chance, only to tear it all away. And then, when they were at their weakest, when they had no _determination_ , he would take their soul and use it to finish what he had started.

It was time to destroy the ‘ _hopes and dreams’_ of all monsters once and for all.


	26. Chapter 18: One monster's trash...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're probably asking a whole load of questions about a certain badster.
> 
> They'll all be answered in due time...
> 
> In the meantime, let's get back to the fallen child, shall we?

Chapter 18: One monster's trash...

** Diary entry #3: **

_Perhaps it is because I’m feeling lonely, sentimental… regretful. But, I have recently decided to keep a diary of my experiences and thoughts. Hopefully it will allow me to remove some of the excess emotion, so I can remain… presentable… in front of the massive crowds of monsters. They think I’m such a great person. I wish I could tell them, but I don’t have the heart to…_

_Since I arrived here, in the underground, since I fell, Asriel and the Dreemurrs have taken good care of me. They found me, when I landed… well, Asriel did, and then he took me to his parents, who took me in as their own._

_They seem to think I’m going to be a great prince, but… I wasn’t born in, and I don’t deserve it –I’m not a good enough person. I’ll let them down, I’ll fail them._

_If they knew who I was… what I’d done, they’d probably have never picked me, they’d probably have left me to die on the flowers. And now that they’ve taken me in, I can’t crush their hopes by telling them like that, as I said earlier, it’ll break their hearts._

Chara placed the pen down, letting out a deep breath, they slipped the diary back into its hiding place, the dimple in the frame of the drawing of a flower they had made, and then swung their legs, with much reluctance, onto the thick-mattressed bed that still didn’t feel like it was _theirs_. They felt a pain in their chest. The Dreemurrs were such great people, what had the Dreemurrs done to deserve someone as horrible as them?

They smiled a little as their adoptive brother let out something between a snort and a snore, as if mocking their chain of thought.

 _“Goodnight Asriel.”_ They said, the love, no, adoration in their voice for the perfect creature across from them wasn’t even concealed in the slightest, and, though they received no reply, even as they pulled the covers into a tighter fit over him, sitting back down and rolling into their sleep, they knew if he heard, he’d probably do that lovely blush of his and then try to deny it with a failed compliment directed at them; a compliment that, obviously, would be fake. There was nothing to compliment them about – they had zero redeeming qualities.

Then they flicked off the light, and went to sleep.

** Diary entry #34: **

_The family vacation to Waterfall was very interesting. It seems these monsters are fascinated by the idea of stars…Why do creatures so pure have to be sealed in a prison while vile, hateful humans roam the surface? I myself being one of them, I can say with certainty that, if a monster soul is made of kindness, compassion, and love, a human soul must be made of selfish beliefs and hatred. Even in saying that, I am proving myself correct._

_Anyway, I contemplated jumping from the waterfall by the garbage dump, to join the endless cycle of trash in which I so clearly belong. Needless to say, Toriel and Asgore seem very worried. Did I do something wrong? I deserve death anyway, and it is only a cruel twist of fate for them that I am alive._

_It appears they have decided to not tell the public, and assigned me sessions with the underground’s only therapist – a monster named Dr W.D. Gaster. Even his name gives me the chills. What on earth could W.D. mean anyway?_

_He also, just so happens to be the royal scientist. He created the core._

_Perhaps I can avoid being questioned about why I climbed the mountain, after all… I don’t really like to talk about it all that much… It brings back bad memories. Hopefully being the next Crown Prince will allow me to avoid that._

_Monsters are apparently sealed in here by something called ‘the barrier’ through which anything can enter, but nothing can exit. I am glad that this is the case; that we are all trapped down here, because, if I wasn’t… Well, if the barrier didn’t exist, monsters would have probably been destroyed by humans, which would be a terrible thing. I hope I stay trapped down here forever._

Upon finishing the entry, Chara flipped through the previous ones, there were notes about what they had done. But a few would need to be removed. Gaster would probably ask to see their diary, and a few pages held evidence that he may use against them.

They sighed. No.

Why should they care what he thinks about them? He is not the person they care about, the person they want to make sure they really are kind for. Gaster is not Asriel, so there is no reason to care for what he thinks.

Even so, Chara ripped out the pages of entry #34, #22, and #3, among several others, dropping them from the bench upon which they sat into the river. They left one last memento though, leaving a small note under the bench, just in case anyone ever found it.

_I just wasn’t ready for the responsibility._

Chara then climbed to their feet. They’d need to be back soon, or Toriel and Asgore might worry about them… Or worse still, Asriel would. He was the only real reason they hadn’t jumped off that waterfall weeks ago, and they’d hesitated earlier.

With someone like him in their life, knowing how much he cared, and wanted them around…

_They couldn’t afford not to care anymore._

They shut their diary, pocketed it, and began the quick trudge through waterfall, taking a shortcut or two to get to New Home by dinner time.

*          *          *

The sonorous, unending, merciless ringing in their head and the kindred scent of the flowers, that was what Chara noticed first.

The golden flowers were strange. You could fall hundreds of meters into a patch of them, and somehow, you would survive the landing? Chara sometimes wondered if it was more than that, if… somehow, these flowers had repaid their kindness by eternally granting life for them should they fall upon them.

When Chara clambered shakily to their feet, they let out a deep breath. They were in the garbage dump. It was amusing though. They’d fit right in here.

Barely anyone ever passed through the garbage dump. So they’d used the place to keep a sort of diary, only, they’d gotten rid of it before Gaster… Probably a good thing – if they’d kept it, he would have had even more leverage on them… He would have known exactly what made them tick. And then, if that was the case, they wouldn’t have stood a chance…

Maybe someday they’d be able to make a new one.

Chara sighed sadly. Wading through the water that came right up to their waist, they clambered onto the wooden boardwalk and looked down into the abyss. It was an endless cycle of useless garbage. The resets were just the same – endless cycles of nothing, of meaningless. Sans was right about how none of it mattered, because no matter what you did, it’d all be reset anyway.

They stepped back from the edge, deciding that now was probably not the time to contemplate their existence, to be greeted by a flash of dark grey. There was only one person who wore that sort of attire, and even in none-existence, he hadn’t gotten any less dull.

He was gone again, as quickly as he’d been there. Maybe he wasn’t there. The nature of none-existence meant that he could be there and not there at the same time anyway. Chara felt a pain in their chest, their soul was aching. He was a great man, but they’d corrupted him, just like they did everything else they touched…

They’d erased the best mind in the history of the underground from existence. So if anyone deserved pain, it was them. What they didn’t deserve for it was a second chance. So they spoke. _“Frisk?”_

“I wasn’t sure if you were even going to talk to me again…”

Chara smiled a little. No. No way was Frisk going to be the self-piteous one here. Frisk was NOT going to steal that comfort from them. Frisk should be happy and they should be wallowing in the ground crying their face off. So they continued, _“What made you think I deserved to be brought back?”_

“You’re not a bad person Chara! Stop hating yourself for things you had no control over!”

Frisk’s outburst was unexpected, and to-the-point. In all this time, Frisk had always been the quiet one, and never yelled anything. They were always so kind, and never, ever got frustrated or angry. Chara wanted to be like them, but knew they weren’t strong enough, or good enough, so they’d given up. _“Geez, Frisk!”_ They let out a sombre laugh, _“Anyway, if you want me to talk to you, you could just narrate.”_

There was silence – a silence that phased Chara.

Frisk had always been quiet, but never that quiet, and Chara was sure they would have at least made some devastated comment about Papyrus when he died, but instead, Chara was left in silence, on their own. It was almost as if Frisk was only able to say what something wanted them to.

Chara had been able to say anything when they were out there though, so… They sighed sadly, why wasn’t Frisk talking to them? Did they do something wrong? It wouldn’t be much of a surprise if they had.

“I can’t think of what to say about things though.”

Chara sighed, that was a lame excuse, even on Frisk’s part.  They’d been awfully silent, even from the start. In fact, this was the first conversation they’d had. They smiled a little, _“So, you’re saying, you wanted to talk, but couldn’t, and yet decided not to tell me that you can’t think of anything to say?”_ Chara sighed, taking a seat on the wood and glancing up at the waterfall that cascaded down above them, _“Come on Frisk, that’s the worst lie you’ve told in a century.”_

“I can’t tell you why I’m not saying anything, I’m just not, ok?”

This wasn’t anger, was it? No. Frisk was never angry. This was more like an attempt to protect Chara, but from what? What could be so powerful that Frisk didn’t want Chara to know it existed? It wouldn’t be anything they’d encountered before, so the third one was off the table. But then… Who was it?

Chara sighed, deciding to take the hint and not press them, instead deciding to remove the items from their pockets, now ruined by the waist-deep trash juice. They were certainly inedible. Chara tossed them over the side, then turned back to Frisk, _“You can talk to me if you want, ok?”_

“Ok. I’ll speak to you soon Chara.”

Chara sighed, climbing back to their feet and finishing their wading session. They passed enough heaps of garbage to fill their old room, and were about to move on when-

“You.”

Chara turned slowly, only to hear a splash in front of them, turning back to see a dummy not unlike the one from the ruins hovering gently over the water in front of them. From its voice alone, they already knew it was angry. That was one of the few things you gained from experiencing both an abusive and a loving family. Empathy – knowledge of what voice means what emotion.

“I am a ghost that lives inside a dummy.”

Chara smiled a little, _Jeez – no kidding Sherlock!_ Then they let out some of their breath as the dummy hovered there, idly inspecting the crystals in the cave roof.

“ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!”

The dummy sounded really annoyed now, some might even say ‘mad’. But it didn’t seem all that threatening, after all, it was a training dummy. Its sole purpose was to take beatings. It wasn’t exactly ‘tailored’ for fighting, was it?

“You know what…”

There was an all-too familiar descent into darkness, an all-too familiar pulling on their chest. Chara felt eyes watching, judging them for their sins. They wanted to bawl up and cry. Frisk hated them, Sans hated them, even if he pretended to care, there was no denying it. Undyne had tried to kill them – what they deserved.

Nobody would miss them anyway, so maybe they should just run straight into the bullets – accept his LOVE.

“You’re the worst person I’ve ever met! You eat trash, you talk to trash, therefore… YOU ARE TRASH!”

Chara felt a sudden tearing through their body as a memory jerked them back.

*          *          *

Dr Gaster had a peculiar smile. It was one that seemed to display understanding, but radiated a knowledge which hinted that he could and would be able to think of a solution to any problem. Before the appointment Chara had done some research. It turned out that he was the smartest monster in the history of the underground.

They sighed as he sat opposite them, _“So… how does this work anyway? Am I just meant to… talk to you?”_ they asked, trying desperately to hide the apprehension in their voice. Most likely failing, but, hiding the fear was a way of fighting the fear in itself.

Gaster seemed a little frustrated, was it at them or the fact that the royal scientist had been called off from doing actual work that would benefit the kingdom to listen to a stupid sob story? This was a waste of time to both of them, wasn’t it? And yet he spoke, “I do not know much about human psychology, but that is the way it works down here.”

Chara felt a tinge of apprehension run up their spine upon hearing his voice. There was an undertone that was difficult to appreciate unless you had just the right listening skills, and if you did, you’d notice that no matter how pleasant he sounded, every single word had deep malice and hatred knotted underneath.

Hatred at them.

Chara let out a pained huff, trying to take a more comfortable position, but the more they moved, the less comfortable they got. They eventually settled for the position they’d begun in. They’d wasted even more of the scientist’s time. It was awful.

They spoke, _“Do you know how it feels? Knowing that my kind… my race… is directly responsible for the imprisonment of monsters, knowing how noble they are. I can’t even do a thing to help. I…”_ They trailed off, looking at the ground and hoping that perhaps it might swallow them up. _“I just feel so useless.”_

Gaster seemed to lean in, but when they looked up, he was sat where he had been. Chara’s breath wavered a little, then they continued. _“I don’t deserve this.”_ They spread their arms, as if trying to gesture to the world around them.

 _“The first thing I did when I got here, to the underground, was run, thinking that you’d all kill me.”_ They smiled weakly, a half-hearted effort, _“I know you monsters, in love, in compassion, all pretend I’m kind and good, but… I’m just like the others.”_ They looked Gaster in the eyes, they seemed, and felt so helpless, and yet he gave no embrace. An action they agreed with at last.

The pinpricks in Gasters sockets shook a little, as if understanding, but he seemed to blink them back, force them to stop. “Chara. Do you know how the barrier was created?” He asked, watching as they shook their head and looked down at their feet, refusing to let him, to let anyone see the tears in their eyes.

He slid the pen and paper to one side. Perhaps, even though the royal family were protecting their beloved ‘pet’. Perhaps he would be able to conduct his experiment after all… He had always wondered what a human would do when faced with a choice – their friends’ lives or their life – he had always imagined that they would run, like the cowards they were... So he was going to test his hypothesis. After all, without proof, it would remain only that, a hypothesis.

“The barrier was created by 7 human magicians. A punishment designed to trap all monsters in these dark caverns.” There was a shudder from the human. He decided to tone it down. After all, it was important that they actually made it to the experiment in one piece. “It takes the power of seven human souls to break the barrier, but with just one human soul, a monster may cross.”

Like a switch had been flicked in their head, Chara’s eyes seemed to light up with a realisation. The pain was still there, but pushed back for just a moment; if only a moment. Gaster noted this mentally, he could use this to his advantage. To ensure the best positive outcome for his people…

“Alive, you are indeed useless, a waste of space to us. In fact, talking to you is a genuine waste of my time. But your soul has the potential to free us all. So if you were to die naturally… perhaps we could find a use for you.”

He moved closer as he spoke, making absolutely sure that each and every syllable pushed Chara further back, ensuring that each point hit home.

“But of course, your _loving family_ would never approve if you suddenly took ill…”

He made certain to contradict himself, ensuring that what he said could only ever be interpreted as a mindless suggestion without any thought as to meaning or wider intention, and then took his notepad and pen back in his hands, adding one last note to the end. He smiled. They were responding positively to the stimulus. Now he just had to wait for a mistake, a moment in which finally… the pieces would finally slip into place.

The human before him seemed, if anything, a little anxious as they sat. They didn’t disagree with him… he was right about them, wasn’t he? But… They… they had to stay strong, for Asriel, for Mum, for Dad…

_They had to stay strong._

*          *          *

Chara returned to the present slowly, as if resurfacing from a dream. They looked the dummy in the eye, then leaned back, falling into a relaxed posture and pivoting around the volley of magic, which the dummy wasn’t smart enough to aim away from himself, so it hit him directly in the face.

Of course, the magic did hit them, causing them to gasp, holding their breath after a sharp intake of air. But it was true. They couldn’t give up. If they did, then what would all they had done so far have been for? If they did, Asriel would still be a flower, most likely doomed to die to somebody else in the timeline, their mother would grow lonely again, and their dad… He’d… He’d have to take their soul and shatter the barrier. No. They wouldn’t let that happen.

After what they’d done, just one human; killed all the monsters in the underground… It was pretty much certain that the barrier could _never_ be allowed to break. Not if the surface was anything like it had been for Asriel, anyway…

Chara sighed sadly, as the dummy was chased off by a rain of ghostly tears. But then they looked up and a smile spread across their face. They had thought that they’d never see him again. But there was nothing like a familiar face to lift spirits (both figuratively and literally).

When Napstablook entered, he was about to speak, but they didn’t even let him, instead, they just stepped slowly forward, placing arms around him in a gentle manner, not with full effort, they couldn’t find the energy to do that. Being technically dead, they didn’t pass through him.

“Oh.... hi......... I scared off your... friend, didn’t I.....? Oh no..... you looked like you were having fun...........”

Chara just gave a cautious smile, _“Nah, t‘s fine.”_ They informed him callously.

They shuddered a little, _“I didn’t think I’d even see you again”_ Then they thought back to how they’d met him in the ruins and continued, _“About the last time round, I’m… so… so-”_ They were cut off mid-sentence.

“Oh no. Listen, darling! My cousin just misunderstood something, that’s all!”

Chara felt their heart in the back of their throat, turning with speed, but also pain to see the underground’s biggest star lounging in the corner of the room. He was in his full body, which was strange, given he hadn’t debuted it yet… Chara didn’t know how to react. They’d… They’d killed Mettaton in a single hit, in cold blood last time around. They didn’t deserve- No. They had to be strong.

They sighed, _“Mettaton? I didn’t know you’d already…”_ They trailed off, then reclaimed the last words of the sentence, _“…your body.”_ They looked substantially downtrodden. It was pathetic that they were so focused on looking down into the ground.

Mettaton’s booming voice seemed to return with even greater vigour, “Why darling, I thought I’d prepare you a new show for this time around. One with more drama… more action… MORE BLOODSHED!”

Chara smiled a little, but they were trying their hardest to be sad, like they deserved. Then a metal arm wrapped around them and practically dragged them forwards. “We’ll talk over the script tonight. I expect you can remember it, given how good you are at acting.”

Chara would have probably asked him what he meant by that, but, by the time they reached the door, they were already passed out from exhaustion. The sound of Mettaton insisting they got somewhere comfortable to sleep and the feeling of the soft mattress behind them didn’t stop it whatsoever. As their eyes drifted shut, one question seeped through their mind. A nagging question, but one they couldn’t find the energy to ask out loud.

_What kind of ghost has a **bed** anyway?_


	27. Chapter 19: Echoes of the past.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, this is the chapter that passes the word count midpoint.
> 
> Anyway, for the fourth action scene in the whole book, how about we listen to [something a bit more serene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTzICQVJSJo) by [Kamex](https://www.youtube.com/user/GreatGabite)
> 
> Have fun, and keep reading - you're half way there! ;)

Chapter 19: Echoes of the past.

‘The script’, as Mettaton called it, was simply a blank page when he handed them, something that made Chara squint. Was this a joke? Were the words written in white, or size 2 font? That sounded like something Mettaton might do…

Mettaton seemed to notice their confused expression, the furrowing of their brow. So he spoke again. “That’s right. There _is_ no script! With so many things different to normal, a script would only trap us, encase us. Like that, there would be no **dramatic tension**!”

Chara couldn’t help but smile at him. That definitely wasn’t how dramatic tension worked. He was just looking for an excuse to ditch the script. They welcomed it though. It’d make things a little more interesting. However, why was he ditching the script?

Yet again, he seemed to sense what they were thinking, and replied immediately, “Without the usual script, there will be no unsettling reminders of last time around… something we can _all_ appreciate!”

Chara sighed sadly, he was right after all. It’d be so much better if they could just… erase what they’d done to everyone, get rid of all that pain they’d caused. But what they’d done would never go away. Someone would always remember, would always tell them that they deserved all the pain they could ever receive.

After all, it was them who had destroyed the lives of so many, even if they hadn’t been the one walking around, looking for each one, or pushing the buttons over and over without even a shred of mercy. If they’d just fought it earlier, instead of being so selfish, sulking with stupid, stupid pain… Pain they deserved. Then maybe things might be different.

Mettaton was waiting patiently for them to stop spacing out, but the moment never came, so he continued, “Darling! I’d like you to know that, if your expression when you did it last time around is anything to go by, you don’t deserve to beat yourself up like that.” He looked to the side; he was speaking in a serious tone, which was quite unlike his usual demeanour, **“Why beat yourself up over someone else’s mistakes?”** And then he was back to normal… if a rocket emerging from his arm is classed as ‘normal’, that is.  “Well, I need to go to my next show. _toodles_!”

Chara gazed up at the hole in the ceiling, then glanced across at Napstablook, who was shrinking further and further back into the corner with each passing second, even though the corner was a finite space, and he’d reached the wall ten minutes ago. He gave them an apologetic shrug as if to say ‘He does that all the time, you’ll get used to it..... Eventually...............’

Chara threw him an equally, if not more apologetic smile, then slipped out the door with a quiet wave to him, and headed on their way. Though walking through the silent blook snail farm, Chara felt the familiar pain in their chest.

When Napstablook later emerged from his home to check on the snails, a nearby echo flower held a message, the voice of a kid, shuddering; vibrating from inner pain and self-depreciation. It only had a small sentence, but the sentence was punctuated with enough undertones to fill a room to the ceiling.

*          *          *

Undyne stared down into the chasm into which she’d sent the human, and half the bridge. She couldn’t tell why she was feeling what she was in her chest. Humans were evil, horrible creatures, weren’t they? But, why hadn’t this human fought back, or even dodged her attacks? Did they want to die?

She’d decided not to pursue them the moment they reached the ancient boardwalks. She wanted to observe them from a distance, to try to understand why she couldn’t seem to bring herself to kill them. Monsters just needed one more soul, but for some reason, she was unable to kill the human for the soul they needed. Why was that?

Her only companion was a faint breeze that whispered sweet nothings in her ears. She couldn’t quite figure out what it was about this human, but for some reason, a part of her couldn’t bring herself to attack them.

Undyne sighed, if she couldn’t even do what she had been trained to do, then what was the point? She was failing Asgore by doing this. The idea was to make it so that he didn’t have to kill every single human himself, but she was failing, despite this human offering themselves up with a side order of tears and stupidity. Why couldn’t she do what needed to be done anyway?

Undyne thought back to when Asgore had been training her. They were all here because of the death of the prince, Asriel. No, the princes, Asriel, and Chara. Their story was _so_ anime it was actually kinda cool, but there was something about the human that Undyne couldn’t place, it was like she’d seen them somewhere.

A new post from Alphys UnderNet pinged on her phone, so Undyne checked it, making a note to herself to silence it in the near future. If it went off during the fight with the human, that’d be tragic.

Napstablook22: >this flower is saying _“asriel I’m sorry”_ ……… feels like a friend…..

skelepuns: >don’t you mean a kindred **spirit**?

ALPHYS: >Way to ruin a sombre moment **numbskull** lmao ^.^

skelepuns: >throw me a **bone** here.

Undyne couldn’t help but smile, but then froze. Wait... could the flower be saying that in a human’s voice? A conclusion began to form in Undyne’s mind. A conclusion Undyne didn’t like very much, but had a suspicion was very likely to be the truth. If it was, then perhaps killing this human for their soul would be a very poor life choice indeed.

*          *          *

The waterfalls that tumbled down could have easily swept Chara off their feet. In fact, perhaps it would have been better if they had, after all, the bottom of them would have been a much more fulfilling location. But then, they had to keep going. They had to put things right, to fix their mistakes.

Following the winding paths through the darkened rooms had felt a little claustrophobic, but soon enough, they reached the far end of the caverns.

The narrow pathway was plagued by echo flowers, but all of them seemed silent, strangely so. The water pooled underneath splashed with each footfall, but nothing happened as they moved on.

Chara felt as if something very bad was about to happen, it was a feeling they couldn’t shake, no matter how hard they tried, but they also couldn’t quite put a finger on why they felt that way.

“Yo, did you see Undyne? She’s really cool, isn’t she? I bet you feel better now, right?... Right…”

Chara sighed sadly and shook their head, _“Not really. I guess you should know that killing you isn’t the worst thing I’ve done… not by a long shot. So repenting for that one sin doesn’t fix the others, and some of them… I can’t take back, no matter how much I want to…”_

The monster, who had somehow been biologically named “kid” froze up. “I… uh… sorry, I won’t bring that up again, o-ok?”

Chara threw him a wilted smile, trying to hold in the tears that wanted to crawl over their eyes, _“Ok.”_ They managed.

Some of the tears must have been more visible than they imagined though, because he soon responded, “You shouldn’t hold them back like that… It’s unhealthy.”

It seemed they hadn’t been looking. They found themselves on the bridge. As Chara looked up, realising where they were, their eyes met with the eyes (or lack thereof) of a grey monster. They looked so much like Kid, but, something about them felt off. A faint memory, and a twinge of regret ran through Chara’s heart, and they shoved Kid back as a fist sealed a wall behind them. They met the eyes of the eyeless before them. _“Hey Goner, long time no see, huh?”_

Goner Kid seemed to smile, but it was a gesture filled with malice, with deep anger. _“Sorry Char, but the boss doesn’t want you to live through this, so… Well, it’s nothing personal… Oh, wait, it is…”_ Two fists, powered by magic, were summoned next to the armless biped’s torso. _“If you wanna understand why, just imagine a world, where everything is the same…”_ Goner took in a breath and the fists flew forwards. Chara felt a familiar sinking feeling as blackness took over everything around them and their soul was pulled into the open from their chest. It was time to fix their mistakes.

**_“E X C E P T   Y O U   D O N ‘ T   E X I S T .”_ **

*          *          *

Chara ducked down instinctually, the fists flying over their head redirected, swinging around and slamming into the ground, forcing them to lunge forwards.

Goner kid seemed to teleport closer, then a barrage of non-existent projectiles were flung Chara’s way. Chara jumped as the bridge behind them was shattered by a volley of fists, managing to catch their balance on the very edge of the bridge, and lean away as the next one grazed their ribs.

Chara gasped for air. _“It doesn’t have to be this way Goner. We don’t have to fight.”_ They begged, knowing full well what he was about to say next.

Goner flung two fists out wide, giving a moment of time, _“If I let you go, the boss’ll erase me from existence for real. So, sorry, but I can’t let you live.”_ Chara sighed sadly, exhaling gently. It was time to do this for real, time to let it all go. After all, in this moment, against Goner, it was kill or be killed. They tossed the stick they held aside, and then brought out a plastic knife. It would be easier if it were metal, but they’d have to work with it.

The first fist flew in at the side when they were least expecting it. Their eyes glowed red with pure determination and they leapt forward with fresh energy, sliding under as the glaring explosion of the fabric of the universe being torn hit them head on. Chara leapt up with an energy unrivalled, swinging their legs back and tucking in to twist their way around, they extended, plummeting past a wall of deadly pain, using their soul to fling themselves back just a little, holding their arms above their head, then swinging down.

The knife met the ground with a sharp crunch, cushioning their blow just a little as they lunged forwards. The water that dripped down from the ceiling above plummeted past them, pattering against their cheek. A little dust dropped down too. The thought of stopping the same fate befalling everyone else they cared about…

It filled them with _determination_.

Goner kid flung another wall in, this time without hesitation, a seemingly random pattern that came from all directions all at once. There was no way to think of a route through it before it would reach them. But he was certain they’d try. It’d be their downfall.

Chara swung upwards as one of the first caught their left ankle. They yelled out in pain, cursing under their breath as Goner destroyed the ground in front of them, where he predicted they’d land.

Spreading themselves out, Chara moved to collide with each fist in succession. They cried out in pain as each one tore through their arms, snapped their bones and crushed their organs. Soon landing just barely short of the chasm Goner had created, they shakily climbed to their feet.

 _“I’m so scared Char, but I’ll do what’s necessary, for my bro.”_ Goner informed them, flinging another barricade at them, this time magic-created finger guns that fired literal bullets.

Chara leapt up, the glint in their eyes, a solid crimson red, allowing them to see the attacks only a moment before they happened. Time was tied to determination, and red was the colour of only one thing – DETERMINATION.

Chara slung their left leg out, gritting their teeth in pain and yelling out as their body crushed their wrist against the rocks, using their phalanges to grasp the outer edge of the shattered rock, feeling it dig in, draw blood, Chara took a deep breath, everything seeming to slow.

The fists came from all sides as they leapt, one last fist tearing through their chest, ripping their shirt wide open and letting crimson dribble out over all the rock around them. They pulled their body into narrow shapes, twisting to fit in between the fists, spinning as they emerged out of the top, allowing them to see the attack both behind and in front of them.

Chara swung their knife around with as much force as they could muster, flinging their body upwards just a little more to slide over the fists as their shirt was pulled back ever so slightly underneath them.

They came to a stop on the last inch of the bridge that remained untouched, unscathed, eying goner kid who hid on the far pendulum, they ran one last time. It was time to fix their mistakes, and it would start here.

They flung themselves off the stone with no upwards force at all, falling under Goner’s predictable higher aimed attack. Chara tucked their weapon into their chest as they rolled in their fall, extending their arms.

They’d used the high leap earlier to test the strength of their weapon for the moment in which it mattered – now. The weapon sliced straight into the pillar underneath goner kid, just barely holding as it shattered the stone into many small pieces. The blade broke as the pillar collapsed and Chara’s arms felt like they were being yanked out of their sockets.

Surprisingly, they didn’t exactly stick the landing.

*          *          *

Gaster had a way of manipulating people to do what he wanted, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a great person. Goner Kid was his biggest fan by far. They loved his accent, his experiments, his endeavour to save all of monster-kind. They quite literally followed the royal scientist around. For the most part, that was a routine that involved staking out his lab at all hours of the day.

Goner sat down next to Chara, the adopted prince. They were a human, which made most social interactions a little… uneasy for them, but the human had a kind smile, and their eyes always showed compassion, despite their at first threatening red gaze.

Goner soon found a friend in the first human to fall into the underground. Chara had little to no inhibitions, they spoke their mind, and it was a brilliant contrast to them, how they were nervous, often anxious… shy, even…

When Chara sat down next to them, Chara smiled a sweet, understanding smile, and goner responded, _“Hey Char, d-do you want to go out to waterfall later on. Th-there’s this place I like to go when I’m sad, or… anxious, and I- I was wondering if you wanted to join me.”_ He asked, a more than a little nervous. The answer he expected was the answer everyone always seemed to give him.

Chara replied after a brief moment of consideration, most likely checking to see what they’d have to cancel, what they didn’t want to avoid or ignore or put aside for a kid they’d never ever met… But just as Goner was ready to say ‘you know what, forget I asked’, Chara replied, _“Sure. Sounds like fun.”_

Goner froze, _“W-wait, did you just, agree to come? It’s not that I don’t like you, but”_ the clarification hurt, _“nobody ever wants to do stuff with me.”_

Chara smiled again, in fact, Goner was wondering if they ever didn’t smile, _“Someone does, clearly.”_ Then they laughed a little as a greenish blue blush spread across Goner’s face like wildfire, _“You know what? How about we go now? It’s not like we need to be here for anything, is it?”_ They asked.

Goner smiled, _“Uh… sure. S-sounds like fun.”_ He parroted in a weak impersonation of their voice, now it was Chara’s turn to blush. Their blush was a deep red, verging on a pleasant shade of lilac.

They followed each other, though Goner lead the way, Chara wasn’t always behind him. At the places where you could only go in one direction anyway, they often strayed ahead. He decided to talk to them, _“Isn’t the core cool? I mean, it’s so useful. Without it, life would be… really hard for us monsters. Gaster is really a great person, isn’t he?”_

Chara smiled a little, they wanted, deep down to say something about how he creeped them out a bit, with his demeanour, being in rooms, but never really seeming to show up, just sorta… appearing out of nowhere. But they decided against it. It was more natural for Goner to like Gaster. Who were they to break his heart?

They reached the place, one of the numerous benches that were scattered across waterfall, and sat next to each other, watching the echo flowers as they swayed back and forth in one of the undergrounds many breezes. The underground was large enough for air to move like that. Hell, it even had its own weather patterns…

Chara laughed, and looked Goner in the eyes, giving off an expression that expelled honesty in every sense of the word. They replied, _“Yeah, like you don’t even know…”_

Goner laughed a little _“Why don’t we… do this more often… perhaps every week?”_ He asked, his face was one of hope, fragility. Chara prayed that they wouldn’t have to ruin it for him.

They placed a hand on his shoulder, _“Sure, every week sounds great, but I don’t really have that many friends, so…”_ They sighed sadly, deciding that it’d be best to warn him of what he was walking into, _“Sorry if I’m not the greatest influence…”_

They smiled and began to talk to him, their conversation angling up at the crystals, supposed to resemble stars, the crystals that littered the roof of the underground and could clearly be seen from where they sat. After all, how much can change in a week?

*          *          *

As Chara climbed back to their feet, the water dripping red from their chest, they felt that familiar twinge of regret. Goner looked equally weakened, just barely able to keep himself from fading away, but he steeled his resolve as he stood opposite.

Chara sighed sadly, taking in their surroundings, the familiar bench, the view of the stars above the echo flower fields, the unfinished business. It hurt, knowing that they were responsible for Goner being literally erased from existence. They hadn’t even saved anyone by doing what they did, and all because they were too much of a coward to do what had to be done. It was pathetic. They spoke. _“Do you remember where we are?”_

Goner’s face seemed to freeze, regret passing over every single feature individually, one at a time. _“Why did you have to make this so difficult Char? You could have just let me do this on the bridge, but you had to take it down here, where it’d hurt.”_

Chara looked him in the face, their eyes, though red, didn’t seem to glow nearly half as much as before. A quick check showed that they only had 2HP remaining as they spoke. _“I don’t want you to have to live with taking someone else’s life Goner. If you need me dead, I’ll do it for you.”_

Goner stepped forward, he was quivering, _“I’m so scared Char. I know that if I don’t do it, he’ll erase me, but I know that if I do, he- he’ll erase me all the same…”_ Goner rested a head on Chara’s shoulder, their tears began to flow into Chara’s shirt, staining the stripes a teal green.

Chara sighed sadly, _“Goner.”_ The sentence seemed to finish itself, they didn’t have anything else to say, but then they did, _“For me, it’s only been a week. Maybe, before you go, we can talk to each other again.”_ Their voice trembled as they held the tears back, forced them inside. They couldn’t cry, they had to stay strong for Goner right now, _“one last time?”_ They asked.

Goner seemed relieved, his breathing slowed, _“Sure, One Last Time.”_ There was a brief silence as he lifted his weight and sat down on the bench. They joined him moments later, _“S-so how have you been?”_ He asked, awkward.

Chara sighed sadly, _“I’ve… been better… It’s not so good being forced to kill people, twice, in one week…”_  Then they laughed a little, _“You know, I never ended up killing your brother. I might have, but Undyne got in the way. I don’t think I would have been able to handle it if she hadn’t.”_

Goner seemed to laugh a genuine, honest laugh, _“I didn’t realise it’d be this awkward, o-otherwise I might have said no.”_ He joked as he slowly began to fade, his already grey body darkening as the seconds passed by.

Chara gave him a playful shove, _“I missed you Goner, even if we barely knew each other,”_ They sighed sadly, looking down into the floor as if they wanted it to swallow them up, _“I’m sorry if what I did got you erased.”_

The reply was a laugh and a serious tone, no stammering, only sincerity, _“That’s not your fault Char. You couldn’t have possibly known what you did would… mean I never got to see MK again.”_ Goner then moved over to Chara, resting his head against their shoulder, _“Don’t beat yourself up over what could have been. If you do that, you’ll only get hurt. You can’t change the past Char.”_ The echo flowers opposite seemed to fade away, and everything went silent, it was just the two of them now.

 _“Stay strong Chara, for me, okay?”_ Goner told them, receiving a nod, coupled with tears, in response. The weight on Chara’s shoulder rapidly disintegrated into nothing as Goner spoke one last time, _“Please, tell MK I love him.”_

Chara felt grief tear through their chest. This was the consequences of what they had done. They had hurt everyone so badly, all because they were selfish. Every last bit of pain was their fault. They were who stood in the way of everyone’s hopes and dreams. They were the enemy of all monsters. This was entirely their fault, and there was no way that they could ever be able to fix it.

They didn’t deserve friends, and now, they didn’t have any.


	28. Chapter 20: Sorry for the pain.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well that kinda just... happened.  
> (What? I like worldbuilding, okay?!)
> 
> Anyway, we're now approaching the end of part 3.
> 
> Have fun with this relatively settled chapter...

Chapter 20: Sorry for the pain.

The stench, which could only be defined as ‘putrid’, seemed to spread through the door and crept under the sheets, straight up Chara’s nostrils. It was like it knew exactly where to go to hit the hardest it possibly could.

_Smells like sushi._

Chara leapt to their feet in an instant. They must have passed out. Benches didn’t have sheets, after all. They had been in pretty bad shape after what had happened. So it was no surprise when they collapsed again, letting out a whimper of pain as the feeling of a broken leg overpowered them. Apparently they hadn’t noticed it straight away. Somehow, it had been numb.

Gaster’s followers all seemed to have a gift that nobody else had. Sans had his karmic retribution, and his ‘shortcuts’, Muffet had her purple web, so perhaps Goner’s gift was that he was unable to feel pain of his wounds. Was that why Chara had felt no pain? Because Goner had devoted the last of his magic to ensure they didn’t feel it immediately? That idea hurt, far more than their wounds.

The stench returned to the forefront of their senses, and they looked around. The nearest wall had a poster on it. Some sort of anime catgirl posing in an erotic manner. It looked like the one in Alphys lab, but only vaguely similar.

Chara returned to their main priority – getting out of here before the fish captain returned, and most likely dusted them off for good, or worse… Undyne had trained with Asgore, and she had a warriors’ intuition – how else could she stop them from killing MK last time? So it was likely that, given any more time, she’d figure out who they were, and that might not go so well…

No, given that everyone who knew who Chara was had ended up hurt or dead, it definitely wouldn’t go well.

Chara pushed off the bed to stand up this time, barely keeping their balance, and moving at about one step every five minutes, courtesy of the severe pain that was running through their left leg every single time it moved, forcing them to stop and catch their breath to avoid hyperventilating or worse, throwing up. They half-walked, half-dragged themselves to the door, and pulled down on the handle. It opened to reveal blue scales, yellowed teeth and a black eyepatch that last time had glinted with power, with determination.

Well, wasn’t this a perfect situation? Trying to run away, with a broken leg, only to run right into the person you were hoping to escape from on the way out? _Good going there Chara!_

 **“Hey Chara!”** Undyne’s voice was so loud it probably could have woken the dead. If the dead weren’t already awake, that is.

Chara froze, horror lurking just behind their eyes as they forced it back, so Undyne already knew their name? How did she know? And then it dawned on them. Their confrontation with Goner hadn’t exactly been private, had it?

 **“I know you’re like, the prince and all, but I would have _expected_ you to return my greeting!” ** Undyne boomed, getting right up in Chara’s face in a way that was very intimidating indeed. She wasn’t the head of the royal guard for sweet smiles and selling ice cream, after all.

Chara laughed a little, a humourless, hollow laugh, _“I know! I know I didn’t return your greeting! I’m…”_ There was a silence, and they looked to the floor, almost downtrodden in expression and their voice faded, becoming almost completely silent with guilt. If this were being recorded, no camera in the underground would have been able to pick it up. _“I’m not as good as you guys all thought I was, okay?”_

They walked across the room quickly, their breath shaky as they made sure that they felt every ounce of the pain in their leg, their eyes just barely managing to hold in the tears as they tried to distract from the pain caused by the guilt in their chest.

 _Why did it have to be Undyne who found out first?_ Undyne wouldn’t show them any sympathy for their mistakes, for how they’d failed everyone. Undyne didn’t have a tender heart like that. She wasn’t ‘a big softie’ like Asgore.

 **“Hey!”** The word felt like a spear being tossed through the air, slicing open the wall of silence that was trying to fall across the room. **“If you think I’m gonna just let you slink off without giving me answers first, then you’ve got another thing coming!”** She wouldn’t take silence as an answer, would she?

Chara sighed sadly, _“I… don’t want to talk right now.”_ Then they curled up into a ball, in which they hoped nobody would be able to find them, ever.

It surprised Chara to feel a head pressed against their shoulder; a head that stunk of sushi and was slimy like a freshwater salmon, but still a head that was trying to be comforting despite everything. It was as if, somehow, Undyne understood that expression. Nobody had ever understood that expression, but now, it seemed they did…

Undyne let out a breath. She knew that sentence, those trembling words. Those words were repeated by other monsters, driven mad by a rise in their LOVE. Not all monsters were kind or compassionate, just most of them. The words meant they were scared, that they thought that if they so much as opened up and said a word, the person stood in front of them would be dusted, and there was only one way to fix it.

Undyne’s smile grew into a shark-like grin. **“You need training, kid!”** She boomed, the house practically shaking as the words reverberated off the walls.

Chara shuddered as that familiar feeling overtook them and their soul was pulled into the darkness.

*          *          *

Training had a meaning all of its own with Gaster in the room. His method of ‘training’ was to force them to fight, to use their soul to avoid insane patterns. He wouldn’t even stop hurting them. If they looked like they were about to die, if their soul was about to shatter, he’d just throw them healing magic for a moment, and then get straight back to hitting them with the bones and the blasters.

When it came to fighting him, even when you had 99HP, a single mistake would cost you 20. And once he’d hit you, you’d be left shuddering as the pain gradually burnt through whatever joint had been hit.

Needless to say, it wasn’t exactly fun, but it prepared them for a fight.

*          *          *

At the mention of ‘training’, Undyne felt her soul suddenly pulled into a battle. She turned for a moment, how did they know to initiate combat? She sighed, **“Since when did you receive training? You were the prince, weren’t you?”** She asked. It wasn’t possible they were trained. Asgore would never do that.

The kid didn’t look like they wanted to fight, more like they were reliving some sort of trauma. Undyne’s brow furrowed. A prince would never have undergone trauma. Asgore, the Queen, they would never have allowed it!

*          *          *

Gaster would lash out quickly, landing hit after hit. He didn’t fight fair either, using blue attacks to hold them still, followed by blasters used on them from various directions. Sometimes he’d even turn their soul blue and throw them into a wall of blue.

But with each day, they learned to live with the pain, to cope with it, until it became so numb, they barely even felt it, even when they were in battle, they felt nothing. Eventually, it wasn’t them fighting anymore; instead it was the ghost of them he’d created. They were nothing but a weapon to him, one he’d use for his own purposes.

The unfair attacks were soon avoided without thought.

*          *          *

There was a smash as the kid’s soul, a deep red before her flashed a darker crimson. The kid shuddered, as if in pain, but made no sound. Undyne shook them with as much force as she thought she would need to snap them out of it, only to receive no response, so she flung a spear, a warning shot.

They leapt up and to the side, rotating without thought or even consideration. It was like they somehow had learnt how to curl their body into tight shapes in order to dodge attacks. Now that Undyne thought about it, they probably had.

She sighed, “Kid, who taught you to do that?” There was only silence in response, and then they lashed out.

Alright, the kid gloves were off! It was time to get that seventh soul. Because it was clear the first to fall was gone, far beyond anywhere she could reach. She wouldn’t enjoy this, if she did, her LOVE would increase, but she’d make damned sure to do what she had to, to protect everyone’s hopes and dreams.

**_They’d only need one more soul, and then they’d all be free._ **

*          *          *

Chara watched, a spectator in their own body, as Undyne flung spear after spear and their body dodged them without thought, followed by the parry that was the same as always, dealing enough damage to cut Undyne’s health down by an eighth!

Why had she said they needed _training_? Gaster had programmed in keywords that’d trigger certain things. Keywords like _training_ , which would cause them to fight without much thought, or _soul_ , which would make them attack until he said _heart_ , which meant stop.

Chara sighed, pushing against their mental bonds, just a little give, but perhaps enough. It wasn’t enough to wiggle their fingers, but it was enough to think freely. They just had to find something to prove the keyword invalid.

Easier said than done, their memory was a little foggy after a good many years being dead and gone, where they should be.

Undyne’s health dropped again, this time down to half. Ok, it was not the time to wait, to twiddle their thumbs and dwell on how they’d fallen down, it was time to rush things, or this would go very badly.

Chara sighed sadly, thinking back into their past.

*          *          *

Gaster had many rules that he’d force them to follow during the therapy. For example, that only his voice should make the keywords apply, lest he run the risk of them triggering outside sessions. But he never was able to make it that specific. He hadn’t conditioned with that in mind from that start, and a change that large couldn’t simply be added on.

Instead, he had to use another method. It seemed the conditioning had stuck to only apply on Sundays, when therapy was normally scheduled, so he would have to dig his feet in and make sure that they came there every Sunday, no ifs and no buts. After all, he didn’t want anyone getting hurt.

Well… not if they were a monster, anyway. Far as he was concerned, the humans could go burn in hell.

*          *          *

Chara opened their eyes, back in control. Undyne had stopped attacking, just barely holding herself up on one arm now. She had about 10 HP of her original 400 HP remaining.

Chara ended the battle, sparing her, and then fished around in their pockets until they finally found what they were looking for. They slid Undyne the plate of Papyrus’ spaghetti. Okay, perhaps that wasn’t quite what they were looking for, but it was the only food item they had left, so it’d have to work.

Undyne seemed to freeze for a moment, eying the spaghetti like it had just been pulled out of a dumpster and was the dust of a family member at the same time, then spoke again, _“Kid, what happened to Papyrus?”_ Her voice came out unexpectedly frail, weak. It was pathetic. It sounded like… their voice, even.

Chara shuddered, _“I… I…”_ They froze, their eyes were wet from tears they hadn’t shed, their leg was practically exploding from the pain of another battle, but they steeled their gaze and sprinted for the door.

Undyne gave chase, but her heart wasn’t in it. She’d really hurt them, hadn’t she? It was so stupid! She shouldn’t have even asked them any questions, and now she knew how much pain they must be in, all the time, for their voice to sound broken like that, it only made her feel worse.

Without really all that much thought, after all, Undyne had always been a shoot first, ask questions later kind of girl, she yelled their name.

**“CHARA!”**

The kid seemed to freeze, they looked not defeated, nor angry, but regretful, pained as they sprinted ahead without a single glance behind them. They’d failed every single person who heard their name back then, every last one. They didn’t deserve to be pursued like this.

They tried to run, but their legs gave out. Their heart wasn’t in it, but their mind was, and it hurt, part of them wanting to run away, to burrow into the ground, to die, while the other half wanted to accept it.

Torn, conflicted, they rose to their feet and continued to run through the dark.

A silence hung over Waterfall as Undyne began to realise how large the mistake she’d just made was. She hung her head low, the repeat of the echo flower next to her endless. Just one word, a single word that had so much power, so much influence and so many different meanings all at once.

Chara reached the bridge again, looking down into the abyss. This was where they’d killed Undyne twice over, where they’d nearly killed a kid as sweet, as innocent as MK. This was where they’d seen goner again, wiped from history, unable to ever see his brother again because of what they’d done.

Chara leapt as the word in the echo flower repeated once more.

_Sorry._


	29. Intermission 7: Fallen.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And with that, part 3 came to a close!  
> (Though you'll definitely be reading part 4, given they just jumped off a cliff in the last chapter, and this one is a flashback, won't you?)
> 
> See - writers tactics - lie about almost everything, leave cliffhangers everywhere. Hope the reader doesn't notice that makes no sense and is incredibly cheap!
> 
> Anyway, your diligent writer friend has found you some [music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXlDDlEJP8c) for this chapter to make up for the shortfall.

Intermission 7: Fallen.

The future is intangible, you can’t touch it or see it or feel it. It’s just… there.

Nobody knows what their future will lead to, what their future will be, but our paths in the future may cross in many ways, some foreseen, and some not so apparent.

It takes a lot of effort to erase somebody’s future and past completely, to wipe their past away, to leave them with a clean slate. Needless to say, it doesn’t exactly happen every day.

*          *          *

There was something about the way Gaster stood opposite them, how he had his back turned. It was somewhat threatening, Chara decided.

Gaster seemed to smile at that conclusion, like it was somehow what he’d wanted them to conclude all along, even from the start. It was definitely a worrying idea, to say the least.

“Chara, why is it that you asked to meet me here, atop the core? Surely your palace,” He seemed to scowl, as if the thought that Chara was royalty disgusted him, “or perhaps one of the downstairs rooms would be a better place to converse?”

Chara sighed sadly, taking out their knife. It was a birthday present from their adoptive Father, intended for gardening, for flowers, for earth, not for killing. It’d be a shame to use it for something so shoddy, something that lacked so deeply in the control that was required to be worthy of an object with such power.

They spoke, _“Gaster,”_ Their voice was stern, strong, _“I see that you’ve been manipulating me. Bending my will, to use me in a plan to break the barrier, but why? Why don’t you just experiment, construct a copy of my soul or something?”_ They asked.

Gaster laughed, “Oh Chara, Chara, Chara…” He said it condescendingly, waggling a finger as he approached, “Do you really think that you can overpower me with a gardening tool?” He laughed, “Are you that far gone… if so, I have evidently been successful, much more than I imagined.”

There was a silence, the wind blowing between them. “So, you’re going to try, to attempt to kill me, am I correct.” Silence, to which he responded by walking a little closer, summoning a blaster. “You will fail, and your remains? They’ll never be buried, but they’ll go forth to serve the greater good of monster kind as fuel for the core.”

Chara was forced back as he expanded a small wall of bones behind him. He laughed again, “Did you think you could outsmart me here Chara? We both know I’m the brains out of the pair of us.”

Clasping the knife tighter than ever, Chara steeled their resolve. _“I will not back down and let you go through with this Gaster.”_ He hadn’t thought his plan through at all. He was so fixated on breaking the barrier that he no longer cared about the consequences, or the second human-monster war that would ensue as a result of the plan.

Gaster laughed, “It’s nice to see that DETERMINATION of yours Chara. But I’m afraid if you do not comply, I’ll be forced to make you. I don’t want to do that, but, it’ll be your fault if everyone you love turns to dust.”

Chara held their gaze level to him as he extended his blasters range.

Gaster sighed, “If you refuse, I have enough followers to kill every single person you care for down here. Some are in the ruins, some in Snowdin, some in waterfall, and many in Hotland. Heck, I even have one in the royal court!” He laughed triumphantly, then took a step closer, “If you force my hand, monsters will be plunged into a bloody civil war, a brutal conflict that will last for centuries, millennia. Without the royal family, the underground will become anarchy, uneasy, with the smallest conflict destroying everything.” He spread his arms, as if to try to reason with them.

Chara pushed the pain, the hurt, the regret to the back of their throat. They’d never taken a life before, no matter what, they’d always held on. In fact, they’d never hurt anyone on the surface. It was odd. Monsters were made of love, compassion and magic. But Gaster seemed to lack in the first two entirely.

Gaster encircled Chara with a ring of blasters, “Chara, make your choice now, but please be quick, after all, we wouldn’t want dear sweet Asriel to get hurt now would we?” He smiled a little.

Chara looked down at the floor, praying that whatever divine being ruled over this universe would forgive them for their sins. That if they made a mistake here, they would not be a fallen angel. Then they made contact with the scientist, their fiery gaze piercing into his deep, hollow eye sockets.

The scientist sighed, “I see… you put your own life above those of even your family. You’re just like I imagined humans to be. So, Chara, I bid you goodbye. I would say it was nice knowing you, but it really wasn’t all that pleasant.” He took a breath in, “Oh, and I hope you get to watch the pain your family and all monsters go through because of what you have done in your afterlife.”

Gaster clenched his fist, tightly, resulting in a crunch as the blasters drew in.

Chara closed their eyes. This was the end of everything they had worked up to. Death at the hands of the man who was supposed to take care of their worries, their issues, followed by a brutal conflict that would get everyone they cared about killed. It was great seeing how pointless their life had been in the end.

Chara lunged forwards, feeling the magic cut at their heels. They slashed the knife. This was for their family, Toriel, Asgore, Asriel. This was for all monsters.

The knife drove forwards, cutting down as Gaster leapt aside, the knife cutting through the air.

Gaster laughed, “Oh Chara. I will miss that determination of yours. I will miss that, but I won’t miss you as a person. You are a vile human, after all, and you deserve to die with the rest of them.”

Chara laughed, _“Are you sure about that? Have you really won?”_ They drove their knife down into the panels beneath their foot. They knew enough about science to know roughly where the hydraulic cables holding up the outermost platform were held. Upon the lead being cut, the platform retracted in an instant.

The former royal scientist was left clinging to a last inch of polished metal, and yet he still laughed. “It does not matter if you defeat me, no matter what, if my followers do not see you die, and receive proof of your demise, they will launch my plan, with or without me. I have defeated you, Chara.”

Chara walked over, kneeling down next to him, they looked him in the eyes. _“Do I look like I care that I can’t win?”_ They asked, frustration behind their eyes, but also sadness, _“No. I just want you out of my life!”_ They yelled, then sighed, _“Goodbye, Gaster.”_ They added, looking away as their foot met his head and his hand was knocked clean off the metal, even off his arm.

He didn’t even yell out as he fell, he just maintained that same smile.

A bone shot up behind them, slamming into their soul, leaving them with no HP at all. Their soul only didn’t shatter because they were determined, they had to survive, to save their family from whatever he had planned, but even so, they felt sick to the stomach, empty.

There was a horrible feeling tingling down their spine; it seemed their LOVE had increased.

Chara wanted to throw up, but it was too late for that. They had already fallen from grace now. Who in their family would know about this? Who would look at them differently? Who would try to pretend that they weren’t looking at a failure? If they’d just been stronger, none of this would have happened.

There was a silence as they supported themselves against the only thing they could find, the central rod of the core. It felt warm, comforting, even as it burned their skin. This was their fault, so they should be punished for it.

They returned to their feet and gazed down into the center of the core, where Gaster was. Where he would have no doubt put them, if they hadn’t fought back. It didn’t make it any easier, nor did it make it feel right. This was still their fault. They’d still killed him, and not because they had to, but because they wanted to.

Even if he had _fallen down_ , as monsters called it, in all senses of the word, they were the one who had truly fallen. They had fallen from grace, gone from an angel to a demon in a matter of days.

Chara sighed, they would have to carry out the plan, but even still, they had to make sure the barrier never fell. They had to make it appear to fail unintentionally. It was better everyone was in pain, than that the humans, who had proven to be less than kind in both present and past, were allowed in.

It was then that the crack down the middle of their tortured soul split again, leaving a dark mark across the middle, one that was shortly followed by another and another.

They wanted to throw the knife into the abyss below them, but they couldn’t. It held sentimental value to them. It was a gift from Asgore, and if they threw it, it’d probably break his heart.

So instead Chara looked down into the abyss themself; they should jump, then they’d be right where they belonged. But they couldn’t. They still had unfinished business.

When this last job was done though, they’d make sure to go into that eternal sleep as they had originally intended. If they’d done it a month back, everyone’d be fine.

*          *          *

There are many reasons to fall from grace, but erasing someone from existence is something that cannot be redeemed or forgiven, no matter what you do. It is something that can only be ignored if the person erased does something that cannot be morally supported from any existing standpoint but their own, at which point erasure is the only sympathy that may be given.

However, this is something that never happens.

After all, if you cannot justify your own actions, why would you carry them out?


	30. Chapter 21: Shaping the path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so the penultimate stage of this long and difficult tale begins...
> 
> This is actually the longest part. (The final part is a short but sharp one).

Part 4: Flowers for your grave

Chapter 21: Shaping the path

The darkness of the void was the first thing Chara noticed. It felt familiar, just like it had been in the rare moments in which Frisk had appeared to them and tried to comfort them. It was disgusting really, that they were responsible for so much of this human’s pain, and yet it is Frisk who comforts them when they cry big sloppy tears, without so much as a sniffle. It should be the other way round, shouldn’t it?

Strangely, this darkness is silent; there is no sign of Frisk at all, Only emptiness and a single dark stairway leading up into the center.

Following it with caution, Chara shuddered. The memory of Gaster and their last session together atop the core still hung in their mind like a curtain of dread. But they continued, after all, there wasn’t anything else to do, was there?

_“Hello Chara, I was wondering if we would ever come to meet...”_

The booming voice, unfitted to any gender, with attributes of both omnipotence and benevolence seemed to cut through the darkness, emerging from both everywhere and nowhere at once.

Chara turned to see the figure, humanoid, yet clearly neither human nor monster. It almost looked like a projection, a ghost, and yet made physical contact with the ground, something that should be impossible for both. It wore a brown tunic like those seen only in ancient mythology, hood hung over its head, concealing fully its face.

Chara, finally having regained their composure, and having finished mentally narrating, a habit which they would probably be better off without, _“Who…”_ They thought for a moment, soon deciding they had no answer to their own question, _“Who are you?”_

_“Nobody of any concern to you, merely a watcher; I observe the path this world takes, and work to ensure that it shall not fall into disrepair, regardless of Universe.”_

Chara gasped as they watched a ball of magic from in the air between them, emerging outwards in a spiral that twisted out from a bright and fiery centre, slowly rotating in a dark emptiness. _“What is that?”_ They asked.

 _“An object of importance.”_ There was a silence as the hooded voice exhaled; a breath that sounded a compassionate, understanding, recognition beneath it all. _“I recognize that you view the world negatively, so touch it and allow me to show you something.”_

Chara sighed sadly. They’d been manipulated so many times. The third one had first told them to shake their hand, but when they had, it had infected them and controlled them. They weren’t sure if they should, but something about the figure opposite sat correctly with them. They didn’t feel uneasy or anxious, as they should, instead they felt truth.

They reached forward, their fingers touching the magic, and it expanded, rapidly spreading out until they could see it for what it was. Stars, clustered together haphazardly into spiral arms, a magnificent, beautiful galaxy into which constellations upon constellations were embroidered like stitches sown with closed eyes.

 _“I agree, it is by far my favourite part of the Universe. Early on, at least.”_ The cloaked enchanter added, before continuing, pointing to a nearby cluster, _“A pessimist may declare that stars are dying, while an optimist that they are being born. Those with knowledge see both death and birth at once.”_

Unable to tear their eyes away from the beautiful, crystalline structures that were the stars, Chara was unable to interrupt. If they had tried to speak, no words would have escaped their mouth. This was a part of the world they loved, adored, even.

 _“This is only where things begin though. Life – humans and monsters, they come next.”_ A faint light grazed the underside of the speaker’s hood, revealing a rosy cheek upturned into a blooming smile. _“I sense you are sceptical, however, you will enjoy it when we get there. I promise you will.”_

There was a moment of pause as the magic retracted again.

 _“I never liked making promises. Neither does my friend, he was the most reliable partner to me. But I guess you wouldn’t like promises if you’d done what I have... This, however, is a promise I shall vow utmost to keep.”_ The figure turned away, the magic now gone from the air, _“We will speak again sometime, but your friends need you for now.”_

 _“A prophecy once foretold that the angel who has seen the surface would return, and the underground would go empty, however, prophecies are often lost in translation.”_ There was silence, but it was a flash of light in a sea of darkness, soon devoured as the figure opened a door, stepping through it, _“A good prophecy is vague, too. The answer is what the world wishes it to be. All endings ‘good’ and ‘bad’ mean the same. On all paths, the prophecy will be fulfilled.”_

And then the figure was gone and it all faded into a brilliant white.

*          *          *

Their soul was the first thing they noticed. They should be falling, they’d closed their eyes, expecting the painful, bloody impact, but instead it was… it was Green, and they were frozen, unable to move no matter how hard they tried to tear away.

They turned, Undyne was there, standing over them, a large spear glowing with neon blue magic, burning with her rage, hung in her hand.

Now that Undyne could see their eyes, she could recognize it. That was the look she’d seen in the faces of the rare few war veterans from the human-monster war – a fear, that if you so much as batted an eyelid, the people in front of you would turn to dust.

“Chara…” She softened her voice just a little, hoping that, maybe it would somehow prevent them from feeling too threatened. Make them a little less fearful. It was funny, that she was comforting the person who had killed Papyrus. Who was she, the Ice cream lady? Why couldn’t she muster up the urge to attack?

Chara looked down at the ground, _“I guess… there’s no running away, is there?”_ They exhaled, their face twisted into a pained grimace, _“I did so many… bad things… hurt so many people. Even when I try to care for them, I end up breaking them beyond repair.”_

Undyne frowned, if she could ever lay hands on the person who had made them like this, who had put them through pain like that, she- she would tear them to dust. “Don’t think like that. You’re not a bad person.” She tried.

Chara’s laugh was filled with pain and despair. _“You can’t say that… when you **don’t even know what I’ve done.** ” _The last part was almost yelled with pained malice, with hatred, but it wasn’t directed outwards at anyone. How long had it been aimed inwards? How long had they tried to bottle up all that rage?

Undyne gritted her teeth. She couldn’t hold the green magic for much longer. She’d heard that humans were stubborn, or as Alphys had put it, ‘Determined’, but this was ridiculous! She tried again though, refusing to be outdone by a kid.

“How can you even say that? You’re the hopes and dreams of monsters. What good would you be without self-belief?” Again, her voice was softer than usual. This was a side of herself she hadn’t expected to find. She wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Chara felt a knot in their throat, and their heart felt like it was being mangled in their chest, such was their grief. They struggled, _“You should just let me go… You’ll all be happier, and nobody’ll get hurt. Papyrus is dead because of me, you know.”_

They decided again to wear the mask of confidence they’d disguarded with the third one. The pretence that they had any control over anything, that perhaps they’d be ok because it was all their doing, wasn’t it. They pulled the creepiest expression they could, even though it wavered a little, **_“I killed him.”_**

Undyne looked closer at their soul after hearing those words. If they had killed him, it didn’t make sense. Why would they _only_ kill him, and nobody else? He was too sweet to be the only one they hurt…

Their expression, though they tried to make it as creepy as possible, just looked hurt, there was no malice or rage in their eyes, just sadness and regret, and pain. They must have been through things no kid should ever go through.

Their soul was cracked, split. The light in it came only in sporadic bursts, revealing the scars of endless battles, of being attacked within an inch of its life only to be re-sealed with healing magic. Undyne froze, horrified, “Your soul… who did that to you?”

Chara shuddered, remembering all too well the bones and the blasters that had hit them for hours, days on end.

Falling to their knees, in aching, gut-churning pain, they tried again as their voice shook from all the inner anguish. _“You can’t stop him… nobody even remembers his name anymore…”_ They took a deep, shaky breath, **_“Just kill me Undyne, then you’ll all be free. Nobody’ll get hurt anymore. Hurt by me.”_**

Undyne sighed, trying one last time. “You know, kid. I know someone who hates themselves for something they’ve done… She doesn’t think I know, but I can see it, it tears her up inside whenever she thinks about it, and she’s… she’s one of the strongest people I know!”

Chara’s resolve seemed to falter for a moment. They didn’t even notice that their soul went red. Then they shuddered. _“I… I just want everybody to be happy.”_ There was something about the pain in their voice, it made a shiver run down Undyne’s spine. Then they continued, _“Is- Is that too much to ask? Am I always going to… going to end up hurting the people I love?”_

They let out a dark laugh, one that didn’t even contain a trace of humour, _“It’s funny, you know. How even now, I’m too much of a coward to spare everyone from the pain I cause. I’m too weak, so… please…”_ Their voice was pleading, their eyes were overcast with shadows and contained coverings of tears.

  _“Please just… do it for me.”_ They smiled weakly, holding the pain in for only a moment, _“For Papyrus, right?”_  They asked.

Undyne exhaled a shaky breath, normally she’d be full of energy, but she hadn’t been feeling the usual vigour since she’d met their eyes, putting the spear down on the ground and approaching the child slowly, carefully as they shuddered and tears filled with years of pain ran down their face.

Undyne sighed, forcing the usual vigour back into her voice. _“Chara. People may say horrible things about you, they might call you an idiot, a fool, weak… But don’t you **ever** do that to yourself, understand me?” _

Chara looked pained. They didn’t respond for an awfully long time, then sighed sadly, _“That’s the worst part… I know I should just ‘take what’s given to me’, but… I… I can’t. I don’t deserve-“_ They cut themselves off with an unearthly sob, wrapping their arms around the fish monster who stood over them as the roaring fire that burned in their chest became unbearable. They laughed a little, more humoured, gentle, _“I’m… such a sap, aren’t I?”_ they sobbed.

Undyne looked away to hide the totally-not-tears on the bottom of her eyes. Somehow this human was one of the cutest (excluding Alphys), and definitely the most pained person she’d ever met. It was awful, and she felt sorry for them.

As a warrior, the first thing you are taught is to control your emotions, to compartmentalize – hold what drives you close, and let the others fade into background noise. Undyne hadn’t let the others to the surface in months, maybe years. Since becoming captain, she hadn’t had the chance, and it wasn’t healthy at all.

That kid though, Chara. They had no training – they’d had to live with god-knows-what boiling away just beneath the surface for years, millennia. They’d probably had to watch their parents’ divorce and watch the six humans die, and that was the best things they’d have seen – not nearly bad enough to do this to them. How much self-control must they have to not fight or lash out right now?

That brought a thought into her mind.

Chara, they’d need a way to let it all out somewhere, somehow. Undyne knew how she let her own emotions out – training. That used to be every night, but she hadn’t had the time recently.

She sighed, meeting the poor kid’s eyes, **“Hey punk! I’ve uh, got an idea… Maybe we could… practice?”** Undyne tried, remembering how the word ‘training’ had set them off earlier, **“At my place later?”**

Chara let out a slow, pained breath, _“How about now?”_ They asked, sounding committed, driven, putting that pain aside.

Undyne froze for a moment. “Wait… now? Are… Are you sure about that? I mean-“ She began, worry lines above her brow, then laughed, “Why am I trying to stop you anyway? I mean, who am I, the nice cream guy?”

Chara barely seemed to react. Instead, they just let the fight initiate itself, trying their best to forget the memories of how they’d killed her, just a single blow, the last time around. How she’d never given up hope, even as she’d melted and turned to dust…

 **“Wow. You look like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders kid.”** Undyne remarked, sending a trio of slow spears from the front. Spears Chara seemed to block without even looking.

Chara sighed, no… Pushing this aside was useless. They might as well tell her what they’d done to her. Then at least she’d give them fair judgement. They looked down at the floor, _“You know, out of all monsters, you’re the one I respect the most.”_ They began.

Undyne waited pensively as their gut tied itself into a knot. There was no taking that back now, so they may as well get it over with. Chara exhaled, feeling the nerves in their own breath, _“You did what I was supposed to do. You protected everyone’s hopes and dreams, even when… even when I ended up destroying them.”_

Undyne laughed, yeah, they were expecting outbursts of rage, but she just laughed, “That’s actually quite funny, you know, ‘cause I always wanted to be like you, kid, to be a beacon of hope, that guided monsters through the darkness. That’s why I joined the royal guard.” Her voice was somewhat tender, or at least quieter than normal.

Chara shuddered, _“I… always hated the attention, because…”_ Their voice withered and they stopped to recompose before trying again, _“Because I knew in my heart that I’d end up disappointing them, like I did by destroying my family, or…”_ They looked down at the ground, as if hoping it’d swallow them up… _“Or by killing everyone in sight…”_

Undyne put a hand on Chara’s shoulder, gentle, though powerful, “That fear in your eyes, it’s not that of a killer, but of someone who doesn’t think they’re in control of their own strength.” She let herself fall still, “Kid, I know you think you’re protecting everyone by not attacking, but… someday, you’ll meet someone stronger than that, and you’ll have to fight. You need to get over the fear sooner, rather than later.”

She recalled the shell-shocked war veterans, unable to so much as venture out in public and added, **“Or you never will…”**

Chara had a weak, withered smile, a half-grimace on their face, and shuddered as it was choked out by deep-rooted fear, _“But… what if you die?”_ They asked, the fear in their voice apparent.

Undyne smiled a toothy grin, **“I won’t.”** She saw the scepticism in their eyes and laughed, “You’ll only do a lot of damage if you want to, kid. That’s how us monsters work. And something tells me you don’t want that.”

Chara shuddered, _“But what if… some part of me I can’t control does?”_ They asked, their voice yet again shuddering, shaking, frail from fear.

Undyne felt a little relief, finally, she’d found the _real_ problem – disassociation. The kid couldn’t own up to what they’d done, so had changed, part of them, the part that was confident, but dark in moral tone, had become strong and in control, while the other, the part that had once been the hopes and dreams of all monsters, had been locked away, forced to watch its hands move on their own.

Undyne stepped forward, “It’s a part of you Chara, but it doesn’t have to be. By believing it has power, you’re letting it define you, you’re letting it win. So don’t. Instead, believe in yourself, believe you **can** do this, then you will.”

Chara sighed, it was time to decide which way their moral compass would take them… Do they resume the killing, or do they do what was right? Undyne was correct – The third one would be stronger than them, and they needed to decide whether they wanted to fight dirty when it came back using a few LOVE and EXP, or if they wished to hold onto their hopes and dreams, to do what they were meant to do…

The stick in their hand came down with little thought or consideration, but when it stopped, there was no dust pile, or fatal injury, it just bounced off.

Undyne gave them a look that couldn’t say anything other than ‘I told you so’, shortly followed by Chara lunging forwards, pulling her into an embrace. Chara smiled, _“I don’t think I could have done that without you.”_ They reminisced.

Undyne gave a toothy grin, “Let me guess, Toriel didn’t teach you anything about fights?” She asked, on verge of laughter.

Chara couldn’t help but let out a gentle laugh, _“Yeah, she didn’t believe in using violence to solve problems.”_ Then they smiled, _“Should we… get back to it now? I mean, if I’ve already gotten over that in five minutes, by the end of this, I think I might be a new person…”_

Undyne gave a throaty chuckle, **“Sure thing, Punk!”** Then she laughed carefully, “I don’t think I could have become who I am now without you either.” She finished.

As they went back to training, Chara sighed, maybe they would be able to shape their own path through life, and decide on their own fate. Certain incidents would change the outcome, and they had a suspicion this might be one of such events.

They were no longer afraid of themselves anymore. They now knew that they could control their own strength. That didn’t mean they wanted to fight at all opportunities, that’d make them as bad as the third one. No. It meant that they knew that if they had to face him, which they would, they wouldn’t end up killing Asgore in a single blow.

And that was a relief, as nothing is really more painful than your father’s dust underneath your fingernails, and nothing wants to make you throw up and gag and vomit all over the floor than your families entrails being stuffed up your throat.

*          *          *

Watching from above, Flowey couldn’t help but furrow his brow in a combination of confusion and frustration. Why? Had they forgotten about him? He’d sacrificed his life, everything he had, for their stupid plan, and what did he get in return? Ignored? Shoved into a shadow like he was somebody else’s plaything – an old toy, unwanted, unused?

He’d make sure that they remembered him; he’d make sure that they stopped pretending to be some boring goody two-shoes idiot. He’d show them!

There was a sensation – a hand on his shoulder – but he didn’t have any, so that was impossible.

>So… do you see how loyal your ‘best friend’ is now?

Flowey shuddered. This voice… it was even creepier, even better than Chara’s. Perhaps he’d been mistaken. Maybe that was Chara… His stem twitched involuntarily, but he still managed to pluck up the courage. _“Chara?”_ He asked, _“Is… that you?”_ After all, if it was, they’d have had years to practice. It made sense.

>The coward who betrayed me… I wonder how I can make them pay…

The glare he felt on his shoulder, but also focused on his ‘friend’ in the distance. It was odd… It was like a reminder to him not to get in the way, at the same time as a marker as to what was next.

He shuddered. If they didn’t want him getting in their way, he wouldn’t. But he didn’t like where this was going. It was something about them; they felt like Chara, but they didn’t at the same time.

Either way, he didn’t exactly want to stick around so they could choose his fate.

He burrowed into the ground before the voice could even continue.


	31. Chapter 22: All the LOVE in my heart...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains minor sensual activity.
> 
> This is why this work, alongside major character death, and some occurrences of alcohol, is rated for **teen audiences.** Though this is my first AO3 work, so if anyone disagrees with the rating, tell me in a comment and I'll change it. ;)
> 
> Enjoy.

Chapter 22: All the LOVE in my heart...

The silence of Hotland was the first thing they noticed. It was even quieter than waterfall. It was as if monsters were disappearing… But that couldn’t be right – if that was happening, there’d be dust everywhere, and the third one didn’t have a corporeal form, and wasn’t controlling them, so…

Chara sighed, passing over the narrow bridge to the sound of magma bubbling incessantly below. They’d been getting better since Undyne. Only a few weeks ago, the temptation to jump and let fate decide would have been enormous, but now it was limited at worst.

“heya.”

A faint smile, entrapped in thought, _“Where is everyone? I mean… if you’re evacuating everyone just for me, I appreciate the effort, but…”_ They decided to hold their line of thought when they realized the lights in Sans eye sockets were gone, backpedalling with a quick apology and forcing their way in behind the sentry station turned hot-dog stand that Sans inhabited.

“hell if i know… funny though, i’ve been thinkin’ the same thing. was about to ask you ‘bout it but…” He trailed off,

Chara took note of the way the sausages were too grey and too oblong, and smiled a little, _“I see you’re still selling Typha. I wouldn’t have thought you were the **typha** person to pull something like that, but I guess you’re just **Sans** a sense of decency… and flesh…” _ They joked, attempting to lighten the mood.

Sans’ permanent grin widened ever so slightly, “i guess you still **chara’** lot about puns, huh?” He retorted, following with a small shove, “i think i’m gonna try to **ketchup** so i can **relish** your defeat.”

They gave a small smile, perhaps this could be fun, _“ **Mustard** you? **Oil** enjoy it either way, but you’ll be a bit,”_ They paused, intentionally, letting the pun threat hang in the air _“ **Salty** , when I beat you… you might even **sour** the moment when you s **cream** in anger.”_

Sans chuckled, “wow, wouldn’ta pegged you as the **typha** person to enjoy this…”  He retorted. Usually he’d have come up with a better pun, but he’d found himself rendered speechless.

Chara laughed, a laugh of gentle understanding as they took a hot dog (?) in their hands and tucked in, _“You’re kidding me, right? I mean, I was once the kid of the woman behind the door. She likes puns because I used to make them all the time.”_

Sans shrugged, “i coulda guessed but i didn’t bring it up, after all, wouldn’t that be… in **sans** itive?”

A hot dog was practically tossed into his face, but not in a threatening manner, but much more of a playful, jovial, passive-aggressive manoeuvre, _“Yeah, sure… I’d have a real **bone to pick** with you then, wouldn’t I?”_

Sans let out a small chuckle; it was good having a friend who thoroughly understood what he was going through, and shared a love of comedy, “just the one? you’re slipping. burnt yourself out at the start.” It was very good indeed.

Taking another bite, the kid continued, _“Really? I mean, I can think of a **femur** , to **patella** you the truth. I guess they don’t call this place Hotland for nothing, huh? Everything here’s hot… Hot dogs, hot lava… hot…….”_ They realised what they might be implying, so decided to change the subject, _“The king sucks at names, doesn’t he?”_

Sans furrowed his brow, putting a thought that had just come to mind on the backburner (heh), and played along, “yeah, i guess he does… i mean, who names a city ‘new home’?”

Chara sighed sadly, the humour gone from their voice, the happiness draining from their face, melting away like ice cream on a summer day, _“A guy I miss, really, really badly…”_

It was unexpected at the very least, for Sans to find himself being leaned against with such gentleness, a shoulder upon which to cry. Chara shuddered, _“You know, without people like you, I don’t think I’d be able to keep this up.”_

Sans felt the hands, cold, lacking in heat despite the sweltering temperature, brush gently against his ribs at the back, he let out some breath, “what can i say? i’m a de **sans** guy, right?” He joked, letting out a hollow laugh.

Chara made eye contact, searching his eye sockets, seeing the hurt and the pain hidden beneath them, _“You don’t have to do that for me, you know that right? You don’t have to wear that mask.”_ They reassured him. He had hidden all his pain behind bad jokes for far too long now.

Sans’ permanent grin faltered for just a moment, the lights in his empty sockets quivering, blinking in and out.

He shuddered, “it isn’t right that i don’t care about anyone anymore. but i’ve seen them wiped off the face of the earth enough times to know they don’t matter; it’ll all be reset.”

Blue tears escaped, despite his fighting to keep them back, “trust me to kill my brother the one time it’s all permanent.” The joke was devoid of humour, and seemed to ring the same tone for both of them, if the hiccup from the other was anything to be believed.

Feeling the pain writhing in their chest, Chara felt the uncontrollable tears that welled over their eyes and crawled down their face, _“What is it with people like us and losing the people we love?”_ They asked, their voice shaking with despair.

Sans leaned into them. Their flesh was softer than his bone, or his brother’s dust. It was somewhat comforting to find something so soft that lived and breathed and walked and talked.

Smiling a little, they returned the embrace, _“If they were here, they’d be trying to comfort us, wouldn’t they? They wouldn’t hate us for what we’d done, right?”_ Then they shuddered, images of Flowey popping into their mind, _“They’d be… the same as they always were, right?”_

Breath, even though a skeleton has no need to breathe, Sans let it travel through his teeth, “yeah. Paps wouldn’t hurt a fly…” But then he realised the significance of the question, “and i’m sure your brother wouldn’t hate you. you didn’t hurt him out of ill intent, after all…”

Carefully, Chara lifted his coat and wrapped it around the both of them, _“What use is a coat in Hotland anyway?”_ They teased.

Sans knew that remark wasn’t the real question they were asking, after all, they’d just moved right in beneath it… He felt a faint blue tinge his cheeks as he replied, “didn’t feel the need to take it off, after all, us skeletons don’t feel temperature…” They were giving him this attentive stare, as if to ask him wordlessly for more, “…passes right through us.”

A mirthless laugh, “’Course it does.” Followed by a passive-aggressive smile, “Strange though, you’re looking a little… **hot under the collar** ,” They retorted, running a hand along the smooth, and true-to-word, warm, back of his cranium, watching with a grin as the blue on his face spread a little.

Sans shuddered. He hadn’t expected to go from enemies to close friends in only two meetings, and now he was being beaten at his own game. He was meant to be teasing them, not the other way round. Or at least, that was how he normally handled the anomaly… However, obviously, this time wasn’t normal at all…

Leaning back in, Sans let his permanent grin spread again, “i heard flesh is more **tender** when warm… guess you must be **feelin the heat**.” He retorted, now it was his turn to be amused as he watched the human opposite him burn up (he’d save that one for later) in his gaze.

In another timeline they’d be glaring daggers, another and they’d be driving one into him, so it was good to have some fun, so long as it wasn’t serious.

He waited for a playful shove, or a laugh, but instead, the only response they gave was silence as they leant up against him and savoured both the ‘dog and the view. A faint smile seemed to be present on their face. That was a look he hadn’t seen the kid wearing… at all… now that he thought of it…

He was about to ask a question, preferably ending in a pun, when they beat him to it, _“About what you just said… were you serious, or…?”_ They trailed off before staring down into the floor, _“You know what, no, forget it. I don’t deserve someone like you in my life.”_

Sans froze up. If that meant what he thought it meant, he should be the one pushing them away for his shortcomings, not the other way round. He didn’t know how they’d done it, but somehow they’d managed to get _under his skin_.

They rested against both him and the hot dog stand. Despite the heat, they were shivering, no, crying, but the tears evaporated before they could form.

There was a brief pause, then they decided that it was better to say it now than wait until a later that may or may not exist if Gaster had his way, _“When I first saw you in Snowdin, last time around, I was scared of you, hell, I had fair reason to be. And that was good,”_ they savoured another bite, and then continued, _“I deserved every single death you gave me.”_

Sans froze up. He couldn’t help but feel for the kid. They seemed to have this deep, twisted belief that they _deserved_ to be some kind of doormat for everyone else; that they _deserved_ to die for some terrible sin that he doubted even the lord above knew of. It was wrong, and he swore if he ever met whoever had made them like this, if they were still around, he _would_ give them a bad time.

Geez, why was he acting so protective all of a sudden? He’d never been like that with anyone but Paps. So what was it about this train-wreck of a human that had barrelled into his life and ripped away everyone else he loved, that drew him to them like a moth to an open flame?

He mentally shrugged, then faced them, serious, “how many deaths was that kid? i’m pretty sure no one on this earth deserves as many as i gave you.”

There was a shudder from them, then they turned to face him, and he could see the tears that were forming in the corners of their eyes. _“But I hurt you so much. I ruined everything for you!”_ They blurted out, _“I—I…”_ They trailed off, evidently at breaking point. Clearly they hadn’t been dealing with any of this, just hiding it inside; pretending they were _fine_ , when they were evidently not.

Sans let them in again, placing phalanges against their back and running the cold bone carefully through their shoulder-length hair to comfort them. He shivered, it was almost real. Then returned their gaze, “no, kid. i’m the one who messed up here. i coulda saved paps last time, but instead i just sat back and let it happen. i shouldn’ta done what i did, and it’s not your fault other people make mistakes.” The sincerity even surprised him.

Looking him in the eye, Chara let out a long, weak breath, they couldn’t bring themselves to argue, they couldn’t find the strength to fight back. So they did the only thing they had left, leaned into the soft material of his coat and let the waterworks open, as they inevitably did.

Slowly, their pained whimpers slowed in velocity until they looked at him, hoping for an honest answer. They took a deep breath. They wouldn’t be able to ask this again, _“Sans?”_

The skeleton looked down at the human, once terrifying to him; the human he’d somehow believed was a demon, somehow imagined would kill everyone he loved in cold blood and be perfectly okay with their actions. The one he’d somehow forgotten was just a scared, lonely kid trapped in their own personal hell… He nodded. Now was not the time for humour.

They shuddered and looked away, a pained grimace on their face. Clearly they weren’t half as close to being done crying on the only person who knew them well enough that they could afford honesty as they thought they had been. So they spoke to hold it back, “Are you willing to forgive this _demon_ child?”

Their voice quivered as they punctuated the word ‘demon’, and when they finished, they leaned right into him, unable to even look him in the eye any longer, unable to even think out loud without hurting, terribly. Served them right, after what they’d done.

Sans just sat there. They didn’t need an answer; they needed a shoulder to lean on, or in this case, a nice blue coat to cry into. He wasn’t going to deny them that after all they’d been through. Explanations could wait for some other time. He still didn’t know half the story yet, but he wasn’t going to force an explanation when they were like this.

Instead, he took the teary-eyed kid in his arms and pressed his skull against their head, letting them shudder, letting them cry until finally they stopped, not because they had been able to, but because they’d fallen asleep.

Sans considered where he should take them; clearly not his place. No, that’d be torture for them both. Taking them to the door lady seemed excessive, and they might not want to go back through the underground again, especially given the memories it’d hold… some of which were courtesy of him.

So he decided not to take them anywhere. It was what he liked to do, as most would know. He liked doing absolutely nothing. Anyone else, he might have even left them there, but there was something about the kid; something about Chara Dreemurr, as they had once been known, that made it impossible for him to leave.

Perhaps it was just a fear that had been deep-rooted by the last timeline; a fear that if he left them alone for a moment, they’d kill someone, but more likely, it was something else altogether…

This kid had shown him every bit of _LOVE_ they had. But he knew now, that behind that tough exterior, their soul was soft, weak, and full not of the upper-case he was familiar seeing from them, but with the lower-case variety.

Given he’d never seen that side of them before, if there was one thing that he knew about what would come next, it was that, if anything, it was going to be one heck of a wild ride.

After all, if their _love_ was as strong as their _LOVE_ had been, he wasn’t sure he deserved to touch it.

*          *          *

When Chara’s eyes swept open, they were surprised to find themselves staring at a blue jacket, or to find a series of phalanges gently laced around their shoulder-length hair.

They didn’t expect to see his chest rise and fall in and out with the grace of a waves lapping up against the sand of a tropical beach, or to feel the warm glow of his soul on their face, having moved between his exposed bones and into an unprotected spot between them.

They didn’t expect to feel safe, or comforted. They expected what they’d had from when they could remember, and probably before, not solace or protection.

They hadn’t expected to be nestled right up against his exposed, beautiful white bones, bones normally hidden behind a deadly blue jacket, encased by the tundra of fluffy white that made a headrest better than any other, and they certainly hadn’t expected their soul to come out next to his.

They watched as the two souls brushed gently, carefully across each other, feeling unadulterated pleasure throb through them as the magic leapt like sparks between the two souls.

The memories, belonging not to them, but to him, passed through their mind. They watched through his eyes as his brother was struck down by their hand, felt the pain from the wound in that final corridor, seconds after the knife had sliced across his chest.

They felt that fear as they watched a human, one with tell-tale red eyes, push through the door and emerge onto the path through the woods, followed by the confusion when they hadn’t a speck of dust on their sweater, not the same one as usual, and the terror as they spoke outright to Papyrus.

How much had this skeleton been through? He deserved so much better than them, so much better than what he was getting. He deserved people who loved him with everything they had, but also knew what was going on. He needed someone who understood him.

Sans felt the pain as they watched their brother, pure, perfect, fur white like snow, as he turned into a corrupted monstrosity, calling himself ‘Flowey’ as he hurt people over and over again.

He felt the sickening, heart-wrenching terror, knowing that every time they met someone kind, their hand would move without their permission, as Papyrus used his last moments telling them how much he believed in them, no matter what happened.

He flicked his eyes open, feeling a red glare cutting down into his sockets. Their gaze was serious, determined, as if they had found something worthwhile to accomplish.

He didn’t expect to be flung back against his stand with a force he would have expected from the demon, only to be caressed; to feel smooth hands rub gently against his thighs, using them as a pivot to press themselves forward, swinging their soul along his gently, carefully, allowing the magic to leap between the two yet again; the feeling of elation to rebuild in their hearts and their breathing to quicken as they pressed tongue to magic and lip to invisible barrier, soul to soul and magic to magic, red against blue; red against white.

He felt the aching desire that had built up after waterfall, the pain they’d known; that they weren’t good enough for him, but that he was the only one out there who understood them; who they were, what they’d done.

Chara gazed into his eyelights, now blazing a brilliant blue as they felt the strange attraction he’d had, the force that had drawn him to them like a moth to a flame, without him really knowing why-

They were flung around as he landed himself atop, and couldn’t help but let out a small squeal of surprise before embracing the movement and pulling him in, letting his skull brush up against their chest; allowing their breathing to speed up as he ran fingers across their hips, not even attempting to control the excitement.

Sans felt every ounce of fear he’d ever had of the human opposite him leave in a moment. They had never been a threat to him. He’d just wanted to see it that way. It made it easier to accept; assuming the simplest solution was the correct one.

They stopped, letting their eyes trace each other, the intimate understanding of the other crossing between them; knowledge of how the other thought, worked; what they believed in.

The smile that greeted Sans was a pleasurable one, accompanied by a small laugh as they ran a hand down his face, using the other to lift his coat aside. _“I thought I knew you, but you’re so much more amazing than I thought… You’ve been through so much heartache, so much pain, but you never let it control you; never let it beat you.”_ They laughed, pinning him to the ground with a hand across the ribs, _“You deserve so many amazing things for what you’ve done.”_

Sans allowed them to pin him down, allowed them to press their soul against his, letting soft sparks of magic come between the two of them as their heads engaged in an exuberant dance.

He pushed them against him now, then spoke again, “that… that selflessness. that’s one of the things i love you for, but you also have so many expressions… you’re an open book, even more to me now.”

As Chara let out a gleeful laugh, joy populating their eyes, a beautiful sanguine, for the first time in a long, long time, “right now there’s so much written on your face, and, now i understand how it happened, i love every single word of it.”

As their energy finally waned, the magic exchanging between their souls slowing to a trickle, Chara pressed up against his ribs; his shoulders and his pelvis just next to them. They rolled off of him, relieving the pressure, then laughed, _“It’s funny, but I don’t even care if anyone saw us. I wouldn’t mind.”_ They sighed, _“I’d double, no, triple my pain if I could be with you forever. And I don’t care if anyone or anything stands in my way. You’re an amazing person Sans. You don’t deserve me, but if you feel like you do, then I’ll make sure to fulfil that expectation.”_

Sans had no response, he merely parted their hair with a phalange. Their eyes were like nothing he’d ever seen. They probably weren’t natural for a human. But it didn’t matter to him; he wouldn’t care if they weren’t even human at all, because they were his. The best person he could have hoped to end up with and they felt they weren’t right for him? They had gone through so many things, so much pain. Some of it, he had even caused! If anyone should be saying that, it was him.

Chara picked up the coat and draped it over the pair of them like a sort of makeshift blanket. They sat there for a while, sampling the view of the core, watching in its grandeur, and finishing off the last two ‘Dogs.

They’d finally found something, no, someone to live for, someone that made them want to escape the hell within which they were trapped. And the thought that they finally had a purpose was too great to imagine.

So they interlaced legs at the knee, sharing a coat with someone they surely didn’t deserve in a thousand years as they watched the magma between them and the core as it bubbled vigorously, each taking bites into an ‘Dog, both of which were layered with a little ketchup, making them taste like heaven on a plate. (Without said plate, of course)

It was bliss; the closest to heaven a demon could ever get. And Chara was sure to savour every second.


	32. Intermission 8: Tibia honest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This intermission is otherwise known as  
> 
> 
> ### 
> 
> Proof that not _all_ intermissions are gut-wrenching character-deaths or depressing internal monologues, it's just most intermissions that are like that
> 
> ### 
> 
> Have fun reading guys. This is literally the only nice intermission you'll get from now on... =D

Intermission 8: Tibia honest

The kid was asleep. They had stayed there, hands wrapped around his ribs in as intimate a manner as expected for one who had touched souls, and then drifted off into his coat while watching the lava and the core.

Sans didn’t mind the fact that this was a kid. Chara was technically over two decades old, and at least a few years more if you counted the resets…

He didn’t quite know why they only seemed to apologize for the last timeline, as if he hadn’t suffered through it before.

Perhaps it was their coping mechanism… to go through it like it was the first time every single time it happened, by erasing their memory before bringing it all back.

He knew what happened at the end. That was why they deserved him, and not the other way round. They always did the one thing nobody else could. They stopped the _murderer;_ no, the _dirty brother killer_ and brought everyone back. Even more, they never flagged, never showed up late. It wouldn’t surprise him if the kid did block their own memories each time…

Which begged the question, why didn’t they do that last time around?

Sans sighed, it didn’t matter. He was glad to have the company he did; regardless of how he knew he’d never fully understand them. But he could make himself a promise. If they EVER killed anyone again, he’d make sure to give them a bad time.

After all, even if they regretted it, they were just another killer; Forgettable after hundreds, no, thousands of resets.

_No point crying over spilt milk._

No… That was too blunt, even for him. This kid had been through hell and come out the other side mentally stable. So, for them, he was willing to put his concerns, and his anger, even his regret… He would put them aside, because they needed him to.

Acting like it was the last time around and everyone was dead would only push the kid to make it that way.

_Acting like everyone was dead wouldn’t bring Paps back either._

Chara, as they were named; a name he was still uneasy saying, but he supposed he may as well use it – had a feeling they might object to being called ‘kid’ all the time, had a faint smile on their face, and their cheeks looked full.

He hadn’t seen them happy since they’d walked out of the ruins, and that was what he meant. They needed him to smile, to be a good person to them, even if he disliked the events they were tied so closely to. He trusted he’d receive explanations in time.

After all, now that he thought about it, why he’d trusted a voice in an echo flower to understand a situation was beyond him. It was impossible to imagine this kid would even hurt a fly. So how could they do _that_ single-handedly?

He knew there were many entities that were manipulative in the face of countless resets; the flower was one he now knew a little more about, meaning he might not be able to kill it in a future confrontation; how would they look at him if he did that to their brother? No matter how twisted he was, he couldn’t hurt Chara like that again. He knew now that it had nearly pushed them over the edge.

He had a feeling they were blocking him from seeing some of their memories, but it wasn’t like they didn’t have a traumatic history. There were things they were bound to want to keep to themselves, right?

But could he trust them, if they were hiding their memories, while he was entirely open with his?

What could they have to hide? Perhaps some facts that could suggest they were a killer. He supposed he’d have to find out somewhere else, like MTT resort, or if the worst came to the worst, even the final corridor.

He let out some breath as a gentle arm seemed to sense his anxiety and brushed gently down his collarbone before pulling him back in as they pressed up against him.

 _Tibia_ honest, he probably hadn’t asked the questions he shoulda asked. He was too lazy to, as usual.

But he could fix that easily enough, couldn’t he? Oh hell, this was so complicated. The kid had gone through and killed so many people, but rather than doing what he should have, like stopping them, or making them pay, he’d been drawn to them. He’d fallen in love.

A striking scarlet pupil met with his eyes, _“Don’t blame yourself for my actions Sans.”_ A faint smile graced their face, _“And besides, it’s not like this is anything painful or bad, right?”_

Sans froze up. Perhaps touching souls with them wasn’t the smartest idea he’d ever had. Then sighed, resigned.

They leaned against the stand next to him, propping their jaw in one hand and using the other to caress his cheek. _“I’m happy to let you do what you want to me, anytime. You have up to the final corridor to decide, you know?”_ Their face fell for a moment, the burning crimson of their eyes flickering briefly, _“It’s just, I like you, I mean, really like you. I don’t want to feel like I didn’t use this opportunity, you know?”_

They let out a short chuckle, _“I’m a right idiot sometimes, aren’t I? I get you all killed, and then admit feelings of love to the one person who remembers?”_ but it was humourless. Sans knew the laugh well. It was the laugh of someone who thought they were the butt of a cosmic joke.

Sans looked them in the eye, feeling his left socket burning bright blue, “chara, you’re the smartest, strongest, cutest, most brilliant kid i’ve ever met. so please, kid...” He let the fire in his eye flare up as he spoke, making sure the message was deadly serious. **“don’t put yourself down like that.”**

There was a warm heat in their cheeks, normally rosy anyway, but definitely more shaded than normal. They smiled, but it looked forced, _“I don’t deserve you Sans. The fact you’re willing to put all that behind you proves that. But if you want me around, then I’ll stay, **for you.** ”_

Sans seemed to shrink back, taken off guard, “wow kid. what did i even do to end up with you?” He asked, running a bony hand along their shoulders and back as they sat there in the half-light.

Chara smiled, leaning in, _“Only the thing you like doing the most – nothing – of course.”_ They joked before pressing their head against his ribs, feeling them rise and fall ever so slightly faster as they did, _“As for me… I guess I just came into your life like a freight train.”_

There was a pause in which Sans considered. They really had entered his life without warning or explanation, like a freight train, blowing him clean off his feet. Ever since the last reset, this was uncharted territory, and it was both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

The human next to him sighed. He shuddered as he felt their breath against his ribs, then they spoke, _“Do you believe in destiny, Sans?”_ They asked, then smiled a little.

Sans sighed, “far as i’m concerned, you can make your destiny if you’re willing to put everything out there and try.” He gave a chuckle, if this was the kid’s version of pillow talk, they were very philosophical indeed, “paps would agree if he was here now.”

Chara gave a laugh, _“Yeah, I think so too.”_ They returned, but their brow furrowed and their face was riddled with concern; it felt a little forced. Then they shuddered, _“It’s just, I feel like I’m close, but I can’t shake the feeling that something big is coming, what with people vanishing left and right, it feels like it’s all going to end again.”_ They sighed, _“I let myself care this time, about all of you guys, and knowing I might lose you all, I’m terrified.”_

Sans tried a weak grin, “story of my life, char… but i’m willing to put that fear aside for you. to put faith in the idea that even the worst person can change for good.” He looked into the red pupils, stained from fear, shaking a little with the threat of tears, “and you’re a long, long way from the worst person.”

Chara cried as they embraced him. They shuddered, _“I shouldn’t be crying. Big kids don’t cry, right?”_ But it was too late, and they couldn’t close the floodgates now that they’d opened.

Sans sighed, recalling how he’d been in so much pain after Paps died, how every time he cried, until after many timelines, he didn’t even cry at all, “it’s fine to cry every once in a while.” He reminded them as they nestled their head into his shoulder blades.

Chara smiled, _“I know, I’m learning that now.”_ Then they sighed, _“I’m no angel, but I don’t think I’m a demon either.”_ They shuddered, _“I’m human, and it hurts, knowing I can’t even blame my nature for my mistakes.”_

Sans couldn’t help but feel an ache in his soul from sheer empathy as the hands gripping him fell limp and the kid fell into him, resting their head securely against his coat.

Maybe Chara wasn’t the greatest person, but they were trying their best, and that was what mattered.


	33. Chapter 23: Yellow petals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now to move on and finally meet a certain sheepish yellow lizard.  
> (Probably the cutest yellow lizard alive too uwu.)
> 
> But don't forget the mood whiplash and self-loathing depression. We need those too, right? =D

Chapter 23: Yellow petals

With the grease, a blissful aftertaste left behind from the not-really hot dogs that Sans sold, in their mouth, Chara did feel their stomach turn slightly. They’d never particularly liked grease, but no regrets, they’d got a perfect skeleton, or, as he’d probably label things, a ‘verta-bae’ for their troubles.

It felt strange, almost painful, entering the lab after all these years. Last time they’d been there, they’d killed for the first time. It still made them feel sick. Especially how, in the end, it hadn’t done anything to change their fate.

Inside the lab, there was a faint buzzing sound, like that of an electric generator, and even in the faint light, the floors and walls still were in pristine cleanliness.

What wasn’t there any other time they’d entered, however, and took Chara much by surprise, was Alphys. A yellow lizard about their height (which is to say, rather small), and wearing glasses that made her look even more of a nerd than she already was if what Undyne had said was to be believed.

Alphys seemed to shudder on the spot, as if unsure how to react to a human, or was it just how to react to _Chara_? It was hard to tell.

“Erm… h-hi?” The lizard tried, nervously tapping her claws together as her eyes darted from side to side, left and right. She seemed preoccupied.

Chara decided to respond with a lazy grin, but nothing too overpowering, _“So you’re Dr Alphys; as I’ve been told, the cutest, smartest nerd in Hotland?”_ Chara couldn’t help but smile, recalling Undyne’s sentiment. Despite the big personality, the captain of the royal guard had a big heart.

The yellow monster blanched, a few beads of sweat running down her cheeks, “Y-yes?” When Chara let out a small giggle, Alphys realised her error and desperately backpedalled “I-I mean the d-d-doctor Alphys bit, not the, you know, c-c-cute n-nerd part.” Only this was responded to with another laugh, which made the lizard blush further.

When silence fell over the room again, Chara made sure to break it again. _“Well, I wasn’t expecting you to be so easily flustered, but, I can see why she likes you.”_

When there was no response from the doctor, they continued, _“Let me guess you made some kind of robot that’s out for blood or something? Please, just spare me the intro, I get it, you all want to kill the human, I know…”_ Only then did they realise the small scientist had begun to cry.

“T-to think I e-even thought you were a – a bad person…” The doctor seemed to shudder, and then turned away, “I’m the one you sh-should hate here. I – I hurt so-”

 _“-many people?”_ Chara suggested, leaning against the fridge nonchalantly, _“Nah, that ‘honour’ goes to me. You probably don’t know it, but everyone in the underground, aside from the few you evacuated, has died to me.”_

Alphys froze, wiping her face, “Wait, w-what?” She seemed unsure of herself, but it was better than certain she was a failure.

 _“Yeah, I kinda suck as a person, and probably deserve a magic attack to the face.”_ They looked down into the ground, they didn’t exactly want it to swallow them up, but they’d give anything for it to offer a distraction. They let out a laugh, but it was humourless, pained, _“You should have seen Undyne… Her death, it was so anime, you’d think she was doing it for a camera or something…”_

There was a silence as Alphys realised the implications, “Wait, you k-k-know about that?” She stammered. They knew about the cameras, but that was unsurprising, but did they also know about her feelings for Undyne. Were the feelings reciprocated? No, they couldn’t be. She would never deserve Undyne.

Chara opened the fridge and took a packet of noodles, taking them out and chomping on the brittle, raw starch with a snap. They were better raw, if you wanted diarrhoea, which Chara did, to be honest. It’d be a fitting punishment for their actions, not a large enough one, but they’d died before, multiple times, and even that wasn’t enough to redeem them.

Alphys seemed taken aback by how the kid had just taken a pack of noodles from the fridge and started eating them raw. She was conflicted for a few moments, should she heat them up, or would that be intruding? Perhaps it was human custom to eat noodles raw. But then why had she never seen that in any of the anime she watched? Surely it was _slightly_ accurate, right?

The second crunch as Chara made sure to give themselves a jaw ache was what brought Alphys out of frozen confusion, and caused her to make her move. “I-I don’t know if you l-like them like that, b-b-but if you want I-I’ll heat them up for you. I-I think they’ll taste b-better that way?”

Chara felt a frustration rising in their chest, did she not realise who she was talking to? The kid who had literally eaten buttercups, straight from the ground, to kill themselves, suicide, in the most painful way possible, in a failed attempt to punish themselves for being a miserable failure. Did she really think they were bothered by raw noodles? Did she think they even wanted to feel cared for? That they had killed people who offered them love because they wanted to feel secure?

They took another bite, signalling without words that the answer to that was a no, but felt something else rising in their chest, something that took hold as the anger receded, making them take a larger bite, this time trying to imagine it sweet, like chocolate. What they wouldn’t give for a bar of chocolate right now...

But they failed, as they often had and still did, and the wave of guilt that rose in their chest overwhelmed them, causing them to let out a small sob. They’d gotten angry at someone for offering to heat up their food. How messed up were they anyway?

It took them off guard when the doctor sat down beside them with a separate pack of raw noodles and ate some herself. Alphys’ face contorted, but she managed to swallow, then looked across at the kid, self-pitying, evidently, and spoke, “Sh-should I try t-to talk to you or…”

Chara let out a distressed laugh, _“If you want everyone you care about to get hurt, then be my guest.”_ They noticed Alphys’ shocked expression, so decided to elaborate, _“I mean, I come into a family of healers and I get that destroyed, in fact, the only thing I’m good at is destroying good, beautiful things that I adore to every capacity.”_ They shuddered and forced another bite down.

Alphys decided it was probably best to remain silent and let them recover. She’d been like this once or twice, and the only thing that allowed her to get better was peace and quiet, but she wasn’t sure if it had, after all, since then, she’d started stammering, hadn’t she?

Chara felt their stomach twist with guilt, now, not only were they coming along destroying things, but they were making people destroy themselves. What on Earth was wrong with them?

They chuckled, tears running down their face as it built to a massive, uncontrollable laugh. _“It’s like I’m the butt of some cosmic joke. I can’t even kill myself, or I’ll just wake up back where I started off.”_ They were laughing so hard they couldn’t stop, but it wasn’t funny, none of it was funny, _“But no matter how much I want to go back, I can’t go back to when my brother was alive with me.”_ Why were they telling her this? They were such a horrible person for putting this burden on her. She already had enough to worry about anyway, didn’t she?

Chara curled up as their stomach tied itself into a knot. They couldn’t even eat the rancid-tasting raw noodles anymore. _“I am a bad person, like you said. The only reason I’m still here is because the universe won’t let me...”_ They felt a sob rise in their chest; _“Won’t let me…”_ They felt a soft wetness on the side of their cheek, and decided to stop there.

The hum of the generator was the only thing that punctuated the otherwise silent lab. It wouldn’t be much of a surprise if Mettaton made an entrance, but it seemed he was out. Who knows, maybe he was grocery shopping or something.

Nobody even dared speak. Alphys instead wrapped her arms around the human, the pathetic, snivelling, disgusting husk of a worthless human who was covered in the dust of so many people they didn’t even deserve it and they knew it.

They wanted to kill her just to make it stop, that’s what they’d done last time, but it hadn’t stopped, in fact, as they’d killed people, it had only gotten worse, and by the end of the ruins, they couldn’t do it any more, only to find their hands were moving on their own…

They cried almost silently, they wanted to stop making such a huge fool of themselves, after all, big kids don’t cry, and surely, given they’d already cried their eyes out over Sans, they shouldn’t be doing it again?

But they weren’t a big kid, were they? They were just a pathetic loser, an idiot who had teased their brother, their brilliant, immaculate, perfect brother for doing exactly what they were doing now. What kind of sibling does that anyway?

And now he was gone, they’d never see him again, they’d never be able to rub their face up against his soft, kind, gentle fur, they’d never even be able to tell him how much they loved him, because all that was left was a flower, his dust pretending to be him as it wore his name and it was all their fault!

What was the worst part? The flower was yellow. Yellow petals like the sort they’d eaten to punish themselves, the sort that had caused them to vomit, to produce bloody diarrhoea, or the kind they’d told him they wanted to see again up in their village on the surface to try to comfort him as he cried by their bedside. No, as they’d both cried, but Chara was sweating so much the tears vanished into a sea on their face.

Flowey was a reminder of who they were and what they’d done. An echo of the mistakes they’d made, and a warning of what happened to people who Chara, the demon who comes when you call their name, cared about. They didn’t deserve sympathy. In fact, they deserved a bone, or a spear, or a giant anime sword through the chest a thousand times over for what they’d done.

There were beads of sweat on Alphys’ face. Was this what lying did to you? Did it really leave you self-pitying, perhaps even broken and afraid? Perhaps she should tell everyone about the amalgamates, perhaps after all this time she should let them go home, but… but… what would everyone think of her then?

There was a reassuring hand on her shoulder. _“Alphys, I’m the one who’s made the worst mistakes here, so don’t beat yourself up for trying to do the right thing. It’s a better choice than I’ve ever made…”_ Their voice was a little shaky from tears they were trying to force back, because if they let so much as a few out freely, they wouldn’t be able to stop until they’d cried themselves dry.

There was a near silence in the lab, a silence that was broken when Alphys sighed, “No Chara, I-If it’s anyone’s f-fault for how your b-brother is r-right now, it’s mine.” Her voice was firmer and less stuttered than usual.

Chara wanted to feel happy about that Idea, but there couldn’t be a way in hell that Alphys couldn’t know that wasn’t what they meant. So they took in air, with what had to be the most disgusting snivel they’d ever heard. They were worse than Asriel and they had mocked _him_ for crying.

They sighed sadly and looked down at the tiled floor, this place held so many bad memories for them, what was one more anyways?

Then they looked Alphys in the eye, _“The monsters looked up to me for hope Alphys, and I went and tore their hearts out by getting two royal children killed in one day.”_ The effect wasn’t the one they wanted, as Alphys looked like she was about to try to comfort them, so they continued, _“What’s worse, if I hadn’t let up, if I’d just followed the plan, then all humans would be dead and gone, but… at least I’d still have my brother, right?”_ They shuddered, _“I chose not to kill all humanity, and I still don’t know if I chose right. What on earth is wrong with me?”_ A smile, but nothing was funny, _“No, don’t answer that, the answer is ‘everything’.”_

Alphys was surprised, definitely. The emotional baggage this kid had been carrying, it was horrifying, and that probably wasn’t even the whole story. She doubted she’d ever get the whole story; even if she shackled them to a pole and beat them until the only thought on their mind became ‘obey commands’, and what kind of a person would do that anyway?

Chara smiled to hide the fact that their heart was retching in their chest and their eyes were fighting to send tears down their face like there was no tomorrow, _“I’ve always hated this place. Nothing good ever happened to me here while I was alive, and now I bet my brother hates it too, even though I fought my conscience and won in order to keep him safe.”_ They shuddered, the smile fading away like the afterglow of an old-fashioned lamp that had been switched off, _“I’m a failure, as an angel, and as a sibling. I don’t deserve sympathy, or anything but punishment and pain.”_

As Chara sat there, crunching into disgusting bite after soul-rending bite of raw noodles, as per their preference to cause themselves eternal pain and suffering, a silence hung over the room, disrupted only when they let their guard down and a sob escaped from their mouth. Pathetic! That was the only word to describe them – pathetic. They deserved this.

Sometimes, the crunch of the noodles tasted felt the petals of the buttercups, and for a moment they could see the pollen staining their tongue and their hands as they forced more down, despite their entire body wanting to throw up over the grass, and the fever that was already mounting even as they sat there, rising until they collapsed into a pile of green and yellow and brown, within a mesh of greens, yellows, and musty browns. They liked the ground there. They’d fit right in.

“Er… w-would you like your t-t-tapes back?” Alphys asked, sweating even more than usual. No surprises there. She was looking at the worst person to walk the Earth, no wonder she was sweating bullets.

Wait… tapes? Could she possibly mean _those_ tapes? Chara shuddered overtly, those tapes were the worst. There were there solely as evidence, to prove to Gaster’s followers that they’d done as they’d been asked, and given that the tapes were still there, it sounded like they’d done it all for no reason whatsoever. They’d gotten their brother killed to save him from nobody.

They almost forgot to answer, _“I guess I’ll have the first two with me and Asriel…”_ Their face contorted when they said ‘me’, _“But not the last ones, I don’t want to have to go through what I did again.”_ I already see it enough each night, they thought.

Alphys sighed, so that was a no then. “H-hey, do y-you want m-me t-to upgrade y-your phone?” She tried. There wasn’t a way in the universe it could go worse than last time, right?

 _“Don’t bother.”_ A pained, mirthless laugh, _“It’s like me, a useless piece of junk that gets bad reception wherever it goes, except in the underground. I don’t deserve anything better.”_ Chara sighed, _“Especially not after what I did.”_

Alphys sighed sadly, she didn’t think anyone could possibly be worse when it came to destroying the mood than she was, but lo and behold, there they were, and they’d just done it about five times in a minute.

Again, a shudder, _“I’m sorry, I just… I hate myself, who I am, what I’ve done, what I stand for, so, so much, and I always end up hurting other people because they just want to make me feel better. It’s pathetic, isn’t it? Even in the company of a friend I can’t stop feeling like I don’t belong…”_

The fallen child started to sob. They were pathetic, right? They’d come into the lab; the home of Dr Alphys, the royal scientist, stole her noodles and eaten them raw in front of her, and made her feel horrible by being their usual, despicable self. They tossed the phone at her feet shuddered uncontrollably, _“Upgrade it anyway; maybe it’ll do me some good…”_

While the phone was being finished, a small white dog entered the room from… somewhere… It curled up next to them, resting its head on their lap, and slept soundly. They sighed, maybe they were being too hard on themselves; the dog seemed to trust them, didn’t it?

But that was the problem. Monsters were all too trusting, too kind, and someday, somebody was going to take advantage of that kindness and hurt them all.

They were so wrapped up in that chain of thought that they didn’t even notice the phone until it clattered down onto their legs. Upgrades such as texting and Undernet had been added. Surely they didn’t deserve Undernet with an account pre-made, right?

And on the account, it got even worse. Apparently they had a few messages already.

ALPHYS: >I’ve set you up an undernet account, do you like it? ^.^

skelepuns:>heya. i hope you’re not feeling **bonely**.

Napstablook22:>Hi……. Oh no, I don’t have any ideas as to what to say……….

Strongfish91:>Hey PUNK! Alphys set you up an Undernet account? That’s AWESOME!!

METTATON:>Glitz, glamour, and all your favourite shows are just a click away at MTTLive.co.ug

Chara felt like sobbing, or perhaps throwing the phone or weeping with joy. They didn’t deserve this at all. All these friends, and they’d end up letting all of them down wouldn’t they. The couldn’t do this again, pretend to be a good person like they had with Asriel, they couldn’t-

The arms that wrapped around them were scaly, but soft. They shuddered, fighting back the tears. They couldn’t cry now, that’d be stupid, wouldn’t it? They breathed in and out slowly, controlling it, _“I- I don’t know how to thank you.”_

Alphys smiled as if Chara had just told her a joke, “You don’t have to. I’m your friend, right? I can do favours for you whenever.”

In a place so full of bad memories, a good memory was a much welcomed change of scenery, and for a moment, it felt as if there was hope for the future, and the idea of a better future for everyone… it filled them with _determination_.


	34. Chapter 24: That's what friends are for...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Me: Let's introduce about ten new characters one each chapter and see how the readers react!  
> Chara & My Subconscious: No, eJ121, no...  
> Me: YES EJ121 YES!!!  
> Chara: Since when did you turn into Papyrus?  
> Me: I don't know human... I the Great Papyrus have been well and truly japed.  
> My subconscious: *Facepalm*
> 
> ### 
> 
> Anyway... This chapter features the fourth action scene from the entire book. If you're looking for music to it, why not try this [amazing remix](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdzbmbG8mys) by [ElectricMudkip](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpy3B0v_8FPbD3uGXvPlGYA)
> 
> You won't regret it.

Chapter 24: That's what friends are for...

When Hotland returned, so did its excruciating heat. There had been a fair number of puzzles relating to steam vents and perhaps even some relating to moving blocks. Vulkin was just as innocent as expected, and Tsunderplane… well, they were their usual self (‘NO! Why would I like YOU?’).

It was almost worrying, how quiet it was though, normally there would have been at least a Pyrope, or another random civilian out, but instead it was completely silent. It was like people were being evacuated, a thought that sent a chill up Chara’s spine. Surely they weren’t killing everyone again? Surely there wasn’t any dust on their hands this time…

Seem as they had a bit of _time to kill_ , they took out their phone and decided to engage in a useful conversation. After all, with the minimally taxing puzzles and the invading tide of boredom now that Alphys was done being a dork, they didn’t exactly have anything better to do.

skelepuns:>i’ll **patella** you an **ulna** if you reply.

Yeah, Sans had been particularly relentless since they’d received an Undernet account, and after half an hour of the same bone jokes, it wasn’t funny anymore. What was, as far as Chara was concerned, a much better joke, was their deliberate lack of response. However, they had to admit, that one was alright, and they were done toying with him, so it was time to reply back.

fallen:>Sure, why not? You seem like a de **sans** guy.

skelepuns:>really? you think i’m **humerus**?

Yeah, their pun had been a bit of a stretch, and Sans had found a reply almost instantaneously, but that was good, they liked that he could think on his feet like that, rather than being blown out the water when they finally replied after half an hour of silence.

It felt good, knowing he wasn’t surprised by them, but it hurt, knowing that the part of that sentence they’d chosen to crop was ‘any more’.

fallen:>Yeah… not that I **chara** lot about that…

skelepuns:>you sure about mentioning our names here?

Certainly, this was a private chat. Why not? Now to grill him on that slip up, apparently they still could surprise him, just not as often.

fallen:>No pun? You’re slipping. But soon you’ll be back _on form_ … or not… **dust** another response, right?

Okay, maybe that was a little harsh, but it was tough love, make him feel bad for not giving them another one. Then maybe he’d blow a gasket and send them a mountain of puns. Perhaps it’d be overwhelming, but it’d be fun reading through them.

skelepuns:>ouch. you’ve got a sick sense of humour kid.

fallen:>Don’t act like you don’t know that, **numbskull**.

Was he deliberately not responding with puns, or were they scaring him now? Perhaps they needed to ground the conversation, remind him that they weren’t sitting in a genocide timeline, that they hadn’t dusted anyone. It’d be hard for him to feel the difference right now. Papyrus was gone, so he’d probably struggle with it… a lot…

fallen:>sorry, i wasn’t thinking when i said that. probably scared you a bit, didn’t i?

Ugh. Their conscience, such a horrible part of them, wasn’t it? It told them to apologise for being an idiot, even though they’d just been trying to tease him a little, make him tease back. They even fought a battle with their autocorrect to type in lowercase.

skelepuns:>wow. i didn’t think you’d fall for it that easy…

skelepuns:>and about the puns, don’t worry, i got a **femur** *wink*

Had they just fought a battle with their autocorrect for nothing? Was he… Oh my God! He was teasing them back wasn’t he? It was so pathetic that they fell for that so easily. They were such an idiot sometimes, weren’t they?

Chara suppressed a smile, and decided to turn their mental resources to thinking of a response.

fallen:> Good! I was worried there Sans! Don’t do that to me!!!

Now it was definitely Sans turn to sweat buckets and apologize, there was no way in a million years he could possibly realise that they were teasing him and they would be so triumphant when-

skelepuns:>heh, you’re teasing me.

And with that, Chara’s dreams of being a manipulative evil genius collapsed into a cloud of ash.

fallen:>How did you know?!!

skelepuns:>I didn’t. I was just **going out on a limb**.

Chara sighed, this was getting infuriating. They tried a quick multitask, moving a few boxes out of the way to fire into the ‘enemy ship’ in one of the new puzzles, but failed irredeemably. They frustration of being outed by Sans was infuriating at best.

fallen:>About earlier… If you don’t want to be around me, then…

skelepuns:>cmon, don’t put yourself down kid. i’m here worrying you don’t want me around.

The reply was almost immediate, so Chara elected against trying to solve the puzzle, instead slumping back against the black of the screen, extending their legs out before them and sighing as they ran a hand through their sweaty, matted hair.

fallen:>I should be apologizing, and even then it wouldn’t be enough for what I did.

skelepuns:>what did i just say char?

Chara let out a long, exhausted breath, they knew what he’d said, and they understood it, but they didn’t deserve it. They didn’t deserve him.

fallen:>I know, it’s just… I can’t keep pretending I deserve your friendship, let alone…

skelepuns:> **chara. stop it.** you deserve all the friends you get, if you didn’t, why would you get them?

Now hoping for the display to flicker out of existence, to find themselves falling into the void to their inevitable demise, Chara shuddered, none of them would remember the last timeline except him, and they’d hurt him so badly, and he didn’t know why, or how, or even what they’d done. They didn’t deserve him.

fallen:>But none of you guys remember. How can you tell me I deserve you when you don’t even know what I’ve ACTUALLY done?

skelepuns:>i’m not gonna win this battle anytime soon, am i?

Chara bit their lip, _guilty_. It was obvious, wasn’t it? They were such a horrible person. They couldn’t even accept what they were given, what lovely opportunities and kindred spirits they were given. Unless what they were given was a knife and a piece of their heart to drive it into, they didn’t know how to respond. They were broken like that.

fallen:>I suck that much, don’t I… It’s that obvious that I can’t accept it when life gives me something positive, isn’t it. Unless the world is against me, I don’t know what to do… How to react… I’m a terrible person, I don’t deserve sympathy, do I?

skelepuns:>other people might come along, tell you that you don’t deserve things, tell you that you’re awful or stupid or a waste of space, but don’t you **ever** tell that to yourself char. you deserve to live without thinking everyone should hate you, kid, the fact you even think you don’t is a sin in and of itself.

Chara sighed sadly, he was right, but it was pointless thinking that now, after all they’d done. If they ever allowed themselves to be okay with what they’d done, they’d be wrong, morally. They’d killed everyone, and none of them remembered. It’d be wrong if they were okay with that, as if it was forgotten. There was only one person who could beat them up over their mistakes, and that was them, so they had to do what the others would do if any of them could remember how much pain they’d caused.

fallen:>You’re right, about me, about that. I don’t know what I did to end up with someone so perceptive, Sans. But I don’t want to hurt you at some point, like I know I will, directly or otherwise. So please, just… let me suffer through all this by myself.

skelepuns:>char. you know i can’t do that. i can’t let you go through all the pain i know you’re going through by yourself, so let me stand by your side.

Chara couldn’t help but feel a gentle rising in their gut. He was so kind, so unconditionally loving. He was like their brother was while they were both alive, but he understood them, properly, and wouldn’t be afraid to call them out on their errors if they did something despicable or wrong. He was the ying for their yang.

fallen:>You know Sans, sometimes, I don’t know what I’d do without you, where I’d have ended up…

skelepuns:>prolly nowhere worth mentioning in a family-friendly feature.

Guilt was the second thing that overwhelmed them, a reminder they weren’t exactly the perfect person, just what they needed…

fallen:>Yeah, just what I thought.

They folded up their new, upgraded phone, shoving it as deeply as they could into their pocket, as if the membranes of fabric had somehow offended them, despite years, lifetimes of faithful service.

It hurt, knowing that you didn’t deserve anything you received, knowing that, come the end of the month, you’d get what you really deserved and someone would take it all from you, but it was something you learned the hard way. Life always throws a curveball, and if you’re not on your feet when it comes, you’ll get hurt, badly. That’s when you regret having friends, because you hurt them.

Chara solved the puzzle with a few quick movements, ignoring the frequent vibrations from their pocket. Evidently, Sans had realised his ‘mistake’. He was correct though, he shouldn’t feel bad for telling the obvious, but painful truth, and it was their fault he did.

They sighed, fingers clenching around a knife, rusty and buckled from its previous use, uses with power but also control that had fatigued the blade beyond repair. Their knuckles were white from clenching the blade so hard. But it was surely time to show the world what they were. Nothing worth feeling good about, nobody worth caring for…

Leaving the room, they moved quickly, without hesitation, but with a pain in their chest, they weren’t doing the right thing by proving what had been said about them true, but it was already true anyway, right?

Just before the steam vents, there was a breeze behind them, petals flittering gently down to the ground. The petals were yellow, but it wasn’t their best friend. He never did that.

“Stop right there!” The voice behind them was that of a kid, just like them. It was terrified, just like them, hoarse, just like them.

They took the blade between two hands. Did they want this? Did they want dust on their hands? Did they want the pain of having hurt someone again? Their phone buzzed and they looked down at it. Did they want to lose Sans?

“S-stay put.” A few wild swings of the monster’s blade followed, swings that were aimed with power, but without control. Pathetic swings that didn’t even deserve considering as swings. Their phone buzzed again and they shuddered. The person opposite them should perhaps consider a less obtrusive wardrobe.

They sighed, they’d have to talk to them to decide what they wanted to do here. They weren’t sure they could do it otherwise. So they spoke, _“Hey there, I haven’t seen you around here before… how are you on this fine day?”_ Their tone sounded so faked, so wrong, it was almost funny.

“S-stop that!” A series of quick, high-power swings were aimed at them now, faster, quicker, in groups of four. Perhaps this fighter did have control over their blade. Maybe they were testing the waters or easing themselves in.

Another buzz as they were considering raising their knife. They looked to one side, away from the monster before them. They couldn’t do this. They were a mess-up, a failure. They didn’t deserve anyone’s backing or support, because they’d only fail. They shuddered, _“I… I know I don’t deserve friends but… Would you like to be my friend? Maybe prove me wrong?”_

“What is wrong with you?” Chara backed away, shocked as their opponent stood, separating their long cloak, “You try to start a friendly conversation…” What was the problem, that didn’t feel too wrong, did it?

The figure continued, “…In the middle of a battle?” Ah. That made more sense. “You know what? No! I can’t… I won’t do this! If you refuse to fight back, then I guess I’ll have to MAKE you!”

The figure pulled back their weapon, bringing it into view. It was a small knife. It was pretty much a newer, better version of Chara’s weapon.

Then they cut straight across, narrowly missing Chara’s chest as they leapt back.

Chara felt a small smile creep across their face and tried to fight back the demons within, but it was hopeless, futile. They felt the darkness return inside them. This hadn’t happened since last time, but then again, they hadn’t had to fight anyone truly hostile this time until now.

If the figure – almost a human – wanted them to fight back, then that’s what they’d do.

They lunged forwards, swinging their legs back and bringing their blade down just to the right of their opponent, who dodged to the side like it was nothing. Then threw a grin their way, “That’s better!”

Chara tucked down into a roll, slipping beneath a slash aimed at their chest, leaping upwards as a magic projectile – a sawblade, rolled just beneath their heels. They turned to face their opponent, twisting about their waist to avoid a slash aimed at their face, scraping their heels in to bring themselves to a stop before slashing to the right. Another failed effort.

“I know who you are. The self-piteous freak who thinks nobody remembers who they hurt and what they did.” A smile spread over the attacker’s face, freakish and dark, “WELL I DO! And guess what? You’re not going to enjoy what comes next.”

A blade was jabbed forwards, for a singular moment Chara was glad they had a knife to parry. They thrust their opponent’s blade upwards, only to find that the blade was just for looks, and their enemy could summon infinite weapons to their hands.

They leapt back, blocking and ducking aside of slashes aimed at their torso. “And it’s not just anyone, is it? You insist on befriending every single person you killed like they don’t remember!” The monster’s blades slammed down, slicing through the air in a way that forced the first human to twist to avoid being cut, and even so, the blades drew a few drops of blood.

There was a pause, then the slashes resumed, “Why even bother? You’re just wasting your time, playing God with us! And when they find out, from somebody who remembers, somebody like me, all those monsters you befriended, it’ll break their hearts.”

Chara leapt aside, but not fast enough. They were beginning to tire and soon a deep gash was cut open on their left leg. They stumbled aside, then lunged forwards, _“You’re wrong. I haven’t killed everyone. After all, who are you anyway? I don’t remember ever seeing you.”_

The monster, who looked like little red riding hood would be depicted in fairy tales, so Chara nicknamed them ‘Red’, let out a sound of absolute rage, “That’s what I mean, don’t you GET it? You killed us all and you don’t remember half of us! What kind of a person are you anyway?”

The blades cut down, forcing Chara to quickly draw back, however, it was a double-handed strike, so left ‘Red’ wide open, Chara sighed internally, should they take it? No. They needed to let this inexperienced fighter tire themselves out before talking. Attacking would do them no good here, and if they got dust on their hands, it’d hurt Sans, and every single person they’d befriended. They couldn’t do that.

“Why don’t you just show them all your true nature and kill us again! Start with ME!” They yelled, driving their blade down as Chara twisted back, driving forwards beneath their strikes and slipping past the monster, who also was showing signs of fatigue. They smiled, _“Nah. You’re not bad enough to deserve it.”_ Of course, they weren’t even going to kill them all again, but they had to justify a little at least.

“ARGH! Why won’t you just fight back! I know you can! You killed me last time didn’t you?” ‘Red’ brought up a pair of magical sentinels ‘royal guardians’, Chara decided to label them, not that they had much time for that, between blocking knife blows and sidestepping lasers of both blue, forcing them to come to a halt, and orange, forcing them to charge through.

They ducked, throwing dirt from the ground into the way of a few red blast waves and lunging forwards through an orange laser, but froze abruptly as a shockwave of blue ripped through them.

“Normally, I wouldn’t use these unless my friends were dead, but for YOU, I’ll make an exception!” ‘Red’ yelled as Chara took them off guard, leaping forwards, and slipping a blade between Red’s duel wield.

Chara felt the knife plummet down between blades as a globe of magical energy skimmed the air above their head. The blade sliced down Red’s cloak, and, now behind Red’s arsenal, Chara lunged forwards. This battle was over.

Their blade fell gently down as they placed themselves gently against Red’s shoulder. They sighed, _“It’s up to you here. Hopefully I won’t receive a blade in the back, but I won’t object if you do… Not after what I’ve done.”_

Frankly, Chara wasn’t expecting to be breathing still by the end of their sentence. So it surprised them when the two swords, held high and strong above their head, began to shake before crumbling down and joining the pile of discarded blades, increasing its total from one to three. “I- I’m such an idiot. You were upset, weren’t you, that’s why you sounded so weird, and then- and then I hurt you and panicked and attacked you and—”

Chara smiled, _“No… you gave me a good fight when I was angry and tired, helped me get rid of the anger I was feeling. I… I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t ran into you, but someone else. Someone… weaker…”_

‘Red’ seemed reassured, “So… about that offer you made earlier…”  They began, the sighed and re-iterated,  “Would you… like to be my friend?” 

A question to which Chara laughed mirthlessly, _“You don’t want me as a friend, trust me. Everyone who’s been my friend has died as a result of me… Directly or otherwise…”_ A faint buzz rang out in their pocket, and they took out their phone and checked it. Twenty messages from Sans.

skelepuns:>uh, sorry ‘bout that char. i thought you’d find it funny.

skelepuns:>sorry. uh… are you alright?

skelepuns:>char?

With just those first three Chara knew that reading them would be a waste of time and a perfect reminder that Sans cared about them far, far too much for his own good. He should have disowned them. Then he’d be safe.

‘Red’ smiled, content, and offered their hand. “Well then, let’s make this the first friendship that doesn’t end in pain, huh?”

Chara laughed, less pained this time, _“So what brings you to Hotland? I know I’ve not seen you here before.”_ They leave the ‘I would have remembered killing you’ unsaid.

‘Red’ sighed, “Normally I’d be off on the other side of the core. I have this stupid, irrational fear of making and losing a human friend. I’m actually surprised you think YOU don’t deserve me, and not the other way round.” They looked down at the ground, watching as the two magic blades disappeared, leaving behind just the rusty normal one. “I came because I couldn’t just stand out there and watch everyone evacuate again, so I decided to face that stupid fear of mine and come here…” They smiled gently, humility in their eyes, “Well… you saw how that one went.”

Chara exhaled a loose, weak breath, _“You were right about me, you know. I have so much dust on my hands; I don’t even want to imagine more. But I know deep down that somehow, even though I’m trying to run away from my normal path, I’ll just end up right back where I started.”_

‘Red’ laughed, “That’s the same for everyone, you know? We all want to get away from something, and we all fail at some point.” Then they sighed sadly, “I messed that up, didn’t I?”

Chara held back a grin, _“Yeah, you kinda sorta did.”_ And now their grin broke through, uncontrollable in nature, so they decided to run with it, _“Royally.”_ They added.

‘Red’ gave a genuine laugh, “Yeah, I did!” Then let out their breath in a deep sigh, “So… do you have Undernet? If so, then… well, I wouldn’t mind having you as my friend. I don’t exactly have that many friends, after all. And… Oh my God! Have you heard of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2? It’s so awesome- The addition of fight scenes was ~so~ needed! You should totally watch it with me sometime!”

Chara could have sworn that ‘Red’ had stars in their eyes. While they were calming down, they reached into their pockets and took out a cinnamon bunny. They hadn’t been using it anyway, so they split it between them.

‘Red’ squealed, yes, literally squealed, “Oh My God! These are my FAVOURITE!” They gave Chara a playful shove, “Why didn’t you tell me you had one of these in there?”

Chara sighed, _“So, yeah, I have Undernet. My name on there’s pretty simple, it’s just…”_ They sighed, remembering the symbolism behind their name, painful symbolism. _“It’s just ‘Fallen’.”_

There was a bemused laugh from ‘Red’. “You’re kidding, right. Mine’s way simpler. I just named myself after a Fairy-tale character with a really cool sword, ‘Red’.” 

Chara gave Red a gentle smile as they both watched the flowers. The first Undernet message came through.

Red:>So, yeah, I know this is probably kinda stupid? But I thought maybe I could. Idk cheer you up?! So… hi, I guess!! Let’s be friends!

Chara selected the option to ‘friend’ Red’s account. Then smiled, Red was a good friend. They were kind and understanding, and helpful when needed. They would support Chara when they needed it, and that was good, after all.

_That’s what friends are for._


	35. Chapter 25: All good things...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now for the longest chapter in the entire work...  
> (oh, and you're over 2/3 of the way to the end)
> 
> If your looking for a piece of music for the fifth action scene, how about [this amazing cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2WQ58hQyH8) of metal crusher by [Gooseworx](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqvpFAiRcY96CjKwiGHgwpg)
> 
> I assume you can mentally complete a common phrase, right?

Chapter 25: All good things...

The dark room after a series of steam vents practically stank of robotic interference. So what came next was hardly much of a surprise.

“Welcome BEAUTIES and GENTLE-BEAUTIES to tonight’s show – Cooking with a Killer Robot!”

With a sharp click, though thankfully not one reminiscent of bone snapping, as that might have pushed Chara to the edge of their already strained conscience, the lights snapped on to illuminate the robot on stage, who was positively gleaming, hogging the limelight as all great stars are wont to.

“Today, we will be baking a cake. To start with, my POSITIVELY GLAMOUROUS assistant will be fetching the key ingredients. MILK, SUGAR, EGGS…”

Chara moved quickly, making sure to add in a quick cartwheel to keep ratings up, maybe ensure their survival to the next episode, rather than being ‘written off’ due to a plummet in ratings from their screen-time.

They took a carton of milk from the fridge and sugar from a cupboard in front of them, tossing both down in front of the robot – no need to show him any courtesy, after all – and sliding a carton of eggs over the counter to come to a gentle stop right in front of him.

The robot seemed impressed, perhaps even surprised, but he made certain to hide that fact. After all, it was only normal for him to feign ignorance at rising ratings. If he were to milk it, then they’d decrease for sure.

“…and most importantly” He pulled a chainsaw dramatically up from behind the counter – it was plastic, incapable of harm, but he made sure to aim it at the camera as he moved it towards his assistant, “A HUMAN SOUL!” He yelled for emphasis. The show wasn’t titled as it was for nothing.

There was a sudden ringing. Mettaton paused. Who could possibly have his personal number? Only one person could have that… Alphys.

“Alphys DARLING, I’m afraid I’m in the middle of something… I’ll have to call you back lat-” Wait a moment… the counter drawer was open and the bread knife was missing, and the sugar had vanished. “-er.”

Mettaton posed dramatically. “Oh my… what has happened here?”

He activated his scanners while posing and slowly but surely turned. One of them, infrared, couldn’t even miss them if they were hiding behind one of the counters or in one of the cupboards. But they weren’t in front of him… They were behind him, weren’t they?

He turned quickly, only for his sensors to receive a full coating of white powder.

The human, Chara, smiled, holding their blade to one side, _“Aw MTT, you’re so **sweet**!” _ They moved their free hand over their mouth, giggling. _Were they lying on the counter… extravagantly? On live TV? How scandalous!_ Then kicked out, toppling the milk carton, which spilled down the sides and ruined his chef’s outfit in an instant, _“But there’s no point crying over **spilt milk** , **sugar**.”_

The star positively steamed with frustration. Were they…flirting with him? He was meant to be scaring them right now! He’d trusted them to at least follow the script like that, but if they wouldn’t… He dropped the not-chainsaw and activated combat functionality. “Well then, if that’s how you’re going to be then FINE. I can’t exactly make an omelette” He slammed his hand down on the counter, sending the egg carton spinning towards the human, “without breaking a few **eggs.** ”

Chara lunged forwards, pulling themselves down beneath the carton to catch it delicately on a finger. They tossed the carton up out of the way of a blast of magic, causing the eggs to rain down as they took out a burnt pan and held it out.

They sliced two of the eggs in half with ‘eggspert’ technique, tossing their knife into the air and catching the handle in their mouth as they made finger guns with both hands. They let it drop back into their hand and then threw him a playful wink, _“Wow, rude. But oh well, **omelette** it slide.”_

Mettaton froze. Wow. Was this kid trying to out-glamour him? Oh It Was ON! “Impressive, but can you **handle the heat**?”

He blasted at them with fire magic, to which they responded by tossing the eggs into the air, blocking each flaming hot projectile with the pan in a different, erotic pose, and then catching the eggs in a final, impressive stance. Now he was furious.

Chara threw him a playful wink, _“Sure I can **sweetie** , I’m **hot stuff** , right?” _ Then they gave the pan a quick spin to mix the eggs together as they began to sizzle.

Mettaton charged up his weapon in full, “This final part will be a _blast_.” Then he opened fire with his other magic,  “I personally take your success with a **pinch of salt.** ”

Chara sighed, one last part and they’d have him on the ropes. But he was not going to make it easy for them, was he?

They leaned back into the pan, feeling the eggs closing in on full omelette texture. They’d have to be very quick indeed here, they decided, as they leapt back, twisting their legs over their head and using their knife to deflect a blast of raw magic.

It slammed into a pack of flour, resulting in a cloud of fine powder, to which they reacted by lunging forwards, flipping the omelette over in the air to avoid coating it’s presented side and holding their legs out before them to avoid the mini-Mettas that para-glided their way.

They threw him a playful wink as they opened the fridge and sliced off a lump of butter into the sizzling mesh, _“You got me there. I’d **butter** try harder next time, huh?”_

Posing as dramatically as the underground’s sexiest rectangle could possibly manage, Mettaton blasted the counter of his own kitchen with a good laser. “Not a chance human. You can’t out-glamour the best. You’ll be **peppered** with holes by the time you reach it.”

Chara gritted their teeth. This was going to hurt really, really badly if they messed up now. So they lunged in the one direction he couldn’t expect – towards him.

The robot was taken off guard, and they soon knocked him off balance with a clever toss of their knife that caused him to flinch uncontrollably recalling the last time around. _How come they were allowed to use that on him, and not he on them?_

They landed next to the sink, ducking as a blast slammed into them, sending the condiments flying anime-style, towards the unattractive diva.

They seized the salt and the pepper and gave them a quick shake, ducking into a roll as the sink behind them was blasted to smithereens, flipping the omelette up into the air in the direction of the plate on the counter.

Mettaton smiled. “Sorry to **sink** your dreams here…” He began, pleased that they’d gone _just_ where he’d expected them to go. He was going to win this battle. He refused to be defeated by a kid, after all.

The plate shattered when the blast hit it, and Mettaton smiled, “But you’ve got too much **on your plate** to compete with me.” He jeered, only to watch in horror as the cupboard above swung forwards on loose hinges, severed by a shard of ceramic, and a bread knife, and a single plate clattered forwards, landing unsteadily, but coming to an exact stop under the falling omelette.

Mettaton was genuinely taken aback. He’d been defeated… _how?_

Chara would have let out a sigh of relief, but decided to milk this small victory. _“Sorry Metta, but I guess you’re just not sexy enough.”_ They smiled and threw him a playful wink, even going as far as to loll their tongue. Was this too harsh? No way was this too harsh. _“ **Curves** are way more attractive.”_

Mettaton struggled, he was lost for words… Wait, he could salvage this? Could he salvage this? Beaten on live television by a KID! Incredible! He’d have to make his next challenges far more difficult, lest he risk defeat… “I… uh… Yes, uh… yes, ladies and gentle-beauties, I’m terribly sorry, but it is time for our regularly-scheduled break.” That was, in short, code for the camera crew to cut to an MTT infomercial. “But first… Let’s give a big hand to my...” If Mettaton had a tongue, he would have bit it. They’d beaten him at his own game, impressive. “…Positively wonderful assistant, and of course, your gracious host, yours truly.”

When the cameras had finally cut, Mettaton made sure to make his exit as quickly as possible, lest his embarrassment last any longer than it needed to. Besides, he had more important things to attend to than the brat in front of him.

Once the robot had left, Chara couldn’t help but smile, slipping off set quickly, they leaned softly against the elevator before them, feeling a buzz next to their leg immediately. They had a creeping feeling Undernet would be going wild.

Strongfish91:>Oh My GOD! Did you just hand MTT’s ASS To him? ON LIVE TV?! That’s so AWESOME!

Aaron01:>The NO1 will not be out-flexed, but… are you available? ;)

Red:>OMG! You, like, deserve a medal for that or something! lol

ALPHYS: >Wow, you showed him. <.<

Napstablook22:>heh…. I don’t actually know what you did….. sorry………

Surprisingly, there was no response from Sans. Chara had imagined that show would have been right up his alley. At least half the puns they made should have at least made him feel proud. They’d been hoping for a reaction at least.

Undyne and Napstablook’s reactions were definitely Chara’s favourites, they’d make sure to keep those for a rainy day.

Then their phone buzzed again. Sadly, it wasn’t Sans, but it was close enough.

METTATON:>This ISN’T OVER YET. There are still three more shows, so DON’T GET YOUR HOPES UP! In the meantime, feel free to buy some MTT brand hair gel to make yourself look truly glamourous at MTTStore.co.ug

He was positively fuming, that much was certain. And of course he’d use this as an opportunity to advertise. They shouldn’t have expected him to be anything but a sore loser, but still, it was kinda pathetic.

skelepuns:>wow. you’re like, so hot you could fry an egg or somethin’… oh wait, you did.

Chara couldn’t help but bite their lip a little. No pun? Such an underwhelming disappointment, they’d been told puns were coming. But still, praise of that intense variety really meant a lot, coming from him…

fallen:>I don’t know how to react to all you guys! All I did was make sure the show produced something edible, you know?

They let out a small chuckle at their own response, but seriously, they didn’t know how to react, and as their inbox flooded with more and more messages, their heart fluttered in their chest. Were they really that inspirational? Surely not. They’d failed everyone, they didn’t deserve all the attention they were getting here.

fallen:>I’m not kidding you know, if anyone deserves attention here it’s MTT. The big guy pretends he’s buried in show business, but he’s got a big heart. I couldn’t have got where I am without him.

They weren’t kidding there either. If Mettaton hadn’t been there, mad dummy would have torn them asunder, or perhaps worse, they might have even decided to take the logical course of action and off themselves so they could rest where they belonged; with garbage.

skelepuns:>char, stop doin’ that weird self-pity thing you do whenever someone congratulates you. he tried to use you for himself and you gave him a run for his money. you deserve all the thanks you get here.

Strongfish91:>I can’t BELIEVE I’m saying this but I AGREE with that asshole. Don’t put yourself down. You showed REAL GUTS there kid, and you make a MEAN OMELETTE too!

skelepuns:>sadly, last i checked, they were already taken.

Aaron01:>By who? ;)

Strongfish91:>ARGH STFU BONEHEAD!

Chara decided to close their phone there and then before things could devolve into heated arguments about their love life. That sort of thing they didn’t want to read, like, ever.

They shuddered and leaned back against the lift as they were about to take it up to the top level. They didn’t deserve this. They were getting better, due to good friends, but they didn’t deserve any of it. There was no way they were ever going to be able to make things right, not after what they’d done.

The sound of lift doors opening was what knocked their train of thought.

“So this idiot human walks onto MTT’s show,” Chara shuddered, hoping this wasn’t any more undeserved praise, “Who do they even think they are anyway? You can’t just walk on stage and trash the performance of the underground’s best!” Chara began to shrink back. They didn’t want a fight, “That’s just not fair!”

Then the speaker spotted them. He was a middle-aged monster with a strange diamond-shaped head. He looked almost robotic, and was brandishing a reasonably sized piece of metal the length of a baseball bat.

Chara shuddered again, _“Listen, I don’t want any trouble, just take some of my GOLD and go.”_ They tried, slowly backing away only to walk right into a suit, belonging to a similar monster, only this one had a wider, more square-shaped head.

The larger monster laughed, **“You hear that? The stuck-up piece of crap thinks they can bribe us off, Ha!”** He was brandishing a more curved weapon, a bit closer in nature to a crowbar. Both weapons were sharp.

They shoved Chara to the smaller one, who shoved them back uncontrollably. Their legs felt weak, like jelly as they were forced back and forth over and over.

The bat came down, hard into Chara’s shoulder, causing them to cry out in pain, “Who’s all amazing and hot now, huh?” then swung round into their face. They were bleeding and they could feel it thoroughly as every nerve fibre in their face screamed at them to fight back, but they couldn’t, no, they wouldn’t. If they did, then what had they worked up to?

The crowbar was next, this time in the chest, **“Bet they feel so smart, don’t they?”** A horrible laugh as the bat hit them in the leg and then the crowbar slammed into the bones of their arm with a sickening crack; it had been aimed at their head, hadn’t it?

Monster’s souls were made of love, hope, and compassion, but that didn’t mean monsters didn’t have disagreements. Some monsters held strong grudges against humans. These two, evidently, were some of that minority.

Now the bat, in the stomach, “Yeah, pathetic, just like I thought you’d be. All shrivelled up and crying your stupid eyes out.” The other one laughed, **“Call your mommy and daddy, they’ll help you here. Cause you can’t help yourself”** The larger one sneered, driving the crowbar down into the back of their legs, hard, as both made a move towards the elevator.

Chara coughed, feeling the rotten taste of blood in their mouth. They wretched as their stomach turned, the feeling of pain surging through their body as the elevator doors closed and the lift began to move up.

Their vision began to blur with tears as the gentle trickle of blood onto the warm floor began to spread out. They gasped for air but none came their way.

Chara reached into their pocket, fingers fumbling with their phone as they opened up their Undernet account. They coughed up a string of thick, bloody mucus over the screen, unable to control the pain in their chest as they felt the hot dogs from earlier rising in their stomach. They had to type quickly.

fallen:>Sans hlep mE1

The message didn’t look right, but their vision was blurred an their stomach was turning in their chest as bile rose up in their throat. They tried to pull themselves to their feet, but they just collapsed into a heap like the pathetic mess they were. Their fingers reached the ‘send’ button as the bile exploded from their throat, pooling out over the ground and mixing with the blood from the cuts and their nose.

Their vision faded into a deep grey as their phone display flickered, a grey figure looming over them as they lost their signal.

Tendrils of darkness began to climb the red path behind them as they desperately tried to drag themselves forwards, the grey figure smiling at their pain, mulling over the previous royal scientist – _W.D. Gaster_.

They hand struggled to grip as they forced their throat shut to hold back the next wave of bile. Their broken form dragging itself painfully slowly through the cracked dirt as the darkness closed in around them.

There was an innate laughter behind them as they struggled, a grey magical barrier closing off their only exit as the darkness cut deeper into them, shadows growing behind them.

They gasped for air, but none came.

Two hard hands gripped them from behind, pulling them backwards. This was it, wasn’t it? Gaster had caught them, and now they were going to die, all because of two idiots who held a grudge…

*          *          *

The labs were a pristine white as the panicking lizard blanched, their vision blurred as they were pressed up against a bathroom fixture, the blockade of their throat giving way in a horrid display of writhing pain.

“alphys quick! get me a towel or something!” Yelled a familiar voice, but it came through distorted, twisted, as if they were listening to it through a veil of water behind ringing in their ears.

“Th-they’ll be okay, r-right?” The lizard asked, fear underpinning every single element of her voice as the white was disrupted by another stream of bile.

“what did i just say alphys? i need a towel. **now**!” came the response as Chara felt their arms go floppy and weak from exertion, a cold sweat having formed on their skin. The pain just kept coming and coming and it hurt. It was about on par to when they’d eaten buttercups, and that had been horrific.

There was a frantic voice as the door flung open, “Oh my God! Please tell me they’re gonna be okay!!” It was followed by a soft, kindred hand gripping them, offering support where they really needed it; keeping them steady. “Ugh! I should have told you to be careful or something! I was so stupid!”

A towel was pressed against their chest and they felt something indescribable. They didn’t even dare to look down. “and who are you again?”

There was a response as Chara felt weak, the response was accompanied by a grunt from keeping them up. “Oh God! Get Gerson or something – he’s a healer. It doesn’t matter who I am. It matters that they live!!”

The figure behind them didn’t need telling twice.

“Please Chara, stay with me. I promise we’ll get whoever did this to you back or something, but please, just stay with me. I don’t know what I’d do if you died right now…” A realisation hit Chara and their breath hitched, _“R-red?”_ They managed, before collapsing forward. There was so much blood.

“Y-yeah, you can speak now, that’s a good sign, right?” Chara didn’t even need to look to know that Red’s face was panic-strewn. Red was terrified of making and losing a human friend, they’d learned that much through the powers of the Undernet. This must be a very real nightmare for her.

Chara knew their body was weak, but managed to speak still, _“Red, I- I’m going to be o-okay.”_ Their voice sounded so hoarse, so soft and weak that the statement of reassurance came out as a question of opposite effect.

“I- I don’t know Chara! I shouldn’t have let you go, then you’d be fine right now. I could’ve stopped you. This is all my fault!” Red was panicking, like a little kid. But, that’s what Red was – a lonely kid who’d never really had many friends, and certainly didn’t have much of a family, so to speak.

Chara let out a shaky breath, _“N-no Red, you c-came, and you’re h-helping me, that’s w-what matters.”_ They must have been hit harder than they thought, given they were covered in blood, some of which was drying as they spoke, and their stomach was still turning at the sight in their chest.

Wasn’t it pathetic? The demon that had killed everyone the last time around vomited at the sight of a little blood. Another reason it was probably either a good thing or a very bad thing that they didn’t have a body the last time around.

There was a sound – the door opening behind them, shortly followed by a rather familiar voice. “Young whippersnapper; wish I had tricks like that back in my day, wah ha ha!” And the worst nails on a chalkboard laugh that had graced the Earth.

Chara smiled slightly, but it was soon overcome by a heaving in their chest followed by an excursion from their mouth and a horrid burning feeling in their throat. What use was fighting this anymore anyway? They might as well give up.

A hand was placed against their shoulder, neatly prying Red’s steel grip away, “Younguns’ these days; Need to be more careful. Already patched you up before,” Gerson let out one last eardrum-bursting laugh and magic began to flow through the human’s flesh.

Maybe they weren’t fully recovered, but the worst was over, and now they were on the mend.

*          *          *

Red sat outside the labs, back pressed against the wall. She wanted to cry or something. Chara had been her friend and she hadn’t been able to protect them when they needed it most. It was pathetic. No, it was worse than pathetic. What use was a royal guard who couldn’t even protect her friends?

It’d been she who had found them in a pool of their own blood next to the elevator. They were blacking out as she’d picked up their phone and sent the cry for help that they’d typed out.

It was a kind of relief when the skeleton, Sans, as he was called, had shown up, but he’d been painfully slow. Rather than acting to save them, he’d asked for Red’s life story. The lab, where he said he was going… eventually, when he’d finally stopped asking who Red was. Was the second time he’d tried that.

Red sighed, holding the cracked, bloodied phone out in front of her, and scrolled down the Undernet feeds. If there was somewhere you could look for hints as to who was responsible for this sort of thing, it was usually Undernet. There would always be a bigmouth who blurted out the entire scheme somewhere.

Even so, it was sickening, holding the phone of your friend, who had been injured, most likely, because you weren’t with them when they needed you most.

MTTFan01:>You’re awful! Storming onto the stage of a prestigious star, who has worked for his entire life to build up his fanbase, and then taking advantage like you did. You deserve a good beating!

MTTFan02:>I’d be obliged to help show this piece of crap their place in the world.

It didn’t take long to find the two offending posts. Apparently Chara had been looking only at their friend’s posts, and not watching all of them, otherwise they might have seen these hate-posts coming from a mile back.

It was strange though. Normally monsters didn’t act on small things like that. Most disagreements were solved verbally.

Oh well. At least Chara was safe now, and the guilty party could be apprehended with a quick phone call.

Red put Chara’s phone down on the floor beside her, taking out her own and selecting the fourth number down, which belonged to Undyne. Then she held it carefully, delicately, like it was made of glass, to her ear. She was stressed out, and if this went to voicemail, she didn’t want to break it or something.

 **“Hey punk! Good thing you called, ‘cause I was about to give you a visit! Are you dyslexic or something? Station 05, not station 03!”** Red couldn’t help but chuckle a little. Yeah, that was definitely Undyne.

“There wasn’t anything going on down there anyways, so I thought I could help out up here.” Red decided to tell the truth on that one. It wasn’t a lie. She had gotten bored very, very quickly at station 05. Nobody was doing anything. It was like she’d been side-lined or something, so she moved back to 03 in hopes of finding something more interesting to do.

 **“Dammit Red! How many times do I have to tell you to follow orders? What if something had happened while you were gone? What if someone died because you weren’t there?”** Undyne was normally angry, but it felt a little disproportionate. Was she scared of something? It clicked in Red’s mind, Undyne had side-lined her for a reason.

“Undyne, I know you put me there so I wouldn’t run into a human. Uh… thanks, I guess? But I should face my fear like you told me to…” Red began, then decided to finish before Undyne could butt in – enough time had already been wasted here. “I already met them anyway. It’s wasn’t as bad as I thought, but then t-they got hurt by someone.” Red was unable to keep her voice level and felt her grip instinctively tighten. This was why she’d held the phone delicately.

 **“God Dammit Red! This is why I didn’t want you to meet them!”** Undyne boomed, but it was less positive and gratuitous than normal. Then she sighed, “Listen, I know you’re a good kid, I just don’t want you to get hurt unnecessarily.”

Red bit her lip. Was she really that fragile, that even the captain of the royal guard would pull weight to defend her from anything painful? Was she really that worthless? She sighed, “I know, but I’ve got a case up here now. It’s a little close to home, but, after what happened with my family, I can handle it.”

Red sighed, her family had been killed when she was younger, in one of the rare monster disputes that ever blossomed into violence. She’d learned the hard way how to investigate things and not let personal prejudices get in the way. But still, it was a little painful to remember how she got where she was and wonder if she’d take it back, just to see them alive again.

Undyne hadn’t spoken yet, but she sighed, “Fine. Just don’t hurt yourself okay? You’re a good kid, one of the best.” Undyne then recomposed herself, strong>“But if there’s one thing I agree with, it’s catching criminals, so get on it, punk!”

The phone line went dead as Undyne hung up, and Red sighed, letting out a slow breath. It was important to keep any fear she had inside right now. What mattered was that she stayed a good, efficient guard.

Readjusting her cowl, as she often did when she was anxious, Red sighed, it was time to start, but with first her family, and now this, Red couldn’t help but wonder if the world was always out to get her. She probably should have seen this coming, knowing that.


	36. Chapter 26: Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ouch. A whole load of stuff happened last chapter, didn't it? ;)
> 
> Thank you for reading this far in.  
> I hope you enjoy the next few chapters, in which things may just get tragic... =D

Chapter 26: Reconciliation

It had been a few hours since Chara had regained consciousness, their head still felt like it had a knife in it, and every joint in their body felt like it had been held in a vat of acid, but it was better than being dead. They’d already felt that. When you died, you felt so empty, so cold, alone, afraid.

It was better to be in pain but alive than to be dead.

“So, Chara, how many friends have you had before?” Red was observant, if sometimes a little blunt. She was also enjoying a beer that was a rich gold in colour, so that had probably loosened any respect of tenderness or censorship. She looked a little young to be drinking, but she also looked a little young to be holding a sword, or to be a member of the royal guard. Red probably was too young, but in honesty, having experienced her fighting style first-hand, it felt likely that many monsters were just too intimidated to turn her down.

Chara decided best to deflect a personal question like that. _“Enough. Aren’t you a little young to be drinking?”_ They pressed. It had been on their mind, after all, and offered a little purchase against Red’s otherwise solid composure.

They weren’t expecting a smile, “Yeah, I guess I probably am. But I like to imagine I can hold liquor.” Red complemented the sentence by taking a deep, strong sip of the liquid, keeping herself straight up as she finished and slid it gently back down. “But please, can you, uh… not bring that up again? I’ve already been told that like, 500 times!”

Chara couldn’t help but laugh, even if they tried to stifle it before it became anything else, result in a messy guffaw. _“You’re also a little young to hold a sword or be in the guard, so it’s not like doing things way before time is new.”_

Red sighed, “About that… I’m sorry if I hurt you earlier. I panic sometimes, over really small, stupid things.” She took the drink up again, finishing it with a quick gulp, then put it down, letting out a small, mirthless laugh, “I used to have this odd fear of making and losing a human friend, you know? So last night, it was like a nightmare come true.”

It was definitely not a lie, and that knowledge made Chara’s stomach twist a little. It was horrible, knowing that you’d killed them all the last time, and even remembering what they’d said to you as they’d died. Their entire hopes and passions summed up into a final series of fateful actions.

Killing monsters was easy. The more you wanted them dead, the quicker they would die. But fixing it afterwards? No. No matter how much you wanted to bring them back, they would still be dead afterwards. Murder is not a sin for which reconciliation is offered.

Chara let out a small, nervous laugh, _“That’ll change. I genuinely have a near-death experience every day.”_ They weren’t kidding, but they weren’t going to say they didn’t deserve it either, after what they’d done; they wanted that kind of punishment, but for what? It wouldn’t fix things. It’d just ease their conscience. Maybe it was a good thing nobody had given them it yet.

Red turned, holding herself cross-legged; the edge of her blade was now glinting in the sideways light of Grillbys. “That doesn’t make me feel any better, knowing that if I’d just been there a little sooner, I could have stopped what happened to you.”

She looked genuinely crestfallen. It was strange, especially as Red seemed to have this optimistic aura around her. In a way, she almost juxtaposed the rest of the royal guard. Chara found that yet again, something clicked and a realisation hit. _“It’s not just about me, is it? Who did you lose?”_

There was a genuine, full shudder from Red, and she didn’t respond for a good few seconds. If she had, her voice would have come out shaky and weak. When she did, it sounded steady, too steady, overcompensating for emotion by showing nothing. “I could tell you, but then I’d regret it, wouldn’t I?” It was like Sans’ voice when he watched the ‘human’ shamble forth, knowing that they’d kill his brother, and knowing that he was powerless to stop it.

It was the voice of defeat, and then it was gone.

“Sorry, I… I don’t know what I was thinking, I just… I don’t like to talk about them. It always hurt me to remember it, so I locked it up inside, or at least, I thought I did, anyway…” Her voice was now laced with a regret, the kind that would make your voice break if it built up, but for now would just hide in your throat and choke you from the inside out.

Chara knew what part of the sentence Red had left missing, so decided to finish it. _“And then last night, I was hurt in the same way, and all that pain you thought you’d blocked came crashing back in at once. Sorry.”_ They shuddered.

Red laughed, but the pain in her voice was evident. “Sorry for what? I’m the one who should be apologizing, for being a weirdo who swings her sword first and asks questions later.” She clasped her hand around the neck of the bottle of beer and topped her glass back up, nearly emptying the bottle entirely.

That allowed for Chara to give a guttural laugh, _“That’s better than screwing everything up by killing yourself, then killing everybody else in your afterlife.”_ They sighed as Red took a sip, _“So it’s not like you’re worse off than me, is it?”_

The silence that hung between them was sliced open when Red spoke again. A feeble cut, just barely strong enough for the job, even if her words were sharper than a knife, “It’s hard to tell, you know. At least you had a good reason… Or I think you did. It’s better than just having a stupid flaw in your personality that makes you prone to hurting people.”

Chara sighed deeply, _“And you don’t think I have that?”_ Watching Red’s face tighten just a little, was it hatred? Well, it wouldn’t be wrong for her to hold a grudge; after all, they’d killed everyone she loved, everyone who loved her, the last time around. They deserved all the anger she could muster.

Red now took a much larger gulp, taking out a third of the glass. “It’s nice, being your friend Chara. I don’t think I’ve had a good friendship in a long time.” She sighed, placing a palm to her temple, “I mean, the royal guard, they all try so hard, but I don’t feel like I fit in there. I never did, but I don’t want to let them down either, so I keep trying, hoping that one day, maybe I will. It’s not like that with you. I feel like I already know you, and we’ve only known each other for a day.”

That left Chara with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Warmed at heart, they decided to reply, _“Yeah. It’s just. I wonder how many times we’ve been friends, probably a lot. And probably a good few of those, I ended up killing you. You’d probably feel betrayed if you remembered them all.”_ They shuddered. It couldn’t be redeemed. She shouldn’t even feel like they’re her friend, because if she remembered, she’d hate them with every fibre of her being.

Red laughed, actually amused, and took another deep swig, half-emptying her glass. “Sure, but it never happened. I’m still here, aren’t I? You can’t beat yourself up over sins you, as far as is known, were never committed, right?”

Chara gave a weak smile, _“Yeah, but I still did kill everyone, and I can’t exactly redeem myself for murdering everyone in my path, can I?”_ They sighed, _“Not unless I raised the dead or something, and even then, I doubt they’d exactly be willing to forgive me.”_

Red sighed, “What is it with this place and existential consideration, huh? I mean, I normally go to this hill, the place is weird though, and I end up trying to figure out how it works, so I leave a confused mess…” They gave a quick smile and finished their drink, “I should take you there sometime after all this. Have a picnic or something. Getting the stuff there shouldn’t be a problem with _your_ pockets, if you know what I mean.”

Chara’s brow furrowed, they didn’t exactly understand what Red was getting at.

Red smiled, “Guess not then? Shame, it would have been a nice quiet place too! But I guess you can’t win ‘em all, huh?” She gave Chara a gentle pat on the back, “Besides, I have work to do, you know, making sure you stay safe. Or at least, trying to, anyway…”

Chara gave a gentle laugh, _“So I’ll see you around?”_ It was a shame, a picnic with Red sounded like genuine entertainment, mostly due to her personality. It was nothing extravagant or over the top, instead, it was more like Sans, or perhaps even Asriel. She was a bit more real and down-to-earth than Papyrus, Undyne or Mettaton. Perhaps that’s why Chara had taken a liking to her.

Red sighed, “Yeah, I guess you will.” She sounded a little disgruntled, perhaps sad, but who wouldn’t be, having just thought over the pain of her past, it wasn’t exactly a surprise was it?

Still, she left with a gait so straight, it proved that she’d been right. She definitely _could_ hold her liquor.

Chara sighed, making a move towards the exit when a warm hand clasped on their shoulder, “Who is your friend?” It asked.

It was a surprise that Grillby didn’t know her; after all, she was a member of the royal guard, but still. Perhaps she didn’t visit Snowdin all that much. He probably didn’t exactly know RG_01 or RG_02.

Still, Chara decided to oblige his curiosity. _“Her name’s Red.”_ Not one for giving their entire life story in one sitting, they decided to leave it at that.

“I thought I’d recognised her, but I wasn’t particularly sure…” Grillby mused as the door closed. It was strange; he’d have thought he’d remember the name, or at least the order of a member of the royal guard.

He sighed, he’d probably just forgotten about her or something. It happens. Taking a glass in his hand, he went back to his usual business of drying it, though perhaps a little harder than usual.

*          *          *

Hotland was hot. That wasn’t exactly a surprise. What came as more of a surprise was the mundane, straight nature of the walkways; it was like the architects of the underground had given up on building anything remotely interesting, though at least they offered a nice view.

As a result of this development (or lack thereof), Chara was able to use the time to sit down and think, despite the searing heat. It was a good thing to think things over.

“Well Howdy!” It was a little surprising that Flowey would show up in Hotland, of all places. He’d probably wilt, were he a normal flower.

Chara struggled. They were lost for words. They’d hurt him so badly, turned their best friend, practically their brother, into a flower for nothing. _“I… Asriel, I…”_ They stammered.

Flowey’s face contorted with rage into a terrifying maw, an imitation of their old creepy face. **_“DON’T CALL ME THAT! ASRIEL IS DEAD, AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT…”_** He transitioned to a bemused smile and tilted his head to one side, as if inquisitive. “What a shame.”

Chara just chuckled, _“Still trying to idealise what I did, huh? What if there was no great worldly message and you were living like this on a falsehood, a lie…?”_ They ran a hand down his petals, catching him before he could recoil, _“You’re not him, but you have his memories, and I miss him, I really do. So…”_

Confusion now mapped the flower’s features as Chara, unable to keep their voice strong or level, shuddered as tears forced their way out. _“I criticised him for crying, and now I do the same. If you were him, you’d try to comfort me, but… I wouldn’t deserve it. I didn’t do the same when he cried.”_ Their voice broke, _“I should have, then maybe he’d have stopped me…”_ They kept their gaze down to hide the tears, but with little success. _“If I’d just been a better friend…”_

The flower, conflicted, backed up on his roots. “Chara? Is that really you?” His stem was shaking, something that made him mentally curse. He shouldn’t be scared, but he hadn’t seen him in so long, and if they were anything like him, then they’d have taken ‘kill or be killed’ to heart too.

Creatures like them wouldn’t hesitate to kill each other if they got in each other’s way.

So it was a surprise to him when they pressed a hand gently against his leaves, as if petting them. He couldn’t even feel it either. He could only see it and, just for a moment, wish that he had actual feeling in his body. They didn’t understand him at all, did they?

Chara smiled, weakly, pained, _“You’re terrified of me, huh? I don’t even remember half of what I said to you- him - when we shared a body. But I’m gonna guess you took it all to heart. Which sucks, given I meant exactly none of it.”_

 ** _“GEEZE, COULDN’T HAVE GUESSED THAT FIVE MINUTES AGO.”_** Flowey’s expression was one of absolute infuriation, “Uh… sorry, I just…” Wait, was he apologizing? He never apologized to anyone.

Chara laughed mirthlessly, _“He’s in there somewhere, huh? But I broke him, didn’t I… No surprises there. I always did break things. Be it myself, or someone else.”_ They sighed, _“You’ve been through hell and back. It hardly surprises me you became what you did… a soulless killer.”_ They smiled, but it was barely a half-grin, and it was weak, saddened in nature, _“I never wanted you to be like me, but you must’ve done that all on your own.”_

Flowey found he was silent. All this time, all these years to think about who they were, and he still couldn’t figure out what his best friend wanted; useless!

Chara leaned back, pressing themself up against a steel pillar, _“It’s funny. All the sacrifices I made, no, we made, and yet it was all for nothing, and the only thing I have to remember it by is a darn flower. An echo of the brother I lost…”_

Flowey tried to respond, but he didn’t have the words he needed. What was this feeling? Why hadn’t he ever felt it before? **_“CHARA! STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THIS!”_** The possibility of having to feel anything again, after what he had done… It terrified him.

Chara just laughed, _“I’m not making you feel anything Az. That’s all you.”_ Then they sighed. _“We always did learn from each other in a way. If I was down, so were you. When you were sad, I was… How that carries past our deaths, I don’t know, but I guess it does, huh?”_

Asriel felt like he wanted to cry, but as a flower, he lacked tears, “Please Chara, I don’t want to feel like this again.”

The expression on his face, it was so miserable, so helpless, so pathetic, but then again, he was talking to the master of being a pathetic loser, wasn’t he? Chara let out a shallow breath, _“I guess that’s why you didn’t do it earlier then? Even after all this time, and you still can’t bring yourself to kill a human.”_

Flowey looked, embarrassed, flustered, _“I’ll kill you easy! Stop pretending like I’m him!”_ He tried as Chara just laughed and ran their fingers gently through his coarse, yellow petals. **_“I SAID STOP IT!”_**

Chara froze, feeling a trembling in their fingers. They did this to him. They made him shy to the touch, fearful, sad… They laughed, pained, but held back the tears, big kids don’t cry, after all, _“I always thought yellow and green suited you, but this isn’t exactly what I meant.”_

Asriel found himself laughing in much the same way. _“Yeah right, whatever floats your boat Char.”_ He told them, sceptical. Flowey scowled, had he just teased them back? Called them like Asriel did? Why was he feeling so nervous all of a sudden?

Chara sighed, _“You know you can feel things without a soul, right? I’m doing it right now, and by the sound of things, you are too.”_ It was true, but Flowey didn’t want it to be in a million years. He didn’t want to have to repent.

Chara sighed, as the flower retreated back into the ground. He was still the same old Asriel, and as usual, they’d hurt him. They always did. That was who they were. They didn’t fix things. They only made it all worse. They had thought they could help monsters, but they’d only crushed all the hope in the underground.

That’s why they’d gone to sleep. They’d cried themself dry first, but then they’d given up. Perhaps it would be better if everyone just forgot about them, they’d decided.

And then they’d been woke up, and had to feel the pain of the regret all over again.

They’d heard the old tale that the more you kill, the easier it is to distance yourself, so they’d hoped to drown their sorrows, to the point where the regret faded, but it had only grown. That was the catch. They say LV distances you, but how it does it is drowns your soul in so much pain that you can no longer focus on any one sin. It makes feeling anything a living hell.

And no matter what you do, it never goes away. So long as you remember what you did, you still carry the LV from it.

And by the time they’d realised that horrid truth, it was too late to turn back.


	37. Intermission 9: Tend to these flowers...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I imagine you've figured out a central piece of this part from the title "flowers for your grave".  
> (Yeah, the end of 'chapter 36' won't be the last time we see flowey)
> 
> But it's not just about him. There are plenty of other implications to that title.
> 
> Keep reading and you might just find out what they are... ;)

Intermission 9: Tend to these flowers...

Chara couldn’t help but feel at ease as they held the knife, gently using it to manoeuvre the tender necks of the plants, the small garden to which they had become very well acquainted indeed.

Power and control had to go hand in hand. If you had power but no control, you could end up destroying the very thing you were trying to save, so it was important to practice, to make sure that you had control, to make sure that you wouldn’t kill the flowers when you moved them.

Chara had used to garden while they were still alive, in fact, that’s what they’d got the knife for, gardening. Because what parent in their right mind would get their kid a knife, were it not intended for a purpose outside of tending to gardens or cuisine.

Granted, the notion still made Toriel a little uncomfortable, hence, she’d filed down all of the tools, and even the knife, so concerned was she for her child’s safety.

There was a voice, a wavering presence for whom Chara had asked, however, he was not sure quite how to approach them.

“Ah. It is a beautiful day, is it not? Perfect weather for some gardening.”

Chara sighed, _“Yeah, wherever this is, gardening certainly wouldn’t prove difficult. Though, saying **where** this is exactly, would.” _ They smiled a little, but it soon fell into a grimace, _“I’m sorry, for what I made you do.”_

Asgore laughed a booming, throaty laugh; he had this incredible, warm smile on his face. He really did take optimism a little too far.

“Did you _make_ me do anything? I made poor decisions, but it is not your fault that _I_ chose badly.”

Chara shuddered, he was always so nice and lovely and they’d never be able to repay him well enough for what he gave them. _“Yeah, I ruined everything, for a start.”_ They sighed sadly, looking down at the flowers, making certain not to cut any, _“If it weren’t for my stupidity, you wouldn’t have had to make the terrible decisions you made.”_

Asgore sighed, his face falling. That was a rarity for him.

“While that may be true, I would say also that you most certainly more than made up for it. Without you, Gaster would have taken control of the timeline. None of us would be here if he had succeeded.”

Chara struggled. They had hurt everyone so badly, even him. Otherwise his face wouldn’t have fallen. They were still hurting him, even now, even when they tried to save him, save everyone in the only way they knew how, they ended up hurting them. It was really genuinely pathetic.

“Though you may not be perfect, none of us are. It matters not though, sweet child, for you will always be my Angel.”

Chara shuddered again. He should hate them for what they did. They took his son away from him. _“I hurt you, even when I try to help; I just end up destroying the thing I’m trying to save.”_ They drove their blade down into the ground. So much for helping the flowers, _“I can’t even… I took your son away from you and you’re willing to forgive me, just like that?”_ They shuddered, guilt catching in their throat, _“I don’t deserve your sympathy; so don’t bother giving me it.”_

Asgore was taken aback. The rejection of his sympathy struck a note. But soon, he laughed again with his booming, throaty laugh.

“My child, do you realise how much you sound like your mother?”

Chara laughed heartily, _“Greetings, it appears you have missed the memo.”_ They joked, making their voice sound like a mirror image of Toriel’s voice.

Asgore’s usually optimistic façade fell as he began to shudder, choking back grief, and Chara’s tumbled down soon after. They shuddered with a combination of sadness, grief, and anger, _“See what I mean? I try to help, to make things better, and I just end up hurting you. It’s pathetic, isn’t it?”_

Asgore looked like he was about to retort, but Chara sighed, looking down at the ruined flowers, _“No. Don’t reply to that. Please, I just… I need some time alone. I thought seeing you would make me feel better, but it’s only made me remember how pathetic I am.”_

They shuddered, remembering something Asriel said to them long ago. _“Besides, somebody has to tend to these flowers, right?”_ They moved their gaze, and by the time they turned back, the king was long gone.


	38. Chapter 27: The brightest star in the sky...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is probably the closest thing to smut you'll get from me.
> 
> Yet again, if anyone disagrees with ratings or content warnings, inform me in a comment, and I'll decide whether or not to change it.

Chapter 27: The brightest star in the sky...

Chara had already purchased a spider donut, and moved past Muffet, who seemed a little surprised at the sudden large donation to her cause. It really was the least they could do for her, even if the pastry lacked flavour, it felt good enough.

They packed it away as they walked out in front of MTT Resort. They found Sans waiting for them, he had this huge grin on his face, like there was something to be especially pleased about.

“heya.” His cheeks seemed to be tinged a faint blue, which was most likely an aftermath of the last time they’d met… well, the time before the last, given the last time was when Chara had been bleeding, profusely.

Chara smiled, running the back of their hand gently down his cranium, feeling his breathing quicken ever so slightly as they pressed their chest up against his ribs. _“Hey big guy, you miss me?”_

The skeleton’s cheeks turned a deep blue and he chuckled a little, “uh, yeah, i guess i did. i **chara** lot about you, y’know?” His grin felt ever so slightly forced as their hands ran gently over his ribs individually.

They gave a gentle smile, pressing themselves up against wherever his ears would have been, _“Huh? I guess I’ve been de **sans** itized… I didn’t even **Chara** that you were missing.” _ They crossed their legs with the feeling of butterflies in their stomach and kept their eyes locked into his all-seeing, sweet, understanding sockets.

Sans chuckled, “if a kid sees us in a moment, i might need to get some **sans** itizer.” He felt his gaze drifting into their beautiful eyes, a soft ruby in colour, burning bright with optimism and understanding, but muffled by the pain of a thousand lifetimes.

Pressing their lips up against his mouth, feeling the magic that replaced his tongue running up against theirs, Chara laughed, feeling the appendages begin in a well-versed dance. They pressed his back against the wall of the resort, running their tongue around his, taunting it with the possibility of an embrace, only to pull back, slip away, forcing him to play to catch it. They spoke through the wet sounds of the embrace, _“I guess we could go on a date, huh?”_

Sans chuckled, running his phalanges across their forehead, pushing their hair aside to offer a better view into their eyes, “guess we could… but i like it here.” He moved his hand gently down their side until it stopped just above their hips, wrapping his phalanges beneath their top and running the cold bones against their side, extracting a passionate gasp and a harder shove against the wall.

Chara breathed out, their breathing now staggered with pure exhilaration, _“Sans please!”_ They gasped as he ran his phalanges up their chest, their heart racing a little quicker, “ _I-”_ They squealed as he let them fall back, only to catch them in his arms, leaning down to them. _“I want to date you **first** , Sans.”_

The skeleton pushed a little of his magic against their soul, eliciting a small gasp, “sure thing char. but first, how’sabout we have some fun?”

Chara felt his tongue running soft and wet, and gentle against their cheek as his hands caressed them, sending magic, pleasure, through their very being both figuratively and literally. _“I’d love to-”_ They shuddered as he ran his phalanges down again, this time around their hips, eliciting a low moan, _“But I want to date you first. To make you **officially** mine.” _ They tried, finding their ‘A’s lengthened by pleasure.

The soft pressure against their hips, slowly but carefully relieved until he was merely stood there, staring into their eyes, “fine, but i’m gonna **bone** ya twice as hard later to make up for this.”

Chara blew some air into his face, _“Yeah right.”_ They teased, sceptical as he led them, hand in hand, around the back, through a ‘shortcut’ into the resort.

*          *          *

Red exhaled a long breath. She was busily readjusting her cowl again. It was confusing. Should she trust Chara or fear them? They had killed everyone, including her, and even if she was willing to move past it, maybe it’d be better if they were dead and gone and there was no danger to anyone.

She’d made reasonable progress, but hit a strange stump. The two fans that were responsible for hurting Chara hadn’t been heard from in days. Perhaps they’d come to their senses and tried to go underground.

No. That didn’t even sound right, after all, these were disgruntled fans, not black ops personnel or something. She sighed, letting out a slow breath. She had arrived.

Removing her blade from its sheath, Red turned it towards the door and rammed the handle into the glass, watching it shatter quickly. Her heart was racing. Was this what robbers felt like when breaking and entering? Normally somebody would answer the knocks of a royal guard, but as far as Red could be concerned, the _fans_ didn’t deserve any knocks at all.

She slipped her hand slowly, carefully through the sharp edges, wrapping her fingers about the handle and opening the door from the inside, she couldn’t help but smile as it flung open, as if welcoming her.

The corridor of the house was poorly lit, with the only light just about seeping in from outside. Red made sure to hold her blade out in front of her as she moved, though forced to make a conscious effort to control her breathing.

In. Out. She moved forwards, ramming a door open with the heel of her boots, which offered a heavy blow, opening the door to a bedroom, empty. It looked like it hadn’t been touched for weeks, if the food on the table was anything to go by.

In. Out. In. Out. The next door opened on its own. There were voices talking down the hallway. Red pulled herself back, breathing a little quicker now as she moved down the corridor.

The voices were engaged in a muffled conversation. Red attuned herself to listen in.

“Heh, looks like the plan worked. Show’s cancelled. Boss’ll be happy to see the Core vacant.” The voice sounded rough, but not low in pitch, instead it had more of a level tone. Red decided it was probably a mid-sized male.

 **“You bet they will! And hey, if it means ol’ G won’t be callin’ the shots anymore, then I’m in.”** This voice was darker, lower, and stronger. It felt like a larger, stronger male, possibly the muscle of the group.

Red shuddered, but controlled it. Evidently she wasn’t wrong when she held the hunch that it was bigger than two fans getting a little over-excited…

There was a soul-sickeningly loud creak from one of the floorboards. Apparently luck was not going to be on Red’s side today. If that was the case, speed was probably of much more importance.

“Whadd’ya think that was? Should we check it out?” The first voice asked, something to which Red responded with a slight quickening of pulse and a deliberate angling of her blade towards the nearest door.

 **“Sure thing boss, I’ll take you out back.”** Wait, their boss was here? Red’s grip around her blade tightened. Now it was imperative that she be on top of her game, it was strange though, she hadn’t heard them speak. Perhaps it was just because of the walls.

Red moved forwards quickly, having lost the element of surprise, it was important to get there before they left. She looked at the door. It was large and well-shaped. In. Out. In… out…

The door fell in in what could only be described as a waste of money. Red looked around the dark room. The food in here looked new, recent. There was no mould in the dishes, so evidently this room was in use.

The shadows behind her shifted, and that was enough to make her leap forwards. She felt the hairs on her neck bristle as a blade sliced the air behind her.

“Now, now, I wouldn’t want to harm a pretty little face like yours, so put your blade down and we can have a nice little chat, huh?” The thug seemed quite confident of his abilities, or perhaps he didn’t think Red was in the royal guard. She wasn’t wearing her uniform, after all, in Hotland, she was technically off-duty.

Red sighed. There was one thug behind her, and the other, if the creak of one of the steps was to be trusted, was making a move up the stairs onto the second floor. She calmed herself again. She couldn’t afford to panic here.

“Careful now, wouldn’t want you getting any ideas, would we?” The blade was against her neck. It felt rough, leading Red to conclude it wasn’t a genuine blade, just a sharpened piece of metal. It also felt a little wet. Evidently he was nothing more than a thug, not in the practice of cleaning his blade.

Red bent down, keeping her blade before her. The floorboards of this house were weak, so she began by running her foot across them, looking for a weak spot. Seemed there was one, not quite between his legs. It’d have to do.

Red began to turn, exhaling, keeping the shakiness out of her voice. The weapon had nearly fatally wounded a human, so it wouldn’t take much to kill her with it. “So, anyone want to explain what’s going on here?” She tried. Some thugs often got rather cocky with their explanations.

“Yet again, no heroes today, just be a good little girl and let me-” His foot grazed the floorboard, passed over it, and Red stamped down with all her might, sending it up into the area between his legs.

It didn’t seem to injure him, after all, not all monsters had their genitalia in the same places, in fact; some didn’t even have genitalia. But his blade was out movement for just long enough for Red to turn and deflect it away from her jugular.

“Huh, I didn’t see you for a fighter. It’ll make killing you more interesting though, so it aint like I’m complainin’.” The thug brandished his weapon, then swung it quickly at Red’s jugular.

Red angled her blade to the side, reacting on instinct more than knowledge or strategy, deflecting his weapon upwards. She landed a knee into his stomach, parrying a strike aimed at her left hip and ramming an elbow into the thug’s face. It was guarded by a metal plate, so left her elbow aching a little, but it was justice nevertheless.

Red sighed, “What on Earth are you made of?” She inquired, regaining her breath for a moment before sidestepping a strike aimed for her stomach, “Seriously, you’d be dead five times over if you were flesh and bone.”

The thug seemed to smile, but his face didn’t exactly express very much anymore, “Why d’ya think the Boss hired me?”

Red drove her sword forwards, only the thug was expecting it, and he dodged before wrapping his arm around her neck before twisting the weapon in towards her. “I’ve got ya now you little brat!” He yelled as she felt the blade on her exposed neck.

Now was the time to panic, Red decided, and flung herself backwards wildly, slamming her opponent into the wall behind them, resulting in a snapping sound as it buckled. The weapon clattered to the ground as she rammed an elbow into his face again to little success.

His hold on her throat tightened suddenly, cutting off her air supply.

Red gasped for a good few moments to no success, feeling the sword in her arms being pried from her hand. She considered the possibility she would be defeated. Her body would likely never be found. Maybe they’d stash her beneath the floorboards or something…

_Wait… The floorboards!_

She slammed her foot down on the loose one, sending it up and over as her captor drew a sword across her neck.

The floorboard landed in her hands, clashing against the sword and sending it clattering to the side. She swung it backwards into the face of her captor, causing his hold on her to relinquish a little, and gasped.

“Little brat! I’m not gonna make it nice and quick now!” Red sidestepped a slash, feeling it cut down, and blocked one aimed at her stomach with the plank before hurling the board away with a clatter to see it land, bottom-up.

She didn’t waste any time lunging forward, despite the aching she could feel across her chest from a punch delivered by him on the way, she rammed a fist into his head as hard as she could.

Red cursed. The attack had done more damage to her fists than his head. Feeling a blade at her neck, she leaned back, watching it draw blood. But used his overbalance after the lunge to pin the weapon into a wall and throw him over his own weight.

The thug laughed, spreading his arms, “Is that all you got?” He was taunting her, but it was short-lived as he moved to get a better stance, only to lose his balance in the gap left by the floorboard. He seemed to fall in slow motion.

His head met the nail on the board with a sickening crack.

*          *          *

The MTT Resort had a lovely, gentle theme in the background. Sans sat opposite Chara as food was set on the table. One meal, a particularly large pasta dish, was served to Sans, while Chara took a burger and fries along with a small salad that they would dutifully forget.

“humour me char, i’m curious. let’s say we do this, we all get to the surface, you get your ‘happy ending’. what’ll you do then?” Sans grin felt a little forced as he tucked in to the pasta, twirling it on his fork and then taking it into his mouth.

Chara took a few fries, examining them almost thoughtfully, _“Live with you, prolly, I don’t know, really. Why d’you ask?”_ They ate all of them in a small mouthful, while they waited for Sans to respond.

“listen, i don’t mind this an all, it’s just, i don’t think i can cope with another reset, y’know, so if i find myself back here again, have to watch paps die again, i dunno what i’ll do. prolly nothin’ good, if ya know what i mean?”

Chara laughed a little, staring into his sockets. He was deadly serious, but they liked that about him. _“Listen, Sans. When you saw me in waterfall, I was in a… bad place. If you hadn’t helped, I think I might’ve gone back to old habits, if you know what I mean.”_ They chuckled, _“If it weren’t for you guys, my friends, I don’t know who I’d be.”_

Sans chuckled, a low, grisly laugh, “ah hell, i’ve ruined our first date, haven’t i? we shouldn’t be talkin’ bout such heavy stuff, not on a date, anyway.” He took another forkful of pasta.

He was greeted with a sigh, _“’s not your fault I have **way** too much emotional baggage, you know.” _ They laughed a little, _“But if you want to talk about something else, why not?”_

Sans sighed, “fair enough. how ‘bout we talk about… stars. y’know. my bro an’ i used to wish ‘pon the ones in waterfall. they weren’t real, but it didn’t make the wishes less genuine, less true. i miss him, i really do. there hasn’t been a day i haven’t wanted him back.”

Chara scoffed, _“Man, we try to talk about something without causing ourselves emotional pain, and look how that goes. If you’re wondering my star sign though, I’m a cancer.”_

Sans paused, “a what?” He queried. The expression on his face showed such genuine confusion. Chara wanted to pull him close there and then, in fact. They decided it wouldn’t be a poor use of their time.

They threw him a smile, _“Okay, now that we’ve ‘gone out’ together, how about we ‘have fun’?”_ Seeing his furrowed brow, they laughed a small, but true laugh, and then they clarified. _“Wanna get a room or something?”_

Sans gave them a quizzical look, then a shit-eating grin, “sorry, i can’t **make out** what you’re sayin’.” And then he just left them there to turn tomato-red in the middle of the MTT Resort diner as he got them both a room.

As he watched them blush a shade of red so full he didn’t even know it existed, Sans chuckled. What did he do to deserve the affection of such a cute, amazing, soft-natured human?

*          *          *

Chara pressed their bare chest up against Sans’ ribs. He was breathing slowly, relaxed. They hadn’t started yet, as Chara had figured it best to talk a little first, then exhaust themselves ‘having fun’ later.

Sans seemed rather eager to get the latter part, but Chara had long-since decided they wanted to tease him a bit first. “so, what’s this ‘star sign’ business?”

Chara smiled gently, _“Just something they decide based on when you are born.”_ They took his hand and ran a finger gently down one of his central ribs, causing his breathing to quicken _“So what’s your birthday, Sans? Should I ask you or find out myself?”_

Sans let out a shaky breath, “ it’s the fifteenth-” He was interrupted when Chara ran their tongue over his top rib, causing him to gasp and grip their hand ever-so-slightly tighter.

Chara pressed their hips smoothly against his beneath the covers so they could position themselves over him, then ran their tongue into his, breathing in quickly, _“Of what, Sans?”_ They teased, their question disrupted slightly by the sound of their kissing.

Sans gasped as they ran their body slowly, softly against his, “oh- oh my god. please char, i” Chara ran their hand down Sans’ hips, eliciting another gasp as he was forced to contract against them, “january! it's the fifteenth of january, ok?” He managed as they pushed him back against the cushions.

Sans pressed against them, pulling them both into a gentle roll. He pressed his form firmly against theirs, running his phalanges down their neck, prompting a soft gasp as their tongue suddenly became ever so slightly more tense as it wrapped delicately around his as if they’d been made for each other.

Pressing their hands against his ribs, Chara exhaled gently, letting the air mix with Sans’ breath in his mouth. _“So you’re a Capricorn, huh?”_ The speech tickled a little, and they had to stop as his hands ran down their sides, resulting in a low groan.

Sans exhaled a little sharper as they caressed his ribs, “you realise i’ve no idea what that means, right?” he managed, speaking quickly as they passed their hands gently, softly, down both of his bottom ribs at once, causing him to return the gesture.

Chara laughed, caressing their tongue up against his for need of embrace, _“It means that I’m-”_ They propped themselves up over him, catching their breath and pressing him down against the soft fabric behind him with both hands as they returned to the embrace _“emotional and clingy and you’re **humerus** , but pessimistic.”_

There was a brief silence, then Sans responded, “huh. sounds ‘bout right,” He remarked, feeling every part of their body twisting about him, their tongue wrestling with his in his mouth, their arms brushing delicately against his ribs, and their breath, interchanging with his so closely that they may as well be one organism with a shared set of lungs. “you always were a little clingy…”

They released him immediately, grabbing one of the pillows and playfully smacking it against his face, which wore this smug little grin that was secretly endearing behind it all.

This was bliss, and they hadn’t the faintest as to what they’d done to deserve it.

They laughed gleefully, _“Sans.”_ Then they sighed, bringing him back into the embrace with a gentle kiss, letting their tongue dance about his in a practiced manner, _“About what you said earlier about resetting, I won’t, because for me, you’ll always be the brightest star in the sky, and I wouldn’t trade the universe to have it any other way.”_


	39. Intermission 10: Dust another killer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, a character died in the middle of the last chapter. If you read it, I'm sure you remember it.
> 
> But seriously, that's just the tip of the character-death iceberg...  
> I have big plans for this work... =D

Intermission 10: Dust another killer.

Red stood over the body of the thug. His head was impaled on the nail, and she genuinely wanted to puke at the sight of it, but it was important to maintain composure, after all, she had a job to do.

The body had a long knife wound down the back, but it wasn’t from Red, or anyone, it looked exactly like the wound that had made up Red’s chest when she’d been killed by the human. It was a diagonal slash, unobstructed, clean through and through.

Odd, they hadn’t killed anyone… this time…

Red sighed, pulling out her phone and opening Undernet. She chuckled a little. The yellow lizard was stupid, and really, really needed to take off her nostalgia goggles and see the sequel quality before her, but perhaps she could prove useful… if they could get past that problem, anyway.

ALPHYS: >You think Mew Mew 2 is good? LOLLLLL that’s a joke, right?

Red:>OMG! You’re one of those nerds aren’t you? Don’t you get it? You need to take of your nostalgia goggles and get a whiff of that sequel quality or something?!

ALPHYS: >What?! But it ruins Mew Mew’s whole character arc!

Red:>Sure, but the fight scenes were like, totally needed! If I were to review it, I’d give it five stars. The first one was just boring romance, it’d get three at best.

ALPHYS: > What? Mew Mew 2 is trash – neither kissy, nor cutie! I give it 0 stars at best!

So yeah, that was where most of Red’s time had gone on the way here, into a useless debate with Dr Alphys, about which of the Mew Mew films is better.

Red:>Hey, I need to ask you something.

ALPHYS: >What?! Are going to slander DBZ now?

Red let out a heaving sigh. Did she really think the original Mew Mew Kissy Cutie was on the same level as DBZ? Really? Had she even watched the same movie? Or had she put the disks in in the wrong order? If the thug wasn’t dead, Red would have been relieved to give him another beating.

Red:>I like DBZ, thank you very much!

ALPHYS: >So what is it you actually wanted to ask?

Oh, good, finally, some degree of response. Red sighed, she didn’t exactly have time for this.

Red:>Do you think it’s possible to travel between timelines?

ALPHYS: >Well, perhaps, theoretically, but there’s no proof.

ALPHYS: >I mean, timelines are when different choices are made, right?

ALPHYS: >So if you show up in one you already exist, you make a paradox.

ALPHYS: >Because you made some choices and didn’t make them as well.

ALPHYS: >The only way would be to erase yourself from existence.

Red sighed, well, it was probably about now that she should stop Alphys before she rambled herself into the next year. After all, if that happened, then it’d really be a problem.

Red:>Thanks for the help, nerd.

She folded her phone up again and shoved it into her pocket, then leaned back into the wall and let out a slow breath. She slid down it, defeated, holding her head in her hands. She’d fought before, but never killed, never felt somebody’s dust on her hands.

When a monster dies, their dust should be spread over their favourite thing, but this monster had no friends, no family, nothing. What should their dust be spread on? Who knew; perhaps a garden; a blanket; a teddy bear; maybe even a loved one?

Did this monster have a family? Why were they motivated to kill anyway? After all, monsters hearts were made of love, hope, and compassion. Murder didn’t come naturally. Something really bad must have happened to make them kill.

Red shuddered. If she lost a human friend, she didn’t know what she’d do, and she had this creeping feeling in her gut that she was going to lose Chara. Call it ‘feminine intuition’, perhaps, but it hadn’t ever steered Red wrong. She exhaled slowly, taking out her phone and re-opening Undernet.

Red:>Hey Chara, I know you’re probably busy right now or something, but please, can you talk to me? I just need to know you’re ok.

Red sighed, watching the lights of Hotland and The Core glinting on and off outside the window. She wanted to curl up into a ball and go to sleep, and know that it would all be fine tomorrow, but she knew that it wouldn’t be. There was dust on her hands, and danger on the horizon. She couldn’t just sleep through that.

These thugs, their boss had said something about clearing The Core. It was enough for Red to speculate that they had something planned there, and that whatever it was, they didn’t want anyone walking in on it, so all the more reason to do so themselves.

Red:>Sorry if I’m getting a little sappy or something. I’m just getting a bad feeling right now, like something’s about to go horribly wrong.

Red leaned back, running a hand over her tired eyes. She wanted to sleep so badly, but she couldn’t, could she? Not yet, anyway. Not knowing that if she did, she might have more dust on her hands than she could cope with. She was crippled by the notion of one monster’s death. The idea of many was disturbing to say the least.

Red:>Yeah, I know right? It’s really stupid, isn’t it?! Yeah, I guess I just do that from time to time. Get scared that something bad is gonna happen, you know.

She pulled her cloak around herself, perhaps tighter than it needed to be. It felt so cold. Was this what it felt like to gain LV? She had thought LV meant you could distance yourself. But she couldn’t have imagined it being painful. Perhaps that was why barely anyone had committed genocide of whole races in the past, because if you did, you felt like the scum of the Earth.

Red:>I just… I guess I wish I had someone to talk to right now. Something bad happened at work, so I just wanted to vent or something, you know?

She let out her breath, feeling nothing but empty inside from all the pain. She shuddered. Was this what Chara felt like, all the time? That was a terrifying notion indeed; the idea that a kid – a young kid, was feeling this sort of pain constantly. It sent shivers up her spine.

Red:>How do you deal with what you’re going through? I don’t even think I could handle half of the shit you come up against. I wish I knew how you did it, you know, to make it just a bit easier.

Red let out a long breath, wishing she had something to drink, something strong, so she didn’t have to listen to that sickening crack as the thug’s head met the wooden plank over and over and keep asking herself if, maybe, just maybe, she could have talked him down.

It hurt, thinking about it, thinking about anything hurt. She just got a headache the moment she tried to consider it. She’d killed someone. Someone who probably had a sound reason for doing what they were doing, who she could have talked down. And now she had to live with it.

Red:>I know, you’re not going to answer me, but I just wish I was a better friend, you know. I try to kill you when we first meet, then we next meet when someone else does. Why does every meeting have to involve you getting hurt?

Red felt an answer in the back of her mind, something to do with her. How everywhere she went, somebody got hurt, and not the other way around. How it was pathetic that she even imagined that she could save one of them – it was she who was dooming them, after all.

Red:>I guess I’ve got to go now. Follow up a lead or something, but, stay safe, ok? I don’t think I could live with myself if you got hurt because I wasn’t there for you.

As Red climbed to her feet, she heard a faint clatter as the weapon the thug had dropped clattered along the floor. She bent down to pick it up.

A monsters dust would be scattered over their favourite object. Maybe this wasn’t his favourite object, but it was the only one she knew him by, so it’d have to fit the bill.

She carried it over to the dust. The body was now long gone. And gently set it down in the middle. Then, pulling her cloak tightly round her face, and her hood down over her eyes to hide the pain, she left. Why was she crying anyway? That thug was a bad person, right? Was he? Did she even know that about him, or had she just rushed in trying to play the hero… as usual?

Red sighed, making the long trek down towards The Core. Was she too young for the royal guard? It was sometimes hard to tell. She was skilled, yes, but could she handle the responsibility for her actions? Or had she just been viewing it as a game so far?

Perhaps she need to re-evaluate her career choice after all this was over. At least, for the next couple of years, anyway. She was sure the guard would be fine with her decision. They were practically her family.

She took out her phone one last time.

Red:>Thanks Chara, it means a lot to me that you were willing to let me talk like that. You’re a better friend than I am, even if you don’t think so.

Then Red closed the phone and folded it up, back into her pocket.

Readjusting her cowl, as she often did when she was nervous, Red proceeded. She couldn’t help but smile a little. They’d tried to take her out with a single thug, but if they really wanted The Core to be empty later on, they were going to have to try a little harder than that.


	40. Chapter 28: Out of the frying pan...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The second-to-last chapter in part 4 is finally upon us.
> 
> Trust me, this part has a _big_ finale that you'll never see coming. =D  
>  (This chapter and the next are kinda a double-bill of sorts)

Chapter 28: Out of the frying pan...

The golden hall glinted in a semi-permanent glare from outside, their footsteps echoed down it with such finality as their hands itched with the dust that had wedged itself beneath their fingernails and the pain that had spread through their soul as a result of all the horrible things they had done. Having LV hurt; it didn’t numb pain, it just made it so strong that after a while, the only thing you could do was try to forget about what you had done.

But Sans always gave Chara a full reminder as to who they had hurt, how many they had killed, how they should be feeling. Perhaps that was one of the things they liked the most about him. When all other monsters were unable to even punish them for the horrid things they had done, Sans, a lazy skeleton who made lame puns, had sent them to hell and back again. He’d given them everything they deserved.

It hurt to finally beat him, even more than normal. When he fell to sleep with exhaustion, they spent the first few minutes crying, curled up into a ball. This was the longest period of time that they were able to resist the control of the third one. They didn’t want to win. They wanted to lose so they would have to fight and die and hurt again and again, but they didn’t have control of resets, only The Third One, and Frisk, had control over that ability, and right now, the Third One was the most determined.

They didn’t want to defeat him.

They didn’t want more dust on their hands.

They didn’t-

But their knife still carved down through the air anyway, slashing his chest open to reveal a bloodstain. Even then though, Sans used his dying words to send them one last reminder of who they were, what they had done.

But by that moment, it was too late to cry anymore, because the Third One was back in control, and they couldn’t cry, instead they had to walk through the dust and blood he left behind; walk through the heartache in their chest.

Their footsteps were echoing against the floor of the hall again, but now, it didn’t feel final anymore, instead, it just felt empty and hollow as their LV increased one final time.

Chara awoke with a start and a deep gasp. It was a relief to see and hear Sans snoring inches to their right. They sighed sadly, tossing the covers aside and letting their feet brush against the carpet next to them.

The Third One wasn’t gone, and could take control of them at any moment. Perhaps they were just watching right now out of a perverted curiosity. It wouldn’t be a surprise if they’d been watching for a long time, knowing them, but doing nothing and just letting everyone suffer.

They moved over to a desk in the corner of the room, taking a pen from a thoughtfully provided holder, and began to write. When that was done, they left with a quiet hooking of the door behind them. They couldn’t be around him, could they? Their relationship – it was all wrong, and at any moment they could be compelled by desires that weren’t theirs to gauge his eyes out or open up his chest to see what was inside.

No, Chara couldn’t stay, because their relationship was wrong, they were doing this for both of them.

Nevertheless, they couldn’t help but feel a little heartache as they walked over the bridge into The Core.

Their phone buzzed in their pocket, and they sighed, Sans had probably noticed they’d gone. They took it in their hands and threw it over the edge of the bridge. They had a desire to follow it down.

Then they stepped into the synthesized blue light and vanished from view.

*          *          *

Flowey’s face furrowed in confusion as the darkness before him spoke again.

>I see you have returned. You know I am not them, but you return? How curious…

Flowey let out a breath. That was strange, given flowers didn’t have lungs. But they didn’t have tongues either, so how he could talk was equally a mystery. “Why did you…” He stopped, trying to recompose himself. Why he needed to was a mystery far beyond him, but otherwise… “Why would you force my best friend to kill everyone they loved?”

>Ah. You wish to understand my motivation. I must admit, I have little to none at this point. If I had any motivation right now, Chara would be under my control.

The flower gritted his teeth, **_“ARE YOU BRAINDEAD? DO YOU ONLY RESPOND IN RIDDLES? WHY DID YOU MAKE THEM KILL PEOPLE?”_** He was surprised at himself for such an outburst of anger. Normally he didn’t feel very much at all, after all, he was just a flower with no soul and no emotions. But now, he knew he was feeling something, but he couldn’t quite tell how he was able to feel anything at all. He had no soul, he should still be numb.

>Hm? Yes to two of those questions, and another goes unanswered.

Flowey practically roared with anger. **_“YOU’RE INSUFFERABLE! DON’T YOU GET THAT YOU’RE MEANT TO ANSWER THE LAST QUESTION, LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?!”_** He wanted to know why they’d done that.

>Yes, I understand that I should answer the last question, like a normal person.

Flowey had to grip his roots around the dirt beneath him to keep himself from attacking the darkness before him. **_“WELL THEN WHY DIDN’T YOU ANSWER IT?!”_** He yelled, feeling his temper running incredibly short right now.

>I thought I answered the last question you asked – the one about answering questions, like a normal person.

That was enough for Flowey to roar in absolute infuriation, **_“YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO BOTHER TALKING TO YOU ANY MORE, I’VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN WASTE MY TIME ON YOU.”_** He vanished into the soil, he had something better to do right now.

>He has such a short fuse. YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE THEY WERE SIBLINGS.

It smiled a little at its own poor attempt at a joke, and then vanished into the darkness at the edges of the core. It was time to move on.

*          *          *

Chara felt a little nostalgia as they walked, the core was oddly empty. As if everyone was dead or something. It wasn’t much of a surprise though. If Mettaton’s shows had been cancelled as a result of their beating, then nobody would have been hired to go into the core to fight them.

They sighed, walking along the vacant corridors, slowly solving puzzles with blue lazers that prevented movement, or more of those weird ship puzzles to reach ‘the end’.

It was odd. They’d been expecting more resistance from Gaster or something around Hotland, where his control was most prominent. They weren’t expecting to be able to just walk right through after Goner kid. It was as if he was holding back deliberately for some reason.

*          *          *

Red heard the approaching footsteps on the bridge and drew her sword. She sighed slowly with a shudder. She couldn’t let this happen, and knowing the core had the ability to rearrange itself, she had an idea of what the plan was.

“Sorry Chara, I just can’t let you go any further.”

Chara drew their weapon, a stick that glinted a tinge blue in the semi-darkness _“I have to go Red. If you’re not willing to let me go, then I’ll have to fight you for it, and I’m sure you don’t want that.”_ They felt an ache in their chest. They’d never fought a friend before, always been able to pass it off as a battle against their ‘enemy’, who wouldn’t hesitate to hurt them if they got a chance.

Red sighed, looking down at the ground, she muttered a curse under her breath, “I can’t let you go to your death Chara. I’m going to have to fight you if you take another step forward. And if we fight for real, I have a feeling you’ll have a bad time.” There was a moment of silence as Chara felt the echoes of Sans speech play out in their head.

They couldn’t go back. The player could take control of them at any second, force them to kill everyone. They couldn’t make friends knowing that. _“I have to keep going Red. I can’t turn back now…”_ They sighed, feeling the weight of their soul pulled out of their chest as the wind howled and the machinery of the core clanking faded away into the background.

Red shuddered, “But you don’t. We’re all your friends Chara, and you don’t have to sacrifice yourself to the trap set up for you, or get yourself killed by Asgore.” She sighed, keeping her sword steady, “I don’t know what I’d do with myself if you did that, Chara.”

Chara exhaled slowly, _“But I’ll end up disappointing you, or hurting you, I always do.”_ They shuddered, _“I need to get to Asgore before that happens.”_

Red laughed a dismal laugh and moved her blade forwards, “Do you have any idea how much it will hurt us all if you get yourself killed? I don’t care if you want us to be happy. I don’t want to have to lose a friend for nothing, so please, just put the stick down and let me take you back.”

 Chara sighed, _“I… you’re lying. You can’t want me to come back. You know what I **DID**. How can you be friends with me? I killed everyone you love last time around!” _ They shuddered, tears in the corners of their eyes feeling acidic, _“I don’t understand. How could I even be close to a good friend?”_ They moved slowly, cautiously forward, feeling their legs like they were made of lead.

Red laughed, brushing their stick aside and watching it fall into the abyss below. “You already are, Chara. Stop hating yourself for just one moment and you’ll see how much people like you.” ‘She’ felt the grip of ‘her’ blade in ‘her’ hand and heard the sound of footsteps on the bridge.

A blade thrust forward in the darkness of the bridge, followed by a wheezing cough as it was coated in black blood. “Stupid impostor; you got my nose wrong.” Red drew back the piece of metal, and then gave the impostor a gentle shove, watching it tumble down into the void below.

Chara shuddered, feeling the place where the blade had broken their skin as a small trickle of blood ran down their chest. _“What the hell?”_ They felt terror, fear.

Red sighed, tossing the metal into the abyss, “I don’t even know myself, to be honest.” She let out a small, nervous laugh, “I lost my sword fighting one of the thugs who gave you a beat-down earlier, so if you see someone who looks like me, but has a sword, then don’t trust them, okay?”

Chara let out a heaving breath, _“Am… Am I a good friend, Red?”_ They asked. Their hands were shaking and they could feel tears in the corner of their eyes.

Red smiled, looking Chara in the eyes and holding her cloak just a little wider. “You’re not just a _good_ friend, Chara. You’re the best one I’ve ever had.”

Chara let themself fall forwards, wrapping their arms around Red’s exterior, feeling the cloak tighten comfortingly around their back. Red had been there to save them. If she hadn’t been there, they could’ve... They shuddered at the mere thought. _“Thanks Red, it means a lot.”_

Red laughed a gentle laugh. “I’m your friend Chara. You don’t need to thank me for it. In fact, if this were a normal situation, I’d be annoying you in some brilliant way and you wouldn’t thank me at all, but by not doing it, you’d be thanking me in every way possible.”

She sighed. “But this isn’t normal, and they’ve led you into a trap, and then rearranged the rooms. How else could I have come from that side of the bridge?” She watched the flashing lights for any sign of another attacker, but there was none.

Chara sighed, _“Then I guess we should stick together, right? They’re expecting one of us, not two, after all.”_

Red laughed, “Yeah. I don’t think I’d let anyone do this alone, not even my worst enemy.” She let a smile paint her features, “You’re a great friend Chara. Don’t ever forget that.”

Chara smiled, _“I won’t”_ They felt heartache again, but this time it was not because they were leaving a friend, but because they almost had, and if they had, how would their friends have felt? It would have caused them so much pain, wouldn’t it? They laughed a little, and then took in a deep breath, _“I promise.”_

*          *          *

On the opposite end of a camera, Gaster outright cursed. “Why did nobody stop her? They were meant to _kill or be killed_ there, damn it!” Then he sighed, regaining composure. He had been reassured that the perimeter would be solid, which begged the question as to how Red got in. He’d definitely chase that up soon, but for now, he had business to attend to.

Gaster sighed. He shouldn’t be asking fools to do his job. There were too many amateurs; most had failed to do what he’d asked. Unsurprisingly, Sans hadn’t even tried, and Goner, though they looked promising, was unwilling.

It was time to do his job himself; after all, asking everyone else to do it was a stupid, pointless endeavour. What use was fighting if you were just going to lose in the same way over and over?

He stepped forwards into a room with just fire on the outside, next to a long platform. Straightening out and keeping his eyes on the door, he smiled. Soon the human would come through here, and he would get his sweet revenge.

He smiled as he felt their soul approaching. For them now, it truly was a case of _out of the frying pan, into the fire._ Then he used his magic to douse the fires around the corners of the room, plunging it into complete darkness.

After all, revenge was a dish best served cold.


	41. Chapter 29: Into the fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And hence begins the last chapter of part 4.  
> (Aka: the chapter that puts the first layer of icing on the 'major character death' cake)
> 
> As this is effectively the sixth action scene, I've got you some [amazing music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJzQKlszNWI) by [Kamex](https://www.youtube.com/user/GreatGabite)
> 
> Have fun reading guys. =D

Chapter 29: Into the fire

Chara felt their footsteps echo against the floor under their feet. As they entered the room, they noticed immediately how dark it was. The door slammed behind them, cutting Red out.

“Dark, Darker, Yet Darker…”

Chara shuddered. Of course it was him. He had found a way back from the dead to torture them from beyond the grave. They spoke, but their voice was shaky. _“Gaster? I- I thought you were dead…”_

“Shadows cutting deeper…”

They shivered in the darkness as they heard footfalls outside in stark contrast with the gentle shuffling sounds that were emanating from the back of the room. They spoke again, _“What have you done, Gaster?”_

“Photon readings, negative…”

There was a metallic bang, and the room was suddenly illuminated by a stark white light, revealing Gaster in a dark black suit, just like the one he’d been wearing when he’d died… when they’d killed him. He gestured at them with a long finger, and they could feel him drawing magic from the air.

Chara tried to move, but they were restrained, held firmly by a solid glove of magic. Bones slowly rose up behind them until they were held firmly, the magic piercing their skin, resulting in a yell of pain, as it burst through the other side.

“What do you two think?”

The bones vanished, disintegrated into a fine dust, leaving Chara gasping for breath as they felt a familiar feeling- dust; monster remains on their hands, under their fingernails.

In the light that illuminated half his face, Gaster seemed to smile at the anguish of their memories, of the death and the pain. He had his back to them now.

“Out of the frying pan… AND INTO THE FIRE.”

*          *          *

Sans couldn’t help but feel a little panicked. He felt the fear of losing someone he cared about again, like he’d lost Paps only yesterday. It was terrifying.

They’d gone into the core, if the eyewitness accounts were to be believed. And as the core was the only place he couldn’t teleport, he might not be able to find them in time.

He dashed in through the door, only to be met with a bridge. This was not the standard core layout. He shuddered in realisation. Somebody had switched the rooms.

There was a heavy footfall above him, no, a series of heavy footfalls. He summoned a blaster to make himself feel a little safer as he proceeded along the bridge. His footsteps were echoing against it. The core felt strange… Cold, empty… Where were the workers? Where was everybody?

There was a slow sound, the sound of motors moving in the walls. This room was in movement again. It was odd, very odd.

He felt a feeling of guilt run through his chest. What if something had happened to Chara? What if they’d been manipulating him all along? It’d make sense. They’d been about to kill Papyrus; if he hadn’t stepped in and done it himself, they’d have done it, wouldn’t they?

And they were LV 20. He’d checked them earlier. There was no way they could be feeling love for him right now. They’d probably just used him… or tried to… to make sure they wouldn’t get hurt in the judgement hall. That’d explain the lack of monsters. They were probably just murdering everyone behind his back. Who knows, maybe they were bored? No. He was wrong to think that. They’d given him their word.

_Pressing them against the headboard, the soft sheets wrapping around the pair of them like a glove as their tongues wrestled for dominance, his hands running gentle circles beside their hips, helping them through despite the hitching of their breath as his magic teased them from within, both feeling the euphoria of souls gliding smoothly across each other’s surface._

_Sans sighed,_ _“char?”_ _He wanted to do this forever. To keep feeling the waves of pleasure and his breath hitching in his throat as they took him off guard by trying something new._

_But he’d just checked them. They were LV 20. So he had to be sure that they would keep their end of things, that they wouldn’t betray him like they had done to so many – those who were foolish enough to hope, like Papyrus, his own brother – the last time around._

_They gave a noncommittal ‘mhm’, something that tickled his tongue in a way that made him tense ever so slightly. He suspected that the breathiness of the gesture was deliberate on their part._

_He shuddered. Did he really want to ruin this moment? But could he risk it either?_ _ “i need you to promise me somethin’. please.”  _ _He suspected that the ‘please’ was a little unnecessary, but it stopped them dead in their tracks._

_Chara gave him a faint smile, looking into his eyes. It was like they could read his fear, sense it like it wasn’t even there. “You know how much I love you, right?” They ran a hand down the side of his cranium, pressing themselves comfortably against his ribs, sliding their legs across his hips, eliciting a small groan, “I haven’t felt safe… full, hell, I haven’t even felt loved, in a long time.”_

_Sans sighed. How did he end up feeling guilty, asking this? It was they who had killed everyone. Not the reverse, wasn’t it?_ _ “no matter what happens. please, don’t ever hurt anyone again. if you were using me right now, i don’t know what i’d do.” _

_Chara laughed a little, their eyes softer than he’d ever seen them. “I wouldn’t hurt anyone. I don’t think I could do that even if I tried. And I wouldn’t do that to you, anyway.”_

_They sighed, pressing their arms either side of him, caging him in, “LV isn’t like they say it is. It hurts. The way you end up ‘gaining distance’ is by experiencing so much pain that you no longer feel it. But I guess I couldn’t ever forget any of you guys. No matter how much pain I felt, I remembered you. All of you.”_

_Sans smiled. Not that he didn’t normally smile, but it made him feel better, knowing they wouldn’t hurt him. He pulled them back close, feeling their breath against his shoulders, which caused him to tense as they let out a soft, and rather breathy moan. Guess he hit the right spot._

Sans sighed, removing the blaster. This place didn’t exactly hold good memories for him, so it wouldn’t surprise him if he was a little jumpy.

*          *          *

Gaster spread his arms, restraining the human behind him with his magic, then smiled, “Fallen. It is nice to finally see you again.” He couldn’t help but smile as they struggled against his iron grip. He felt the movement of his armies outside the wall. The trap was sprung, and soon enough, it would snap shut.

Chara wanted to scream, to yell out. Anything to get out of his grip, but his magic was stronger than them. They shuddered, hanging their head low.

“I’m going to guess you’ve forgotten who built the Core.” He spread his arms wide as he could, he watched as Chara began to shudder, feeling the fear and the undeniable guilt that was spreading through their every muscle. The core was in the right place now, and his armies would soon move out and destroy their new ‘friends’.

Chara felt a pain in their chest. Gaster had something planned. Something big… The core was his invention. They’d been an idiot to walk into his home turf, and now they were going to pay the price for it.

“I designed protocols into my invention for a time at which the royal guard, or a member of my family, discovered what I was doing with you; protocols such as the random rearrangement of rooms.” As if on cue, one of the rooms outside the door jerked back, allowing another room to shuffle into its place. “The core is the only place where members of my species cannot teleport. You used that against me while we were alive, but now, I can use it against you.” He smiled, watching the horror in their eyes as they realised what he meant.

Gaster had been furious to learn Sans had built a relationship with them – a romantic one, nevertheless. But he’d decided quickly that what couldn’t be manipulated could always be destroyed, with exactly the same result.

He laughed as they struggled again. “I have waited a _very_ long time for this revenge of mine. I do hope that it is fulfilling.” He signalled to his armies to move out into the core. It was time to burn everything they loved to ashes and dust.

Chara tried to scream, but his magic clamped tightly around their jaw as he moved them upwards, forcing them to watch the screens as the army spread across the Core. Sans and Red were moving with no urgency. _They didn’t have a clue as to what was coming their way, did they?_ There was an ache in their chest as they realised that it was _their fault_. He’d engineered it so that they’d see that it was _their fault_ for _defying_ him and making friends.

“Once I defeat you, and have my revenge, I will take the six human souls, and your seventh, and emerge onto the surface.” Gaster let out an amused laugh, “The humans shall not stand a chance against a God, just as us monsters did not stand a chance against them all those years ago. Just as my wife did not stand a chance against her attackers, they will not stand a chance against me.”

As Chara began to cry, knowing what was coming, imagining the dust as Sans, and Red were struck down by a volley of magic, killed in a single blow by an army. Gaster watched through his cameras. Red was being forced back by a volley of magic that she could not contend with, and Sans, attacked from all sides, was being defeated as well. Just one hit and he’d be out for the count too.

“I made you to be a weapon, Chara. I wanted you to be the one to wield the glorious position of God, but you proved to me that no human is good or can be trusted.” He laughed, twisting their arms with his magic, feeling a satisfied grin grow on his face as they yelled out in pain, “Even now you mock me, refusing to kill anyone, being all sappy and friendly, **_as if you didn’t kill them all last time._** ”

He laughed, watching Sans tire slowly but surely, being forced to his knees by the magic on all sides, watching Red try to fight back, only to take a solid hit to the shoulder that knocked her onto her back, watching the colour and the hope drain from Chara’s face, the fear in their eyes as they tried to beg him for mercy. That was the same look his wife had when the humans struck him down. How dare a human wear the face of his wife?

“No. I’m done making dumb idiots do my work for me. Even the one from the other world, who assured me they could do what I asked, failed me in the end.” He sighed, moving in closer to Chara, who strained against their magic bonds to no avail, their face a mess of tears, contorted in anguish. “They told me they could show the monsters how awful humanity could be, but then they gave up and **_let you walk free._** ”

He let out a long, frustrated breath, running a hand down Chara’s face, through their hair. They tried to recoil and he laughed. “I wonder how your ‘bonefriend’ is doing… **_How about I show you?_** ”

Chara felt image after image of Sans, being knocked back by magic, slammed against the walls as magic attack after magic attack hit him, blasting through their cranium. They let out a soft whimper and felt further tears run down their face. They’d imagined it, but knowing it was true, feeling his pain, his fear, his exhaustion. It hurt even more.

Gaster passed in front of them again, removing his hand. “That is the fate of everyone you care about Chara. Because you can’t save people, you can only hurt them by affiliation. You should have stopped trying long ago.” He pulled back, smiling at their steely determined look. It was the look of someone who had lost everything, who would give everything to kill him right now. It was the look they should be wearing. “I’ve lost a lot to humanity, to you. So you’ll be confined to the void as I was.”

Chara struggled against his magic again, hoping now more than ever that they’d be able to free themself, be able to stop him. He laughed, amused. “What? You didn’t think I chose the core for nothing, did you? I pulled back my affiliates, letting you roam free with a false sense of security, made sure that Muffet was too terrified to lift a finger, and got your little ‘premier’ cancelled. And like an idiot, you walked right into my trap.”

He sighed, “Granted, it would have been easier if you’d just let my shape-shifting friend do his job, but instead, I guess I’ll have to throw you in myself. But that’s fine… I like watching you suffer.”

Sans was rammed against the wall by magic, he shuddered as he felt a deep pain in his chest, no longer able to climb up, anchored down by the magic, “sorry char, guess i’m not strong enough to save ya.”

He recalled the feelings of elation he’d had just an hour before. He should have known he’d lose it all, shouldn’t he?

He’d been wrong to even second-guess them. Was that why they’d run from him, because they’d sensed his doubt? He wanted, so much to make it right to them, but he couldn’t. They were gone, weren’t they?

Gaster smiled a devilish grin, “Looks like somebody’s on their last legs. Seems like high time I showed you how he’s doing again, huh?”

Chara felt the image of Sans, pressed hard against the wall re-infiltrate their head. They shuddered as they watched the magic press against him and he spoke “please. if ya gonna kill me… tell them i love ‘em.” They could feel his fear, but also his love. His sorrow and regret. He felt he hadn’t been a good enough partner. They shuddered. It was they who had failed him.

The magic cracked his ribs in, and they struggled. They wanted to scream, to yell out. But their mouth was frozen as Gaster roared with laughter. Why was he taking pleasure in this? Was it just because it hurt them? They felt their face, tearstained, their heart, broken. They’d felt like they had a shot at a happy ending. Should’ve known it was a mirage. “and… if you’re listening, stay strong for me. keep that promise, no matter what, okay?”  And then they had to watch as he turned to dust, as the feelings of his they shared fell away to emptiness, disintegrated into dust before their eyes.

They felt sickened as they gasped for air but not enough came, as they wanted to struggle, but their bonds held firm. They’d imagined it, but actually watching it was a hundred times worse _. Was he really gone? Forever? He… No. He couldn’t be gone._ “How touching… I swear, I feel tears in my eyes… Not!” Gaster remarked, ramming a fist into Chara’s chest, causing them to cough and wretch. They already felt sick with grief, and the magic bonds released and they fell to their knees.

Gaster laughed, “Yes, that’s right, kneel to your master fallen. Kneel to me!” He smiled, “You’re just as pathetic as you were back then, always finding someone else upon whom to blame you being a **_pathetic little crybaby!_** ”

He turned on his heel, watching Red hide behind one of the pillars in the corner of a room. Her cloak was torn and there was so much fear in her eyes. He laughed, “Thankfully, I have found a new protégée; one with hardily as much mystery as my former associates, but a lot more prowess.”

Chara wanted to run at him, but their limbs felt like iron. They couldn’t move anywhere even if they wanted to. It was pathetic. He was right. Anyone would be a better person than them. Was he just their excuse? Was it their nature to be pathetic?

It must be. They’d ran away from Sans out of fear of making him get hurt, and they’d got him killed. They were _such_ an idiot! They sighed sadly. Their heart felt like it had been ripped up in their chest, their stomach torn apart before their eyes and forced back down their throat. He really was gone, wasn’t he? And they didn’t even know what object he liked the most, what to spread his dust on. They didn’t deserve him. They never had.

He sighed, “I never liked killing, but when it comes to you, I think I may just enjoy it for once.” He sighed, “It’s time for you to die, fallen, and time for me to take what is yours freely, and add it to the collection of what is mine.” He laughed, “I’ve never been a religious man, but after what you did to me, I do hope you burn in hell. After all, it’s where you’re going.”

Chara laughed grimly, they felt like their heart was on fire, burning from the inside out, like Gaster had taken everything they’d ever loved from them in a single fell swoop.

They lunged forwards, catching Gaster off guard. He looked terrified as they brought their weapon down repeatedly, but each time, diverting it to the floor next to him, missing, because part of them couldn’t do it, even if they hurt.

Gaster froze fear, surprise, and finally resignation passed over his face, and then he laughed a slow, pained laugh “I promised you I’d get the last laugh, didn’t I? Ha… ha…ha…”

Chara felt tears prickling in their eyes. Gaster was horrible, perhaps even evil, he deserved to die, but seeing it now, they finally understood. He wasn’t all bad, was he?

He was just a guy who had been hit by a curveball at every single moment of his life, every time he’d made a plan to fix his broken life, it always went wrong, always fell to pieces. He was pained, but he didn’t deserve death, did he?

They drove their knife down into the floor next to his head. _“You made me a weapon, but I have free will, Gaster. I won’t prove you right. Even-”_ They felt bile in their throat, remembering Sans turning to dust in front of their eyes. They wanted to kill him, but forced themselves to say no. _“Even if it costs me everything, I’ll keep sparing you until you realise that you’re wrong.”_

Gaster struggled, becoming restless, “What on Earth are you talking about? I made you to kill. Do it, it’ll make you feel better about Sans; about Red.”

Chara sighed, _“Maybe it will, but it won’t fix anything, will it? You’ll have been proved right, and you’ll remember it the next time you’re in the void.”_ They laughed a small, pained laugh. This was what Sans would have wanted, too. Sans wouldn’t want them to kill again. That was what Gaster wanted.

They smiled a little perhaps, with what little feeling they had left, they could do the right thing… It brought just a little warmth to their heart.

 _“And it’ll be better too. If I kill you, you’ll be right; you’ll ‘win’ at this game.”_ It took every ounce of restraint they had to keep their hand from the knife by his head. _“I get it, you lost someone. Now you’ve done the same to me. We’re even now Gaster. I shouldn’t kill you, because you have never killed me.”_

Gaster’s face contorted with rage, “You were meant to kill me! You are supposed to kill me, to show monsters how horrible humanity is. That’s why I put cameras on the walls!” He realised he’d said a little too much and his cheeks tinged a faint purple.

They smiled a little. It was amusing, and reminded them of Papyrus.

But he’d killed Sans, they sighed sadly, their breath coming out shaky and broken, pained. _“You’re hurt Gaster. You want revenge. But I’ve done that before. It always goes wrong, and even if it goes right, it leaves you feeling empty, alone and afraid. What do you do with yourself when you’ve done it? What do you have to go back to?”_

They laughed mirthlessly, _“If you want to kill me, then I’m up for it. It won’t help me repent or anything, but it’ll be fair game, for how I killed you while we were still alive.”_

Gaster froze, were they telling the truth? Did they really regret it? Perhaps he was the _real_ monster. No, it wasn’t uncertain, it was definite. He’d tortured a damn kid, and killed his own son for revenge. What kind of a person did that anyway? They were stronger than him, emotionally, morally, physically.

He spoke. _“I hurt so many people… I’m such a terrible person, aren’t I?”_ He voice sounded soft, hoarse, pained.

Chara sighed, finally, they were getting through to him. _“I’ve hurt just as many, if not more people than you.”_ They shuddered, _“It doesn’t go away, it doesn’t get any easier with time, but you can repent… by forcing yourself to do the right thing, you can at least try to... try to repent for your sins.”_

Gaster seemed to retreat back. _“How did I not see this? How did I not see how they were manipulating me?”_ He gave a dour laugh, _“I just saw what I wanted to see, didn’t I… I just saw your mistakes, not your successes, or your kindness, or your… or your friends… I thought you must have been… manipulating them… Now I see the only person who was manipulating was I…”_

Chara leaned back, pressing their back against his. _“How about we start over? I mean, we could be friends, right?”_ They sighed sadly. No. Sans wouldn’t want that, would he? He wouldn’t want them being friends with his killer. _“Ah, who am I kidding? You killed my boyfriend. It’s not like I can just sidle on up and be your friend after that.”_

Gaster sighed sadly. That was to be expected. He always did rub people up the wrong way, before death, after it, he hadn’t changed at all. _“I understand. You should head out the door behind us. It’ll take you to the elevator, which leads to New Home. It’s the first step on a long road of repaying people for me.”_

The door behind them opened to reveal Red. She looked a little out of breath, but nothing major. “Dr W.D Gaster, you are under arrest.” She managed.

Gaster seemed to shudder. _“Wh- What for?”_ He looked scarred, no, terrified. The fear in his eyes was like that of a little kid who knew he’d eaten all the chocolate biscuits and was about to be chewed out, severely, by his parents.

Red showed a half-smile, “You really want me to list all the charges? I’m not sure if I can do it in under five minutes.” She recognised his fear in the sharp gulp he gave upon hearing the response, and reassured him, “But you seem to regret it, and Chara’s alive and well, so I’m sure you’ll get a fair trial.”

As she got to business cuffing him, Chara walked out of the door and took the elevator up to New Home.

As it climbed, they felt an ache in their chest. Perhaps they should have taken Sans dust with them? No. That’d make it certain that he was dead. They breathed out. They didn’t want to know.

As it came to a stop and the doors slid slowly open, they said the one thing they’d never expected to say in a million years. They stepped out into the grey corridor and felt the memories of their life before. They could feel their sins crawling down their back, and though, of course, they did make sure to say it under their breath. They still said it with a genuine smile, because it wasn’t a lie, it was just something they’d never expected to say.

_“Thanks Gaster, It means a lot to me.”_


	42. Chapter 30: Best friends forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And you made it to part 5 (Sans a certain skeleton, of course but...)  
> ((sorry.))
> 
> Let's try to cover up the wound with some painful fluff, coupled with self-depreciation and mood whiplash.  
> That oughta fix everything, right?!

Part 5: Fall apart

Chapter 30: Best friends forever

The corridors before new home left Chara feeling regretful. They already held deep regrets, but these corridors were the first point last time at which they made Asriel scared of them. They hoped he didn’t remember, but they knew, deep down, that he definitely remembered, and would confront them about it sooner or later.

Hence, they chose the location in the silent house. It was eerie, the silence, and the place almost felt as if it had been abandoned. It sent a shiver up Chara’s spine, even imagining that.

They opened the door to their room, taking a seat on the bed that once belonged to them. They undid the bows on the present nearest, opening it slowly, and putting the locket around their neck. It felt cold, unwelcoming. They had betrayed it in use, after all.

They couldn’t will themself to even touch the other present. They had too many memories of how the knife had come down on their brother, how it had sliced dangerously through him, how it had hurt him so much as he’d cried and begged them to stop, to even go near it anymore.

With that they remembered why their brother wasn’t here right now. Why the place felt abandoned anyway. Because of their stupid mistakes, their brother was a soulless flower, and their parents hated each other.

They felt the prickle of tears at their eyes. Normally they would have tried to talk to Sans at a time like this, but he was dead because of another one of their many stupid mistakes. If they’d just told him they were leaving, he wouldn’t have even been in the core. He’d have been out of Gaster’s reach.

They pressed their face into the pillow. It smelt like them, even after all this time. The smell was faint, but Asgore had probably never washed these sheets in memorial to them. They didn’t deserve a memorial, and the smell of their own flesh was repulsive.

Chara shuddered. The pillow was already soaked from their tears. Big kids don’t cry, was what they’d told Asriel while he was alive, but they were even bigger a crybaby than he was. It was even worse than being a hypocrite, because they were meant to be his big sibling. They weren’t supposed to judge him for things like that. If they hadn’t, maybe he wouldn’t be a flower.

It was a beautiful day outside. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming, and Sans was right the last time. On days like these, kids like them should definitely be burning in hell. They’d fit right in there.

There was a vague feeling, like arms around their chest, but it wasn’t arms, it was vines. But the vines weren’t pressed in, like Flowey’s usual method of holding someone captive, like they should be, but instead, they were held loosely, as if approximating a hug.

“Chara, you always told me that big kids don’t cry. I guess it’s now my turn to tell you.” The voice sounded so perfectly like Asriel’s. Well, it was Asriel’s, but it sounded like the voice he had when he was alive.

Chara shrunk away from the vines and the voice, _“Don’t come near me Asriel. Do you have any idea of how many people I’ve hurt?”_ They shuddered as tears clawed their way out of pained eyes and desperately made a break for the safety of the floor. Even their tears were scared of them. They sighed, _“I don’t deserve forgiveness for that.”_

Flowey furrowed his brow, moving closer and looking into Chara’s eyes. They’d lost their usual determined red and faded into a more natural, weaker brown. He would have sighed too, if he had lungs, but he didn’t, so he just approximated a sigh, “Of course I know what you’ve done, Chara. I remember every moment of it, but you deserve better than to beat yourself up about it. We’re all willing to forgive you, Chara.”

Chara laughed, a pained, regretful laugh, _“Of course you are.”_ They managed, then curled up and sighed, _“But I can’t forgive myself for what I’ve done. This is what I meant when I said humanity was terrible. I wasn’t excluding myself from the verdict, Ree.”_ He recoiled at the nickname, and they couldn’t help but feel relieved. They shuddered, _“I’m a demon, and I don’t deserve forgiveness, especially not from the purest angel I ever met.”_

Asriel moved over to the bed and rested his head onto their shoulders. He could feel the sobs that wracked their body, the convulsions of pain that went through their every being. This was Gaster’s fault, wasn’t it? He’d done something in the core, hadn’t he? Before they’d gone into the core, they’d been fine, he daresay, happy. But now, they were broken again.

Asriel sighed, “Chara, I won’t pretend to know what Gaster did to you, but I don’t hold anything you did against you. I couldn’t if I tried, because you’re just a kid, I’m just a kid. We’re both kids, not angels or demons, kids.”

Chara let out a sob, _“No Asriel, I’m no kid. What kind of kid does what I’ve done, Ree? What we’ve done. We’re not kids by any version of the term.”_ Their breath was shaky as they felt the faint warmth next to them. Flowey the flower had a soul because of something they’d done.

Asriel sighed, “I won’t deny what I’ve done, what you’ve done, are bad things. But I can’t let you go through all this alone, Chara. We’ve both hurt and been hurt, it’s time to stand together again.” He couldn’t help but smile a little, he wouldn’t have dreamed of doing that a few days before, so he continued to smile as he spoke, “Before you came back, I felt empty, but with every moment you’re here, I can feel myself becoming more and more like Asriel again.”

Chara shuddered, they could almost feel fur around their chest and a soft fluffy head rested against their shoulders. They’d ruined that. They’d destroyed something so pure and they just wanted to curl up and cry, but no. They had to be strong, for Asriel, because if they weren’t, then he’d have to face what he’d done alone, and they couldn’t let that happen to him.

Chara laughed a little, _“I guess we learn from each other… When I’m violent, you’re violent, when I’m kindred, you’re kindred. We’re both teaching each other to be whole again.”_ They reached out and ran a hand against his petals. They were wet to the touch. Was he crying? He really was like Asriel, wasn’t he?

Asriel sighed, “Do you think… maybe we’re still bonded? Maybe that’s why I felt so empty, because I was bonded to something that was gone… Maybe that’s why I’m starting to feel things again, because you’re back…” There was a silence that hung over them both like a curtain hangs before a window, still, unmoving. It opened like a curtain would too, pulled back.

Chara laughed a little, _“Being bonded to you was one of the best parts. You were so kind and warm and soft. You were a ray of sunshine to my stormy skies.”_ They smiled. They didn’t do that often enough, _“I miss that, you know, that feeling of being full...”_

Asriel’s hand was soft and furry against their face as he rested his head against their shoulders. “I know, Chara. I missed you too. That’s why Flowey was obsessed with you.” He reminded them.

Chara felt both grief and elation rise in their chest at once, escaping in something somewhere between a laugh and a sob, but neither one nor the other. They smiled, holding his soft paw in their hand, feeling the fur against it as they rested their head alongside his own. _“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”_ They mused as the guilt caught in the back of their throat.

There was a faint laugh from Asriel, “Neither did I.” His fur was wet from tears as he leant gently against them, letting them shudder in his arms as he comforted them as he had done in years past, running a hand gently against the side of their face. Chara was crying, and it always took a lot to make Chara cry.

The only other time Asriel had seen Chara cry like that was when they’d accidentally put buttercups into a pie for their dad, instead of cups of butter. They didn’t know he’d seen them, but after they’d left the room laughing in a rather pained manner, they’d cried in the same place, in the same way.

Perhaps he should have comforted them back then, but he knew they didn’t like him fussing over them, so he’d left them to it. He was definitely fixing that mistake now though…

It took them a good many minutes to stop crying tears that were of both happiness and regret. Both were happy to see each other again, but both felt that they, through their actions, had hurt or betrayed the other, and each knew that the other felt that way; one of the facts of being bonded to someone by any form of intimate soul connection. You faintly felt an echo of their feelings and thoughts in the back of your mind.

Chara sighed, _“Do you want to see him with me?”_ They asked. Who they were referring to with ‘him’ was unsaid, but understood by them both. They shuddered, _“I know you probably don’t want to explain that you were a soulless killer for a while, but…”_

Asriel chuckled, “Neither do you, Chara.” He had this lovely smile as he comforted them with his paws on their back, “So, for you, I’ll put my fear and my apprehension aside. That’s what siblings do, right?”

Chara laughed, _“I don’t remember what we are… were…”_ They sighed, knowing their face was wet. It shouldn’t be. They shouldn’t be crying like that, they should be strong… Oh, who were they kidding? They’d never been strong in their life, so they might as well let that truth overwhelm them with tears. They smiled, _“I mean, we’re best friends, too, right?”_

The furry laughed, “Chara, please read what that locket says, out loud to me, so I can hear it.”

Chara tried to suppress a smile that was creeping across their face, so they responded, _“Nah.”_ Evidently, they failed to hold back the smile, because they started laughing as they responded.

Asriel held them closer again, “Why not? Don’t you want your question to be answered?” Their head was in his shoulders and he could feel their laughter.

Chara sighed, _“Because if I did that, then I’d have to let you go.”_ They smiled, _“I don’t want to let you go.”_ They felt the fear in their chest. Maybe they were overstepping a bit here, but they felt like if they let go, he’d turn to dust before their eyes again. They couldn’t bear the thought of that happening again.

The small goat giggled, “I don’t want to either, you know.” He felt their head on his shoulders. He had shoulders again. It was a soothing reminder that he wasn’t a flower anymore, that he could actually feel things and- and maybe his family might be able to rebuild. He sighed, “Do you want to stay like this for a short while?” He pressed. But he already knew the answer.

Chara smiled, _“Best friends forever, Asriel. That’s what it says.”_ Then they laughed, _“I’d love to stay here like this for all eternity.”_ They teased, enjoying the silence of the hug, as if it was just the two of them and the world around them meant nothing anymore. They wished they could do that, just stop time and embrace him forever, fulfil the wishes of the locket…

Asriel flushed, “I love you too, Chara.” He managed to counter, and now it was the human’s turn to flush a rather vibrant shade of red.

Chara was very good at putting words in his mouth like that; they always had been.

He laughed a little, because some things would never change, and because he knew that, although they teased him like that, their love for him was genuine and ran so much deeper than anyone, even Chara themself would ever willingly admit.

As Chara held him in what could only be described as the ‘longest hug in the history of the universe’, they smiled a little, _“I’ll keep you safe Asriel. I won’t let you get hurt like that again.”_ Then they held him right against him, holding on tightly, _“Because you’re my best friend, **and I’m not ever going to let go.”**_

Asriel took in an intake of breath, his best friend could pretend to be cold and uncaring all they liked, but in the end, they were a huge sap with a big-heart. He laughed a little, “Hey, Chara?”

Chara let out a gentle laugh, one which ran straight into Asriel’s right shoulder and neck, causing him to tense ever so slightly, _“Yeah?”_ They asked, letting his soft fur brush up against their arms.

They loved the fur. It was so soft and fluffy, perfect for hugs. You could even go as far as to say that, when it came to the boss monsters, they, Chara Dreemurr, the demon who comes when you call their name, was a _hug addict_.

Asriel laughed, “I know you might not want to, but, can we go to the surface sometime? I want to see the stars.” He had this sincere honesty about him, but he also seemed nervous.

That was his compassion. So much that he didn’t want to even ask about accomplishing his wish, the thing he’d wanted to do when he’d been in waterfall all that time ago. Out of fear that it might be something Chara didn’t want to do.

Chara smiled, _“You’re too nice Az, asking my feelings about this. Your wish.”_ Then they sighed, _“But I promise you, we’ll climb this mountain one day and I’ll show you the stars on the surface. I don’t even remember them that well myself.”_

Asriel was taken aback. He shook a little, “Y-you promise? You’ll actually do it?” He asked. He was unsure, and hoped that they weren’t joking, but they sometimes did that. Made a tasteless joke to try to cheer themself up, to try to numb their pain.

Chara smiled, _“Of course Ree. I love you, so I’m willing to put my fear, my apprehension aside, and stand with you, as your sibling, and as your best friend.”_

Asriel laughed a little, hugging ever so slightly tighter (yes, they were still hugging), and smiled, clutching their locket in his hand, “Best friends forever, right?”

Chara smiled. It was the same smile they’d worn when he’d given them that locket. The smile that had made his blood run wild with excitement. The smile that was so true, so genuine, it could rival a force of nature.

They placed their hand in his as the red, the determination, returned into their gaze, and then they spoke a single sentence that meant the world to them, and to Asriel.

_“Best friends, forever.”_


	43. Chapter 31: Mistakes were made.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yup. This is the chapter in which we (finally) meet _King Fluffybuns_ himself.
> 
> (Sorry, I just really, really wanted to write the name ' _King Fluffybuns_ ')
> 
> We also may or may not find out some of the motives of our badster.

Chapter 31: Mistakes were made.

The room was kept in an unnatural shade of white light as Red and Gaster sat opposite each other. Red wanted to charge him with every sentence in the book for what he’d done, or at least, tried to do, but it was important to get the full story in a case like this one.

She sighed, that didn’t exactly keep her from hating him. “Gaster, why did you attempt to kill a child.” She smiled a little. Something about an interrogation room, it felt like home, after all, she was in control here, nowhere else, only here. “It won’t make me sympathise with you.” She reassured him, “But it might lessen the sentence a little.”

Gaster had this smile on his face, like he was somehow holding all the cards. “So, you’re asking me this out of curiosity, correct?” He leaned back into his chair, like he was comfortable. This wasn’t right. He’d just been caught, he shouldn’t be relaxed, but he was.

Red scoffed, “No, I’m asking you because I have to. I wouldn’t even want to indulge you in a luxury such as conversation if it were up to me.” She didn’t let her gaze waver with any emotion at all, after saying that, but it still crept in, the hurt.

The royal scientist chuckled, “How kind of you.” The remark was drier than the driest desert sand, and held less interest than an empty bank account. But hey, at least he had _a sense_ of humour, right?

When Red responded with the same scowl, he continued, “I assume you know what it means to lose someone close to you, correct?” He asked. He knew full and well that she did, if her composure in this room were to be believed, but he wasn’t going to tell her that.

Red sighed, she couldn’t exactly just scowl for the whole interrogation, and perhaps if she let him talk, he might slip up. So she obliged, “Yes. Is there a reason you ask?” Her voice wavered a little. It was an obvious slip up, but it was just because this meeting in here, it felt too similar to the meeting she’d had with the one who had killed her parents.

Gaster leaned back, “Then you know how the pain drives you, makes you do things that, perhaps, you otherwise would deem irresponsible, or amoral.” His mask of indifference fell aside slightly at the word ‘amoral’.

None of what he was doing was moral. That was a truth he’d come to accept. His pursuit was going to lead him to a dark place from which there would be no coming back. That was something he had accepted a long time ago.

Red felt a small chill run up her spine. Was he likening himself to her? He was nothing like her, was he? He had tried to kill a kid.

But then again, hadn’t she killed just days ago? Maybe they weren’t as different as one might think…

Gaster took in a deep, shaky breath, he was going back to a past that hurt him to even think about. He definitely didn’t want to see her dust, how it had been strewn about the floor, mixed with her blood. So he wouldn’t. He wasn’t going to let that image into his mind, instead, he’d just recount it, as emotionlessly as possible, right?

“I…” He looked conflicted. He didn’t like telling people about her, because he didn’t like remembering the scene himself, “…lost someone, one of the first deaths in the war.”  He looked down at the table, his reflection staring back at him.

He’d changed since then. He’d gotten stronger with every loss, every defeat, and soon, he’d get them all back. Get them back for how they’d laughed at him when he’d been in the most pain, how easily they’d forgotten about _her_.

Red sighed, was this really his whole motivation, the war? Seriously, Gaster needed to let it go. That was decades ago. Most monsters had already forgotten about it and allowed their lives to progress.

Gaster continued, “My wife. She was loving, kind, beautiful… Better than I am.” He smiled at her memory, “She liked me though, told me I was her only love, just as I told her the same. We were going to have kids… to be a family.” He looked down again. He couldn’t hold his head high.

He had this pained look on his face when he looked back up, “As tensions rose, we… no, _I_ thought we’d be fine. She wanted to move, but I told her we’d stay the winter.” He laughed, but it wasn’t even slightly indulged,  “It’s my fault she died.”

Red shuddered, deciding not to interrupt him. After all, the war would explain a hatred for humans in general, but his distaste for Chara felt far more personal than that. But, though she wanted to let him continue, she decided to prompt him, after all, she wanted answers, not his memoirs. “How did she die, Gaster?”

Gaster sighed, “She died horribly, with a knife brought down against her chest, dusting her slowly, painfully as she screamed in agony.” He took in a long breath, “They-” His breath caught in his throat, and he swallowed, taking another deep breath, “They forced me to hold the knife, or we’d both die.”

“I wanted to take the chance.” He looked like he was about to cry, but he just laughed, trying to laugh the pain away, failing. He continued, “But she told me she’d rather burn in hell than I die for her.”  His voice wavered as he spoke, wobbled with pain.

Red felt sick to the stomach. The humans had forced Gaster to kill his own wife, forced him to feel her dust spread over his hands. Made it so that he couldn’t even give her a proper funeral, because the dust was already all over the objects upon which it would be spread. No wonder he hated them.

She sighed, keeping control, “So, how did you meet Chara?” She asked.

Gaster laughed a pained laugh, “I met them as the royal scientist. I was hurt, burying myself deeper and deeper into my work. You have to understand that, right?” The look in his eyes was a pleading look, one that was impossible to deny or ignore.

He shuddered, “They were hurt, and I was meant to fix them, but I built them back up the way I wanted.” He looked down, shame evident across his being. “We both hated humanity for our own reasons, they’d been hurt by their ‘parents’, but never told me how.”

He leaned forwards a little, “They felt that they weren’t useful enough, weren’t a good person, probably because of the abuse they’d endured.” He sighed, “So I gave them a suggestion. They could be more useful if they let a monster absorb their soul, and use it to break the barrier with six others from the surface.”

There was a silence that hung over the room like a drape as he continued, “But then, just the night before it was all supposed to happen, they had a change of heart.” He grinned, but nothing was funny, “They were the key to my revenge, the one thing I wanted, and they held it right in front of my hands, just within my grip, only to tear it all away.”

Gaster sighed, “What’s more, only days later, like they were mocking me, they carried out the plan anyway, messed it up, meaning it couldn’t, and wouldn’t, ever be tried again, and later still, went through and murdered everyone over and over – killed the monsters.”  He laughed a little, “My own weapon turned on me, and resigned me to an existence where I watch them hurt those I love time and time again.”

He looked relieved to finish, but there was now a vengeful fire burning in his eyes, “I was hurt, in pain, and they tore up the one anchor keeping me here in front of me, and then spat on my darn grave.” He laughed a crazed laugh, “I intend to make their life hell. Give them back all the pain they gave me.”

Red shuddered. Monsters didn’t break like this often, but when a monster did break, be it from stress, or anger, maybe both. They broke _hard_. She sighed,  “But you killed people – Sans, Papyrus, and many others too. Gaster, are you really any better than them?”

Gaster laughed, they’d slipped. They’d revealed their true nature, and so he could feel a lot safer now. He grinned, “It takes a lot more than what I’ve done to become a _demon_ , like they are.” He leaned back, smiling still, “And as for killing people, don’t you get it yet?”

Red felt a chill run up her spine as he continued; a maddening grin on his face.

**“To make a good omelette, you can’t be scared to break a few eggs.”**

*          *          *

Walking the grey-tinted corridors felt familiar. There wasn’t much to talk about, given that Flowey had already said everything last time, so instead, an awkward, fearful silence hung over them both.

Chara shuddered. He was still there in their mind; they could still see him begging them to stop as their hands moved without prompt, slicing through his exposed vines.

Sometimes, it was hard to tell if that was them or the other, because the other blended so seamlessly with them. They weren’t so different. Both in pain, both detached from the world in which they stood. Both wanted to kill him, but for different reasons. The other wanted to kill him for power, but Chara wanted to kill him to save him from the other’s methods; to make it quick and painless for him.

The other would always begin by looking for a way to befriend somebody, but then, when they were at their weakest, expecting it the least, the other would murder them in cold blood. It seemed to take pleasure in the gazes of utter betrayal. Looks that, just on their own made Chara want to… nothing good…

The way it acted sometimes, leaving them stood there, unable to bring themself to move, for hours, it was like the other one thought the world was some kind of game. Maybe to them, it was. Perhaps they’d left to get guidance… to get help… But what kind of _guide_ would tell you to murder innocents?

Who would even make a game out of the slaughter of a race? Who would even want to kill monsters? Did they not get that monsters were kind, and loving, and didn’t even deserve the pain that was given? Or did they justify it with curiosity; wanting to ‘see what would happen’ if they killed every person from the ruins to new home?

Chara didn’t notice that they were crying until a soft, fluffy pair of paws wrapped around them and drew them into a hug. They didn’t even realise it until their brother wrapped his arms around their neck and torso and pulled them in so that they could suffer in peace.

They smiled a little. It was a weak smile, but at least it was something. Because it didn’t matter, he was here now, so it didn’t matter anymore. He was here, and he’d forgiven them for what they’d done. Still, they shook, and looked up at him. He was so soft, so kind. Who would want to destroy something so beautiful? Had they wanted to?

It was hard to tell who was who when you all shared the same body, the same eyes, and the same set of senses. When anyone could be in control at any moment, and any set of legs could move in any direction at any time.

Asriel understood their sadness. He had his own regrets too. He’d hurt people as Flowey. He’d hurt them. But he hadn’t killed an entire race, let alone his own, and, unlike them, he could at least say that he was soulless, that that gave him an excuse for what he did. They didn’t even have that. They had been tethered to a soul, and able to feel it all for the whole time.

He gave them an encouraging smile, “Don’t worry Chara. I forgive you for what you did, and I’m sure Dad will too.” He held them just a little tighter when he finished the sentence, to ensure they felt secure in every sense of the word.

Chara’s response was something, neither a laugh, nor a sob, but something in between. They shuddered, _“I don’t deserve the forgiveness, and I don’t forgive myself either.”_ Their breath came out shaky and weathered, _“This is what I meant Ree. Whether you like it or not, everyone who is close to me ends up dead. You, Sans, it makes no difference. I hurt those around me. I don’t deserve anyone near as kind as you are.”_

Asriel winced. They were talking about what they’d said when they were still alive, how they’d told him that nobody should afford to care about them, or they’d get hurt. It was funny how later he couldn’t even manage to care about anyone, no matter how hard he tried. That hurt more than caring about Chara and losing them had. Maybe he wasn’t a good enough friend.

A pair of warm hands ran down his head as his adoptive sibling nuzzled into his chest, _“You’re the best friend I could have wished for, Ree. Don’t you dare think otherwise, okay?”_ They were still crying, and tears were still running tracks down their face, but it was an improvement.

Asriel sighed. Whenever Chara had been like this while they were alive, the method he had to help them was always the same. To remind them of how much everyone cared about them. How much everyone loved them.

He didn’t exactly want to do this _now_ , but desperate times called for desperate measures.

He used his paw to lean them back, wrapping his arms underneath them and lifting them carefully up. He knew how to hold them comfortably. Even though they’d been in control, his arms had still picked up their body.

In honesty, at that stage, it was hard to tell who was in control anyway. It was only at the village, when they chose to fight and he just wanted to talk, that he knew he wasn’t in control of his own body, and fought to take it back.

Chara laughed a little, his arms felt strange underneath them, but they hadn’t ever been ticklish as far as they could remember. Maybe that was just one of the consequences of coming back after being dead for a hundred years.

They sighed sadly. They suspected that he was probably going through the memories of what they’d done with his body. Yet another way they’d messed up a perfect image – their brother.

Maybe they weren’t that different from the third one after all…

Still, they had to stop that, after all, they couldn’t let him just go on feeling all nervous and anxious, so they gave him a smile, _“Aw Ree, you don’t need to carry me like that.”_ Their voice sounded a little too high-pitched; after all, they were a little anxious too. Maybe telling him to put them down might offend him, or frighten him, especially if he was remembering a dead body…

Asriel laughed. This was like they’d been before all this. He liked it when they teased him like that. He liked it when they were happy. Really, he liked every version of them, even the sad ones, heck, even the angry ones! He loved Chara for what they were, his sibling; his best friend. He didn’t care if they made mistakes.

And besides, it was better that they were a person, like him, than that they were a pure and perfect angel. It made him a little less nervous when he had to talk to them or look at them, knowing that he wasn’t going to pale in comparison, like the prophecy had made it sound.

Chara leaned back in his hands. The way his fur brushed their skin tickling them, making them laugh a little. It was good to laugh, they hadn’t laughed in far too long. For the first time in forever, they felt safe. So they smiled, it felt natural, _“But if you insist, then at least take me somewhere.”_ They teased.

Asriel leaned down closer to them, he wasn’t sure why, but it felt like the right thing to do, “Where do you want to go, my dear?” He teased back. He could’ve sworn their semi-permanent blush stained just a little deeper, but it was hard to tell, after all, it was almost a permanent fixture on their face.

Chara smiled. His paws felt so soft against the muscles and bones that made up their back. They really just wanted him to hold them like this forever. It felt natural, it felt right… _It felt good._ They laughed a little. They could almost just forget that it wasn’t the time before they fell anymore, forget that they hadn’t gotten their brother killed.

They wrapped a hand around his back and pulled him forwards. He would have been fine, were it not for their weight in his arms, which caused him to lurch off his feet, sending the two of them tumbling to the ground and rolling over together until they came to a stop, lying next to each other, a giggling heap.

Chara laughed, wrapping an arm around their long-lost sibling. They couldn’t help but smile as they spoke. _“We should do this more often.”_ They teased, leaning perhaps a little closer than they should have, close enough to feel his breath on their neck and his shirt against theirs.

Their sibling, he chuckled. “Right, we should roll around on the floor more often, totally seems like a good idea.” He teased, noticing their close proximity. They were probably just being a little clingy. They hadn’t seen him in years, after all.

Laughing, Chara teased him back, _“We can do more of that now, you know?”_ Then they added, _“We’re already on the floor, if you want to wrestle.”_

The smile on their face was so devious. Like they knew they’d just teased him to _‘kingdom come’_ , so to speak. What they weren’t expecting was their best friend to comply, using the arms that were already wrapped around them and passive-aggressively pulling them close, sending the pair of them into another roll.

This time they came to a stop at the edge of a flower bed. Both giggling uncontrollably and both tussling with each other, but with no real heart put into either of their attempts.

Chara found themselves atop their sibling, and, brushing their hair, barely shoulder length, but still hair nevertheless, out of their eyes, they laughed, _“I wasn’t expecting you to take me up on that, you know.”_ Their hands were clasped around the soft fur of his shoulders, _“After all, we both knew you’d lose.”_

That was the worst part though. They were meant to be _the angel_ ; a champion for monster kind, and they hadn’t even been able to fight their own moving parts. It was pathetic. They shouldn’t even be feeling sorry for themself, because it was their failure that had cost them everyone anyway. They didn’t deserve sympathy, but maybe, given time, they might be able to forgive themself for what they’d done.

And what about Sans? Shouldn’t they be feeling intense pain about how he’d died to them? They felt nothing, and feeling nothing was far worse than even the worst pain imaginable. Was this what they’d put him through? Had they forced their best friend to endure this kind of existence, for years? What kind of person _were_ they anyways?

Definitely not an angel, that much was certain.

There was a booming voice behind them both, which caused both children to freeze up, and quickly separate.

“Ah, the joys of youth. I wish I could go back to being young, sometimes.”

Chara shuddered. Even now, Asgore still made their blood run cold. He was soft and friendly around those he loved, but what if he knew what they’d done, and blamed them for his son’s death… Maybe that’s why he’d announced war on humanity.

He turned round, but froze. He clearly had been planning to say something, but he’d lost all words the moment that he had.

“Chara, Asriel? Is it really you?”

Chara wanted so badly to say that yes, it was them, but what if they did and he blamed them for what happened? What if they did and he knew?

They just froze, unsure as to how to respond to what he was saying. If they hadn’t fallen down, everyone would be fine. Gaster wouldn’t have killed Sans, Sans wouldn’t have killed Papyrus. Asgore and Toriel would still be together. What kind of kid causes their own parents to break up anyway?

They were expecting a trident to the chest, or a burning agony to come up from their legs. Fitting deaths for a demon like themself. What they were not expecting, was a pair of soft, motherly paws to catch them from behind and hold them dearly against her chest, warming their soul with gentle magic.

Asgore clearly wasn’t expecting it either, because he looked like he was about to turn to dust from pure emotion.

“t-tori?”

He managed to get a single word out, before falling to his knees. He’d killed six humans – kids who just wanted to go home to their families, and all for nothing. The people he’d wanted to avenge were still alive, and many monsters just wanted to see the surface. They didn’t want human blood to be spilled, not really.

He’d been kidding himself, in honesty, telling himself that he had an obligation to kill the humans to free monsters. Really, he just wanted to avenge the deaths of his beloved son to the perils of the surface. Only now that the absence in his heart was filled did he see how much he’d lied, to himself, to others, about what he truly wanted.

It was a surprise that Toriel let him in, let him embrace their children once more. Perhaps it was because she could see that he, too, was in pain, that he, too was broken, affected by having lost his children, both, on the same day. But she let him in. She could forgive him, for what he’d done, because it was just as much her fault as it was his. She should have stayed with him, not left him to deal with his grief alone like she had.

It was a miracle to have them both back. A miracle she would never have imagined to be a possibility, if anything, it was a dream come true.

She’d always liked knitting. It was a habit that her child, her Chara, had picked up from her, so, perhaps, she could believe that one day, she would be able to stitch the broken mess that her family had become, back together.

In the midst of a sea of paws, Chara could only find relief. Mistakes were made. Nobody is perfect, after all, and everyone and anyone will always make a mistake at some point. What had defined them all was how they dealt with the consequences of their actions.

And what would come to decide who they would become would be how they learned from their mistakes, and what measures they took to ensure that the mistakes never happened again.


	44. Intermission 11: Once upon a timeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The climax is fast approaching.
> 
> Please, keep reading to the end.  
> If you've made it this far, you might as well finish the book anyway.

Intermission 11: Once upon a timeline

The void really was terrifyingly small, once you got used to it. So small, that it wouldn’t be hard to imagine hurting someone you cared about in an attempt to get out.

It was fine though, even if that was mostly because the object most central to Chara’s mind was golden flowers. Imagine if the void chose you and the object central to your mind was fire. That’d be terrifying, and probably also rather painful.

Given that, for Gaster, the object was pure darkness. He mustn’t have enjoyed his stay here.

Chara had never known a place so peaceful, so relaxing. It was really quite a relief to be able to wind down like that, to be able to tune out and just tend to some golden flowers. As if nothing had even happened; as if time had just wound back or something.

Granted, they missed their needles, their yarn, knitting altogether, really. But being in the void like this wasn’t so bad. After all, it was safe, tranquil, and wasn’t knitting just another way they’d tried to cope with everything. Another way that had failed just as inexplicably as gardening had.

The thing they missed the most, though, was Asriel. They missed his soft, warm paws around their chest, their neck. They missed his optimism. In a place like this, it was something they really needed, but didn’t have a lot of. After all, Chara was a pessimist. Always had been, always would be. They missed teasing him, and being his best friend.

But they’d had to do this. After all, if they hadn’t, Gaster would have taken control of the timeline. If they hadn’t, he would have gotten what he wanted. Of course, killing something that doesn’t exist doesn’t go so well for you. It erases you from existence. Not the nicest way to die. But not the most painful either.

It had been especially painful, but only because they’d had to say goodbye to their friends, knowing that they’d never see any of them ever again… Knowing that they’d never be able to cook with Undyne and Papyrus, that they’d never be able to hug their adoptive parents or their best friend, never be able to finish what they started with Sans. That was what had hurt them.

But they had resolved to stay optimistic, after all, if they let themself go, then they might end up hurting the very people they cared so much about.

There was a soft hand on their shoulder. They looked to their side to see Frisk. Frisk was a gem to this world. That was why they’d locked the ‘player’, the third party, out.

That was a decision that Gaster had used to hurt them later on. But they didn’t care. So long as the merciful, kind, soft human that would never, ever hurt anyone was safe. A human they would never have believed existed, then everything was okay.

“Come back, please. We all want you to be with us.”

They sighed and shook their head, _“I can’t Frisk. Don’t you get how the void works?”_ They winced. They didn’t know they were that stressed, but apparently they were, and it showed, _“Sorry. I just can’t bear the thought of having to lose you all again.”_

Frisk seemed to twitch at that thought. Then they moved in closer, pulling this rather menacing look. Chara had never seen a look like that on them before…

“Do you have any idea what I went through to get here, Chara?”

Chara froze. They hadn’t felt fear in a while, but they knew the feeling well enough to know when they were feeling it. They swallowed carefully. _“What did you do, Frisk?”_ Their voice was shaking and they moved backwards very slowly.

Frisk smiled, but the smile was nowhere near genuine, more like a so-called ‘creepy face’. It was terrifying, seeing it on them.

“Genocide. It hurt, but I had to, to see you again, I had to kill everyone.”

Chara inched back, they wanted to stop Frisk, but knew they couldn’t, they could feel it. How had they missed it? Wait, this wasn’t the same Frisk. The Frisk they remembered had smiled and made jokes, and was kind. So why would Frisk do this?

Had they really been gone for that long?

“And now, you act like you’re better, and don’t come back with me.”

There was a sudden crack as the knife rammed into their chest, and the fear Chara already had was justified in a single instant. They must have forgotten to check back, must have been so intently gardening that years, millennia had passed. They must have missed a slow, ungodly descent into madness.

Frisk sighed, their face back to normal again.

“I’ve made us a happy ending, where nobody will ever get hurt. I need you to come with me, to finish the family.”

Chara felt bile in their throat. Was this what everyone was to Frisk; collectors pieces? Was this just a game to them now?

Should they have just let Gaster kill everybody? Would it have really been much worse?

They gasped, managing to speak, but only just. _“Why? Why would you destroy it? I built us all a happy ending, I gave you that, and you just destroyed it.”_

Frisk laughed, but it didn’t really have all that much edge behind it.

“I didn’t destroy that. Somebody else did. I’ve simply just been ensuring that nobody ever destroys my happy ending again.”

Chara shuddered. This was their worst nightmare. The one thing they’d thought they’d stopped. The thing they’d thought they’d saved everyone from, it was happening again, and it was terrifying. They managed to speak again, even if the words caught in their throat with fear, and sorrow. _“What do you mean, Frisk. I hope you don’t mean what I think you mean.”_

Frisk leaned right up close.

“I destroyed their timeline, and it got me thinking… Why don’t I just destroy all the timelines; no more genocides. I thought you’d be proud of that.”

Chara felt a chill run up their spine. Their sins were crawling down their back all over again. Why was everything that went wrong always because of them? If they didn’t exist, everyone would be fine, right? But then, when they didn’t, the echoes of when they had existed had come to haunt them. _“I’m not proud of you killing people, Frisk._ **_Regardless of intention.”_**

Frisk sighed. Their eyes had tears in them, _real_ tears. They must have really wanted them to come back. It made Chara feel a little guilty. Frisk had done bad things, but they were trying to make everything better, for them.

“I thought you would have wanted this, you know? I thought I was following your dying wishes. But then again, I guess you died a long time ago…”

Chara felt a pain in their chest as the knife was pushed in deeper, then twisted, slowly, like it was intended to hurt them.

Frisk kept eye contact the whole time. Both now had tears in their eyes. Both were crying, and it hurt both of them to know that the universe had driven them to these extremes.

“I’ll see you again, right?”

Frisk looked incredibly conflicted. Like every second they wanted to pull the knife out, but also push it in. They couldn’t exactly do both, so they left it where it was and held Chara’s head in their hands.

Chara laughed a pained laugh, _“I won’t remember. I’ll make sure I erase my memory of you, of us.”_ Then they sighed, _“I’ll make it so that you come after me, only for me to think you’re crazy.”_ Then they smiled a last toothy grin. _“That’ll give you back every ounce of pain you just caused me.”_

Frisk cried out, they wanted to bring Chara back, not to kill them, but they were too good at killing. The only thing they knew now was killing people and controlling them. It was pathetic.

The golden flowers faded away into black and a pair of skeletal hands found a place on Frisk’s shoulders, and then a gravelly, static voice spoke out. “I can help you get your lover back. For a price, of course, but I can return them to you.”

Frisk turned, they tried to attack, but their attack just passed straight through their assailant. He smiled, “How do you kill something that doesn’t exist to be killed, anyway?” He moved in closer, boxing them in and forcing them right up to him. “You don’t.”

Frisk knew that there was no point in running. Besides, they didn’t have the emotional strength, or the energy to fight him anymore, anyway.

So they mustered up what little resolve they had left and spoke.

“What do you want?”

Gaster smiled, “The same thing you do… a happy ending, of course.” Then he laughed, “One where nobody gets hurt, and monsters can roam freely on the surface. Of course, we aim for separate endings. Yours, foolishly, with humanity, while mine, without. So, if you give me what I want, I’ll give you what you want.”

Frisk shuddered. Maybe they should have just let him win, way back when. Then they wouldn’t have done any of this. They might have even been alive to see the surface populated by monsters. Chara might have even been with them.

“Are you going to elaborate on that?”

Gaster creeped in a little closer, “Of course I will. Granted, you’ll probably refuse my proposal to fuse our plans, so that you can get yourself a first fallen human, and I can get my revenge, but give it a few timelines and I’m sure you’ll co-operate.”

He sighed, “You see, every timeline has a Chara, and they can be coaxed out by forcing a genocide run.” He moved in even closer, to the point where it would be uncomfortable… if he had an actual mass. He smiled, taking note of how his possible protégée was slinking away from him, “If we work together, you can get your Chara from that, while I get my revenge.”

Frisk laughed, they didn’t need Gaster to get Chara out in the open. No.  The only reason Gaster was talking to them, was that he wanted to trick them into letting him back in, into giving him a chance to attack like he’d done in the Alpha timeline, the only one they weren’t going to destroy.

“I don’t need you for any of that. This deal is over.”

Gaster smiled, rubbing his skeletal hands together. “I knew you’d say that.” His smile spread. He knew already that they wouldn’t succeed. If Chara set their mind to something, they’d be unstoppable. And Frisk wasn’t exactly one for subtlety. They were in love though. So who could blame them? “These next few timelines will be very, very interesting.”


	45. Chapter 32: Determination.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter before the climax.
> 
> If you need music for the goodbye at the end of the chapter, I could tell you to listen to [this amazing piece](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Zjf4Ujubjc)
> 
> Have fun. This is the last safe chapter. =D

Chapter 32: Determination.

Sitting behind the interrogation table, held by magic restraints, Gaster let out a small breath. His brow was furrowed. Not from worry or fear, but from deep thought.

He was torn. The greatest mind in monster history was torn.

The fallen human had shown themselves to be stronger than him, and better than him. They had refused to kill him even when he had tortured them; had their lover killed while they’d been forced to watch. It was as if they were _determined_ to make this hard for him.

And that left him uncertain. Did he truly wish to follow the plan anymore?

For so long, he’d believed he was manipulating Frisk into following his plan, but perhaps they’d been using him to further their agenda.

But he’d spent years planning this, years coming up with the perfect way to hurt them. It’s just, that he hadn’t expected them to already be in pain. Already be hurting.

But he’d be fine with that. Or at least, he would be if they hadn’t been merciful too. They hadn’t shown him mercy when they were both alive, but something had changed. Something had allowed them to hold back.

He wasn’t sure what it was, but it made him wonder if he really had all angles covered, or if it was going to be like it already had. If he was going to be hit by another curveball, all over again, swept off his feet and sent tumbling into a deeper abyss than the one he was already in.

He’d tried to rebuild after he’d lost _Aster_. He’d buried his grief under mounds of work, made his goal to make life in the underground better for everyone. That’s why he’d made the core. To help monsters build a good life, better even, than the one they’d had on the surface.

He would have stayed the course, were it not for one detail about the royal child sent to him, sent to him for aid fighting their inner demons, sent to him to deal with their evident and apparent pain; their self-loathing at being part of a race that had locked monsters underneath a mountain.

Their eyes – a demonic blood red, were the same as those that the person who had forced him to maim his beloved. A human far worse than even the soldiers, who killed thousands of monsters in the war, had been.

And in an instant, all that grief he’d felt, it had bubbled back up to the surface in the form of vengeful rage. The eyes of a single human child had corrupted him, and now, he wasn’t even sure if he’d been just in his cause.

That was why he was conflicted. Because, if he was going to get revenge, he’d have to cross a moral line, one he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to cross.

If he was going to get revenge against them, he’d have to hurt them, and he now knew they weren’t evil, not like the one he remembered. He now knew they were on the moral high ground. They’d refused to drive a knife through his chest. Surely, after that, he _owed_ them something?

Gaster sighed. He’d tried to convince himself that his grief-ridden outburst in the core was deliberate, because that’s what he did. He planned and adapted to every given situation.

But he had been kidding himself. It was genuine. His feelings had overwhelmed the box he’d kept them in for years. The guilt, the regret, the self-pity; it had all come out at once.

He wasn’t much different from them, and he was starting to wonder if he’d set the hellhounds loose on an innocent soul, a kindred spirit, who would have been willing to understand him, to forge peace, if he hadn’t pushed them to forge war.

Even the kindest, sweetest hearts can break and commit to violence. Asgore was a clear example of that.

He was starting to wonder if by pushing them again, as he’d been intending. By breaking them, he’d be destroying an angel who _believed_ they were a demon, and leaving only a demon who knew no more than to hurt and to kill.

The worst part by far, was that he knew that no matter what he did _now_ , he’d already hurt them so much that there was no way they would ever consider him a friend. There was no way they’d consider him anything but a foe.

He was really beginning to question if he was at a decision point as to whether to cross a moral line, or if he’d _made his choice long ago._

*          *          *

When the embrace finally ended, the dark presence in the corner of the throne room chose to make itself known to those within it.

>It’s good to see you again, Chara.

Time had been frozen, meaning that Asgore and Toriel would not respond by attacking, and neither would Asriel. The ‘third one’ could do that. Stop time to make it so that only they and the fallen human would talk.

The effect on Chara was immediate. They shrank back, shuddering a little. They looked at the ‘player’ with defiance in their eyes, but also great fear. Understandable, after what the ‘third one’ had done to them. They spoke, but their voice came back wobbly, timid, afraid, even so, they responded, _“What do you want?”_

>Merely to converse you somewhere outside the palace halls, the top of the Core, perhaps? After all, it is where you made first dust.

Chara shuddered. Were they really all that different? They had shared a body. Surely if Chara had truly wanted to stop it, then they could have, right? That must mean they wanted to kill too, deep down. They sighed, staring at the floor, _“Fine. Just give me some time to say goodbyes before I go.”_

>Then it is settled. Enjoy your family. You won’t have it for much longer.

When the darkness in the corner of the room retreated, Chara sighed sadly. What could it be planning to do to hurt them? It could be about to do anything. Who knows, maybe it was why they couldn’t reset, because it was the one that had held the ability all this time.

If it reset now, Chara didn’t know what they’d do with themself. They had everything they’d ever hoped for back. Their mistake had been fixed. Of course there’d be consequences, they wouldn’t have expected otherwise, but it felt wrong. If this was reset, their redemption – the fixing of their mistake… it’d all be gone, erased and lost to the great desert that was time.

They felt a pair of warm, gentle paws around their neck.  “Chara, are you okay? You look sad.” This was how Asriel always was, naïve, unassuming. He was too good for the world, too kind, too loving. He didn’t ever see the bad side of them, even when it was right there in front of him. Not until they wanted him to kill for them, anyway.

Chara regretted trying to make him kill. They’d been especially pained that week, with the guilt from killing Gaster running through them, and then the incident with the pie. They felt like maybe everyone here was going to get hurt if they stuck around.

They had felt they needed to die, but they wanted a purpose to it, one that would fill monsters with hope, rather than take it away, so they decided to try to break the barrier.

Of course they’d screw that up. Perhaps Gaster was right about them being a pathetic crybaby, more than Asriel, even. They just didn’t show it. When they cried, they tried to keep the tears locked up inside, which only made it worse when they finally came out, which they were doing, right now.

Asriel offered them a full shoulder to cry into. He shouldn’t have done that. They’d got him killed, after trying to force him to hurt people. He shouldn’t be nice to them like this. Didn’t he get it? When it came to them, it really always was, and always had been, kill or be killed. He shouldn’t be nice to someone who would only repay it with death, should he?

Asriel sighed sadly, “You’re doing that thing where you hate yourself again, aren’t you?” He let them wrap their arms heavily around his back and shoulders, let them hug him as tightly as they needed. He needed something to cry on too.

As Flowey, he’d done things just as terrible as they had, perhaps worse. They simply hadn’t been awake to see it. And now they were sending him wave after wave of guilt through the soul bond. That thought didn’t help either. It only made them realise how much of a screw-up they were. Perhaps more than they even thought.

They sighed, they’d even failed Sans, hadn’t they? He’d told them to keep their promise, but look at them now, failing to keep it in every sense of the matter.

_Sans had this odd mixture of soft and rigid, a soft touch, combined with rigid bones, a soft heart, but a hard body. It made him the perfect partner for Chara, who had a heavy touch, more physical strength than they wished they had, but a soft body. Rigid resolve, perhaps, determination. But also a soft and vulnerable heart like he had._

_The pleasure was coming from every faucet of their being all at once. Their back arching as his fingers trailed over their hips in perfect circles. They gasped for air, playing a little game with his tongue as their souls rubbed over each other’s smooth surface._

_They could feel his fear, his doubt. He was about to ask a serious question, but surely that didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy this while it lasted._

_They made a firm effort to try a new movement, twitching softly aside and rotating their hips a little. The simple movement causing the breath of both to hitch in their throat as indefinable, almost tangible, pleasure ran through every inch of their bodies._

_When he asked them, they knew what he’d done. He’d checked their stats. How he’d found time for it, they hadn’t the faintest, but then again, Sans had a habit of finding time where there was none. It made sense he expected them to betray him. They probably would, whether they wanted to, or not._

_They let their lips draw into a smile, their tongue still tussling with his as they gave a gentle, but breathy ‘mhm’, one they were sure he could feel based on how he tensed ever so slightly in their arms._

_Then he asked for their confidence. They liked that he was upfront. If he doubted them, he had full reason to. But he wouldn’t just let it simmer. He’d ask them for honesty. He’d confront them._

_It was good, that their partner wasn’t afraid to face them. After all, he knew he could kill them a hundred times over, and this time, he only had to do it once. Yet another way he was the perfect partner for them._

_They gave a faint smile, running a hand gently down the side of his cranium, looking into his eye sockets, the pinpricks of light displaying so much emotion in how they wavered and fluttered in and out, like the flame of a candle._

_“You know how much I love you, right?” They countered. It was true, how much they loved him. They hadn’t felt desire like this, ever, and it felt so good, having it fulfilled. Perhaps as a result of said desire, they slid their legs smoothly over his hips, biting back their own impulses to allow themselves to listen to his groan. “_ _I haven’t felt safe… full, hell, I haven’t even felt loved, in a long time.”_

_He looked both surprised and guilty. He shouldn’t feel guilty. He was asking a perfectly reasonable question to them._ _“no matter what happens. please, don’t ever hurt anyone again. if you were using me right now, i don’t know what i’d do.”_

_Chara gave a genuine, but gentle laugh, feeling nothing but love for him. They couldn’t hurt him, or betray him, even if they felt a need to, even if they wanted to. They loved him too much._

_Slowly, just enough to maintain the pleasure, but not enough to increase it, they ran their hips along his. Looking him in the eyes to ensure he understood their honesty, they spoke,_ _“I wouldn’t hurt anyone. I don’t think I could do that even if I tried. And I wouldn’t do that to you, anyway.”_

_Then they sighed, they didn’t exactly want to explain the nature of LV, but he’d asked for it, so they’d give him it, after all, they loved him. They wouldn’t deny him anything, even for chocolate._

_They pressed their arms either side of him, caging him in for later, then continued._ _“LV isn’t like they say it is. It hurts. The way you end up ‘gaining distance’ is by experiencing so much pain that you no longer feel it.”_

_They had so much they wanted to say to confess their love, but they also wanted to keep this quick, so they could get back to the pleasure they’d felt earlier. They continued, “But I guess I couldn’t ever forget any of you guys. No matter how much pain I felt, I remembered you. All of you.”_

_He looked content with that response, and then, taking them completely off guard, he pulled them right back in. This caused their hips, which were currently at the top of a motion, to cut straight across the centre, eliciting an uncontrollable, lustful moan._

_They smiled a little. He knew just how to handle them, didn’t he? Then they pivoted forwards, taking him off guard too, letting their nose run smoothly against the sides of his skull as they reasserted dominance in the battlefield that was his mouth. They weren’t kidding earlier. They wouldn’t trade this for the universe._

Chara sighed, their breath was a little loose, shuddering a little. They should’ve expected to feel a little pain after what happened. But they had kept their promise. They hadn’t killed Gaster, and they hadn’t gained any EXP or LV (not that they could, they were already at the maximum).

It didn’t matter anymore, anyway. They still felt love, just thinking about him, even though he was gone. So they were glad to be able to relive the moment they’d been the most happy they’d been in all their life.

Chara smiled slightly, _“No. It’s just that… The one who made me kill, they want to meet me. I think they’re planning on hurting you guys while I’m gone.”_ They sighed, _“I don’t want to let go, but I know I’ll have to.”_

Asriel cupped their head against his shoulder, “You don’t have to until you’re ready to, Chara. You can hug me for as long as you want. I’ll always be there for you.”

Chara gave a weak smile, _“Please, don’t underestimate them. If you can, get the entire royal guard here.”_ Then they shuddered, feeling tears eeking their way out between their eyes.

This was the same feeling as that day, the day they’d decided to poison themself. The apprehension, the fear, and the knowledge that they were making a leap of faith, and once they left, there was no going back. That if they missed, they’d encounter the same old problem as before. It was all the same.

They could practically feel the buttercups burning the back of their throat. The agony as their diarrhoea came out bloody and their stomach churned, making them want to scream and cry and vomit all at once.

It wasn’t a nice way to die. In fact, even after being killed in a thousand different ways. That had to have been the worst by far.

They sighed, they hoped this didn’t go the same way as that had. If it did, they weren’t sure they’d be able to recover from losing everything again.

But there was another level. A fear, a deep-rooted terror that made every inch of their being want to run and hide in a corner and cry. It felt familiar, because they’d felt it before too.

Just before their fight with Sans, at the entrance to the golden halls. Knowing they’d have to kill someone again. Not quite knowing how they knew, but knowing that they knew full well that they were about to have to kill someone, but also that, to kill them, they’d have to go through hell.

To die and die and scream and beg as bones tore through them over and over until the attempts all started to blur into one, until the phantom blood on their skin, the non-existent holes in their torso and their body were everywhere and all that they felt was fear and pain.

He wasn’t right to fight the anomaly. He should’ve stopped them from gaining their power by heading to the king and forcefully taking the souls.

As a God, they wouldn’t have stood a chance against him.

They sighed. There was only one thing to describe the feeling they felt, only one word to explain the sickening, maddening feeling in their gut.

_Determination._


	46. Intermission 12: Bound to fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now to begin the climax. =D
> 
> For the first half of the chapter, try [this amazing piece](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUJLsJwajqk)  
> For the second half, try [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UeA9Nus9Eg)

Intermission 12: Bound to fall

Gaster sighed as footsteps approached the door. If it wasn’t time yet, then the time was fast approaching. The room had no clocks, so he couldn’t tell. But if he’d been taken in, he only had to wait a few hours. A day at most, before it all fell into place.

He felt a gust of air as the door opened; a gust that carried a thin layer of dust. That meant only one thing. It was time to make his choice. Did he want to die, or did he want to hurt an innocent for the greater good.

Whatever happened now, a glass vase – an object of beauty, would be destroyed, and the broken pieces, the fragments, would have to be clipped back together. He was a problem; a loose cannon to Frisk. They wanted him out of the way, eliminated. So they’d send someone to kill him.

It was his opportunity to escape. But he didn’t want to escape, because if he did, he’d have to carry out his plan, and he wasn’t sure if it was the right to do anymore.

He felt the end of a blade – a sword – pressed to the inside of his throat. And he sighed sadly. “Ah. I see.” He looked down into the table before him, resigned.  “Then I leave this up to you…”

As the red cloak swung aside, the figure to which it belonged forcing him up to his feet and slipping round before him, he continued. “I’ve been hit by enough curveballs in my time, to know what one looks like. Even so, it is saddening, knowing that it is you who will do this.”

He looked into the eyes of his killer. They seemed cold, unwavering in resolve. Evidently he wasn’t succeeding in swaying them. “I’m going to guess that your friends haven’t seen the signs.” He felt something deep inside his soul, was it regret? That he hadn’t had an opportunity to say sorry? He continued, “That you are no longer of the royal guard, but something else entirely.”

He laughed dryly. It should have been obvious, but they were all blind. All except for him, and who would believe him? He was a prisoner, he was the enemy. “You disappear from your station for days on end. You return with knowledge you should not have, in detail you are not worthy to possess.” He felt the blade against his neck. Not yet. He wasn’t ready yet. “Furthermore, you disobey direct orders from your captain.”

He felt the blade draw a little closer. “So you’re here to kill me, correct?” He sighed. He should have seen it earlier. How could she have gotten through the perimeter, how could she have bypassed his army, when they proved capable of killing Sans without hitch? He shuddered, “To tie up a loose end, for them?”

“What will you do? I’ve already lost everything, everyone, I loved, through a meaningless, in the end, fruitless pursuit.” His voice wavered from the emotion he was experiencing. This was just like the death of his wife. He’d begged them to just kill him, but they’d refused. All this time, he’d hoped he was denying their wishes, but what if he was wrong? He sighed, “So please, will you end this broken man, or will you let him live on?”

“Neither decision would be a mercy, not anymore.” He shuddered, he hated humans, but he’d never expected, never even imagined a traitor within his own ranks, “Allow me to promise you that, should I live, the first thing I’ll do, is destroy the hollow friendships you have built, burn it all to the ground.”

“However, should I die; you’ll have to live with the reality that you have the dust of an innocent on your blade.” He pressed himself against the table, prepared; resigned for the killing blow. “And the knowledge, that one day, you, too, will be nothing more than a loose end for somebody else to tie up.”

He smiled, “Amusing is it not? I made my life’s goal to help monster kind make peace with this prison, but all I’ve done is hurt them, all I’ve done is prolong their stay, and made it far more miserable.” He shuddered. If he was going to be killed, he deserved what was coming his way.

He sighed, “Please, tell me how they got to you? Was it your past, your beliefs?”  No luck on the first two guesses, “Was it your parents?” His attacker flinched. Yes. It must have been. “I knew them well. They were good people, and they would not want this for you.” He was held, heavily against the table.

Gaster sighed. At least he had time to make peace with this. At least he had the opportunity to make peace with what was coming his way. He shuddered, and then spoke, “Very well then.” The blade was cold against his throat, “Just please. Make it quick.” Then he frowned, preparing his magic. He’d used the blade to sever one of his restraints while he talked. “And remember. There is no going back.”

What was coming was not death, but a fate far worse. He could not be redeemed. At least Fallen, Flowey, and even Frisk had that. He was never included in that. He did not have the opportunity to repent. Frisk had made sure that even if he escaped, it was too late for him.

They were using him. He understood that now. They were making it so he only had one choice, but they underestimated choice. They always did, and always had. People had choice much larger than the small lanes they believed in. He knew because he’d been there in every timeline.

Only he’d tried to turn them for his needs, so he hadn’t told them that, and now, it was coming back to bite him, to force him to play the villain.

But he knew that, if he carried out his plan successfully, he could turn it against them and destroy their perfect ending.

They’d been planning the same for him. That much was very apparent now.

He knew well enough the suffering Red had gone through. She couldn’t have known he’d watched the results of his demise. That’s what had turned him against Fallen. Because he believed they had made him cause so many people pain. And then they went through and killed everyone he loved, over and over, time after time after time.

That was what had broken him for good.

Only now did he realise he was wrong. And now, he was going to have to cause people even more pain to fix his mistake. Was this his destiny? To hurt people even when he tried to help them?

Perhaps he was the _real_ demon. After all, a demon is something that hides in a shadow, that cannot be killed or defeated, but guides others down a dark and dangerous path. Perhaps he was not a fallen angel, but he was close enough.

And what better to be a demon than someone who doesn’t even exist?

The bones tore through the floor, causing Red to cry out as they passed through her in an instant, her blade clattering, having been moments from his neck.

He looked into her eyes and saw only betrayal. So he sighed. He couldn’t bring himself to apologize in a situation where it was kill or be killed. So he just left, walking out through the dust and the desolation. It felt familiar. Because it was just like it had been last time around.

He had always been bound to fall. He’d been falling over and over, his wife, the fallen human, the core, his plan’s failure, the death of his sons over and over, and now this. Did he know anything other than pain? Perhaps he did.

But knowing something other than hurt makes it all the worst when it comes.

*          *          *

The Core, this was where it had all begun. Chara shuddered, stepping out into the neon lighting, lighting that made their green sweater more of a turquoise in colour and their red hair appear closer to brown.

>Glad to see you could make it.

Chara turned, prepared to swing a blade into the chest of an attacker. Prepared to grasp their limb and tear it off if that became necessary, if they needed to do so to stop it from being used to hurt their family, to slaughter their friends. They didn’t expect the darkness that they’d merely known as the ‘third one’ to part, revealing a pair of almond brown shorts.

And then part again, to reveal a green sweater, split by a single yellow stripe across the middle. Above which sat a pair of gleaming red eyes. But eyes that did not gleam with pride, but anxiety, fear. They froze. _“Wha… How?”_

 _“Listen, we do not have much time.”_ That was the voice from their dream, the one that had showed them the beauty of bringing a world back from death, the one that had renewed their hopes when they were at their lowest, the one that had stopped them from killing themself.

Chara shuddered, _“You?”_ Their face contorted with anger. That ‘watcher’ had forced them to kill everyone, claiming a noble path. _“It was you all along?”_

 _“No. Can you imagine yourself doing that? Because that’s what I am – I am another version of you. The first you the multiverse ever had the ‘pleasure’ of knowing.”_ Only now did Chara realise what they meant.

 _“Listen, please...”_ There was a silence, in which the ‘third one’, the other Chara, moved a little closer, apprehensively, but closer all the same. In the full light, it now became clear that they had a gash – a knife mark, down their chest. _“Frisk isn’t who you think they are. They have a noble end, but they let it justify whatever means they deem necessary, including killing.”_

They sighed, looking at the ground. _“After I was lost to the void, Frisk spiralled out of control, I didn’t realise until it was too late that they’d turned violent without me, without anyone, to help them through their grief.”_ They shuddered, _“I should have talked to them, but I was too scared to do it. I couldn’t muster up the courage to help them when they needed me the most.”_

The other Chara looked around, then continued, _“Then they killed me, or tried to. But you can’t exactly kill something that doesn’t exist.”_ They made a sour smile, bitter, closer to a grimace, _“I’ve been trying to stop them by destroying timelines before they get what they want. By ‘killing’ me, you create a paradox and remove your timeline.”_

A tear ran a track down their face, _“But now, they’ve got it. This is the last timeline. I destroy this, and they win anyway. I don’t, and they get you, then do it for themselves.”_ They took in a shaky breath, _“I need you to fight them. They’ll try to convince you they’re on your side, but then-”_

 _“Don’t get me wrong, but I know myself well enough to know I lie, often. I don’t trust a version of me from another universe who made me kill everyone as much as Frisk.”_ They interrupted, looking the other Chara in the eye, expecting betrayal or anger, perhaps frustration, surprise, or fear, but instead, they only found resignation. They sighed, _“I know them, at least.”_

 _“I understand. It’s hard to tell who is who when you all share a body. And I might have hurt you a little too much in Waterfall.”_ They gave a rather mirthless laugh, _“I needed you to stay closed off, and the only way I could do that was by showing you I was still a threat.”_

Chara felt tears running down this face. _“All this time I told myself I was nothing like the ‘third one’, that I wasn’t them, so I couldn’t have done what they did, and now I don’t even have that, because another version of me **is** them!” _ They drew in a shaky breath, _“How am I meant to live with the dust?”_

The other Chara sighed, raising their hands and taking a step back, _“I know the feeling, and I’m sorry you had to go through it too.”_ That expression, it was as if they were telling the truth. _“But I’ve tried everything else again and again in hundreds of timelines, and Frisk has won in every single one.”_ They looked like they were going to cry. _“I didn’t want to hurt you… to hurt myself, but I needed to, to stop them from destroying every timeline in the multiverse except the one I came from.”_

Chara raised their knife, _“Listen, I don’t know what game you’re playing, trying to weaken me, to win back control so you can betray me, kill everyone when I don’t expect it, but it’s not working.”_

A pained laugh, _“You think I’m trying to manipulate you, take control? I could’ve done that earlier.”_ The other took a step back. _“I could’ve done that in Waterfall, if I wanted control.”_ Then they sighed, _“But think, please. Hasn’t Frisk been awfully quiet recently, and-”_

The blade was shunted through the other one’s chest, and emerged out the other side with a sickening wet sound.

It hurts, watching yourself die. More than you would imagine, because that’s you, the life going out of your eyes, your legs crumpling underneath you as your soul shatters and your lifeless body collapses, cold, to the ground.

Chara wanted to cry out as their doppelganger gasped, the blade being retracted slowly, painfully as they pressed a hand to their chest. They looked surprised, but also resigned. Almost happy, as if they’d been trapped in a never-ending nightmare and were thankful it was finally over.

The ‘third one’ gave one last smile and spoke in a weak, croaking voice. _“I’m sorry, for everything.”_ Then their legs went, and they collapsed to the floor.

Chara wanted to scream. That was _them_ they had just been killed.

Frisk stepped a little closer, then stopped, “They were going to take control again. Going to kill you, I’m sorry you had to watch yourself die, but if I hadn’t have stopped them, it would have been last time all over again.”

Chara shuddered as Frisk moved even closer, wrapping their arms around them in a soft hug. Their hands were so cold. It was unreal.

Frisk smiled, lolling their head to the side a little. “Take my hand for a moment. Please." They requested, holding their hand open, inviting Chara to take it. And Chara wanted to, so badly. They wanted to take Frisks hand and find some comfort in the moment, but something was nagging at their conscience.

Frisk had reset this without explanation when Chara refused to kill the ‘third one’, merely blocking their view. Then told them it was to prevent the player from gaining control, because they could only control Frisk. But waterfall proved otherwise, didn’t it?

“Take my hand, Chara.” Frisk was still smiling, and only now did Chara notice the lack of wrinkles around their eyes, the way it felt forced, fake. They shuddered, retracting their hand.

Who was Gaster’s protégée, anyway? If they ‘lacked mystery’, that must mean they were someone Chara knew, or at least, Gaster thought they knew. And Frisk had never been around when Gaster had been nearby, and had only spoken when spoken to, or forced to speak. Something about this felt incredibly wrong. Was the other version of them telling the truth?

“Please. Take my hand. I promise you won’t regret it.” Something about that promise felt like a lie.

Chara felt a realisation hit them when they thought about how eagerly Frisk had insisted they took part in the killing last time. It was like they enjoyed it, or at least didn’t care, which wasn’t right, if they were just a child who had fallen down into the underground. And then there were the small memories, dreams of past lives. And the unexplained nature of their attraction to Sans.

Chara shuddered. There was only one explanation, and it explained why they had been unable to reset, too, because _they_ didn’t have the ability. _Frisk did_.

They sighed, _“Frisk, answer me honestly.”_ Then there was a pause as they took in breath, Frisks gaze felt a little too fiery, a little too strong, _“How many times have we done this Frisk? I feel like I’ve been here with you before.”_

Frisk responded quickly, far too quickly, like it was a rehearsed lie. “Once.”

Chara shuddered, _“I said be honest, Frisk!”_ They yelled.

Frisk sighed, “I didn’t want to hurt you like this, but you’ve left me no choice here. Just remember, the dust of your family, your friends. It’s all on your hands, Chara.”

Then they smiled, taking a step back, drawing their blade, “What? You didn’t think that the monsters disappearing across the underground was a coincidence, did you?” They spread their arms, wide.

Frisk sighed, looking off to the side in a way that made them almost look like a child again. “It didn’t take much convincing to build an army. They all hated you once they remembered what you did.”

There was a pause. “And because Gaster’s going to kill everyone you love anyway, you might as well come with me. There’s a lovely, perfect happy ending waiting for you, you know?” They smiled, and yet again, Chara wanted to come with them. To live in a universe where they were a hero, rather than hated, a demon. That would be a dream for them.

But then, they didn’t want to have to lie again. They didn’t want to have to pretend that they were a good person, when they so clearly were not. And if they went, Frisk would destroy all the other timelines. Kill monster kind over and over. No. They couldn’t bear that amount of dust on their hands.

They looked Frisk in the eyes, drawing their own weapon with a shaky hand. _“No.”_ Then they shuddered. The words were so hard to find right now. They felt betrayal, but also regret. Something about this, it felt as if they were betraying Frisk, not the other way around. _“I can’t come with you.”_

They sighed sadly, they had a happy ending. How couldn’t they have expected something to come and bring it all _falling down_?


	47. Chapter 33: Requiem of the night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And with that, the climax begins!
> 
> (Have fun with this chapter. Warning for major character death here).
> 
> If you want music to make it hurt even more, how about [this piece here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9NpkFmiyCk)

Chapter 33: Requiem of the night.

“What was that?” Frisk looked furious, incredulous that they had been denied. “Did you just say ‘No’?” They smiled, “Surely I must have misheard you. You can’t be opting to stay here. This timeline is doomed. Don’t you get that?”

Gaster took his steps along the walkway with precision, care, he didn’t want to be recaptured, and he didn’t need to be slowed down in a fight. He rarely would imagine this to be the case, but, right now, time was of the essence.

They sighed, “Gaster has been planning this from the very start. He pulled back his followers, getting them to instead recruit people.” They took a step closer. “You didn’t think that the monsters vanishing left and right was a coincidence, did you?”

His followers were about to strike, full force, as he’d built them up. The royal guard wouldn’t stand a chance. First, of course, he needed to get to the souls. So he could finally get his revenge. What he needed to rebuilt his shattered life.

Frisk shuddered, “He let you capture him in the core, but only after hurting you to make it look genuine.” They laughed mirthlessly, “Why? Because when you caught him, you’d take him right under the palace to a cell. _Right under the souls_.”

Admittedly, his cell was a little bit of an inconvenience. It meant he had to walk all the way through the courtyard to get to the final corridors, but beggars can’t be choosers at times like these.

They breathed out a long slow breath, “Don’t you get it? He’s played you. He’s now going to kill everyone you love. The only way to fix this is to destroy this, admittedly, pointless world, and come with me.” They took in another, “Come with me to a happy ending. _Please._ ”

He materialised a bone, clasping it in his hand, and a blaster, which followed him with obedience. He’d expected this, to be put in a cell. His attempted assassination was no doubt Frisk’s trying to stop his plan. Which meant it was time to move, because the plan was about to fall into place.

Chara shuddered, had they really been manipulated for so long in the running? Had Gaster planned it all from the beginning? Intended to crush them now by taking away their salvation, when it was right within their grasp?

They watched as Frisk smiled, “And who do you think convinced the ‘player’ to ‘show monsters the true evils of humanity?’”

Frisk sighed, grasping the handle of their blade, pacing back and forth with anxiety, “Don’t you get it? The only way out of this situation is to come with me to our happy ending. Staying here means that we’re all going to die.”

Chara sighed, _“No. I still can’t come with you. I don’t want to have to lie to everyone again. I’m not the Chara they’re waiting for. The Chara they’re waiting for is dead.”_ They shuddered, _“Dead, because you killed them.”_

Frisk stood their ground, in fact, they strode forwards, “How selfish can you be, Chara? I just offered you a happy ending, a way out, and you turned me down because… because you don’t like me?” They drew their blade, “Don’t you get that you’re going to die here if you don’t come with me?”

Chara sighed, was Frisk right? Were they just being selfish? Was the reason they were refusing because they didn’t like Frisk? No. They were the hopes and dreams of monster kind. If they gave up, who would hold the hopes of this world? Who would stand strong against all adversity? This was what they were meant to be. Resisting felt _right_.

They drew their own weapon, slowly, carefully. This felt so familiar. Perhaps that was because this was where they first drew their weapon all that time ago. They shuddered, _“I’m sorry, but I can’t come with you. Not because I don’t like you, but because coming with you wouldn’t be the right thing to do.”_

Frisk’s brow furrowed, not with anger or rage, more with deep thought, and a little concern. After a short pause, they replied, “ **Fine.** I guess I’ll have to make you come with me, then.”

They leapt forwards at the same time that the armies of Gaster clashed blades with the royal guard.

In the midst of the battle, Undyne stood, fighting. Her eye was narrowed with deep confusion, and for the first time in a long time, she had to admit. She felt _scared_. Something deep within her felt that this was a battle she couldn’t win.

Blade met blade as Undyne’s spear blocked a bone aimed at her stomach.

Frisk looked Chara in the face, smiling, “Remember, all the dust that happens because of this _is on your hands._ ” They used the distraction to twist Chara’s blade up, forcing it away to the side and then using their other hand to land a firm punch in the stomach.

Undyne parried against the bone, knocking it back and up, summoning another spear to keep it at bay while she parried a sword aimed at her from behind. It was clear now. Her guard, they were woefully outnumbered. This had been an army built from hundreds, thousands of monsters… numbers that didn’t even _exist_.

Chara reeled back, gagging, barely able to parry Frisk’s next strike, this one aimed at their neck. Frisk laughed, “You’re not kidding about them dying. You really are nothing like them. You can’t even fight. And your friends, who can, where are they now?” They landed a knee between Chara’s legs, then a fist into their jaw, leaving Chara to stumble backwards, “You called out for help. **_But nobody came._** ”

Undyne felt a blade brush inches to the right of her scales. She’d been lucky. Her spear was knocked aside by a bone as she focused all of her minds energy on keeping the bones that were emerging from the ground beside her down with a rain of spears. It was exhausting, and she was alone.

Chara felt a blade driving towards them, and dodged aside, only to be grabbed by an outstretched hand, and swung round, rammed face-first into a wall. “Don’t you see? You can’t rely on any of these people. They don’t care about you. They say they do, but deep down, we both know that’s not the truth.”

Undyne saw a glimpse of a skeleton through the fighting legions. The figure walked out onto the balcony. Was that? No. It couldn’t be. But it was. _Gaster was free._

Gaster stepped out onto the balcony. Just another stairway and he’d be in the final corridor. He looked down. Oh. He’d been spotted. How amusing. He threw Undyne a playful salute, and then proceeded to his destination.

Frisk laughed as Chara peeled themselves away from the wall, lunging again, missing by a long shot, receiving a fist to the stomach and a knee to the face for their efforts.

Frisk sighed, spreading their arms and pressing a shoe against their fallen rival’s injured chest, “Don’t you get it? You can’t win this battle. The chips are already down. Come with me, so I can destroy this world before Gaster is able to take it.”

Undyne desperately fought her way back, parrying the sword-holding monster to the side to make a run for Gaster. She had to stop him. He was the enemy of everyone’s hopes and dreams.

Chara pushed the foot off, rolling away from a blade strike which slammed into the floor where their chest had been. They leapt to their feet, clutching their weapon and lunging forwards again.

This time, they saw Frisk’s waiting fist, and twisted out of the way, swinging their blade. They stood a chance.

Forcing one of the followers down with a well-aimed spear, Undyne parried a sword aimed at her side. There were too many of them to fight. She couldn’t block them all. She decided, as a stray magic attack from far afield slammed into her shoulder, causing her to cry out. A sword swung forwards, narrowly missing her as she ducked.

Spotting the distant light of the door to the castle, Undyne’s eye widened. There was an opening, a way out! She sprinted for it.

Frisk blocked their blade, squeezing their hand between their fingers so hard that Chara couldn’t help but yell out in agony, curse from the sheer pain. It hurt so much, having your hand crushed. They laughed a little, driving their fist into Chara’s chest again and again. There was no chance now.

As Undyne ran, she released her spears. All of them.

Frisk sighed, “Don’t you see? Your friends are all going to die. The only difference your choice is making.” They spread their arms, conjuring up a magic image, feeling some joy as they watched realisation and fear grace Chara’s face, “Is _it is forcing you to watch them die._ ”

The bones, formerly held back by her spears, shot forwards.

Frisk smiled a devious smile. They knew they’d won now. They knew that there was no conceivable way this could be stopped. They knew as they watched Chara writhe in deep emotional agony, struggle, beg as tears ran down their face. This was the way this cruel world worked, and the _only_ way to make things better, is to force it to work with you. They smiled,  “Starting with _her_ , and ending with your best friend.”

The bones punctured Undyne’s back, causing her to let out a choked gasp, the gap closing before her eyes as they emerged through her chest. She tried to raise her weapon, to parry.

Frisk laughed, “This is how things were going to end, Chara. You need to understand that. You were going to lose everyone in this timeline. I was offering you a way out, but you declined.” They sighed, “Her dust is _your fault._ ”

A sword drove through her back, coming out of her stomach, causing her to yell in agony. This was followed by another bone, brandished by an attacker before her. She tried to parry, but they just brushed her weapon aside and drove it into her chest.

Frisk sighed, seeing the pain of the individual at their feet, “What _exactly_ did you expect from this? A heroic victory? Pol-ease.” They laughed a pained laugh,  “Gaster has been planning this for hundreds, thousands of timelines. He’s not exactly just going to let _Undyne_ _the Undying_ get in his way.”

But not before she saw their eyes. Not before she saw who was brandishing the weapon, the small eyelights with just a hint of blue, height, shorter than her, but only just barely. Their delirious smile as they drove it through her. As if she somehow wasn’t real to them anymore.

She gasped. She had to save her kingdom, her friends, the monsters she had to… Oh, who was she kidding? She hadn’t stood a chance from the moment she’d stepped out here. Gaster had planned this out too well for that.

 _Undyne the Undying_ turned to dust, dust that spread, a cloud of painful ash, over the floor of the courtyard, and was desecrated, trampled beneath hundreds of boots, lost in an instant. And somewhere else, a human, weakened by an equally hopeless battle, cried out in agony.


	48. Intermission 13: Friendly fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to guess you've figured out why there are exactly _13_ intermissions now.  
>  (Yeah, I'm a superstitious trash. You'd think that'd be obvious for the writer of a piece of fiction entitled 'The Fall of an Angel' though)
> 
> Anyway, if you want to make this even more emotional than it is, you could always listen to [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zVKUOsUgMQ)

Intermission 13: Friendly fire

Chara wanted to cry out, but had no air left to do it.

That was Undyne. Surely the strongest of their friends, just killed in a single instant. A single blow and she was dead. What chance did Asgore have? He was surely too nice to fight. And Toriel, Asriel? They couldn’t hurt a fly even if they wanted to.

Frisk sighed, “I’m sorry you had to see that. I just need you to come with me. I need you to come home with me.” They looked down at the floor. Their gaze clearly littered with shame.

“Once you sacrificed yourself, I thought I could finally have a happy ending, but then, over time, it became more and more apparent that… That the others, your family, saw me not as Frisk, but as a replacement, a fake Chara.” They sighed sadly, “I needed to find you again, so I reset.”

They let out a pained laugh, “I tried to find you over and over, but each time, you weren’t there.” They sighed, “We both know where you were. How I found you in the end. The same way I did this time.”

Chara shuddered, feeling pain, guilt in the back of their throat. _“You were a good person, once, weren’t you? I just made it so you had no choice but to kill everyone. It broke you, didn’t it? That’s why I… That’s why the other me couldn’t bring themself to hurt you, because it was their fault you were like this.”_

Frisk smiled, “Exactly.” They sighed, “I regretted that soon enough, realising that I’d rendered my humanity asunder. That I’d left myself a killer, a walking corpse, in an effort to chase a ghost that would never follow me home.” Their voice quivered a little, “But I can fix that, by making it so that no other version of me makes a horrible decision like that ever again.”

Chara sighed, giving a mirthless laugh. It finally made sense, finally, they understood why Frisk was doing this; they were doing it to redeem themselves. Not unlike how they were putting their family back together and going through the underground for redemption. They sighed, _“By removing all other versions of you from reality.”_ They sighed, that’s what Frisk had done all this for? That’s why Frisk had hurt them, killed their friends; helped Gaster. It was all to redeem themself. To feel better about what they’d done.

Frisk sighed, “I know, it’s not exactly the best plan, but it means there won’t ever be a genocide run. It means that monsters will be on the surface, where they belong, and they’ll never end up back in the underground. They’ll never be slaughtered by me, or by you.” They spread their arms, “I’m going to set monsters free, for good, forever. Is that not a good thing?”

Chara shuddered, rising to their feet, _“No, Frisk. You’re not an angel, a demon, or a god. Neither of us are. We need to stop thinking like that. Because the truth, is that we’re people, humans, who have played God for far too long now.”_ They let out a long, shaky breath, _“We need to take a step back, before our grandeur destroys us.”_

Frisk laughed, pained, “No. We’re not Gods, or Angels, or Demons, but I am doing the right thing. I am ending the cycle of birth and rebirth, death and destruction. I am cutting away the infection that is spreading across the multiverse like a disease.” They sighed, “Don’t you see? I’m the only thing that is keeping the multiverse clean. The only one willing to do what must be done to ensure that the happy endings we build are preserved.”

Chara felt swayed, perhaps they should listen, after all, Frisk did have a point, but then, they couldn’t. They couldn’t have dust on their hands again, couldn’t let that happen. _“No Frisk, what you are doing is taking away choice.”_ They sighed, _“You are taking away the ability to choose, and what would life be without choice?”_ They sighed, _“Is a life without choice even worth living?”_

Frisk seemed taken aback as they continued, _“I may not be a Demon, but if you were an Angel, or a God, I would gladly take the role, if only just to denounce the nihilistic belief that universes must be destroyed, lives must be lost, just to save a single timeline.”_ They sighed, _“Frisk. You are taking away lives of other people, to save single versions of themselves that you have elected to be spared. If that is not playing God, then I don’t know what is.”_

They sighed, they could feel the memories, the guilt, upon realising what Frisk had done, the heartbreak, upon realising that it was all being done for them, the frustration, realising that no matter what they said, Frisk would never listen. Their soul had split across each and every timeline, separated across the multiverse. But now that their original self and the current version, in the last timeline, had been united, they were finally full again.

Chara sighed, _“I am the culmination of the echoes you have met, each version of me, compiled into the fullest version of myself.”_ They smiled a little, seeing the fear in Frisks eyes, after all they had been through, all they now felt, knowing, remembering each time, it was a little satisfying. _“I know now that this is the last timeline left, before you’ve destroyed them all, and Frisk. If you want to destroy this timeline, I can say one thing to you with absolute certainty.”_

_“You’re going to have to try a little harder than that.”_

They were ready to die for this world, not only because this was the last one, but because it was their duty. Frisk was a mistake of theirs, so if they didn’t take care of it, then who could. _Who would_?

Frisk sighed sadly, they had hoped it wouldn’t come down to this, for the first few timelines, anyway, but it always did. Chara always turned them down, and then they took a stand. But something about this Chara felt different. Perhaps it was because it was the last one, or perhaps, it was something else.

Perhaps, it was because this was the first one who might stand a chance against them.

Frisk gave a weak smile, holding their weapon, “Any last words?” Their voice quivered, because they really didn’t want it to end like this. They didn’t want to never have Chara back, but it was going to be that way. They understood that now.

They had been chasing a ghost, and now it was time to let go.

Chara responded with a pained laugh, _“Well, I would tell my brother how much I love him, but he already knows.”_ They sighed sadly, looking down at the floor.

Both of them knew that they couldn’t back down. They couldn’t let the other get their way. Frisk, because they’d already followed their cause too far. They had to _stay determined_. Chara, because they knew that if they didn’t, they’d be failing everyone again. And they didn’t have the heart to let everyone get hurt like that because of them. Not after what happened with Asriel.

But neither really wanted to fight the other. They both knew they were friends once. Both knew that they had been close enough to be siblings. Both knew the other’s pain.

And that was what made it so hard. Because they both knew that, should they win, they’d have to live with the blood of their friend on their hands, and the knowledge that it could have gone another way, had they just perhaps talked it out a little more.

Frisk laughed mirthlessly, “You got that one right. He’d take you over me any day.” They sighed, holding back the tears, the guilt, and the regret. For this goal, they would put it all aside. Forming a blade in their hands, they stood firm.

As a skeletal figure stepped out into the light of a beautiful garden, a garden being watered by a peaceful goat king, a king with a golden yellow beard, and an intimidating weapon, but a soft heart, both stood.

As an army of darkness broke through the doors and entered the royal palace, the dust of a great hero trampled underfoot as they went, both stood.

Both stood for as long as they could manage, because neither wanted to face the reality that they were here, and now it was time.

_It was time for the angel to confront the demon._


	49. Chapter 34: Darkest days.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the penultimate chapter.  
> If you like, it is this work's _darkest hour_.
> 
> If you need something to listen to to make this more impactful, I've got a lovely piece [right here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t3TS1JX2zY)

Chapter 34: Darkest days.

Chara sighed, stepping forward, resigned. They had killed here before. In fact, this was where they had killed the first time. Of course it would be here that they did something they regret again. They smiled weakly. This place would never hold good memories for them, would it?

Frisk was opposite them, a mirror image with a stoic expression. Their coping mechanisms, both of them, it was so obvious; a false smile and a face that looked like two dashes and an underscore. But then again, they were just kids, weren’t they? And what kid should know killing this well?

They knew that right now, the dark armies of Gaster would be breaking through each door of the palace, searching each room, one by one, killing everyone who dared stand in their way. A pessimist would view that as inevitable, but they had seen both death and rebirth, and knew that both of these came together to make the universe.

The truth was that the glass wasn’t half empty. The glass wasn’t half full either. It was both, or it was none.

They sighed, lunging forwards to collide, magic running smoothly against Frisk’s attack, brushing it upwards in a parry, a parry that neither of their hearts were invested in. Neither could bring themselves to put full force behind it, so they both brushed against each other with the violence of a butterfly landing on a flower.

Frisk swung their weapon down, aiming this time for Chara’s chest, a move that was blocked sullenly by a limp blade. A punch aimed for their gut received in response, which was responded to with a knee to the groin.

Gaster would be at the end of the judgement hall by now. He’d be stepping into the gardens of the king. Asgore, he’d be watering his flowers. He wouldn’t know what hit him when the bone was thrust through his chest. He wouldn’t even be able to greet with his normal howdy before he had turned to dust.

Perhaps Toriel might try to retaliate, or perhaps the grief would consume her. Either way, it would always end the same. In short, this timeline was doomed. Both knew. But one didn’t want to let go.

Chara pulled themself back up from the floor, using their blade to prop their pained body up, then shakily returning to stance. They couldn’t give in, but they didn’t feel determined anymore. They only felt scared, and hurt. They only felt empty.

They lunged forwards, knowing full well that no matter what happened here, nothing good would happen. That no matter what they did, they were certainly going to lose everything right now. No matter what they did, no matter how hard they tried, the reality was, that this game had been a losing battle from the start.

Undyne was gone. She was the only one who could have possibly stopped it. Sans was dead, Papyrus was dead, and soon, everyone else would be too, if they weren’t already, that is.

Frisk wasn’t lying when they said it was hopeless. But if they didn’t hope, then how could anyone else. They were everyone’s hopes and dreams. It was their duty to hope, so that everyone else could. The one time they’d neglected that duty, Asriel had been killed, and the underground had fallen into sadness. So they had to hold on to their hope.

Chara blocked a blade aimed at their chest, responding with an uppercut into Frisk’s jaw, receiving a kick to the right knee that sent them stumbling, off balance, as they blocked another swipe, this time at their jugular, and landed quick punches, like small explosions, into Frisk’s stomach.

The battle had been lost before it had even begun, but hell, they’d be damned if they didn’t die fighting. That’s what they’d done all their life. Fight. Fight against Gaster’s control; fight their destiny; fight to kill people they loved; fight to keep everyone safe. That was what they knew best – fighting.

It came naturally, flinging the blade upwards, twisting away from a punch encased in powerful magic aimed at their stomach. It came naturally to thrust their fist forwards again, to slam it into the magic-shrouded fist heading for their jaw. To push with all they had left, the pitiful remains of a determined warrior. And hold fast, because if they didn’t, they’d be abandoning their duty.

A fist met a fist. A foot met a foot and then another fist flew into a stomach at the same time as a knee rammed into an exposed pelvis. They had shared a body for long enough to know how the other fought.

They fell forwards, bodies pressed cleanly against each other, both pulling back with the last of their remaining stamina to land a full blow, ramming their heads against each other, then their arms both blocking each other and pushing until they both fell limp, collapsing to the floor.

They eased themselves back to their feet, and then made a run at each other. Both slamming their fists into each other, one grabbing the other’s and crushing down, only to be pulled off their feet as the other slid past in a slide, sending them crashing to the ground again.

They both pulled themselves back up, both exhausted, and both with barely the will to fight anymore, but both feeling that for the sake of the universe, they had to.

Both knowing that no matter what, one of them was going to die here, so they might as well make it quick.

At the moment Frisk summoned a blade, so did Chara. At the same time, Gaster walked into a throne room, driving a bone through Asgore’s chest, blocking a barrage of defensive flame magic with the beam of a blaster. The king didn’t even finish his latest hum before he turned to dust.

They lunged forwards, weapons glancing off of each other, both forcing their blades up into the air. It was time to fight for what they believed in. It was time to end this.

Toriel’s response to Gaster was to summon a staff. She was grieving, but she couldn’t, she wouldn’t let him hurt her Asriel; not after all he’d gone through. She prepared her magic as quickly as she could, and lunged forwards. Out of her and Asgore, she’d always been the fighter. The one who had been strongest in the war, who had fought under him, saved him. But she hadn’t been able to save him now.

Chara blocked Frisk’s blade, forcing it to the side with a quick motion, slamming their leg into Frisk’s with a newfound energy as Frisk attempted to catch them in a headlock.

They reeled backwards, causing both of them to stumble, the headlock loosening, their escape dawning as Toriel’s trident met Gaster’s bone, as fire burnt into raw magic, leaving a trail of embers, of dust.

Their blades met, swinging about each other, forcing each other the side in an effort to get at the other’s chest, only to be parried when the other moved across, twisted the blade up and lunged inwards. The raw magic overpowered the fire, the bone forcing the trident downwards slowly as the blades locked around each other both trying to yank each other’s weapon free.

Gaster stepped aside as the staff was flung at his midsection, using a bone to force it free, bringing his own bones upwards behind her, forcing her to parry with a wall of fire.

Chara slammed their blade into Frisk’s, blades running diagonally across each other as they fell towards each other, their blade barely on the inside, barely able to get the angle as Frisk fell forwards, exhaustion and lack of will taking their toll.

Gaster rammed his bone forwards, forcing the trident down as he manoeuvred his blaster, forcing her to redirect her fire. She realised only too late what that meant.

Frisk fell into Chara’s arms, a position that looked like a hug as both blades disintegrated into dust, used magic. They shuddered, their voice shaky as they spoke. “I just wanted you to come home.” Chara let their warm body press against their shoulders, “Was that too much to ask?”

The heat from Frisks body slowly faded, the makeshift hug slowly vanishing as their breathing slowed, then faded away, as their eyes closed for one last time. Chara wanted to cry out, to beg them to come back. But they were already gone. It was already far too late to ask for Frisk to return, because they were long gone. And it was their blade that had killed them.

_People around them died. That was how things worked._

Toriel’s trident clattered against the ground as she grasped at the hole in her chest, a hole through which bones protruded. Gaster gave her a hollow smile, stepping around her as her vision faded, letting his blaster fire to erase any trace of her remains. She wouldn’t even be given a proper burial, because the blaster vaporised whatever it touched.

She shuddered. Hoping upon hopes that her child, that her children wouldn’t end up in his way.

As Gaster stepped into the last room before the barrier, he felt a presence behind him, and he couldn’t help but smile. Between him and the souls was one last obstacle, the last thing necessary to break Chara to the point where they wouldn’t _ever_ be able to recover.

_Asriel Dreemurr. The long lost prince._


	50. Chapter 35: Freefall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final chapter is upon us!
> 
> Woot woot?  
> No?
> 
> Oh...
> 
> Okay, I'll just give anyone actually reading this one last piece of music for this epic chapter. The piece I wrote it to, located [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmtOxvPsFt0)

Chapter 35: Freefall

Gaster smiled, “Ah. Prince Asriel.” He spread his arms, taking a step towards the prince, who summoned a, frankly, pitiful trident in response. “It is truly a pleasure to finally meet you.”

He summoned some of his magic as he took a step, a blaster, just for protection. Just in case he encountered any _resistance_. Then he sighed,  “Let me guess? You’re going to try to stop me, to prevent me from taking the human souls?” He laughed, it was obvious, and it was frankly, quite pathetic. Why everyone was so interested in them, he didn’t even have the faintest clue.

His grin grew, spreading across his face, so that even his eye sockets rose up on his head, “But you don’t realise yet that **_I’VE ALREADY WON_**.” He spread his arms wide,  “You see, your ‘best friend’, Chara. They have a rather…”

He smiled, seeing the way Asriel tensed up, realisation and fear plaguing his face. It was incredible, “…Fragile mental state. All I needed to do was give them a little ‘push’ and they’d revert to their core nature.” He took another step forwards, watching the goat prince shrink back as his shadow enveloped him, **“The demon that comes when you call their name.”**

He gave a smile that was gentle, filled with envy, “So I stopped them from forming any meaningful bonds, I took in a disgruntled time traveller, and gave them a renewed purpose. To destroy the happy ending that had been built by the first fallen human. **The happy ending they didn’t deserve.** ” He took another step, coming even closer. He was only a few steps from being able to finish what he started.

He gave a grin wider and stronger than any he’d yet given, the darkness in the room growing as his shadows covered each and every wall. “You see, they just killed someone they loved, and as far as they’re concerned, you’re all dead to my hand. And without family, without their precious friends, they’ll destroy the pointless world in which they stand, and move on to the next.”

He laughed, “Of course, you could kill me with your pathetic little trident, but the result would be the same, because you’d be erased from existence.” Then he sighed, “Either way, they’ll destroy it all, and then, when they recreate it, I’ll finally be back in the world. I’ll finally be able to get the revenge I desire, before any of you even know to stop me.”

He took another step, his shadow now covering the goat entirely. The darkness was growing, cutting deeper. “You probably ask why now? Well, what’s the best way to break someone? Is it to hurt them, the people they love, over and over with them knowing it’s you, but being unable to do anything to stop it?” He took another step forwards, “Is it to take it all away, bring it back and repeat over and over? No.”

He stepped forwards again, the Goat prince now so far back that he was sat down, “The best way to break someone, is to offer them exactly what they want. To put it right within their reach. And then, when they think they will finally get it. **To take it all away.** ” He laughed, “I should know. Your so-called best friend did it to me.”

He held a bone out, brushing the cowering Goat’s cheek, “You see, I wanted revenge on humanity, for what they did to my beloved, but they took it away, killed me, and shoved me out of existence in all versions of reality.” He sighed, “And then, they followed my plan, only to go back on it last minute, **as if they were trying to mock me.** ”

He grinned widely, “Then, they made me watch in my afterlife, as they forced someone to kill the monsters of the underground over and over and over again, to destroy what I already had, as well as what I did not. That broke me in full.” He laughed, “So, you see, I’m merely doing to them, what they did to me.”

He smiled, extending his hand, “I’m not hurting them any more than they hurt me.” Then he took another step, finally towering over the goat monster, “So, Prince, will you put down your weapon, or die fighting a futile battle like your parents?”

He watched as the prince lowered his weapon, putting it on the ground and taking a step back like the coward he was, then gripped him with his magic, holding him in a chokehold with many hundreds of hands all at once. “You coward! You didn’t expect me to grant you mercy did you? When you are the last thing I need to finish my plan?” He laughed, “And to think, you were going to be the heir to the throne. **_HOW PATHETIC._** ”

He sighed, his hands gripping a little tighter around the prince’s neck, “Well, I’ll be sure to put you in your rightful place. The ground. After all, even in life, you always were a houseplant, a puny little weed.”

The hands released the prince, and he plummeted, landing on his hands and knees. Gaster chuckled, “Any last words, weed?”

Asriel sighed, “Yeah, actually.” A smile graced his face, “You see, you haven’t yet asked why I’m not a weed.” He had a feeling Gaster would catch on soon. He was the royal scientist after all. Surely he’d figure this out.

Gaster laughed, “If it is the souls, then it won’t matter anyway. Your best friend will destroy the timeline regardless if they think you’re dead.” Then he sighed, “Time is a wonderful thing, is it not?”

Asriel took a step forwards, fire magic in his palms, just in case, “No. The reason I’m not a ‘volatile houseplant’, is because of something else.” He was struggling to bite back the hatred in his voice. Who would do all this. Kill people, just to settle a score? What kind of person was Gaster anyway? He sighed, “It’s because I have a soul bond.” He smiled, then let the fear spread over Gaster’s face as he finished. “A soul bond with **_my best friend_**.”

Asriel couldn’t help but smile, “And because of that soul bond, they now know how thoroughly much I love them, how much everyone does.” He stepped a little closer again, the shadows in the corners of the room retreating back as he did, “And they now know your plan.”

He sighed, extending his palm as a vine shot out of the wall behind him, “The brilliant thing here, is that I still have Flowey’s powers.” He sighed, “Do you have _any_ idea how much of the underground my roots covered when I was him. I could go **_ANYWHERE_**.”

Gaster looked genuinely afraid, his hands and arms tied by the vines, meaning he could no longer control his blaster, and had to watch as it slowly disintegrated into spent magic as Asriel covered his mouth with a small giggle, “Sorry. I suppose that was my uhm… ‘Flowey side’ speaking, he was me, after all.”

He extended his arm, bringing out his fire magic. Which caused Gaster to smile, “You can’t kill me, remember? You’ll be erased from existence if you so much as touch me with that.” He chided, sounding confident again, the shadows on the walls growing ever so slightly.

Asriel sighed, “But then again, he also sorta wasn’t… So I figure if **_HE_** kills you, nobody will be erased at all.” And yet again, fear spread across Gaster’s face as he realised the implications. As he realised the incredibly painful death that he was about to experience.

Asriel gave him a full smile, closer to Flowey’s and Chara’s ‘creepy face’. “The fire magic is just to make it so you can see me when I put the souls back beneath the floor, where they should be. **_Right before your eyes._** ” Then he sighed, “I was really taking a huge gamble, but I had a creeping feeling you were the sort to monologue when you were certain you’d win. Guess I was right.”

The vines moved upwards, lifting him up just a little, then Asriel’s eyes flashed a faint shade of red. “When I took Chara’s soul, they didn’t know it, but I got a few of their memories. So I know what you did to them, how you hurt them, and trust me, on any day, let’s just be honest here.” He smiled, lighting the vines, causing Gaster to gasp as the heat radiated through his body, as the black smoke choked him and the vines pressed in, crushing him.

**_“ASSHOLES LIKE YOU SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL.”_ **

As Gaster screamed, the fires burning his bones, the vines crushing them inwards on themselves with sickening cracks, he watched through blurred eye sockets as the containers for the six human souls slowly retracted beneath the ground, as his objective, as his salvation, held inches in front of his face, was torn away once more.

He yelled out. Nothing more than a barrage of curses at the prince before him, as the prince just passed him, barely batting an eyelid. He smiled, looking at Gaster one last time, “Seriously, you’re actually kinda pathetic. I’m surprised that Chara didn’t call you out on it.”

Then he left, leaving Gaster to suffer and burn and beg and yell in lonely silence. Leaving him to experience all the pain he’d inflicted on others alone as the vines slowly moved in closer and closer and the flames burned him, but neither happened quite fast enough to make it a quick death, both being slow enough to make it drag on and hurt.

Gaster had planned for Chara to fall, to lose everything and become a demon that knew only pain and death, and he’d come dangerously close.

But now they were free from him, and free from their burdens. So they could finally have the life they deserved, a life free of suffering and manipulation.

They had been falling for a long time, but now they were finally free.

Asriel was certain he’d be there to catch them when they finally reached the ground…


	51. Epilogue: Check mate.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wonder what the aftermath of all that crazy stuff was?
> 
> If you desire music for this final chapter, [here it is](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmkuuutOxzQ).

Epilogue: Full circle

Epilogue: Check mate.

_Monster dust is spread over the object they like the most._

Asgore’s dust was spread over the garden which he cherished, even in his dying moment. The garden he’d cared for with every ounce of his being, so that he could tend to those flowers, even after his death, and so that he could look after any fragments of Asriel that still remained in that bed.

Toriel’s dust was spread on the flowers at the entrance of the ruins; the flower bed where her child had been buried all those years before; the flower bed where she had grieved, and cried, and mourned, but now could finally rest.

The dust of the undying hero was spread by the echo flowers in waterfall, beneath the ceiling to which monsters voiced their hopes and dreams.

_This is so that in death, they will always be on, around, and with whatever they love the most._

The royal prince, Asriel, and the long-lost royal child, Chara, were welcomed with open arms. They promised to rule over the underground, as their family had before them.

Chara took up the mantle of Undyne, training the royal guard. There were rumours that they were angry with themself, and that the intense training was a way of punishing themself for sins they had not committed, for errors in judgement that could not have been avoided.

_It may prove difficult, grief always does, but it is important to stay strong, for if we break, what are we to those we have lost? How does hurting others to cope commemorate the fallen?_

Alphys began work on a new prototype. A new plan to break the barrier, but over the months, she became more and more reclusive. Retreating ever deeper into her lab, just like the royal scientist before her.

Mettaton’s TV updates became less and less frequent, and more and more morose, reflecting the mood of monsters in the underground, eventually stopping altogether.

_The Fall of an Angel is inevitable. Stars will always burn out some day, and those that burn brightest and strongest; The Angels. They die most spectacularly, in an explosion known as a Supernova._

Snowdin became more and more vacant, monsters that lived there moving back to New Home, eventually causing Grillby’s to go out of business, to close up shop, hang up the burnt apron one last time, for good.

The wishes to the stars on the ceiling of waterfall increased dramatically in the first few months, but slowly began to fall in frequency.

_All we can do at dark times, when the Angels in our lives are gone, is hope, Try to hold on, even if we know that in truth, doing so is in vain. Because if we give up, give in to grief and regret, we are doing our fallen angels no favours, and turning to the calls of our inner demons._

Hope wouldn’t cut it forever, though. And soon, the very civil war that the fallen had died to prevent broke out yet again.

With leaders weakened by grief, by regret, just barely holding onto their hopes, the royal family was overcome, and the palace burned down to the ground.

Gaster hadn’t been lying when he’d said he’d already won. It didn’t matter if he was defeated. The effects of killing King Asgore always pan out in the same way. He knew this better than anyone else. Better than Chara, better than Asriel, because he was the only one who had been able to see the timelines after the fallen human left through the barrier.

_And if we turn to our inner demons, then the Angels who remain will fall._

As the palace burned, a former leader of a formerly great guard, a human among monsters, slipped away into the shadows, and though many searched for them, nobody was able to find them again.

_It was as if they just… ceased to exist altogether._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an amazing time writing this. I hope your experience reading it was just as good as mine. If it wasn't, I fear I may have done you all some form of injustice.
> 
> Thank you to Toby Fox for making Undertale - an inspirational game that truly inspired me. Seriously, I can't stress this enough, if you haven't played it already, go [here](http://www.undertale.com) and get it. I promise you won't regret that decision.
> 
> Thank you also to [TheSketcherLass](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSketcherLass) for writing the amazing [SAVE, too is an acronym](http://archiveofourown.org/series/388030) series, especially her work [Sans Determination](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6344407/chapters/14535586), a piece of writing so brilliant that it inspired me to pick up the pen (or, in my case, the keyboard) and write 127K words of pure emotion.
> 
> A final thank you to you, for reading my work.  
>  Without you reading this, all my hard work would mean nothing.
> 
> Now that this project, which took me 6 months of late nights and ranting my head canons to a whiteboard and an empty room, has finally come to an end, I will move on to write a sequel, or perhaps an original work of my own design... Trust me, I already have ideas for how these characters may continue to develop.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this last piece of text, now feel free to rest your eyes.
> 
> eJ121


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